Friday, December 31, 2010

new year Resolution.

This year. I intend to keep it simple. Short. And realistic.

Hence I'm splitting my resolutions into 4. For every quarter.

I want to be able 2 pay my tithe. Religiously. God has been too good to me.

I need to apply. For a uni. Soon.
I need to get my self in shape. For what I do not know. I saw a picture of my Yellow sisi. *sigh* I'm opressed.

I need to learn how to play the piano.

Yes not in that particular order.

Oh and Yay. Someone promised me an iPad.

I'm not really crazy about stuff like that because I have an iTouch and a laptop.
And quite frankly gadgets aren't really my thing. And I have 2 pay 10k everymonth to get internet on it??? Like the hell? After paying 4 my BIS.

*breaths in*

But seeing as its a gift. *exhale*

I shall accept.

Oh and I got a wii too.

2010 was a great year I tell you.

So 2011. I can't wait to see what you have in store for me. And all that jazz.

A very Optimistic

Monday, December 20, 2010


i keep reading my older blogposts.

this is something i'd never admit to myself.
but seeing as this is a blogi mean i can write on viewsi do not really agree wit.

anyways back 2what i was saying.

having a Lover, has made me a happier person.

i cant explain it.butthats the truth.

and iyama i have chapped lips and a huge pimple on my face.

i haveno facialproducts with me :'(

i really enjoy reading. i miss reading with the lover.

well more like to him.

im saying a prayer for As.

my resultiscoming out on the 23rd.

im really trying not to think aboutit.

i really need to start registering for ACCA.

and applyingfor masters. and getting geared for a real job.
you know i see people going on and on and icant help but give thanks to how great 2010 was. it was a fabulala yr mayne!!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


now Normally due to past relations with certain people, i try my most possible best to refrain from meeting/ making friends on the internet

** read internet as Twitter.

any ways a few people have managed to pull thru this my screening process. like my Iyawo R for instance. but no today isnt about her.

its about someone who i was able to talk to when i had no one.

lets call her yellow sisi.

anyways yellow sis really came through for me during one of my nervous breakdowns.*

* nervous breakdown is the decent version of what really happened.

any ways so today i was supposed to meet up with YS.

i had a little procedure that i had to attend to and YS had opted to show up for Moral suppport. i needed all the moral support.

unfortunately YS didnt show up and we were meant to meet up somewhere else.

thats how i was at shop TS. and YS said she was on the street but was going to PM to get gloves and thats how i was waiting.

waiting ooo

and still waiting.

thats how i said wth lemmie even go and look her her. mind you i have never met YS face to face ( tho ihave a vauge idea what she looks like)
so i was trekking searching for my YS despite very unfavourable weather conditions i persevered.

20 mins later my phone just freezes. i cant hola. she is calling me.

its not ringing on my end.

im calling her and getting voicemail.

weather is getting worse.


i was totally unhappy.

i was actually pissed off
after sending like a million bbm messages to her.

i eventually decided to call and drop a voicemail. telling her im heading home AND. that she should head home too. sad times.

Friday, December 10, 2010

men that stay toasting.

i was in Paris for the last three days, and it is such a beautiful city gosh.

anyways so i decided to buy the Lover sthg amazing.

and i ended up with bottles of wine.

hopefully they wont break before i get home. lol

i dont know why i felt the need to put that out there.

i saw my friend Chef Gbubemi Fregene.

thank you, you were an awesome tour guide.

even though i didnt get to go to disneyland. :(

it also hit me how disadvantaged i am not being able to speak any other language apart from english.

seeing as i grew up in Lagos. i speak little isoko tho. My mother speaks it to me when she is furious.

My friend got married and she is having a baby shower.

i confess a little bit of me is envious, at least she has marriage and 1st baby outta the way.

but on the other hand, what of work, a career, life, you know stuff asides the final stop.

ish is scary men! and i applaud her. and i wish her all the best.

moving on, what is it with men that stay toasting tho.

so there is this dude i know, who i will say is my friend. except he wants to be more than my friend.

he always wanted to be more than my friend. and he has been trying to be more than my friend since they day he saw me.

his only Crime. he is my cousins best friends brother.

i know how strange it sounds but i do NOT mix pleasure with family.

anyhoos B doesnt read my blog. and all that. so he invited me to "stop by" at his during the week. and i passed.

i dont think he is happy with me. he will be fine.

right now as i blog someone is served with is talking to be on bb. for some reason, we have remained friends.

i find it impossible to keep in touch. too impossible.

after seeing the arab kids display all that cash in Paris *sigh* i have finally concluded on my new years resolution.

its simple. get an Arab toaster.

yes see i dont like to make too much demands on my self.

im having problems deciding on what course to study for my Masters.

i want to do International Buiness and Mgt. BUT my uncle thinks im too intelligent for that. he wants me to go to Oxford or cambridge and study Msc applied econs.

yes i get im intelligent.but NO. it is not that serious.

anyways he wants me to get another course seeing as i was unable to explain how the one i want to do will better my life.

i am so thankful for family members like him, who dont assume i want to get married next year. lol

i mean we had such a long talk today i felt intelligent.

i need to go to the spa men. i keep pulling my back muscle. for some random reason.

its odd that i like the smell of male fragrnace.

offcourse i miss The Lover. i'd never tell him though. i enjoy hearing him say it.

double standards and tinz.

im getting my wii on tuesday. lets call it a belated birthday present to myself.

the Lover thinks i should get a kinect. i think i dont have enouch space in my palour for that kinda drama and extra wahala.

2010 has been such a fabolous year for me. i am so so thank ful. i know i need to do my half year report. im just waiting to get my Ican result.

Did i mention how amazing The Lovers Mother is?? ( yes i know this is famzzz) but my loser Ex boyfriends mother hated me. :( so for me this is a huuuge improvement. but then again i traded up with the Lover so im not surprised.

again i just deleted something i wanted to say. im too scared of stuff coming to bite me in the ass. this is the internet after all.

i think i should go to bed its 5:37am and im rambling on about Nothing.

ok 2nd new years resolution. to learn how to play the piano. yes i know im old and all that. stuff it. i want to learn *pout*

i Miss Eneni and our gossip sessions on bbm. and our free call sessions when i was studying all night for my exam. i wish her all the best in her tests and exams and all that.

ps: im worried im turning into a recluse. i am not intrested in attending any event in december.

and we all know how events yapa for december in NIgeria. *shrugs*

oh and by the way. the sexy sexy Officer Ricky is in town! i hope Lagos shows him some love.

i really should get off now.

an Uber thankful


pss: Ladies come on. lets leave the red hair for Riri now...

Monday, December 6, 2010


i am excited.

because i'm going to see my friend who i haven't seen in ages.

im also worried he will condemn my life with the lover.

but everyone has an opinion i have the final say.

im on vacation. it has been beautiful.

im away with my sister, who i don't get along with, and amazingly we have managed not to get into any fights.

i am thankful because my mum keeps saying we are embrassing her.

not like i mind tho.

but Paris was special it was supposed to be mine. and my mum said i had 2 have my sister with me.

im not mad anymore, a tiny part of me is beginning to accept her. for who she is. and how she acts and all that.

offcourse i miss the lover- this goes without saying.

but im thankful for the time apart from him.

we are so close, gosh i may as well be his sister. ok scratch that. that's incest and thats just nasty. but you get my point

** i know how odd it seems that while everyone wants 2 be with their SO forever, im thankful for time apart?? i cant understand it. because i miss him to little little bits and at the same time, im happy we have a little distance.

i passed my first ever job test.

this is such a huge deal for me. because its a job i always wanted. its close to home. and quite frankly it means my days of failing exams are over.

especially as i was torn between Ican and Gmat texts.

im worried about what my Ican result will be. i know im going to pass, but i wonder why im worried.

i need to learn to be anxious for nothing.

i really miss the lover.

i bought a new camera. because my little cousins in NY said i am the most beautiful girl they have ever seen.

i havent taken any picture yet. not one.

children are amazing.

for a long time i didnt want kids, but after spending time with them. oooohhh i want little girlies :)

i have OD'd on this song -----> hey soul sister.

my home girl won the underground comeptition!! yay her. im sooo excited for her.

i get overtly excited when people that can do stuff actually go out and make it happen.

my mum is having a super 50th birthday once i get home.

i just realised that i may have to move out of my house. with the way all the guests are flocking over.

if there is anything my family has taught me, its that i should never marry a man with a large extended family.

that is one mistake i will not make. ever. my family is large and stressful. i love them, but i wonder if i would love someone elses family as much.

i hate dramatic people. i also loathe people who have problems with me and then run off and tell a third party. it irritates me to the core of my very being.

i think im overtly obsessed with myself.
** read self as waist line and ass.

i havent worked out in ages. i think i'll get a trainer back. i have a wedding in feb

and i think i'd love to fit into a size 8 dress.

i really should be able to write stuff i really want to on my blog.

but i worry that 8 years from now when i make partner, they will come to haunt me.

i want to go out. in 2007 to reloaded. and dance on the tables. and give my shoes to the boy watching me dance.

and get very drunk and dutty wine with my friends and just wild out and not have anyone tweet about it the next day.

or take pictures and put them on thier "gossip blogs" and run degratory commentary.

i miss the days when life was easy.

i long for those days when to kiss aboy in he club, you had to be veeery drunk or be verrry hidden.

i read my journal sometimes.

RIP Taiwo Akibayo.

i want that era of night life back, before the fanta babes and gossip bloggers/fashion police.

i wish someone would do something about a phone allowed club.or am i being dramatic? maybe.

ps. i need ideas on what to get my Lovers Mother.
im such a generic gift giver. i send/buy people cakes religiously on thier birthdays.

ask Debo. lol

speaking of which. i miss Debo.
his birthday is around the corner.
his last birthday party *blush* i dont think i'll ever be allowed to forget what happened.

but i wish him all the best this year.

i need to do a half year report. and its looking like an A+ this year end.

2010 was such a good year for me.

i was/am blessed wayy beyond what i deserve.

and i am thankful.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

hey soul sister

i saw glee last night and kurts new school perfomed this song.

and ive been unable to get it out of my mind ever since.

i love it. ive been singing along all day. i sound like a toad. :(

its hey soul sister by train. since i can insert videos and pictures. you will have 2 manage the lyrics. its such a beautiful song.

" and im always going to want to blow your mind"

*sigh* thats my best line.

"Hey, Soul Sister"

Heeey heeeey heeeeey

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam
The smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided you're the one I have decided
Who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight

Heeey heeeey heeeey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me
You gave my life direction
A game show love connection, we can't deny
I'm so obsessed
My heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna
And I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight

The way you can cut a rug
Watching you is the only drug I need
So gangster, I'm so thug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see I can be myself now finally
In fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you'll be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that mister mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain't fair you know
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do tonight
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)
Heeey heeeey heeeeey (tonight)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

wake up call

so yesterday, i got a DM from someone asking for my contribution on a particular matter.

1st i was excited she asked me, even though i know she asked other people, but yeah she asked me so that made me happy.

2nd. i didnt know what to say. and i still dont know what to say. in 50 words i cant define what love is to me.

so while talking to my homie E on the phone last night i just told her OMG xyz asked me "what is love?" i wonder why she even asked me sef i said.

E just said ahhhhn why wont she ask you? when every other tweet is about your lover. Gosh you are so in love, you are prally the only person she even asked sef.

P: ehnnn i am NOT IN LOVE JO!
e: EHN why are u shouting? ok you are not in love you are in serious like.
P: actually im fond of him.
E; abeg abeg. be there lying to your self.
lol and so we went back and forth on the issue sha

bottom line is i still dunno what it is.

i was going to go with 1st corinth 13. 1-8. but errr i am not patient and all that so that would have been a lie.

so i was going to say that love is coming home to something everyday, be it a dog, cat, lover or even a bottle of perfume. :S

i love my chance perfume. no really i guard evry drop jealously.

but then that didnt make anysense.

so im back at square 1.
what is love? ideas anyone??

love cant described by word, it is a feeling, that is like asking you to describe a scent with colors and not words. see insufficent.

but i know this about love, when you get it, you wont need 2 ask anyone if this is really it, because then you just know that it is.
no doubts, no nothing. no sacrifice is too big, and a 30 mins wait becomes a blink of an eye. it flies right by.

i dont think im making sense. but love isnt always smooth sailing, but it is better to have love and lost than never to have loved. i think :S

a confused

side note: i think i just figured it out. last 2 paragraphs. :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

a rant/cry for help.

from Eneni with love and care and all that jazz.
i love you so damn much *sigh*

Crappy customer service
From GTB to Arikair to hairdressers, I can't even tell the exact order and the number of times I've had to complain. Oh did I forget to put Air Nigeria on the list??
I'm writing this as pissed as I can possibly be this time, thanks to Arikair. If they know they can’t handle bookings over the Internet they should simply shut it down and go the old 'over the counter' way. I've been on hold for 12mins. 12MINS!!!!! Of course the hold was interrupted at a 2mins interval with "please hold we are working on it" and no I wasn't using a land line or network with cheap tariffs, I was using my cell all for the simple reason I didn't want to end up stranded at the airport. I swear it would have cost me less if I went all the way to their office rather than try to sort it out over the phone but then again it would have cost more time, which is more valuable to me at the moment. By the way I wasn’t placed on hold when it was time to make the payment.
What is the use of putting our emails and phone numbers if it won’t be used to reach us should the need arise?? The last time I used Air Nigeria they moved the flight forward by 4hrs and we obviously weren’t informed. Imagine what waiting 4hours can do to you. Thank goodness I didn’t have any other plans for that day. All we got for the delay was "we're sorry for the inconveniences" and a smile from the attendants (I admit one was cute) but how was that supposed to make it better?? Oh did I mention it was a return ticket and I missed the 'to' because I came 10mins after checking had closed?? Of course I begged and pleaded and got the "I’m sorry you are late there's nothing we can do". 10mins vs. 4hours...........10MINS vs. 4HOURS!!!!! I'm late for 10mins there's nothing you can do, you are late for 4hours and I’m automatically supposed 2 accept sorry???BS!!!!! Oh and by the way don’t bother complaining because if u do the attendants will give you the 'we've apologized if you are not satisfied go hug a transformer on a rainy day' look.
GTB *sigh* I don’t know where to start. I’ve been forced to forfeit money just because I’m sick of yelling (yes when I’m pissed I yell. in fact yelling sounds cute I scream so don’t piss me off) at them for not rectifying costly errors. And of course the apologies "we're sorry for the inconveniences" 2weeks and you still sorry?? Like are they all programmed to say this shit?? Stop freaking apologizing, get working!!!! And oh the "have a nice day" when you are about to leave still obviously unsatisfied in my opinion makes it worse. Come let me slap you daily for 2weeks let’s see how nice your day is going to be.
Now to the hairdresser.......I hate waiting. No it’s not the usual cliché diva attitude, I just hate waiting. I’m not the most punctual of people but I believe cell phones were made for a reason. If you’ll b late, or even worse not show up, call/sms……anything!!! Just don’t keep me waiting. I go to different hairdressers each based on recommendation and depending on the hairdo I want so you can imagine my pain when this guy kept me waiting for 2hours and still hadn’t shown up. No calls/sms…. (Ok asking for email in this case is pushing it) and I obviously left pissed when I didn’t see him and he still didn’t call/sms/apologize (yes in this case an apology would have been accepted). Considering the fact it was my first time using him, he definitely lost a potential customer.

Is it just this country that we the customers are made to go through such?? These are just a few examples, I can go on and on……I mean I’ve gotten a free movie ticket (popcorn inclusive) just because the sound went off during the movie, it wasn’t even off for up to 30seconds. While here in Nigeria (ceddi plaza) they took light during a movie 2ce!!! And we didn’t get anything.

Am I being difficult?? Am I asking for too much?? I think the problem is to them it’s just a customer. What they don’t realize is it’s never just a customer; it’s a chain of people you are driving away. I’m not against the apologies, they are highly necessary but don’t just apologize, try to pacify the customers and don’t keep apologizing/pacifying, get to work.

I forgot to mention, halfway through this post/rant, Arikair called me back *gasps* yes they did. There might be hope for the country after all so #RSVP (register, select, vote, protect)….yea I know just had to fit that in somewhere. So I’m left with =N=4.00 on my phone, a confirmed ticket and hope that they don’t cancel/delay the flight or if they do I get informed early enough.

Monday, November 8, 2010


Ive have been asleep for so long.

i am finally awake.

Christ be with me, Christ within me

Christ behind me, Christ before me

Christ beside me, Christ to win me

Christ to comfort and restore me

Christ beneath me, Christ above me

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger

Christ in hearts of all that love me

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

excerpts from Paron Saint of Ireland.

I am Awake.

Friday, October 29, 2010

101st ( is that even correct?) blog post :)

My Birthday is on tuesday. This is Friday. And I'm still not excited. Now to make matters worse I didn't even "Release my Birthday gift wishlist". Since Uloh just reminded me. Here is my Wish list.

1. Chance By Chanel. 100ml. EDP.

2. 1 million Paco Raban. 100ml (MALE) that female one is a hot mess for a fragrance.

3. The Number of a reliable good "affordable" tailor. In Lagos state.

4. A cook book.

5. 3 Paulo Cohelo books.

6. Ankara?

( I'm running out of items :( )
7. Iman Powder. Earth dark?

I have run out of things I want for my birthday. Truth be told. I really don't want anything. I'm not even buying myself a cake. Lol.

I'm getting myself what I really want. And yes its on that list. That means there is one item on that list that I do not have and I'm getting for myself. Everything else. I already have at least 2 of. Amusing huh?

I think gaining financial independence to be has been of the best birthday gifts I could have given my self this year.

Maybe that is why I am reluctant to create a birthday wishlist. It could also be that I don't want to take anything from anyone. I've been a taker for too damn long.

*do not Read Taker as Gold digger.

But I am the type of person that people feel the need to give things to. Don't ask me why tho. I have no idea.

So yeah I have fulfilled all righteousness and created a birthday wishlist. Hope fully everyone can sleep in peace now.

A very unexcited.

PuSsy Kat.x

Ps. Ok ok ok I know I'm not a taker but that toy watch in my profile picture. *sigh*

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

12:21 am. palindrome anyone?

i should be studying, for an exam i have in about 30days. but no i havent even opened my books.

so if anyone knew me back in qc or Uni, they'd know i had pimples. not the kind that jessica alba used to advertise all them clean and clear o. proper big boy pimples that lasted an average of 2 weeks, had 2 mouths and bled like a period cycle.

so yea i had really nasty pimples. growing older i was able 2 associate these nasty pimples with my menstrual cycle and know what 2 eat, how often 2 wash my face and all that.

and just as i was getting tired of living this life. POW!
allong came Natural Saturdays.

now just so u know i had tried everything on my face, EVERY SINGLE THING, EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING PRODUCT.

like just from me alone Neutrogena, clinque, Olay, clean and Clear. must have had thier stock prices sky rocket. dont forget, proactive and co. and thats just all the janded products, the caliber of local goods i had put on my face ehn. delta soap, POP( u ppl shudnt form like u dunno the pink POP cream)

in other words, i was tired of pimples, products and spending money i didnt even have.

so my friends said they had this thumb rule of not putting on thier bodies, what they cant eat( put in thier mouths)

and i too followed, because i was sick and tired of pimples. and guess what. it worked.

i was at my friends house with braids and when i lifted the braids, dude screamed and asked where all my pimples went. imagine?

yes thats how surprised every one is about my facial improvement.

i owe this all to the ladies of Natural saturdays.

and you know "e fit be you"
this testimony of super clear (i now wear only white powder) skin could be urs.

how? you ask?

well the Natural Saturday Ladies are in town!!! yay

*doing carlton dance*

i know, im excited too. well on the 31st of october, the ladies will be at the fusion Sales.
and would be offering, expert advice on Natural hair care and skin care too.

plus this works for everyone. ive got everyone around me on that Natural tip men.

im talking the whole Nine yards. from my Mother to my lover. and i have natural items stashed every where. i shall not be found wanting.

so what are you waiting for?

if you want clear beautiful skin like mine * turns face left and right live in the adverts* i advice you to get your own Natural products.

i wasnt asked to do this,
this is my 100th blog post and i wanted it 2 be special
whats more special than the product that cleared your pimples?
so Big ups to the Natural Saturday ladies, yall deserve it. and more.

Monday, September 27, 2010

i Miss The Lover.

The title says it all. In all the ways imaginable. Like all the fucking possible ways. Its almost disgusting. *rolls eyes* I could explain how in detail, but I can't bother putting myself through that stress jare.
I was out on friday night. The 1st time out without the Lover in a looooong time. But I mean life goes on right?
*i must stop 2 say that I feel so so sorry for all the single ladies in lagos, the amount of Useless men that go clubbing is ridiculous*

So friday night I got all dolled up and things. Nails, hair. Tiny skirt and all that Jazz. And hit Marquee. I ran smack into my church member. I would type out the whole convo except I don't think its relevant 2 the koko of this post. Sha basically His mum had given him my number 2 kinda have lunch with me or sthg, since he just came back from his masters and he got a distinction and so on and so forth. He sha managed 2 scream all this into my ears at despite the loud music. I just said yeah like the (Y) smiley thumbs up and things and ran away. No need explaining 2 your drunk church member that you have a Lover at the top of your Voice.

Fastforward to 2 seconds later. I ran smack into Mr AA. * I swear Eneni and Nengi I'm not going to Marquee again ahn ahn* Mr AA is practically my uncle.
*if you are Nigerian, you'll know that your friend's uncle is your uncle and blah blah blah*

So I left marquee after running into what 5 of the Lovers friends. LoL.

Anyways we ( my friends and I) headed to bacchus. And there the fun began. Saw a LOT of people. And I found a dance partner for the night. After a while, I began 2 miss my lover. :( and I just sat down and started staring, and tweeting and staring. Truly sad stuff.

Anyways I got past that funk and started dancing, but by then the make shift dance partners' sex partner had arrived, *i know this because I noticed him looking around and I snatched his  and looked at it* by the way it is Amazing what an ass like mine helps you get away with at the club. LoL.

Yeah yeah so after I left, I didn't feel like going 2 Rehab and mingling with under-age kids, so I went home. ALONE.
If anyone drinks alcohol. The least you can do for yourself is not go home alone. *this is why people call their ex's*

So I went home alone and fucking pissed off. Because I had 2 sleep alone. Like I had no one in my Bed. Fucking disgusting. *made a mental note to ask the Lover for a teddy bear or sthg*
Yeah so the next day I woke up by 10am alone again, in my bed.

And I could go on and on, but it was a drab weekend. The closest thing I got to action, was some girl that grabbed my ass to check if it was real, because it looked fake??
Yes I allowed her because I have started entertaining lesbian fantasies.

Ok I kid. I haven't I'm a cock lady.

But yeah its been 2 weeks now. And I'm running mad. For someone I see 3times a week. Every week. This is a cold turkey as cold turkey gets.
But then everything Reminds me of him. Every single thing. It annoys me to bits.

Like for instance how a song comes on and I know how long it takes 4 the instrumentals come on because he told me??

Him being out of town. Means I'm bored. Bored outta my mind.
And I hate being Bored.
Contemplating getting boyfriend number 2 or sthg. Because I am an attention Whore, and this supposed LDR I found myself in, is just not Werking. *rolls eyes*

But my darling Debo took me out on sunday :) and gave me sthg to look forward to on friday. Sthg so hot I have my ass in the gym everyday for 2hours. After all this I need my body to be looking like Video vixen "Super Heads'" own.

Ok I need 2 stop now. I still can't tell my Lover how much I miss him. Pride does come before a fall. I just need 2 make sure I'm falling over the right body. LoL.
I have also bought a ticket. Yes so soon I shall stop crying about this ish. Till then I miss my lover. And since I can't or rather won't tell him.
I shall blog about it. :)

A Proud

#np Crazy Kci $ Jojo.

Sunday, September 19, 2010


Aka Long Distance Relationships, are from the Devil.
Nobody can convince me otherwise.

I am depressed, I have exprienced withdrawal symptoms. And I seem to forget. That my Lover is gone. :(

Today after school when I went 2 buy sharwama. I kinda forgot he wasn't around and bought the same amount I usually buy. Now I'm stuck with 2 extra and no one 2 give. *sigh*

Not forgetting my uber free weekends.too much time. Maybe I should get into some trouble.

So now I'm watching House. And I wish Dr cuddy and Greg House would just get together already.

The Lover taught me TV. How 2 buy Dvds and watch. Compulsively.
I miss him to tiny lickel lickle bits.

Offcourse I'd never tell him this. I say I'm doing fine.

Because I think I am. Or I hope so anyways. *sigh*

Monday, September 13, 2010

updated Buisness Plan

i know we are ina recsession, but the music yall are making is gonna bring back/ put us in the great depression.- jayZ.

well i know we are in a recession so i decided to tweak my business plan a lickle bit. well not a little bit but you get my point. and i can see only three ways to tho that.i still wanna make partner at 30/35 lateste. but mennn babes have gatta make that cash nowwww. and since i cant sing, or dance, or model, or design clothes or take pictures. i have come up with these 3.

1. politics. i am WILLING to go to china to print shirts, facecaps, biros, note pads, plastic buckets you name it, for the up coming elections. i tweeeted this last night and a lot of people thot i was playing, when my cash comes rolling in. remeber the 12th commandment. " thou shall not beg" especially for stolen money via polictical contracts. it doesnt matter though because i am not giving out my hard earned money. so please if your father is a politican, your mother a 1st lady. hell if ur aristo is a senator, hook me up, i prmose not 2 steal your aristo. all i want is a legit contract.

1b. the 50th birthday celebration. excussssssseeeeeeeee ME!!! but have you seen the budget for the 50th birthday celebration. i dont know about you but that right there, that is the Original NATIONAL MOI MOI! dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

2. its to go into the aristo business. you see, the major problem(s) with this aristo business is/ areplenty.

1. i am the spitting image of my mother.
2. my mother is a major loan aprrover for quite a number of aristos i know.
3. so this means they are going to be spending my mothers' banks money( i really dont mind)
4. except when thier names are printed on news papers they will expect me to out in a goood word with the mother 2 bail them out.
5. offcourse i cant and wont do that because i am not excepted 2 even know these people.
6. and that my readers is how a city people headline is born.
and no i do not want to be a city people headliner. well not till i am a lagos big girl anyways.

3. and probably the one my mother will aprrove of. marry rich.
yes so please wich unmarried uncles, with no kids preferably. well if there are kids, max of two preferably from different women. ( that way i'll be able 2 pick an ally) must own a private jet, and get me a pent house apartment in banana island. preferbaly not igbo. and i would like if he is an only child.
note* uncle used here refers to your fathers friend, who has been in america all his life, now has a green card and is back because his father just recently passed and he inherited a shit load of money.

ehn this uncles father that just died, would have no uncle so there would be no contender with me for the wealth. by the way he must not be igbo/yorua/hause. i would like a middle belt-ish dude.
age range greater than 30 but less than 50.
please hook a sister up. and a nice sizable commission, payable in anual installments awaits you.

in other unrelated news. happy birthday to benniebooo! i had teww much fun and thanks for having me.

i visited spar this weekend. nice place. i like. and it is waaaaiitt for itt... cheaper than palms :) *dancing alanta*

also got my hair did, apparently it looks like hair that costs 55k. aka fifty five thousand Naira.
aka that is a shit load of money... which off course is why i have 2 marry rich. i amtired of my friends making me take them to the market 2 show them where i buy my hair and tinzzz.

or maybe i should sell brazilian hair.

a money on my mind.
Pussy Kat.x

Monday, September 6, 2010

This High

i think Monday gets me on some high. *sorry womilee* but seriously. i am happy on mondays. actually very happy. its indescribable.( forgive my spelling)

anyways i met someone yesterday, and she asked when i was getting married.

i screeched and said ahn but im just * insert approriate small girl age here*
she looked at me and said, life carries us on a course, wether or not you are ready.
you have finished school, and you have finished Nysc. even if you do a masters, marriage is definately on the table. you cant avoid it.

and i realised that its true, i cant avoid the truth anymore. i am the prime candidate for marriage.
yes i am a "somewhat" serious relationship. BUT this girl is NOT ready for marriage.

i just feel like i am not ready.
except everyone else in my family thinks i am. especially my uncles.

everytime i make them dinner, they say the same thing. ahhhhh your husband must pay dollars for us.

add that with the fact that i have a serious commimtment problem. mixed with the fact that i would be leaving for a masters degree next year. maybe i should have just gone this year. *sigh*

even the high monday gives me cant fix this.

a very "not ready for marriage"

Ps. i have this friend that i offended, unknowingly, because of how much allowance i give to people, i somehow except the same for them, and i keep forgetting not everyone is as non-chalant about some stuff like me.
so even though she said its ok, and she smiled and said she had forgiven me.
i know she is still mad. i know she hasnt forgiven me
and i dont know how 2 handle it. i mean i have apologized and she said its ok. but we both know it is not ok. *sigh* so suggestions are welcome.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Myself and I.

i enjoy my own company a bit too much. a people irritate me a little. i have a very little tolerance for bullshit. and i am the queen of double standards.

I realised, im only friends with someone who already has a friend. or a group of friends. for instance all my close friends arent friends with each other. lol.

its amazing. they have thier own friends, and we are just friends. not best friends or anything like that.

i only belong to one group that we are all close. "my Fly family"

but that isnt the point, the point is that by doing this is have subconciously avoided the drama of many female friends.

so yes i am something like a Genius. when it comes to women, and friends and all that drama.

I am also rather evil. i am not proud of it, but there is a standard which i have st for everyone that speaks to me.
basically to be my friend or speak to me or whatever, you must do it in a way that i like and approve of, if not i wont speak to you.

i know it sounds funny, but its how life has been for a while. till i got a damn job. but all that is going to change soon.

for some reason ive been on a happy juice OD. meaning, i have been overtly happy. for no just cause.

i think i have finally come to accept me for who me is.

i know im done shrinking for anyone to shine. and i am positive there is room at the top for everyone.

and i am done trying to split my self to make anyone happy.

only you can make you happy. well and maybe a bit of champers.

but with nysc ending, im just realising all the growing up i will have to do. to say that excites me will be a lie. but when i get to that bridge, i will cross it.

i am coming into me, my strengths, weaknesses.

i am realising my confidants and my comrades and im learning to treat them as such.

i am cutting off people. i know with such a small circle, who else do i want to cut off again.

i am just living for me.

this wont make any sense to you if you havent reached this point, but when you do, and you become as happy as me. then you'll look back and say ahhhhhhhhh i seee what she was on about.

Monday, August 23, 2010


usually, im a happy bunny, but this Monday Morning its different, and im worried, i cant ascribe this happiness to any thing.
i mean if i list all the reasons i should be unhappy it would be the length of 3rd mainland bridge, but im happy. super excited. i wasnt out all weekend. i jsut realised how expensive my holiday will be. and damn its a monday for chrissake and im still this jolly.

im sure im pissing people off atm, with all my jollyness, but i cant hel it, i feel like santa!!! coupled with the fact that... i am broke! and waht not, im still happy.

i even kinda enjoyed school yesterday, i wasnt floating as much and the lecturer was kinda flirting with me. :) well he asked for the total figure from me.

i even managed to snag a seat at work today. damn im so excited. i'll go to the gym:) today!!

i even had breakfast! i am sooo happy, this is ridiculous!

ok ok ok. im stopping now. but i am super happy today!!!

like seriously *singing* i am HAPPY!!! :)

A very very happy

ps: i saw shrek4. really good movie. now cats and dogs left to see.
pss: NYSC ends very very soon, by 2nd week in sept im going to take my 3 week terminal leave! * excited*
psss: im actually picking up post depression of failing my exams.
pssss: i wish everyone this kind of happiness. surely it must be From God!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

DAMN im pissed.

so i was going to blog about how a friend of mine needs 2 get her shit together and stuff. but i wont because she called me "little Miss Perfect" seeing as i have my shit together.

people, she may have meant to insult me, but as a matter of fact, i do have my shit together. i know how arrogant that may sound, but lets face it. i am pretty much a very big deal. scrap that, i am a fucking huge deal. in my mind off course. i didnt tell her that, i just ended the chat.

her is a friendship that i feel i should have ended a long time agao, and i believe that the time is now.

anyways that isnt why im blogging. let me start by saying. i do not have a problem with muslims or christains. i am an anglican,born, batpized, confirmed and God willing i willget married in an anglican church. but that isnt the point, the point is this. i dont know how 2 insert links or any of that stuff so imma give u a quick run down.

during the muslim service, a christain girl disguised herself as a muslim, went into the mosque and waited till the alfa proceeded to call to pray, then she got up and started scremaing "Jesus is Lord, Allah cannot save you" and the likes.

offcourse she was attacked and badly injured, luckily for her, University security intervened and saved her, now the muslims are protesting, that the girl should be expelled.

i believe, no i strongly believe she should be expelled with immediate effect.i know the general concensus is ahnn that is too harsh, because i told 2 women in my office the same thing and they said i was mean.

please this girl attends MFM, no offense to MFM goers) this is a church where they "physically fight" the air in the name of fighting enenmies. imagine if a muslim waltzed in during the service, sat thru till it was quiet and started screaming about how Allah is God. i dont even wanna think about how they would react on sight of a physical enemy.

how about the Cele people that beat thier members that are posssed? how much more a " supposed enemy"

what she did was a total fanatic move. and it should not be allowed at all. we live in a present Nigeria where religious tensions are high enough as it is, then a final year student makes a move as stupid as this... please kick her out.

off course seeing as we are in Nigeria, they would say "her fathers people" dont want her 2 finish and all the other baseless excuses Nigerians give when somethings happen.

i am a christain, and i strongly believe in the principles of forgiveness, but this is an institution, where you have freedom of expression, freedom of religon, and this is how you choose to mess it up. i sat expel her christain church going ass. WHAT???

because this is a person that has been in the system for 4 years, a law student, "apparently" the best in her class and she pulls a stunt like that?
what if she was killed? then everyone would come down on all the muslims in that school and what not.

i know how we all want to win souls for christ, but i think these new churches need to incorporate a new method of winning souls for christ.

just thinking about it makes me so MAD, maybe its because the school i attended never gave us the chance to express our view, they held those hapharzad "student forums" and that was just for eye service. because they never used to take that shit seriously.

i strongly believe the only way Nigeria can live tension free is if people respect religious boundries. i mean your religion has over 20 different denominations, and there the minority has just one doing thier own jejely and u do shit like that? come on now.

its just wrong, on every single level.

look at it how u want, but i believe she is very lucky to be alive. and she should be expelled.

again im sorry if this post offends you.
actually i not.:P

im still pissed tho.


Monday, August 9, 2010

Lunch time.

random my last 2 lunch experiences have been awesome.
but 1st, i started school this week. i am a very strong person, if i may say so. but going back to school was hard. it was probably the hardest thing i had to do.

i even changed schools and started a month later, thinking it would ease the transition. nope! it didnt. so i went to the lovers' trying to get away from having to go back to school.
lets just say he is with my mother and everyone else on this school issue.

despite the fact that i was crying. he insisted i go. *sigh* and if u see me cry ehn.. waterworks and things!
off course this means that he is now immune to my waterworks show i put on, and i must find another means of convincing him 2 get my way.

moving on, school was terrrible. i have never felt so awkward in my life. MY GOD. i was like the new girl. and in the usual manner of these things, i sharply grabbed a seat, well the 1st empty seat i found. which was close to the front of the class. 2nd row. and i was thanking God that at least i had found a seat.

it wasnt till 30mins later that i realised that i was seated right beside the class ITK. u know that person that has all the answers, and gets every question asked correctly and u just want to throw your biro at him? yes i was seated right beside him. no wonder the seat was empty. *sigh*

im looking forward to a class that i wont be floating so badly tho.

anyways lunch today was somewhat intresting. 3 of myco-workers and i decided to go outta the office and eat. (my office canteen is such a shitty place) and then it hit me.

people actually think of me differnetly.

so 1st my co-worker who invited us, said i looked spoilt. *side eye* i dont think im spoilt tho. i dont think anyone who lives with my mother can possibly be spoilt. my Mother is the poster woman for slavery. like she is a proper slave driver. anyhoos. so we got talking and i said i wanted to push my luch back till 3:30 so i could eat till 4:30 and come back and just leave. which logically makes sense of some sort since i am entitked to an hour of lunch? right?

he said it was gutsy. aka something of guts, how is it that moving my 1 hr of lunch is gutty?? *confused*

i think maybe we are terrorized too much in our organization, like we are spoon fed with fear. and it not just us, its everyone that isnt a manager or partner, waaay too much ass kissing, and pisstaking.

this isnt me complaining though.

after a while he said i was bold and he kinda confirmed it from my friend.

i dont think im bold tho, i just dont like people taking advantage of me. i didnt say that tho, i just smiled and said maybe that is who i am.

so in other news, he saw me as a spoilt diva. little princess that cant take bull shit.

so i decided to give him my blog adress, something i never ever do. he will then read this post and lol.

anyways thank you for lunch, it was filling as it was entertaining. and you we could have spilt the bill you know. :)

anyways he also suggested i have my own show. whatever.

i was also going to tell you lot about the fab fab fab weekend i had.... but this is all im going to say about my weekend.

he said: " suck till it bubbles"

Yours Divalicious...( i know thats not a word)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

yori yori remix

at first i was mad at the bracket boys.

like how do u get tuface in the studio and then you do a remix?? *side eye*

asides the fact that tuface is the best thing Nigeria has produced. in my opinion. (evidence supporting my argument is AFRICAN QUEEN)

anyways so since i have established my obession with tuface. he did not dissapoint me.

only him can take a super smash hit like yori yori and totally kill it. as in we go together like google and searching? :D

*insert chessy smile*

anyways so yori yori was supposed 2 be my dance into reception song, for people that attend Nigerian receptions, you know wats up.

but after listening to this song, my dear future husband will have to bring barcket and tuface to the wedding o.

because nothing else is going to work.

" we go be together forever....nobody go seprate us....


ps: who was "michelle" abi "rochelle" that they did a shout out for in the begining?
i am totally jealous. that is all.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


I love summer, the boys, the girls, the fanta babes, the extra cash, the new clothes our friends coming back will get us. *sigh* I ‎​♥ summer.

So summer?

Well Yes and No.
Well yes its summer and No, I am not going out this summer.
Why u may ask.
Simple the summer crowd is back.

Now let me explain this to you, u know how when we were younger (if u went 2 qc, u'll understand this) you just had 2 travel for summer holiday 2 get a new bag, folder, pencilcase and the likes.

Well the london people have that fever. Every Nigerian that school's outside the country feels the "inexplicable" need 2 come home 4 summer. Forget about easter. Summer is prime.

Not that the economy suffers for it, half of the Nigerians that live in Nigeria actually go 2 all these strange countries as well, so there is sort of like a balance.

Unfortunately for me, I have a Job, which means I have 2 endure summer with the fanta babes.

Fanta babes.
Ladies, You know that one friend we all have that boys like because they have totally zero morals.
Exactly she is a fanta babe. She "shares the fun"
Now imagine 1million other girls like that, without scruples flooding into lagos. *sigh*
*cue music* all the single ladies... You will be very single for a very long time. I'm just complaining on behalf of my single friends that were looking 2 get hooked up this summer. News Flash, the Lagos boys still in lagos are Rooting 4 the fanta babes.

So yes summer brings in these fanta babes.

Why are they so impossible 2 stomach? 1. There's a million of them. And 2. They aren't exactly friends with you. And trust women. Lol.

Now this really isn't my business because I have a job that gets me 2 tired 2 even look past my side miRror. 2 even notice a fanta babe.

But let me tell u my business. You see I ‎​♥ ‎​♥ ‎​♥ lasgidi. I love the energy the power, the vibe the nite life, the traffic. You know all that constitutes Lagos. The people I don't care so much about.

So when I have time 2 go out, I'm super excited. I'm ready 2 let my hair down and have a good time. Like table dancing money spraying good time, this is lagos meeen!

Then u can imagine my irritation when summer comes and OUR clubs are packed with fanta babes.
Not only are they packed with them, they are also underage. Not only are they underage, they are wearing Rags. Not only are they wearing Rags, they spew forth bullshit like this" oh yeah I just came 2 the club 2 chill"

EXCUSE ME!!!! We have seen the facebook pictures of them pouting with their knee length human hair and avatar-esque looking makeup, and wat not, but we like that on facebook, not in lagos.

If you want to chill, I advise you sit at home so that a/c and blow you or better still the deep freezer. I'm sure u'll be very chill when u come out.
And my LORD the picture taking OMG. We just want 2 dance and party hard drink and go home. Not pop bottles splash them around and pose for pictures, you know we actually Drink these drinks here in Lagos. LoL. I know how odd its sounds but yes, we buy drinks and then we drink them. We don't splash them around will posing 4 pictures.

I have gone out, seen like 7 girls who came out to the club to chill, dint dance 4 a min, turned down everyguy that approached them, sat there like pillars of salt and just looked, stared the nite away, oCcasionally gossiping and giggling. Lest I forget, they were drinking water, something about being on a diet.

First. Its a club, why are u having a sex and city moment, I'm sure u can do that at home, 2. This is lagos no 1 is going 2 have ur picture taken! So stop already. 3. If u aren't going 2 dance then why are u taking up space in a club.. This isn't the country club its a flipping nite club.

I haven't been out this summer. But I was out last summer, I had finished university and I had no worries, out 2 have fun, imagine my shock when on my first night out, it was like we were at hell. Full, hot stuffy and people were just standing and looking.
Apparently its Not cool to dance. #kanyeshrug.

And I can bet a large number of the girls there hadn't even hit puberty. So parents what is ur 15 year old daughter looking for at a night club???

*sigh* I'm tired already but you get my point. Last week I was itching 2 go out, hang with my peoples and thingsss. Till after calling about 4 of my babes it occured 2 us. Its summer. We can't go anywhere. Lagos is flooded, and face it we are old cargo. Lol. We are the Naira spending people that club owners forget keep their clubs running all year round. I mean in March or April, I can actually hit the club and have a good time, not 2 full, just regular, you know... Lagos style.

But people summer is here and we must must accomodate the inflow of immigrants.

2 further buttress my point I went 2 see a movie yday. The cinema was full. AND I could spot the london people, in their tiny shorts and vests. Outrageous big hair and wat not. Actually u can spot them anywhere u go, just look out 4 the boy in bright blue skinny jeans and a red shirt with a yellow beanie or sthg close to that.
For the ladies. Look for hair, plenty of it. Make up. And always always always they are inappropriately dressed. None the less, we love the fanta babes, how else would the Naija based fanta babes stop hounding our men. Yes the jand and yankee ones would be in demand, and we all know that is a huge upgrade, from a uni-lag ho.

No BS tho. I love love love summer. And Don't even get me started on christmas.

Summer is her people.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I am a princess. And I will always act accordingly.
I have always believed that it is how you treat yourself that people treat you.

I also strongly believe that your past relations with people always have a way of haunting you. *sigh*

In other news I am truly thankful.

For everything God has done for me. I do not deserve it, but he has been faithful.

See when I failed my exams. ( Yes I failed a paper, and I can say it out loud without bursting into tears) so when I did I was Mad at everybody.

And I was Livid, Pissed off Depressed. Basically insert any very sad esteem reducing word here. That was how I felt. Like I had worked so hard and not seen results.

The monday after I got my result, I spent an hour maybe 2 sef crying in the bathroom at work.

I already mentioned how depressed I was. For many reasons.

1. I really wanted 2 pass my exams and 2 I really wanted to make my Mum super Proud.

But I didn't. And like pain it passes. Slowly but surely.

Next week I resume school again so look out for rants and the likes.

I gueSs being away from lagos just makes me realise how good I have it.

I mean I don't have to wake up and work and earn say 30k and have to go back to look after my family with that.

Yes I have lived a sheltered life but still there is so much to be thankful for.

Needless to say, I don't blame God anymore. Because let's face it, if its his fault I failed this one, its also him that made me pass all the other 7. No?

Well I'm going home to daddy. I'm tired of fighting.

And Happy birthday Harira. I love you lots. And sorry I didn't call. *sigh*

Offcourse u can tell I'm home sick by this post.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Outta town stuvinz.

So yes I have been MIA. I have braids, and I'm at ogbomosho. Yes I know, the Diva is in the bush.

Don't bother your pretty little heads, there is no resort here. So no I am not here with the lover. Although last week while I was at osogbo I had d honeymoon suite.
Judge me all u want, but I am a Princess and wat I want I get.

I have suffered people. Suffered. The last week I had a suite to myself, with nobody, and no alcohol. U know the other day I ran into another girls hotel room and found a HUGE dildo. A HUGE PURPLE RABBIT.( Btw I hurd this is a super popular color 4 dildos) And I was judging her. Trust me I had abused her tire. Until I got stuck in the middle of no where. People it is true don't judge some1 till u walk a mile in their shoes. Ahn ahn.

So I came home 4 d weekend. So I don't need the dildo.

But this is the glamorous life I tell you. All of you in lagos think u are living. U lot are suffering WHAT???

I wake up in the morning and I get a phonecall asking how my night went. Then I have an amoured car to take me to work. Did I mention that I arise at 7:15 and still manage 2 get to work by 8am. Yes no traffic people. Cheap Food. And what not. U ppl think u are enjoying in that over crowded city. Here if rain falls, the water drains away instanta, like life here is so quiet. And peaceful and I am treated like a queen. When I get 2 the hotel, I have some1 2 carry my bag.

And I know no one in lagos lives that life so just stop.

It was my home girl Eneni's bday on sunday. Baby I'm sorry I missed it. Blame growing up and having a job. Gosh I need a holiday and soon.

Anyways this week I'm at Ogbomosho. And I didn't work today due 2 robbery scares. I am not pleased I want to leave here by friday Fun soccer turf blah blah is on saturday and I Need to register for school.

This girl is not happy. *sigh*

A very bored Pussy Kat.x

Ps I remembered and brought along a bottle of Red. And No I'm yet to own a dildo. However feel free 2 gimme one. I shall put up a link soonest. That I found one day at one place.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


this weekend was full of new experiences.

this weekend i have a new found respect for mothers, and huge disdain for people with badly behaved kids.

please dont hesitate to bring out the rod if u notice u are breeding a little monster, it is me that suffers for all this.

im sure u are wondering that m goin on about, let me tell you.

so this weekend, i was getting all prepped up for a weekend get away. i even cancelled my hair appointment and stuff. only for my mother to tell me that my cousins were coming for the weekend.

now its just my mum and i at home. my brother just got back but who is going to look after these kids.? so i asked her, i mean when in doubt ask right?


so i asked her oo.. thats how she turned it to vex, that cant she ask me a simple favour. and blah blah blah. i know all this is just her way of punishing me for no grandkids.

anyways so thats how i went to pick 2 of my cousins. and unknown to me my mum invited another 4. so i had 6 kids to look after.

if u know me personally, you will know i am a lazy person.

*in frauline marian voice* so 6 kids whats the big deal about that???

apparently there is a huge deal. children in the age range of 3-13 are possessed. by something called childhood. plus i believe this particular set were dropped on live wires as kids. ahn ahn. talk about hyper active kids.

they were everywhere, even after the piriton syrup i gave them...they even got more hyper, i was like ahn ahn.

my mother now asked ( more like ordered) me to take them out. i asked around and it was either fantasy land, fun factory or toy story 3.

we opted for the movie. even just to get them dressed was so fucking hard. like would kids die if they just sat in one place??

so thats how i carried my 2 klegs and 6 kids ALONE. to the palms. the youngest one couldnt walk so i had 2 back her. yes put her on my back. *sigh* lets just say all my babe sha finished that day.

and in the usual manner of things, i managed to lose one kid, and for an hour i was looking around for him. i was so pissed off. so i called his dad to ask for his number and that one didnt even answer me. hiss.

5 hours after i got home he called me and started screaming that if i found the boy why didnt i tell him. and in my mind im like how about you train your kid to do as he is told?? hissss

anyways after that experience,i concluded that maybe adoption may not be so bad at all. and the kids will be at least 7.yes forget all those Nigerian movies that they potray adopted kids as witches. abeg abeg ahn ahn. i felt myself age.

anyhoos after all that the next day i attended a new church. that held at a bar. yes a bar. i was skeptical was one of those new generation churches that had no dress code. one that everyone there was probably out the night before. you know one of those ones that the indian hair and LV bag sightings were more than i'd see on a club hopping night. and no im not being judgemental. the sermon was brief, it didnt really fell like a church, forever ive been an anglican and i have come to equate church with hymn's and a lot of fan fare. stripping it of that and making it a hangout, i dont know if it sits well with me sha.

the sermon was brief and they served lunch after. but i heared a comment that irked the fuck out of me. we were talking about sexual harrasment, and he said and i quote " what about those that dress provcatively, you sow a seed and it will come back to bite you"

and im thinking is this fucking retard trying to justify the acts of men that force thier younger female coworkers to have sex with them by what the women wear.

i think its also just the need to be controverisal that made him say such a stupid thing. i know women that have had 3 kids and are by no means crisp and have thier bosses trying to have sex with them.

i went to Qc and there were cases of girls that teachers harrased, our uniforms were the most hideous thing and there were men that still tried to harras them.

and then someone else got up and butressed the point and im like " you must be fucking kidding me" someone that is supposed 2 be spirit filled is saying this.. what happned to if ur right eye forces you to sin pluck it out?? abeg abeg. right now i dunt know if i want to go back to that church, but i know for certain that a lot of people have this whole christainity thing very twisted.

i had other new expirences i'd rather not share but yes my weekend was eventful. there are other matters i wanna touch on, but men this post is long enough already as it is. i think? :)
so *raises glass* to new experiences *sips* may they get a lot better.

Ps. pray for me,my tonsils dont want me to swallow. :(

Thursday, July 8, 2010


yes i am pissed off and tired of men.

now today i needed 2 buy a drug urgently so i decided to "walk" and find a pharmacy.

unknown to me that d nearest pharmacy was in wonderland. any ways today rain didnt fall, instead the sun decide to shine with a vengance, needless to say i was sweating like a pig.

so i walk into the shop and im trying to describe the drug to the sales girl when someone walks in behind me.

i am already irritated by the cannan journey and the dim sales girl that is insistent on being slow, only for this "retard" to say hi.

i turn around and say hi. and continue trying 2 explain what i need 2 d sales girl.

the retard then tapped me. like what is wrong with you as you can see im sweaty and shit and u decide 2 tap me. why?? am i owing you money????

anyhoos i said yes can i help you?? this is what this fool said" i just saw u outside and decided to come in and say hi. so i replied " you have said hi" and continued with my battle to try and describe what i need in my limited medical knowledge in my terrible Yoruba.

the retard then taps me agin.

come on guys im sure by now u could have seen i wasnt intrested and left me alone. instead this olodo now said "why are u answering me with a nasty attitude?"

if i didnt restrain myself i would have spat in his face, ( yes i am divalicious like that)

i mean i am clearly not in the mood. so i asked him " what do u want?"

he said i wanted 2 say hi... me exasperated" but you have already said hi now, what else do you want?"

and thats how this stupid fool started ranting that he just saw me and wanted to say hi and that i used 2 work at his former place of work and blah blah blah..

and im like huh?? i just hissed and faced the girl 2 continue my drama and thats how the retard walked out.

the sales girl now thot it nice 2 say" aunty dont mind them thats how they used to behave, trying to use style to tast girls"

thank you captain obvious.

now men explain to me how i worked in the firm u worked at for 3 months last year. i quit in sept, got something else and ive been here since december last year. and i am supposed to be glad to see you.

i do not fucking know you, and quite honestly i dont know how u remembered me, because all the while i was at my former place i did not even know you exsisted.

so you saying you used 2 work with me as a leverage for trying to toast me is totally stupid. seriously not only is it stupid you are going to end up looking stupid.

did i mention that all the while i worked there i never saw thisretard or even in passing. so what was wrong with him.

i get that men are not smiling and all that its 2010 but please please i take God beg you carry you non-smiling face to someone that gives a rat ass ok. i am not that some one.

by the way i am really good with faces and i didnt recognize him so i knew the fucktard was lying. ui think that is what put me off the most. hissssssss.

ok and what is it with twitter becoming a platform for subliminal messages?? like i totally do not get it, but im sure if i had a case 2 pick with someone i'll make it very clear. i wont go around talking smack abi tweeting smack. then these same people will go there insult thier mothers there and be chanting "twitter is not that serious" it obviously is to you #ho"sitdown

and all those shitty disclaimers, are just too stupid. gosh.

a very wound up


and yes yesterday was fantabulous!!!! thank you AIC. shout out to all my friends that just got in.. im sorry im missing out friday night. lol. have fun for us all.

by the way i miss womilee.:(

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Half year report card.

so ive never done this before but honestly its easier to take stock half way through than at the end then end up feeling depressed. so here is how the 1st half of the year has gone.

ahhh the earlier months were good, but right now baba God and i arent exactly on speaking terms, we had a deal and he kinda let me down. so yes im still mad at him. but im still gratful for all the stuff he does for me. looking back on how far my familia and i have come, i tellyou its only God that coulld have brought us this far. i mean if i had 2 say all the things im thankfulfor, it will be plenty o. i have also started attending the 7:30AM service at church. yes im trying to make amends for all the months of church i missed.

school should not even still be on that title. but yeah it still features o. *sigh* i honestly thought i'd be done by now. i guess God has a reason 4 everything. work is bleh. has been in the last month, but i have owrked 3 different jobs the 1st half of the year and i loved it!!!! like wow i think i learnt so much and it helped in my exams. so i guess i have something 2 be grateful for. personally im still confused about my career path. i mean i am an accountant, and that means i can work anywhere, because u see every corproration needs to count the money they make and ish so there would always be space in every industry, and i think i have too many options. altho im looking at the oil industry now. hopefully i would be able to swing that. but i think i did well career wise i mean no queries and ish :)

ahhhhh ma familia. love love love my mummy. and my brother. my sister not so much. i think im slowly being able 2 grasp the idea that family members must not be friends. besides the bible says there is a frined that sticks closer than a brother. plus honestly i cant be bothered anymore. so yes whatever she does is fine. except moving back home. anyways my baby brothers rship is so amazing like its at an all time high. the mother is amazing i cant have imagined a better mum. so yes that about it .

yes yours truly is off the market and is a one man woman. and has been this way in the last 6 months. late ;last year i had 2 make a choice and i think i made the right choice. yes the other option looks one kain right now. but im happy. very happy. i have someone my best friend, who looks after me asides my mum, in everyway you can think off. i have also learnt to keep our issues to ourselves, in a way it has made us stronger. im in such a happy place. i wish this for all my friends and enemies. i tell you, once u get 2 this place where i am at. you will never settle,:).

Wow. im everyones friend. or at least i was last year. this year i have handpicked who i want to roll with. i mean i dont have a problem being friends with everyone, but i just wanted to find me. sans the friends. and i have, i have been able 2 weed out the people i dont want and preserve those i want too. i dont think i have 2 name names but if u are my friend, im sure u'll know.:) thank you all for putting up with my excesses.

i have been majorly broke this year. WHAT??? i miss uni. gosh wen i was in school i could buy a new book everyweek and my mum wont raise an eyebrow. hmnnn finishing school is a whole differnt ball game entirely. definately serious lifestyle changes. and i have been able to adapt quite nicely. ive saved up a nice sum, and i have taken to lending people money. im considering a nice business deal but im too skeptical and there is no way i am going to put my hard earned money where i have doubts. i want to buy my ticket to spain this year so im really excited about that. and maybe i'll be able to hit that target.i can confidently say i am slowly approaching miss independent status. i mean the last half year i think i paid for gettting my hair done myself. lol. ok thats random but yea, it does feel good to see that i can do stuff for myself. but i still miss pocket money from Uni. damn!

they are too many to list, i am mean. but i am also ridculously nice.
i am ridiculously stubborn. like once my mind is made up it is made up.
i love to argue. and win arguements.
i am rather self obsessed.
i do not believe in 2nd chances.
my mouth is sharp!!!! damn i can cut someone 2 peices and not feel bad.
i think thats it about me.
im too hard on my self.

My skin is clearer, my body more booty-licious, my attitude much better, my relationship with my lovers mother is great. i give my self a B+. because i should have taken off the school in my life. i drive now. people say i am a typical lagos driver. and ive become a tad bit more considerate. i really hope i'll be able to make an A+ end of the year, but these are my expections for the end of the year:

fix my rship with God.
buy my ticket.
attend a wedding with the Lover.
buy my mum a new wallet.
buy 20 new books. ok maybe 10.
do real dreads.
finish with school.
apply to masters school.
make at least 2 new friends. male or female.

so at the end of the year if i could do all that then i'll def give myself an A+

so how did the 1st have of 2010 go for you??

a very expectation filled

Monday, July 5, 2010


if there is anything i have learnt its that friends are rather somehow.

i have this friend that i would have told her anything like any problem i had but now i dont think i can tell anyone asides my mum any of my problems. or the lover.

what ive noticed is that i feel better shring with either him or my mum, the friends.. not so much because i know they all have thier opinons and are sooo quick to judge. they arent bad people, they just dont know thier stand, and maybe its my fault, i havent been clear on that. whatever.

as i blog this i am trying to buy a ticket to benin city. im thinking of flying, although going by road wont be such a bad idea.

ive noticed i get unresonably irritated when people help themselves to my property without asking. like that shit just ticks me off, i also have the disorder of wanting to meet stuff where i leave it. as it turns out my sister has the talent of taking my property. like just stuffing it into her suitcase and fleeing to abuja, now i wont mind if she took 1 or 2 items, but not all my freaking clothing items.

i think he case is uber special because she earns twice my salary plusthe allowance from the mother and she is always present when im buying but she doesnt want.

the mother is tired of seprating fights and has told her to steer clear from my property anyways the mother gave me a padlock the other day. to padlock my suitcase.

what irks me the most is that other house guests we have see whats going on and thend decide to help them selves to my stuff too. totally irritating.

i think what irritates me above all this is the fact she has no remorse. like wtfh?? how do u steal from me and act like i do the same to you.
personally i am unable 2 take things from people, like i hate it, if i have to then i'll return it.

the bible says do unto others what u want them 2 do unto you so how is it that people are unreasonably lightfigered with my property.

suffice to say, my sister and i are not friends. sadly i have just 1 sister. i dont hate her, i just wish she'd stay away from home more. that way mummy and i wont have that much to worry about?

i wonder if i am being unresonable, i mean familis are supposed to share but when that sharing becomes stealing what next, like i hit the gym on friday and wen i got back home i found my bad emptied. like all the contents of my bag were on the floor in my room. now i wont have minded if she asked and i said no and she took it, i mean at least then i'll know where the bag is, but she helped herself to money in my wallet as well as my bag.

for a split second i freaked out because we had people working in the house and i thought they stole the bag and i was already marching to scream that if i dont see the bag all hell will break loose when pow!!! it hit me that my madam has taken it. i asked her if she took it and she didnt respond.

yes i dont approve of her money habits and her choice in men and what not and all this i have no right to complain about so i dont. but what i have a problem with is her pilfering my property. not only does it disgust me, but it gives me the leverage to talk smack to her and i cant for the life of me respect some1 who steals from me.

now having such a person as family has taught me a very invaulable lesson, which balls down to what this post really is about, friends.

i have no difficult friends. u see its bad enough i have 2 live with someone as tempramental that is somewhat complusory so i am very selective about my friends, if u pilfer, lie or behave funny u'll notice i wont be able to stand you and i dont give you my time 2 waste.

so i guess i have 2 thank my sister for that, she helped me set my standard in choosing my friends. suffice to say a big shout out to my home girls that hit d clubs with me on friday and chilled with me on saturday :) love u girlies lots.

and whats an appropriate 2nd bday pressie to give ones lover??

a Rather confused

Friday, June 25, 2010


whenever i hear people say i feel so different, i always want to ask, are any two people alike?

im very different from every one else i know, and ive come to accept me like that, and everyone else accepts me that way too. i think i owe that to Queeens College.

you see, in primary school, i was painfully shy, i was differnet, my parents were seprated, my mother used to work full time, so my grand ma used 2 attend my open days and all that, i never bought any off those things they sokd during open days, i didnt participate in any exta expensive curicular activity.

in a way, i still have that mentality, about neccesity.

anyways on getting to Qc it was a differnt ball game. i made friends, found christ, lost him, found him again, lost a boyfriend, was betrayed and what not. but im ever thankful, you see Qc gave me the ability to be comfotable in my own skin and celebrate my difference.

i had terrible terrible terrible pimples when i was in Qc, and i cried and cried, until one day i just stopped. i realised that my friends didnt think i was ugly, some girl (Anthonia she was in V) thought i was the prettiest girl in my set. WOW.

i dont know how to explain it, but when u see a Qc girl you see what im talking about,the word isnt swag, i cant find th word to describe what it is about every Qc girl but its there.

i know a Qc girl when i see one, for one she always has friends she made from there. honestly speaking if i lost all my friends from uni i may not be bothered, but before i let go of a Qc friend, wow. i dont even think i can do that.

odd thing is that everyone recognizes it too, that qc factor. they see me and say, oh u went to Qc abi? No wonder.

no one is going to come out and tell me how much they admire the fact that i can stand up for myself, or the fact that i am so confident enough to do me or whatever, but i dont need anyone to tell me that, i got all that from Qc.

i really cant explain this, but my daughters are most def attending qc, even if its just 4 the 1st three years. dear future husband... take note.

i just had 2 put that out there. my friend from Qc's sister is getting married. yayyy!!!
its 1:35 am, i should be in bed, the mother is having another party again, 2mao. and yours truly is dress-less.

dear tailor, abeg sew my cloth before 2mao ooooooo abi today?

and womilee is now on twitter, gosh some people are just groupies sha.

and am i the only one that thinks its super funny when i see people are no longer in a relationship on facebook?

i know i cant be the only one. anyways if i am.. hahahahahahahah i think its so funny, how stupid can you get.

and i just realised how fleeting life is. the Lover fell sick on tue and is still sick.
now this may not be such a biggie, but this is someone ive known for almost 4 years and he has never been sick, not to talk of bed ridden sick. ish is scary as hell. he keeps taunting me, with death, i am scared.

i would never tell him im scared, but i am. very scared. i pray nothing happens to him. i hope he gets better soon. i really am not having fun being the mature one. i love being spoilt, and him being sick means i wont get spoilt, which means i would be grouchy, which alos means.. whatever but you sha get the chain reaction.

in totally unrelated news, all my life i have been skinny. like super skinny, now im huge. but dont get it twisted, i LOVE IT!!!! my behind is like a size 12. fabuluex.

so since im finally coming 2 terms with my body, i decide to tone, u know use the gym, not get any extra weight on and stuff. thats how i carried my 2 k legs to d gym.

apparently to lose tummy fat you must lose overall body weight. *gasps*
*waving* bye size 12 behind, it was fun while i owned you.

i still have a cute tooshie tho. at least thats what i have been told.

so bottomline is love yourself, no matter how diagonally parked u feel in a parallel world, there is only one you. so fuck everyone else and live your life jare.

ok quick before i round up, i just saw "baby boy" with tyrese and taraji 4 d 1st time ever. judge me all u want. ehn i know i am late. but that movie is AMAZIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG?!!!! i just thought i should share that oh so important peice of information.

and drat this damn weave, i cant enter rain and dance, i need hair net and shower cap and tinz and d lovers.:( this is not gonna werk.

a very self-absorbed

Thursday, June 24, 2010

na wa.

this is not a rant, i promise.

so why is it that men have been chasing me left right and center of late. make that chasing, fervently pursuing. ahn ahn im not the only girl in lagos, neither am i single. apparently thats all i need.

contrary to popular belief, i wont ever call myself pretty, thats for all the boys and girls that think so . so why the hell are all these boys hunting me down.

and tossing the M word around?

listen ( i know u dont read this blog thats why im even purging on it)

anyhoos i do not want to marry you.

i cant speak any other language so this is me making it as clear as possible. no i do not want to marry you.

i know u are wondering what this is about so lemmie make this clear.

last nite in my state of boredorm, i logged on to facebook. ehn ooo i know i was bored. so that is how i met Zer online.

now i have been avoiding his calls and not replying his messages and what not and all that. so he saw me online and "hola'ed"

in order no 2 be rude i replied. actually because i didnt know if the chat was like bbm thts shows d and r so thats y i honestly reponded.

anyhoos the convo went sthg like this.

Z: hey boo
P: wats up?
Z: baby, where u been at? been calling you and it keeps saying ur phone is off and i messaged u on fbook.
P: err yes my phone is bad, and i dont wanna fix it because i wanna get the iphone.
(if u wanna throw a boy away fastttt, tell him u want to buy sthg)
Z:oh ok, what about the message.
P: my BB service went off so i avent been able 2 access it.
z:oh shit!
P:oh shit what??
Z: ur phone. thats off.
P: oh ok..
Z: when am i gonna see you? i cant wait to hold you. come spend the night on friday night
p:huh?? where?
Z: in my house?
( i dont think he realised i was being sarcastic when i asked where)
P: oh im gonna be working saturday.
Z: oh thats not a problem, you can leave from here. i really miss you.

(now, i never bother telling any of my toasters that i have a man, that just seems to fuel thier persistence, i'd rather just be too busy to hang) but this but getting outta i pulled that card.

P: oh you know, i dont think my man would like that at alls.
Z:oh i got you something.
* he totally ignored that statement*
P: what ?
Z: a purse.
P: what kind of purse?
Z: ok lemmie confess i wanna propose to you.
( like dude...seriously?? get the fuck off here)
P:so u didnt buy me a purse?
z: i brought you something even more special.
Z: the ring my dad gave my mom.
( at this point i had had enough of thise madness)
P: ok so ive got work 2moro i need to sleep. good night.
and i viciouslu slammed my laptop shut.

like what the fucking hell is up with that?. the other day i ran into someone who knew Zer's cousin, she recognized me because apparently he has been telling her all about me. turns out he told her we are engaged.

and this people, is how you find your self off the market without even knowing it.

it is 2010 indeed and boys are not smiling.

but seriously who the fuck does shit like that? goes around telling people that we are engaged?? like seriously? delusional Much????

sad. really sad.

not withstanding i have other problems. well not problems per say, more like set backs.

well now im sure i wont get an 8 week holiday this year.
* waving* bye vacation.

im also sure i would be spending my birthday athome studying
*waving* bye table dancing with the girls.

i also wont be visiting fregene as a surprise in paris this year.
*waving* damn and that would have been uber super duper cute.

i mean i could go on and on being sad, but im thankful, in a way, i havent figured out the way im thankful yet, but i guess i am thankful.

damn i envy all the batch B corpers. although i heard from next month, our allownace would be increased from N9,750 and that is per month to N20,000. hopefully.

ive taken out my dreads, and i think i wanna get a weave. speaking of weaves.

you know what. im not even gonna rant about this, surely i have put that incident behind me. (someone tried to get me 2 buy hair and said only the most stupid things that pissed me the fuck off)

on second thought, maybe i should. you know what i will.

why doesnt anyone believe when i tell them, i cannot afford stuff. why do they hear " i dont wanna buy?"

asides the fact that i am very money concious, i hate to ask people for money, like my mum or the Man or an uncle or aunt, if i could i wont be living at home. damn i have a job. so i have priorities and sadly these priorites do not include human hair that costs N70,000.

yes people actually buy hair at that price, now im not saying its wrong, i mean if u are all for starving to have someone elses hair on your head why not. but im not. since i respect your life style choices, why wont you respect mine??

ehn.. imagine this girl asking mt to ask my mother for money to buy hair?????

i dont know about you but its fucking absurd.
you know contary to what u may have heard about me or my mother, it isnt true, there is no tree in my compound that we pluck N1000 notes from daily.

there really isnt. now im not going to come here and say i dont like the hair, i mean its cute dont get me wrong, but i cannot afford it.

do you want me to list the opportunity cost of N70000 in a month for you??

so said sales girl said i shu=ould ask my SO. now thats just wrong so i said i cant ask him.

and she said and i quote" why didnt you use your persuasion,?"

i really dont understand human beings. i should persuade somebody else to give me N70000 to buy hair that really isnt that important to me???

did i miss something growing up??

so why are people acting like im mad because i ahve refused to shell outN70,000 of my savings to buy hair.

im sorry but its not just me. i felt so insulted. and i ahvent spoken to said friend since. im probably not going to say anything, but if she should upset me again, im defeinatley going to call her out, because yours truly is not looking for friends that are liablites.

so ok i ranted. big deal, sue me.

a very pissed off.

ps: if u have a problem with me, odds are you have my number, call me, dont run off and report me to a mutual friend, that is all kinds of low. and its shit like that, that makes me not want to talk to you anymore. hisssssssssssssssssssssss

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

why men cheat.

See before I had up a post about why women cheat and asked eneni 2 blog about it. She did.

So yday I decided 2 find out why men cheat... And who better to ask than a cheat himself Womilee. At first he was being difficult... But after using my persuasion... I got him to spill. Ladies listen up.

So men like average women No?

Or do men like high maintaince?

When would men get married?

Why do men date women 4 nine yrs then marry the one of 3months?

Why do men steal from women?

Why do men cheat?

Why do men sleep with their SO's sisters, mothers and bestfriends.

Why do men lie 2 get coochie.

Why do men sleep with women then run off?

Why do men...

Let's face it, I could go on 4ver and ever asking why do men questions. But since I'm an actor Not a reactor AND am a solution provider. What better way to find out about this than 2 find a man who I know for a fact has committed 80% of said acts in the questions above. Ladies and gentle. Scratch that, men are not gentle. Sha ladies and men that read this blog, I present to you, Womilee.

Not exactly a flattering introduction, is it gentlefolk? In my defence, I have not committed 80% of the afformentioned sins... I'm at a healthy, gentlemanly 75%. And so are you all.
The saying is 'Men lie, Women lie, Numbers don't'. So you there, you shaking your head at my admission of sin, you tut-tutting at my acceptance of infidelity, unless you were somehow brought to this earth as a figure or a numerical digit and through some miraculous cosmetic surgery, have been converted into a female, but still remain a number at heart, you dear lady have lied and cheated too.
The reason men cheat is the same reason women cheat...cos we can. Yes, men usually go out with a mind-set of being unfaithful, while women claim there was no premeditation involved in their infidelities, does this make it any less wrong. A man is caught cheating he goes "baby, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, blah". A woman's caught cheating she goes "it was an accident. It wasn't my fault!". There's a song by Eminem and Dr Dre, Guilty Conscience. A line in it goes "what you slipped, fell and landed on his dick?!!!"
I've cheated, you've cheated. Simple. Sometimes we know why, most times its cos we're just horny. Dammit, no matter how much you love pizza, you still eat the occasional burger don't you?! Its not a good excuse, but fuck it, its the only one I have.
I've cheated on my girlfirends and with other people's girlfirends. To be honest, I'm proud in some cases, not so proud in others. But I always come clean when I'm caught. I don't claim spiritual possession or temporary insanity or amnesia. I simply say "baby, I'm sorry". At that point, it is up to you to decide whether to knock my front teeth out or not. Cos you better believe, bitch, ill knock yours out if you so much as like another man's haircut.
I am Womilee, numbers don't lie.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


if i have to descibe my mother in any word, i'd use diva.

my mother is a true diva in the sense of the word, she has so much style and class and doesnt live above her means.

i havent always been the easiest child to deal with, plus i have 2 other siblings, but she has been there through everything.

she was so a diva she didnt beat us when we did something wrong. she delegated that duty to the security men of the estate we lived in. at odd hours of the mornini know how odd it sounds, but she couldnt bring her self to beat her kids, but thye had 2 be beaten. see pure Diva .

she has no friends in the workplace, she doesnt need them, she says mixing business with friendship, creates to much grey for her liking. like a true diva she wants every thing her way, black or white.

she is honest, hardworking and the proper example of Miss independent.

she has her own and she isnt afraid to share it. she knows its never gonna finish, because there is more where it came from. there would always be more.

she is God fearing, and walks uppright in his ways.

she isnt easy to love.. but lets face it. is any diva easy too? she cahrms you with her person. looking back, i dont think anyone in this life could loveme more.

and i dont think there is anyone on earth, that i love, respect and cherish more than her.
i dont know about you but i have the best mother in the world, and i thank God everyday for her in my life.

she vexes me, sometimes, but mostimes she makes me so happy its incredible.

all my people skills i have received from her.

she has taught me to look after myself.

mother dearest. happy birthday. i wish you all the best that life has to offer.

im also sorry on ife and my behalf that we have no grand child to offeer you on this landmark. also that we have no son-in-law for your picture.

but if its any consolation, december is still far. something may just come up.

thank you and God bless you in excess.
i cant thank you enough. i cant love you enough. and i know i wont be able to repay you, thats why i wouldnt bother, but i want you to know that i love you with every fibre of my being. i cant have asked for a better mother. i love you. very plenty.

how do i kill my boss??

And no not my darling AIC who just got back from leave,or my manager who gave me work like it was going outta fashion. BUT.

my employers, the firm as an entity. i hate it. well hate is such a strong word, i detest it. because i am dormant. honest. i can feel myself wasting away. i feel like that aregentine goal keeper during that game with Nigeria. Bored.

and i am restless so being bored kills me. slowly BUT surely.

anyways yesterday i witnessed woman hate on hate on viciously. and i think i know why.
so my co-worker and i were leaving at 4:58pm when closing time is by 5:00. i know you are thinking why not wait till 5pm. i mean you are almost there. well i was bored outta my mind.

then a co-worker accosted me. male. the convo went sthg like this.

CoW: so where are you going?
P: Home.
CoW: but its just 4:57. *shows me his phone*
P: by my time its 4:59.* show him my watch AND phone*
he says ok. shrugs and lets me off the hook.

please realise that CoW= co-worker. altho cow has a nice ring to it.

two steps later.
female voice: where DO you think you are going?
turns around and sees an actual cow.
cow: is it 5 yet?, is that what ur time is saying? what time did you come to work today? did you come by 8am?
P: yes it is 5pm by my watch. what does your own time say?
cow: you ARE very stupid.
P: blank stare.
cow: blah blah blah can go.
i walked out.

the real cow is a woman. notice how different the man handled the situation?? although it could be coupled with the fact that 2hours earlier the man leaNED into me to tell me im very sexy.

i have no idea what upset the cow, maybe she was on her period, maybe she was PMS-ing. i dunno, i dont care, what i know is that, she shouldnt have stated that i was stupid. maybe she should have asked. that way i would have replied her no im not stupid, then she would have reason to be mad.

this is the culture of my workplace.

putting this out of my mind, i get to my car and i see a livid. WTH???? so i dont even qualify for parking security, despite the fact that i dropped my car keys down stairs?????

i made a mental note to scream at the security man. ( women like me, have the special gift of storing anger over night.. it may not be healthy but its effective in managing problems like this)

so i hit the gym and blah blah blah.

today i came to work early by 8:10, and i wasnt mad, its my mothers birthday and somehow i didnt store the was a really happy moment at home, it would take a really Mad Angry Black woman to keep anger thru a birthday. anyways so i casually ask the security man,
P: ehn oga abeg o, una no dey look my car?
SM: ahn aunty when u parking outside, there isnt security to look your car.
** notice how i spoke pidgin to him, and he replied in bastard english**
P: wait oo. so nobody dey look my car because i park for outside?
SM: aunty na so the office talk.
** when i get mad, i enter full english, with phonee sef**
P: so mean to tell me that because i am not parked inside the building, no one will watch my car??
*walks off* more like stormed off, but the strain in my right knee from the gym last night, made it i limped off

so i asked another security man and lo and behold he wasnt joking. my office that doesnt present the option of a staff buss for its staff wont look after the cars that are parked outside the building. even though the parking lot that the office provides can barely cater to a third of the number of staff that actually have cars and drive them to work.

now you maybe thinking, i expect too much from my employers and rightfully so. i have worked at about 5 different places ( all different industries)and this is the 1st im seeing with this little regard for thier employees. its disgusting.

but because the economy is bad, and what not we are forced to deal with these smelly working conditions.

now i could have mouthed off at the cow, BUT, i'll tell you what stopped me.
NOT the fact that i cant be fired: because i am a corper.
NOT the fact that she was older than me: because face it, dat has nothing to do with the issue at hand, if you are old and you fuck up it can be treated.
NOT because it really wasnt her business and the other man had already let us go

but because i felt sorry for her.
her life is probably shit, she probably isnt married and is waiting on the world and is miserable and is stuck at a rot in her life.blah blah blah.. and just needed 2 hate a little.

she could be married to a womanizer whose new latest mistress looked just like me. long legs and all. tres sexy.

she could just have been throwing her weight around,trying to clip the wings of two corpers, who were tried of doing nothing. ie, being a bitch.

but i just looked at her. slapping her in my mind over and over and over till i heard you can go .

ladies and men. ( no man is gentle) the mind is such a poweful thing use it.

and seeing as i didnt react, i felt stronger, more powerful than her.

it seems that there could be some truth in the statement afterall" silence is the best answer for a fool"

i still maintain that she shouldnt have insulted me. but since she did, that is her cross to bear, not mine.

but really my working conditions are terrible and i AM grateful to have a job, dont get me wrong. i am just not gratful about how i am being treated. and no im not going to complain. beacuse around here, things are not done that way.

**double sigh**
and to think i was happy coming to work here.

A very Upset

Emails at 1am

This week the love of my life Uloh was in town. Sooo we went out eating drinking running and just generally doing nuisancey shit around tow...