Friday, September 28, 2012

Two sides to every coin.

Learn from your defeats.

Disappointment and failure build character and patience, when allowed to do so. They can teach you to win and lose with grace, an increasingly lost art these days. Romans 5:3-4 says it like this: "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character . . . " Inner spiritual strength, the kind resulting from sincere faith in God, helps cultivate that attitude.

Culled from

Monday, September 24, 2012

Random culture shock and sex

"Prostitution in and of itself is an abuse of a woman's body. Those of us who say this are accused of being simple-minded. But prostitution is very simple. (…) In prostitution, no woman stays whole. It is impossible to use a human body in the way women's bodies are used in prostitution and to have a whole human being at the end of it, or in the middle of it, or close to the beginning of it. It's impossible. And no woman gets whole again later, after.”
- Andrea Dworkin

Today I got teary eyed when asked why I do not speak Yoruba.
Its so simple that I live with my mother, who I have lived with alone as an only parent for almost 15 years does not speak Yoruba.
She speaks Isoko which we speak along with pidgin at home.

But I think what really threw me off, was the suggestion that the person who asked me wanted to get me a Yoruba lesson teacher. I can stand the sarcasm and caustic remarks. But the kindness is strange and not necessarily unwelcome. It is just strange.
I can not wait to get married to my Non Yoruba husband and drop my Yoruba 1st name for my Isoko Middle name. Infact Maybe I should have people call me that.

But the strain of correcting people every single time on the proper pronunciation. 
I am finally applying to ICAN for my membership, I have been faffing for almost 3 years now.
It is about damn time.
The quote above is something I need every woman needs to carry around. You can run up mileage on your pussy and be mad that you aren't whole.
There was somewhere I read about sex being different for women because it takes place in her body. Men can come and go but women are stuck housing whatever goes on.

Womanhood is the gift and the curse.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Dress size

So my recent goodies from
arrived aaaannnddddddd

1. the lipstick I ordered is exactly my shade. * insert round of applause*
2. the dress I ordered is now a size too big.

Which invariably means all the clothes I just purchased on my recent trip are too big

But it also means I'm losing weight.


So now I'm off to slim fit my dress to make sure it fits right.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Its hard to wait.

Waiting and being passive is so hard.

I don't think there is anything harder than passively waiting.

Work out

My arms hurt so much.

I can't hold up my black berry lying down.

Dear kelly rowland arms.

You will be mine.

For some reason the gym wasn't as bad this morning.

And I'd like some younger unmarriedgirls to frequent it more.

I hate having to eavesdrop on children and husband gist.

What a draaaaggggg.

Anywways this is a caall for a gym partner.

Over and out

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

National awards

So I came across yesterday's thisday news paper.

And it was unusually heavy.

So I opened it.

From page 54 to page 166. Over 100 pages of congratulatory messages.

What I can't understand is why an email/ phonecall won't suffice.

Because I don't see what you that is being congratulated in the news paper can use it to do.

(Almost in the same vein I'd rather cash than birthday cards from acquaintances.)

But then again. Nduka O is probably cashing out.

So something good comes out of all the serenren.

So so.

This made me laugh.

I do not think I should have been laughing.

I made a huge step today. Fingers crossed.

Praying and hoping.

Since my friend left the firm- I have taken up friendship with NOC.

When the desirable is unavailable yada yada yda.

LOL I think I make my friends act a certain way towards me.

and I LOVE IT!
for instance extract of a conversation Im currently having.

me: I wanna go to the gym jare- nothing is happening at work

her: go to the gym and burn some fat

me: you need to see me now, I'm a babe. skinny & 2 packs,

her: I saw you on Friday.

LOL. Bants for days.

Get well soon oyin pumping!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Good ain't good enough.

Currently watching tv.

Something's I'm rather worried about.

Video girls.
The scene where the boy is chatting you up in his car, and you leave your own to enter his own.

Does this happen in real life?

Something else. Drake. Multi talented but yet to use some of that 25mill to get a stylist.

Meek. Probably the hardest working person in the industry right now. I also have an inexplicable crush on him. Inexplicable as he looks Yoruba. And yours truly thinks Yoruba boys ain't shit.

Two chains & French Montana are shit rappers. ESP French.

Who is this director x that is hell bent to put hype Williams out of business?

That being said, my newest sunglasses are sold out everywhere and have been discontinued .

This makes me feel like a super star.

Adorn by Miguel is probably my best song right now. Now all would have been perfect xcept he acts like a lesbian.
After an hour 30 minutes of watching tv. Nothing I've learnt.

I'm learning that not everything has to have a purpose. Like book reading.
Tv watching is just a more guilt free way to waste away.

My arms are killing me from the gym last night. I'm attempting to lift weights. I think I'm going to wreck my body attempting to look like that picture I put up 2 months ago.

Ps: why does everyone think I'm not fat?

When I say fat, I mean plump/ chubby etc etc.

Malting dance all comes on and I say out loud " this girl disgusts me" in reference to the shows host.
My sister replies " Im telling you".

Rare moments of agreement. I'm thankful.

What is it with co-workers asking what you bought them from holiday?


forget I have been back for a month now.

Like the hell?


In my bid to lose some weight, I decided to boycott some things.

A. RICE- Forget what you heard. Rice is the enemy.
B. LATE NIGHT EATING- No more eating after six.
C. THE LOVER- He is the king of late night eating.
D. SODA- AKA soft drinks/ minerals.
E. MALT- Malt is my liquid kryptonite

And all of this was spurned by the epiphany I had while sitting in that unsanitary Elegushi beach last night.

I attended a wedding over the weekend with my mother.
Some woman ( My mother's co-workers wife) walked up to us and asked if I was her daughter.
She said yes.
The woman said and I quote verbatim " We should be In-laws".

Probably the 3rd marriage proposal I got this weekend.

First was at the club on friday night.

This one nigga- grabbed me and asked for my ring size, on a bended knee.

The other proposal came on sunday- at elegushi.

While Im on the issue of male attention- I was at the gym on sunday, some wretched Senator sent his aide to come and get my number.
Irritated doesn't even begin to cover how disgusted I felt. Including the fact that my body was betraying me by being so lazy.

*makes mental note to visit the gym more frequently*

or at least till after Nengi's wedding.

Femi is gone. While there isn't a gaping hole in my heart. He was around for too short a period.

I miss him to tiny fucking bits! * insert heart wrenching sobs here*

But he gave me the most delicious pair of sunglasses.

For the 1st time, I was reluctant to take them. - AND I AM NEVER RELUCTANT TO TAKE ANYTHING!!!!

Today started off on a beautiful note- Bottle of flower bomb from the mother.
Still undecided about the scent yet. Clearly the universe is not interested in my life long aim to have a particular scent( Chanel chance- incase some one wants to be led by the spirit). Because even the lover who I have told, hinted( subtly and not so subtly) still wont conform.

well free perfume is always welcome on my table.

Sister's birthday was over the weekend. It was a good affair.

I'm starving. I can not wait to get home and eat some more chicken gizzard stir fry.

Ps- I  want healthy food options.- Moi moi and stir fry daily will probably constitute a deficiency.
Pss- My Birthday is coming- I'm thinking about a destination birthday. Gambia?

I need to start saving. I also want to go to dubai. *makes mental note to find travelling friends*

I believe a majority of my life's purpose is to be a world traveller at the expense of a rich significant other.

This makes the occupations I should be considering extremely limited ( they include but are not limited to- House wife, kept woman) actually they are limited to those two.

Im at a happy place in my life right now- Busy season at work is over.

What has been up with you people????

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The singledom

My darling.
There is more to life than dating someone.
I suggest learning to be alone.
Enjoy your company- Then you can remind yourself how much you like it when " awon aye"
make stupid comments about not dating.

Plus why would you want to date so soon after a split anyways?

I think you would want to enjoy the freedom and all the space and free time.

So you can go into the studio or do whatever it is you wanted to but couldn't because you-  had to be with the boo.
Space is good. do not let anyone rush you into anything.
At the same time- Do be in a haste to turn away all suitors.
Align the deal breakers- and stick to what you can not deal with.

Have a good time and more sooner than later- Mr " He who shall put a ring shall show up"

- Clearly I am the queen of unsolicited advice.
I swear I need a talk/ reality TV show- these nuggets of wisdom can not go to waste.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


Ex- coworker turned friend sent me a broadcast about how to get a man.

Said ex coworker turned friend knows I have a man, but sent it anyway.

I have no idea what to make of this subliminal message.

Speaking of getting a man.

I have been racking up quite a huge amount of male attention of late.

So much I'm not sure I want to lose weight.

Male attention at the work is just what every female should live for. Swear down. After productivity bonuses its probably the next best thing.

Career satisfaction- what is that? Male attention ensures you sleep better at night and that you wear tighter dresses to work the next day( till HR stops you anyways).

So work is amusing today. Its a day before deadline and my senior is conveniently ill. I'm not even mad. I like the opportunity to learn.

Is it odd that any man who so much as smiles as me is trying to sleep with me?

This will be discussed in detail.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


In a dramatic turn of events from all the fun I had at karaoke

With Femi Damola Nji and Azuka last night.

This morning has me in tears.

:( :( :(

I am tired of losing things in my own God damn house.


I found what I was looking for at the lovers house. A week later - even though he claimed he already checked. SMH.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Good day

Femi is back

And I saw the tony tetuila new. Music video.

So yeah. This is a good day.
That which is excellent endures forever.
Sent from my O-berry.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Super Ben.

Its first day at work and its a drag.

And then someone knows someone who works there too.

And the someone who works there is super cool

And kind.

And is a rebel just like you.

And she makes that one year bearable.

And its her Birthday today!

Happy Birthday Super Gorgeous Benita!

Hope you have an awesome 25th!

Take shots for everyone.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


In Nigeria, you think you have seen it all.

Till you have to fly post Dana Air crash.

1st there is a crowd.

Off course there is a crowd- why won't there be a crowd?

When the person selling tickets is constantly on the phone.

Eventually when you are done struggling to buy your tickets- you have to check in.

Surprise a looonger queue.

Which isn't strange, since the person checking you in is furiously typing away on her blackberry, because you know whoever she is conversing with at 6:15 is waaaay more important than you who bought a ticket and is trying to get home.

Eventually, she checks you in- but can not tag your bag because she ran out of tag paper. So she sends you to her co-worker.

Who won't tag your bag because " all she has done is tag bags all day and not checked anyone in" Somehow acting like this is your fault.

Eventually the bag gets tagged. Hurrahhhhhh!


Anyway when you finally manaage to survive the rush at security and the obscene frisking.

You finally get released to the tarmac.

Except its raining. And you are thankful you took out my weave last night.

But the passengers are standing there- with our clothes. Under the rain. Getting wet and awaiting our suitcases.

Eventually their suitcases arrive and guess what?

Your suitcase isn't there.

So after speaking to 5 different men in reflective jackets. They direct you to the security.

Then you find out- that you have a can of malt in your bag. So your bag constitutes a security risk.

So you take out the malt.

And they rescan the bag- surprise you have a bottle of wine.

"Its not allowed didn't you know?"

Know that you are not allowed to travel with liquids of any kind?

No- how would you? know that wine checked into your suitcase is too heavy for the plane?

Offcourse so what you do- is grovel and beg- because the gods of wine forbid, you gift the woman's husband- who won't appreciate it anyways- with your sexy bottle of wine.

Eventually she let's you go- but only if you tag your bag fragile.

Except the boarding counter has closed.

So more grovelling and begging. And eventually you get on the plane.

And in the usual manner of these things- there are other passengers who believe 1st flights are jokes.

These ones won't move out of the aisle. The loiter and crack wretched jokes that you don't care for.

Eventually you locate your seat.

The man beside you has claimed your arm rest.

Besides you are young what do you want to rest your arm for anyway?

In all of this madness- you see girls with perfectly applied make up in 5inch heels and toting vanity cases and you wonder how they do it.

That which is excellent endures forever.
Sent from my O-berry.

On weaves

My cousin is taking out my weave.

And she is like the hellllll.

This guy supppose be tailor.

I'm like "why?"

She is like- the guy give you back stitch on top butterfly.


I'm taking out my weave to get in chunky braids.

I'm so excited!
New hairrrr!

I'm also going to lagos tomorrow 1st flight. And straight to the. Salooooonnnnn!

I also have a new pair of red shoes.

While they aren't a "fuck me" pair. They would do for this wedding I have in october!

I live for weddings!

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I have not been this hungry in a long time.

I am so hungry I am physically in pain.

And very very close to tears.

I am tired and I'm ready to go home.

Coupled with the fact that I was at work all day.

Urgh, today is def an off day.

Do people still cry because they are hungry?

I can't even imagine what those people who die of starvation feel.

I feel horrible. And hungry. And close to tears.

I want my mummy.


Listening non stop to Baby all these nights I've struggled and fought my pride scared that someone your type couldn't s...