So. Cougar alert and other stories

Cougar alert.

Why did I go out with T last night and meet this 24 year old who wants to give me his heart?

No

I mean like he said to me while holding my hand clasped in both of his, " I like you, I like you a lot and I think I want to give my heart to you, but I want to be logical about it"

Me: Thank you ( I guess)

Me: I am also 32 so yeah

Him: I've always liked older women

Me: No you just like me. not older women.

Him: You are right, I like you.


Now this wont have been a problem at allllllllll except you know how I said he is 24, turns out he went to school ( like shared a room- went to school) with Eros's younger, younger younger brother.

So I mention that oh I happen to know his room mate and he says oh " That's strange, how come he never introduced me to you, I usually meet most of his friends"

" well, I won't say we were exactly friends"

" Were you people having sex"

" Oh God no, but the nature of our relationship doesn't matter now"

"Doesn't matter how?"

"Like it is irrelevant".

"Okay, I'm going to let it rest and we would come back to it".

We would?





via GIPHY



So I mean this is getting major awkward because- wth?

And because really I'm the worst person to get tangled with right now, and because who the hell gets involved with someone 8 years younger- Actually the Macrons and WadeUnion begs to differ.

It just seems so interesting.

Also there is another very very very very interesting angle to this shit I can't blog about but trust me.

Someone would end up crying and it won't be me.

"Disclaimer received loud and clear"

My creative said, " I hate and envy how easy it is for you to get boys to like you".

me "It's my winning personality shining through".

Other stories.

I know someone who I used to be in a fitness group with. Won't say we are friends, we are cordial enough as you can be in a fitness group with over 30 women.
Group dissolves.


Last year, I move back home. raw as hell. and I start hearing from people that this "someone" has been asking everyone, why she is seeing me in traffic. since she knows I live in VI.

Not one person

Not two people.

And then those ones came to ask me if I was okay, which I was for the most part.

But it was the most intrusive thing ever because if you want to know so badly, why do you not ask me? why are you going around asking people who aren't me?

But okay no problem.

I told myself I would make sure this shit didn't make me hard, or bitter or spiteful towards anyone, So it didn't matter what I heard, or what XYZ said, I just told myself I won't be a bitch I would be gracious to everyone consistently irrespective of how I felt.

So I ignored this.

Today "Someone" messages me talking about I look so good
me: I KNOW. :)

Her: Please you seem to have the secret to this weight loss thing down. I just saw the photo you posted on IG. Tell me what you did.

*pause*

So I'm thinking I'm not the only person you must know who has lost weight, people loose weight all the time. And you can come to me for information about this, but you "heard" *I* moved back home and you thought to ask *everyone* else but me who had the information about it.

But I said- I'm trying to remain soft but this whole thing is really pissing me off.

Sunday night I'm out, I run into one of Ero's friends who wants to talk to me.

Me: Okay, I'm listening

Then he goes off on a tangent about how he can not believe I let things get to this point and he is disappointed in me.

Me: You are disappointed in me?



via GIPHY

So I just said okay nice chatting with you and entered my car.

I mean I could have read him and told him what he really wanted to hear but to what end?

I love Amebo as much as the next person but I guess this has really taught me to just be sensitive to the fact that the gist is actually someone else's reality and it wont hurt to measure your words before you open your mouth.

Ps: I have left said someone on read. for now. I'm probably going to answer her sha.
Because I'm a softie at heart.



Pss: I did take my 24 year old's number before he started declaring his serious like for me, but but I think it is best if I do not even use it, although I did say I will invite him to my next get away.

And my next get away finna be LITTY.

Last night a deejay...

Or rather tomorrow night a Dj would save mylife.

so my uncle is having a party tomorrow for his friend at his house,

and asked me to dj.

this isnt odd, seeing as every year i do it for all the family parties we have in the village.

AND I KILL IT YOOOO.

every single year.

simply because i know what they like/want and i've beeen doing it forever.

so i went over first to get song samples and drop my oldies playlist and i shall be running late, and i shall spend most of my tomorrrow downloading shalamar.

who or whatever shalamar is.

i dunno why family wait last minute to ask you favours.

Enough about tomorrow.

Today.

i think i am going to face disciplinary action at the club, for speeding and one way driving.

In my defense, they need to sort out their parking lot issues.

And the security didnt even report the case o.

it was one man, who had previously seen me at the gym AND offered me 100k if i was able to lose weight in 5 weeks.

( I lied to him that i had a wedding when he asked me what i was doing at the gym, and had 2 drop a dress size because i pre-ordered my dress)

and since then said man has been trying to strike up conversation.

now im not one to be rude to people trying to make conversation at the gym, i mean, we all haave a common enemy (fat) and MOST of us share the same goal( lose weight)

While the others just basically come to meet the opposite sex.

as i was saying, i dont mind people trying to start random conversations at the gym,

actually thats a lie, i have watched enough porn to know that conversations in the gym always lead to dp gangbang sessions. and shit.

so no Mr Pot bellied, my fathers age mate man, i do not want to be "your friend" or receive encouragement from you via cash to lose weight.

Anyways since i am a junior member, i wonder IF my mothe would get suspended.

im too scared to tell her.

actually seeing as i am the only one that actually goes to the damn club, she'd probably be like.

"thank God you can stop trying to lose weight now and be fat"

lol.

now onto two other things a la Simon kolawole style.

Wrecking Relationships.

I've always been unable to not tell a girl when her man is stepping out on her.

I just cant not. I feel like God wont forgive me.

I also think its unfair.

Irrespective what most girls say, they actually dont want to know.

and it just wrecks the relationships.

The mother dearest

is having her bathroom remodelled and hence has 2 share a bathroom with me.

I wont even mention how many times she has shrieked my name only for me to find out how"appalled" she is by how clustered my bath is, she cant believe that i use all these variations of black soap.

and how many times she has reminded me that i would soon marry and go to my husbands house.

is this how i plan to disgrace her? Tufia.*

so yes while i await for RIM to get their act together, i shall continue to comb the internet for cheap Blackberry 9900's.

if you know who has one for cheap. hallate your gal.