The danger of a single story

You see the problem with stereotypes is not that they are incorrect, It is that they are incomplete- Chimamanda Adiche.

When I come here to bash Yoruba men, consistently ( i might add) I do it sarcastically and more often than not because I have enough ammunition to come to that conclusion.

However, I do not think it is logical for any reader to read 10 out of maybe 400 posts I have on here and confidently type out how " they understand I have reason to hate Yoruba people"

Which does not add up- as you see because I am Yoruba. I may not speak the language OR understand it or like the men BUT it does not make me any less a Yoruba person. I have Yoruba friends. Even more amusing I have my friend zone FULL of Yoruba men as friends.
Most importantly being Yoruba does not disqualify me from bashing Yoruba men.

I would have said it is my blog and I can bash who I want to bash- but I am a changed person.

Which is why I am confused. In my attempt to write satire, someone springs out from the wood works and is telling me how they understand my need to hate Yoruba people.

I am confused because no one forced you to read the article. The title was clear " Do not marry a Yoruba man" - If you are a yoruba man AND that offended you, Maybe you should not have read the post- Is all I'm saying.

The problem with the internet is that people are only able to draw conclusions from what they can see- which more often than not is incomplete.

So to my Yoruba reader who I do not know and does not know me- Your anger might be justified ( note I am using the word anger here loosely) because I do not know your story. I have no idea IF you might have lost out on the woman of your dreams solely because you are Yoruba. And so I can not honestly take anything you have said seriously.

Well maybe except the half hearted compliment you threw in about me writing properly when I am not bashing Yoruba people.

So thank you for reading my posts. And to all my other readers. Thank you.

However the posts are a 2D representation of my person and not my whole story.

If I have 10 out of 400 posts running down Yoruba men that is pretty much 2.5% . I'm not a mathematician BUT that figure strongly suggests that 10 posts are simply not enough to draw a conclusion on.


Let me also just throw out there that I am still blogging on my other blog. I know, I know. Now I have two. :)

I was going to come here and share my newest undertaking BUTTTT I had to sort this out. However once I finish my papers- I'll come right to it.x

Random culture shock and sex

"Prostitution in and of itself is an abuse of a woman's body. Those of us who say this are accused of being simple-minded. But prostitution is very simple. (…) In prostitution, no woman stays whole. It is impossible to use a human body in the way women's bodies are used in prostitution and to have a whole human being at the end of it, or in the middle of it, or close to the beginning of it. It's impossible. And no woman gets whole again later, after.”

- Andrea Dworkin

Today I got teary eyed when asked why I do not speak Yoruba.

Its so simple that I live with my mother, who I have lived with alone as an only parent for almost 15 years does not speak Yoruba.

She speaks Isoko which we speak along with pidgin at home.

But I think what really threw me off, was the suggestion that the person who asked me wanted to get me a Yoruba lesson teacher. I can stand the sarcasm and caustic remarks. But the kindness is strange and not necessarily unwelcome. It is just strange.

I can not wait to get married to my Non Yoruba husband and drop my Yoruba 1st name for my Isoko Middle name. Infact Maybe I should have people call me that.

But the strain of correcting people every single time on the proper pronunciation. 

I am finally applying to ICAN for my membership, I have been faffing for almost 3 years now.

It is about damn time.

The quote above is something I need every woman needs to carry around. You can run up mileage on your pussy and be mad that you aren't whole.

There was somewhere I read about sex being different for women because it takes place in her body. Men can come and go but women are stuck housing whatever goes on.

Womanhood is the gift and the curse.