Thursday, November 27, 2014

Last night was mad real

I mean for all the shitting I do on Abuja it is pretty decent when it decides to be.

A bit pricey but I mean it is not Lagos!

So last night after work I decided not to work but to leave my hotel room alone and flourish as an aspiring abuja baby girl.

So I decided my friends and I would see a movie.

When I got to the house ( they were at) we decided to go bowling.

And that was where the fun began!

We were the only ones there; AND OMG so much fun had not been had in AGES.

Fastforward to post bowling; we went to XO; some club in a building called cubana to do some karaoke.

I have found my go to song for karaoke.

Turn ya lights down low.

And I slayed the rap- if I do say so myself!


Anyways So I got home to my hotel room- excited and flushed about all the singing and dancing we did; when I checked my email and OMG my security deposit people ruled in my favor.


my Agents were trying to charge me 273 GBP for a mattress replacement because when I moved out of the flat there was "small blood stain" on the mattress.

I do not know if this is true but I knew that 273 was too damn high to replace a double bed mattress.

So I spoke to my flat mate who totally threw me under the bus and is probably now regretting this!


She said and I quote since it was my mattress; I should bear the cost of the replacement while she bears the cost of cleaning.

Cleaning came to 173. and mattress was 273.

So I told her I would fight the charges and she declined to join me in my struggle.

Which was fine by me.

Fastforward to me struggling to gain evidence; and then compile and collate and then submit my evidence alone while struggling with work- This girl REFUSED, like vehemently and this really strained our relationship.

Because she said she wanted her money and could not wait.

Anyway the deposit people came back to us yesterday.

Guess who they ruled in favour of-

 I then checked my black berry messenger to gloat talk to my flatmate about it and guess what

she had deleted me!

Ha ha ha.

So I did the mature thing and sent her an email!

Saying congratulations on her graduation and I am excited they ruled in my favor and she needs to remember that if they pay the money into her account it needs to be refunded to me ASAP.

because I am fucking petty like that.

She has not responded but I will give her five days after which a follow up email with my account details ( which she already has) would be sent.

As I said- I am fucking petty.


everyone kept saying how I should free but as a warri girl- I could not carry last on the matter.

Dear Nigerians living abroad and paying security deposits- contest if you feel the charges are high- Oyibo people might be racists but they are reasonable and non biased.

The reasons that these people gave for ruling in my favor was so basic and I'm like if you people think like this- I WOULD HAVE CONTESTED THE WHOLE DAMN AMOUNT!

ha ha ha.

They said- a small blood stain amounts to wear and tear.

and if the mattress was in a good condition asides the stain then we have contributed a certain amount and the deposit is not insurance that grants new for old in the situation where damages occur.

I am particularly pleased because my agency and the agents were generally ass holes about my flat and the living arrangements.

And charged Nigerian girls ( who are basically the human versions of steam mops and vacum machines) 173 gbp for cleaning a flat proffessionally.

Also major side eye to my flat mate- my old flat; when I moved out; they paid me every single pound back!


You go fear bleach.

Anyways as the bible says- God resists the proud,

But is it the same bible that says cleanliness is next to Godliness - I dunno, I wont check but I am super pleased

Look; Naira has gone up and Im going to use my new cash windfall to do black friday shopping.

Kindly disagree in your back yard. Thanks!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

12:40 am

And I am awake in my hotel room.

for some reason I did not shower all day
and now I might have to shower.

And I hate showering at mid night.

You know what I need?

I need a holiday.

Life is so weird, A solo holiday for all this scandalous and maybe one with friends.

I can not belive 2014 is almost over gosh.

And I also can not believe my driver's license has expired for almost two years now.

And I can not believe I did not go away for my birthday ( I am currently saving for a lavish solo holiday next year)

And I also can not believe  next year makes it 10 years since I left QC.

* join me to collective say OMGGGG*

I have been mentally putting together a 30  before 30 list; but I keep drawing blanks

So can I do a 15 before 30?

Meh I dunno; I probably will anyway.

I has been ages since I wrote in my actual journal and I miss it.

I travel around with one all the time to jot down the gems during the introspection I never get to do when I travel but I carry it around none the less.

I am getting really restless at work.

Bored really.

But i am thinking of staying for three more years so I can become a fellow of the institiute before 30.

Although; I might have died of boredom by then.

I also need to edit my linkedin page.

It is so dreadfully bare.

And while I am not one to compare myself; I see some people's page and I say to myself - baby girl you are slaccckinnggg and loosing this race one linkedin update at a time.

For one I am never properly dressed ( for work)- I am that person the flimsy blouse and semi formal skirt - and hence I have not a single photo of me in a suit or anything remotely professional for my linkedin page.

Two I need a new job;

Three I do not have the power or currently possess the job seeking skills I seek.

Also I do not know if I can write GMAT again.

or practice for it.

Not washing my face last night and then today is going to give me some very delicious pimples that would have me cursing the skin gods tomorrow.

And yet here I sit, refusing to wash my face.

that thing about being your own enemy has never been truer than now.
but you know what they say- YOLO.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Presents, Laughter and showing your workings.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record

I love men who make me laugh.

tonight I found out one of my friends is getting married - side bar every body and their non existent pet parrot is getting married.

So I'm teasing him and I ask him

" ah na so you no gree marry me again"

And his response floored me. I haven't laughed that hard in maybe three days.

He said " Yes now, when you no gree show workings"

I have laughed so much in recent times, it is border line obscene that I can be this happy/excited again.

Today my friend ( term used loosely here) came by my office to drop off my birthday present ( also a virtual cookie for anyone who knows what item off my wish list got crossed off)

And we just sat in the car and chatted for like an hour in that heat about everything.

And I really enjoyed that.

I quite liked the fact that there was no awkward ness and just plain open-ness.

For someone who is supposedly unkind- I find people are willing to open up to me a lot.

Anyways It was nice, It reminded me of boozey brunches which invariably led to reckless conversations.

While I do not say this enough since all I talk about are my wretched men/ small abuja boyfriends

I realise that I love and I am thankful for my female friends.

Really thankful.

So if you are a woman in my life, thank you.

You are a star girl and I fucking appreciate you.

Also we should have lunch sometime.

For -real; insist I am amazing company and I have the best gist about everyone else

Did I mention I want to quit gossiping this year along with being kind?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

help! SOS

If there is one thing you must know about me

I am a border line hoarder that hates to lose things.

about 8 years ago; my aunt gifted me with this perfect watch

And I loved it; wore it and changed the batteries only once.

Last year I moved to dundee; and when I was moving out I forgot it on my dressing table.\

And that I would pop into Dundee sometime and pick it up.

My aunt thought the idea was ridiculous as my friends could just post it to me.

Long story short- they lost the watch.

So I go online to look for it EVERYWHERE.

And I can not find it.

Finally today I stumble upon an image and a short description of the watch from  1998.


So if anyone has any information about this watch

it is the silver interlocking heart bracelet one one the extreme left in the image above.

Now I have checked every where; to no avail- 

I am willing to pay a small finder's fee to whoever can provide me solid leads 

As my aunt's heart would break if I have to confess to her that this watch is missing.


It's a YSL, simple quartx, silver stainless steel, heart face, interlocking heart braclet watch made to commemorate 40 years of the fashion house.

If anyone has any leads please PLEASE PLEASE you can email me I have my email address in my contact me thingy of my  blog. 

Thank you in advance!

You follow all the rules, you miss all the fun

And other cool stories.

I moved houses last week.

You would not believe how stressful it is to furnish a room you would not really be sleeping in.

I would appreciate recommendations for where I can find;


Which includes but is not limited to

A waste basket; soap dish; shower curtain; bath mat; tooth brush holder; tumbler; toilet brush holder;lotion dispenser and etc.

Themed bathrooms for the flipping win!

Asides this I am still receiving presents! You people on here and off here are too much!

Especially since my core friends do not think I deserve presents.

Leke _ side eye.

In the last year and the near future I am big on breaking rules to have as much fun as I deem necessary to survive.

The funny thing is how people think I am unserious with work.

Nothing can be farther from the truth. I take my job so seriously. you have no idea.

I work weekends; week days; till 2 am sometimes.

And I hate it- sometimes because you know- I need to flourish as a baby girl.

ButButBut in the grand scheme of things; I LOVE my job. and what I do.

I figure if I did not like it; I still would not be doing it.

It is challenging and I have a large amount of discipline  instilled in my person.

That being said I am off to Abuja for work.

I have accepted that I will shuttle between these two cities for a long time and now I have to start fasting and praying for Journey mercies.

because Nigerian airlines aint shit.

The only problem with my self is how the discipline from work is yet to translate to my personal life.

I bought someone a fragrance as a present and started using it because I am crazy like that.

I could do without it; but I did it anyway because I am crazy and I like new things and my ideal job would be to shop for a living.

But it isnt and the world is not ideal.

I have been happy lately- maybe from my presents and all the goodness the universe has been showing to me, but l am happy.

I also neeed new hangers for my new wardrobe ( physical not clothes) and a rug because the floor is so coold in the morning.

I miss my friends and how much we used to hang out when I lived in ikoyi,  between work and moving; it feels like there is a chasm and I am so damn busy that I need to be pinned down literally to be seen.

So damn stressful if you ask me.

You know what I just realised I liked?

back of neck kisses.

And I did not know this because I never used to put my hair up except when I worked out at the gym.

And I'm really tall and I never used to fux with tall niggs.

Anyways. I like kisses on the back of my neck.

This is not a PSA,  It is my increased self awareness showing itself.

* insert eyelashes here*

I need a personal trainer.

One that would come to my house and make me work out. till I become model skinny or death.

whichever comes first.

I need to do my nails; they are disgusting and I should have done them yesterday.

And I got nail polish for my birthday this year so I am pretty excited to try out the colors.

Also I need to take my locks out but If I am going out of town; I do not want to touch my hair because I love to wake up and go. aka braids and the locs.

The weave is for the lavishness of Lagos.

Abuja does not deserve me in a weave.

Only because I can sleep in till 7;15am and still get to work at 7;45 including showering.

and this is because my hair is out of it.

I am currently at this training and I am so damn bored I'm here rambling.

Children of God live a little.

Break the rules you have no idea why they exist and how they apply to you as a person.

I know I sound like a broken record saying this repeatedly because it changed my life so much and the odds are it would change your's too.

Final word of advice  " It is the items that we did not buy that haunt us"

if you like it, and can afford it buy it.

Then sell it on Olx if it doesn't make you happy anymore!

Ha ha. Hope you have a good week.

Monday, November 3, 2014

And finally a new year's resolution

I love how my Birthday is in Novemeber

which generally allows me to make resolutions and not feel like they are cramped into the actual new year ( jan 1)

as my official new year ( re passport) is Nov 3.

This year I want to be kind.

I am not kind. Kind is not a word anyone would use to describe me.

I am dependable; fiercely loyal and always full of solutions but I am not kind.

I do not think I am mean either but I am not at the base of my being a kind person.

For one I give cash and not birthday presents.

I know I know.

However; I am learning that kindness is like a muscle and unlike muscle memory ( sadly)

So the more I act like ( fake it till you make it haaaayyy) I am a kind person,

the kinder I become.

This is going to be such a struggle for me because I spent the last year indulging myself in all the possible baby girl-ness available and just doing me ( and it was fabulous and I loved it) but I want to be kind.

And I realise that this might involve me having to sacrifice a lot of things I have grown accustomed to [ like self service laundry for actual catch up laundry session with my friends and do my laundry myself:( ]

So half year I would mentally evaluate if I like being kind ( because I also realise that I seem to like certain ideas more than the actual act. like the idea of being kind seems so beautiful but I might not like it when I start being kind)

And I would know if it is an attribute I would love to develop long term.

So word for 26 is kind.

here is to kindness keeping me grounded.

On liking you and You liking me

Another thing that I discovered about myself in the last year is this.

I am Likeable.

I am delightfully likable.

Like if I wanted you to like me ( male or female) I would work so hard at it; it would literally be between me and God to stop you liking me; you would have no say in it.

But then I found that I had a shit load of people who liked me that I did not really like.

So now I had a problem; I had actively and expressly put myself in your life when I did not want you in mine.

And since I am so good at leaving things I had no idea on what to do with- I would literally just stop

trying to get you to like me ( but my then it is usually too late)

Later in the year in about the last quarter of the year

I consciously decided to only concern myself with people I already like.

which meant I was going to do a lot of courting for women I liked and wanted to be friends with and all that jazz.

I find that managing these people are easier because I like them and not because they like me.

So going forward; I am going to encourage all of us; when walking into a room, when meeting people to be self aware enough to recognize early enough if you like them and want them in your life or you just really want people to like you ( and it eventually gets boring).

My friends female which I have had from QC and uni always complain about how hard it is to make friends now that we are older ( and I call bullshit) because it is.

It is pretty much because we aren't actively befriending the people who we actually like.

Ha *raises glass to how self aware I have become*

Post Birthday euphoria

I actually understand when Good luck and David Mark and everyone else in politics comes out to say people are begging them to run for office.

That is the exact way I felt about my make shift birthday party.

I say make shift because I moved houses from Ikoyi to Lekki over the weekend ( sad face)

And I thought I was going back to Abuja for work on sunday.

So having a party would have been grossly irresponsible seeing as I hadn't done my laundry ( as I blog this; said laundry is still at the laundromart in lekki)

Anyways last minute; my mother insisted I have a party since its what I have always done in Ikoyi.

I have a small gathering of friends; jollof rice, small chops, music and alcohol.
This year was pretty much the same minus the jollof rice. But it was good and I am so so so thankful for the people in my life AND the presents they brought me.

I have written for the last week a three paged word document regarding all the introspection leading up to setting foot into my late twenties ( ah shivers)

I am probably the only person excited to be turning older  according to everybody.

Which I would be putting up on so you guys should go and read it there.

This year, I want to be honest and kind and thoughtful.

And I realize how impossible it might be to the those three things concurrently but there is no harm in trying.

Finally _ of all the items on my list; It seems that no one wants to give me money for my holiday.

And I understand this. I mean I am trying to understand this; but I am struggling to understand it.

Do you people not want me to be happy?


In all this; this was my year of horrible indulgence.

I was truly a baby girl and I loved every minute of it.

The only thing I hated about being 25; was how unstable I was with working out.

I honestly need to fix up regarding my weight loss; develop a routine and sculpt my dream body.

Another disgusting habit I need to drop is giving out my number and never picking up when people call me.

I find that it is easier to give you my number, then never call you, than to tell you I have no intrest in you calling me.

see the struggle- Honest; kind and thoughtful? Damn Catch 22.

Anyway here is to a really chilled week so I can slowly wind down from all the celebration this weekend.


Listening non stop to Baby all these nights I've struggled and fought my pride scared that someone your type couldn't s...