Vanity Doc

So for the big 30. I'm getting a documentary made.

Its a very very big vanity project but its something I'm looking forward to.

while speaking to the person who will shoot and direct it, we spoke about themes and people who I'd want to interview and all that and I asked casually " do you think I should ask my ex husband to send in a clip?"

and he was like- Do you people speak?
and I'm like - lol nah, but he is someone who was in my life for 10 years.
it'd be odd to do a whole ass doc and just erase him.
and he said to me: You have to simplify your life.

And I'm like cool.

I mean if Eros asked me, I'd be like FUCK NO. But what is so strange is that someone who has been such a huge chunk of your life just vanishes. It's weird.

I mean I have other love interests that have morphed into friends that are going to either send in clips or be in the vide, but I am pretty excited about it.

Like I am looking forward to working on this project. Picking out the accompanying music; just getting the questions I will have the contributors answer, the friends I am going to ask to speak.

The tears I'm going to cry just watching it when it's done.

I am not looking forward to how much it will cost sha.

but I'm excited can you tell?

I have visions of an opening montage of me at my first birthday and zoom to my 10th and so on and just random casual videos of us dancing in the club and having a blassst.
I can not wait.

Also if you have random candid videos of you and I send them to me.

they just might make the cut.

Are you okay and other stories.

The last few months have been difficult for me.
Not in the I'm broke way but when you count the cost of an task to undertake but you some how skip out the emotional cost.

I am always there for my friends.
Among my MANY redeeming qualities; this is at the TOP of the list.

And I do not even say this to toot my horn, but if you are my friend, I will go to war with you.
It's how I've always been.
Fiercely loyal and dependable.

So being unable to be there for people in my life because of the task at hand was hard. And not even in an ego way but hard in a, I'm so sorry I can't be there for you more way. but I need to get these exams done.

Anyway anthony bourdain is dead. He was 61 and committed suicide.

I almost started crying when I saw it. I'm almost still crying.
It is awful

One of my newer male friends who is a freelance journalist wrote for his parts unknown.
Like its crazy.
I want to reach out to everyone I know and be like

ARE YOU OKAY? Tell me talk to me

I am so sad about his death
I was having a shit day and now this.

Now usually I'd have gone to Ikoyi club this evening to have a drink and talk about how awful this is, but my partner has moved.
Crazy, she writes about going through it  in real life and popping off on social media here
While all my lives are connected, I understand that people live separate lives and seek solace in them.

But a lot of my friendships are those " real life, chill at home real life living"

Eric who was bourdain's best friend who also was the one that introduced his wife Octavia to him was the one that found him dead in his hotel room in france.
He just finished shooting parts unknown in Hongkong.

To say I am shook is an understatement.
I hope my friends are okay.
I know it's trying times now but this too shall pass. And when it does It will be a glorious day.

What T told me- when I told him Lagos boys don't really want situtationships.

You know what you need to do?

You need to leave this baby boy life alone,

get you one boy focus on him and catch all the feelings.

There is too much bullshit out there.

On liking myself

This post is going to go three ways- one about last night, two about what I want to comment about this post and three , my unwillingness to adopt baby girl in my bio.

This weekend was what good weekends are made off.

But we start from thursday.

I went to dinner * almost celebratory* with a few friends in town.

Again It was amazing and interesting and delicious and I am dead for the lowkey-ness of traffic in maitama.

Also I absolutely LOVE how women who do not want to do things, can get away with the phrase "you know I am a woman".

For example- we go to traffic and there was parking constraint ( as always); so the parking attendant decided to pop us into one ridiculous corner.

Now my friend has been driving for a longgggg time but we had had long days, she did not want stress, she just told the parking guy- you know I am a woman find me another space do not allow me hit someone's car, the parking man swiftly directed her somewhere.

Home girl expertly parked her car and the parking man was visibly upset he said- BUT you can drive well now; why were you lying.

My friend- I didn't want stress.

I am not above using my perceived feminine weakness to my advantage and I am unapologetic about it.

Anyway so dinner was amazing; everyone seemed surprised that I was fasting;

And I seemed surprised that everyone pegged me as someone who would dabble into "sugar mummy-isim"

LOL.

Hardly.

I think people are odd when it comes to money and lovers.

personally I love. LOVE love presents.

However, in the usual manner of life screwing one over, I do not get as many presents as I deserve / want.

So I over compensate by giving presents- the kind I would like.

Offcourse even I know it means I would only be dissapointed but I find that I actually really like giving presents and so I give them. meh.

lady in the post up there is being led to believe that you can not have it all.
FALSE.

Yes there is such a minor minor minor portion of the exisiting minority of happily married women who have jobs, and have kids and some how make it work.

What they tell me- all of them is the same thing, you need two things- Find someone who understands that your marriage is for two of you and

who is willing to do the things that make it work for two of you.

One woman is particular has three kids she works in london while her husband works in Nigeria and America- and let me tell you; this woman is the ultimate damn baby girl.

I kid you not, went out to lunch with her and she had the warmest lushest rabbit fur stole.

( her husband bought it for her), and I was just like really?

And she said while you need to defer to your husband in public in Nigeria pretty much to save face- outta town you can do whatever the hell you want and "who gon check you boo boo?" her answer is NO DAMN ONE.

So You need to leave Nigeria to be happily married I asked her.

She replied- no, you need to marry a man whose mind has left Nigeria and is exposed.

Me- ahhhh I see.

On getting good grades and being the best you can be- It really is for your benefit and personal conscience.

I personally Love to coast because- baby genius over here. ( LOL JK), but I am inherently lazyyy.

I need to emphasize how lucky I am that the man I am getting married to- is happy with the idea of a maid.

* throw back titbit*

First time I went to his house and slept over, in the morning I was trying* key word being try* to make the bed and put the room in order.

He walked out of the shower and saw me and asked what are you doing?

Me- err making the bed.

Him- Leave it, someone will come and sort it out.

Obviously now my bed making skills are HORRIBLE.

Because while they were horrible before, my zero practice lead me to be a more horrible bed maker.

However I picked up other bed skills so I am not half mad. * insert lecherous laughter here*

But if you can- it is always advisable to perform at your optimum capacity.

Soooo on saturday morning, I went swimming at my hotel- took about 1000 photos and then ordered small chops.

Sunday I went to church- AHMAZING. then went to find a tailor; then bought the most delicious fish ever liveth.

Demolished said fish and went to XO for karaoke.

Now I have complained about how the women in abuja are not fancy in relation to clothes. Like aunties and gals will just be wearing rags under the guise of I drive a benz.

True Lagos girl at my core- I am dead for any opportunity to GIVE THEM.

But abuja really calms me down- Like half the time I have to go out, I just go from work, and yall know I wear rags to work in abuja.

Anyway- That is how on sunday I went to Xo with Uloh.

Uloh is the supreme leader of all the baby girls collectively on the face of God's green fertile and fruitful earth.

So going out with her is always always always a fun activity.

In the usual manner of things a nice young man sat beside me and began to make conversation.

He said I looked good for my age- Pause minus 10 points, and then offered me a drink.

I did the whole song and dance about how No- I am not drunk and No- I am not pregnant and No- I am not sick and No- I would really not like a drink because I simply do not drink.

So water was ordered; baby girl Uloh got champagne.

Pause Nigerian men are so extra- which one is champagne at karaoke?

Anyway Young man proceeds to slather me with compliments.

while I live for compliments- compliments from drunk married men don't really do much for me.

but he said - I see you and I have spoken to you and you just seem like the kind of woman that a man would be naked in bed with and not get physical with immediately because he wants to pick your mind.

Me- Pause.

Him- That is a compliment

Me- Okay thank you.

and he also said- you are all covered up are you not bothered that all the other girls here are dressed like * people who came to sell market*

Me- Again, Not interested in Abuja market rn, but thanks for your observation.

Then he pointed out how women get married and stop looking attractive.
And on and on he went till he said

You really do not give a shit about what I am saying or what men want- do you?

Me- Finally, we are on the same page. * cue laughter*

But the ultimate compliment was that - I would make an amazing wife.

Me- ha I know.

I am a liar (because you know, I do not know)

but it is weird because everyone says that and I am like huh? Y'all be tripping.

In same vein, everyone says I will be a sugar mummy.

And the really weird thing is how I cant stand younger men- FOR SHIT.

Except that one time with my darling J-lo. * inside joke*

Steps on self awareness soap box.

Point is this- I made no effort to glean further enlightenment from my dear married man who only wants to be friends- the same way I must have been born 2 years ago-.

Which is odd, because before if a man touched my palm and said Oh my lord your hands are so soft.

My default answer ( do not judge me) would be- ha, and they are the hardest part of my body * insert coy smile*

I told you people I really like men. and they like me back.

And men will fall into this thirst trap and on and on till I have to leave or whatever- I digress

My point is- I was unbothered.
 
Like I could not even muster enough energy to pretend to be bothered.

I could not care less-even if I tried my hardest.

And when I was leaving and he asked me if he could call me I told him gently

- That I was clearly not in the market for married men as "friends".

I am always so proud of my self when I can turn down advances without being rude or stand-offish.

I mean it must be so hard to walk up to the opposite sex and declare interest.

And It must be heart wrenching to be shut down viciously like your dreams are not valid.

even if you know in your heart that these wet dreams are really invalid.

Fancy- This is a word my close friends would use to describe me- and I am like no. no no.

I am nothing like that.

Baby girl- Is the other word.

One of my friends who I spent the weekend with was telling me how she just looks at my enjoyment and it is apt.

And I am like but noooo- I want more; then she looks at me and says

Any thing more than this- you know it's runz abi?

It is always nice to be operating at your fullest baby girl capacity I guess.

Birthday wish list

Because what is a birthday without presents?

I will tell you- A BORE.

So without much ado-

1. Viktor and Rolf bon bon.
My friend Eneni has this scent and my GOD, it is divine.
100ml. Edp - obviously.

2. YSL mascara in shocking.
 I currently have the baby doll, and I am ready to take it to the next level.

3. Foreo lunar face wash

This is touted as the revolutionary and apparently the best face washer in the world.

meh- My skin is oily and sensitive so when you get to the store, make your you mention it.

4. BMS Indonesian massage session

I have been so stressed of late that- I need a full day pampering session just to unwind.

I like the BMS spa in Ikoyi; I have been there once; and the women were so good, I never fall asleep during sessions because I am always so scared that they would molest me ( Too much porn) However, when the women woke me up, I was not so mad.

5. White skinny jeans ( Inseam 36 waist 28/30)

Look I have searched high and low, tall girls get NO DAMN LOVE WHEN IT COMES TO PANTS AND MAXI's. Yes I am shouting. I honestly believe that white skinny jeans take you to the next level- ask khole kardashian.

Note that this photo is for illustrative purposes only.

6. Clinique Dark spot corrector.

Because lets face it. I am an Olympic gold medalist when it comes to picking at the pimples on my face. and HELLUR scars.

This serum actually works really well. 

7. Bang and Olufsen bluetooth speakers.

I am currently lusting for the beo play A8 in purple ( obviously); 

However since this is above my pay grade; I would manage the beats pill

8. Running shoes

Because I have let my body go. and my reverse cow girl is now shit since I stopped working out.

( I'm not playing here)

these look decent enough to make me want to wear them then work out- Hopefully.

Side bar- I need one of you fitness enthusiast to come and make my body his/ her ( his preferably) pet project. my body has so much potential I just like rice too much and late night dinners always have me like YASSSSSSSS. 

9. Tom Ford Tuscan Leather 

Three weeks ago, I ran into my friend and he smelt so damn good, and I know he used to wear Gucci pour homme, turns out he was wearing this fragrance.

fast forward to this weekend; I met my new almost Abuja boyfriend ( inside joke) and he smelt the exact same way. 

Suffice to say- I want to smell the same way- And I never want to smell like men I can not have but I am making an exception.

10. A sizable contribution to my next holiday.

My next holiday is going with the theme lavish with a budget. I have no idea how that would work but yeah that is in my plan. I plan to do a Lagos - London- Morocco- Canary Islands- Monaco- Paris- London- Lagos holiday.

Obviously by now y'all know I do nothing by halves. 

Do not worry I would take pledges and I wont call out defaulters. This isn't church you know?

Ps- crossed out items have been gifted.

Pss- If you want to buy them again, that is fine too.

Psss- I did not put up locations because we need to put in a little thought/ work into gift giving you know?

Pssss- If you do not really know where to get them from call me/ email me.

On the finality of Death

Death is so final.

It makes everything seem futile.

Like you are slaving away on earth for nothing.

Today was my cousin's burial.

I was at the grave side and we were called to rites.

From dust we came and to dust we return.

Nothing is more final than that.

I also learnt that there is no such thing as water proof mascara when you are having a nice break down.

His care taker came and cried. AND she cried. and cried and cried.

My aunt had to scream at her to stop crying and demonstrating.

As we finished the rites and they shut they grave.

It started to rain.

You may not believe it but family is everything- Just standing there watching them rally around my aunt and tease each other and crack jokes.

Even in the face of death; we still found things to laugh about.

and that is the beauty of life I guess- there is always something to laugh about.

As an aside- You internet users are creeepppyyyyyyyyyy/ stalkerrrrrrssss.

But in a good way.

One of my blog followers found me on google in under 10 minutes.- according to him; dont take my word for it.

And I was touched at the effort.

Personally I can not be bothered about the writers of the blog's I love so you can imagine how amusing I found it. I confess all the interest is flattering.

As much as it may seem like I want to be anon- It really just stems from Laziness.

I can be arsed to take photos or link my instagram here so I have no pictures.

But I am not catfish sha- you can take my word for it.

I currently tweet from  here. I am pretty random and obsessive. And I also have zero tolerance for iranu.

I block very easily- no threats just saying; so keep your opinion to your own twitter okay?

I have updated my profile to include an email address where I can be reached on- So if anyone wants to send me presents for " coming out" feel free to contact me.

As for my instagram- I am wary as to how most readers will receive me so no instagram account- but again; this needs repeating- I AM NO CATFISH.

Admist all the tears and laughter, I resolved to live my life to the fullest.

The utmost fullest life is what I think I deserve.

Which I why I am going on another vacation.

LOL- Hardly a vacay. But once I get approval from my managers and partners.

I am off to have the time of my life. With people I love and who love me in return.

Also in all the laughter with my family. I did not feel so alone.

On a different note

Last night I went to karaoke with my mainest day one office lovers.

We had such an amazing time- My friend Ori who is a singer but pretends to be an investment banks to idle about has the most amazing voice.

But she was not last nights star.

Actually Last night there were two stars.

This nice young man who decided to stare into my soul while doing a really good rendition of - Az's yet last night. I was like


Can You stop staring at me pleaseeeeeeeeeee. LOL

My friends found it so hilarous. I was like urgh.

the second and main star was someone called "Austine"- I remember his name because as he picked his song Muni and I were saying " Please do not do this"

But HE DID THE DAMN THING!

Home boy channeled Neyo and slayed " do you" by Neyo.

He also recorded the whole performance AND I strongly believe he plans to get an ex back.

If you are the woman he sends that recording to- Stay strong, I also do not think your current man stands a chance. So if " Austine" gets you back- I understand.

Finally the weekend is here. I plan to take my other cousins to see a movie and just generally spend time with them catch up on who is dating who; who has a new boyfriend - my younger cousins seem no have no issues switching partners. Almost too easy.

There are not enough side eye's in the world for me to give to them.

But I am looking forward to them and to my mini vacay.

Enjoy the weekend and make the most of it.

Newest Blog Obsession

When I find a blog I like- I read all the posts.

From the latest till the oldest- Forget about the work I'm paid to do, This is the shit I live for!

Personal blogs even better!

I even contact the writers for passwords of protected posts.

AND THEY NEVER SAY NO?

why? What is a stranger on the internet going to do with your post- asides plagiarize it?

I really really really hate those short story/ poet-y/ creative writer blogs.

They are borderline ninja status. and Irritate the hell out of the amebo inside my very soul. even more than laborious reading

HOWEVER, I have found one I like.

I have no idea IF it is a personal blog because the stories seem realistic at the same time so damn off, or it just gives off this ninja vibe.

Nothing personal- Yet I feel like I can know the person through the posts.

And the writer doesn't even know he/she does that- See? serious Ninja undertows.

Doesn't change the fact I like it though.

So here is my newest blog obession- How people write so properly sometimes baffles me

They must have so much free time at work - a part of me thinks.

Not really- another part replies. They are probably just patient enough to proof read whatever they throw up on the web.

so here- Newest obsession Blog  go on. click it. you know you are dying to find out what/who has my knickers in a twist like this.

The last time I went on a drive with my friend Debo- was two years ago.

Debo's car was bad so he rolled up in his sister's Rav4 and turned on the radio as I got in.

Tracy was playing.

We listened to fast car on repeat as we drove through lagos, from my house in Ikoyi. to our primary school in apapa, to his grand mothers house in Illupeju, through lagos Island where were went to seek out this pepper soup that has spaghetti in it back to my house.

And that was one of the best times I spent with Debo- Forget the fact that I always spend " best" times with him

LOL.

So when I found my new obsession liked tracy- I knew the time had come to share.

Ps: I am LOWKEY excited about this party tomorrrowwwwwwwww! Like I can not wait!

*squeal* I need to make more friends that have parties- and get myself invited!

Books from Bookie.

My friend just sent me the most delicious book ever.

Dear 50 shades of grey fans. Imma let yall finish BUT no one does BSDM erotica like black lace.

Anyway.

I just popped over to let you know

1- My current  client is trying to poach me- AS IF.

2- I am a happy bunny- Neww books!

3- I went to the gym this morning- Also a fit bunny!

I will be back with a more decent post on how my weekend went.

By the way I met this 40 something year old hair dresser.

Probably the most agreeable Nigerian male I have ever met.

I am one of the worst peoples' hair to make- My current hair dresser Yinka must be tired of me.

But Baba?

Too sweet. Perfect disposition.

I'm soo accustomed to the abrasive nature of Nigerian men, that this was a pleasant surprise.

However the saloon is in Festac.

I was so horribly drawn to his person. * sigh*


I say horribly  because I am never drawn to anyone. attracted yes. drawn Never.

Plus he started making hair in 1986 when he was wrapping up his stay at yaba tech.

In 1986, I was not even born.

I do not know what kind of person this makes me.

Yesterday was absolutely delish. The lover, his brother, his brothers girl and I all went to visit his mother.

It was such an amazing time. After which we came home and drank wine from the bottle because we were both too comfortable in our postion.

Does that happen to anyone? You find the perfect postion with your lover and refuse to move?

No one? Well just me then.

so we sat there, drinking wine and watching el-classico.

I am team C-Ronaldo just incase anyone is interested.

Its days like yesterday that make me so skeptical about going to school.

I have been thinking about it a lot lately.

Also my birthday is coming.

While I'm not particularly excited- I can not believe it. I am going to be twenty- something!!!

I'm getting so old and I have no millions to show for it yet.

I'm also thinking of going away for my birthday.

Calabar, cotonu, Ghana, togo?

However alone.

Does this make me strange?

I also attended a new church yesterday- However, my spirit did not quite gel with that of the pastor and I have no idea why. Will go by again to see if it was just a fluke or for real. Although I am listening to his tapes and he comes across as hella obnoxious. We'll see.

Anyways I'm still reeling from the excitement from yesterday AND the book from today!

Thank you Bookkie for the book!

You rock, hurry back home so I can pay you back with copious amounts of palm wine and Nkwobi!

Having said that, O.B.O is a satisfactory album from a 19 year old boy who succumbs to the thinking of most teenagers - money can solve anything.

Rating- 3.5/5.

That is the review that someone from the net website gave to Davido's new album.

While the Lover was so generous as to gift me with it, I doubt, I will have time to listen.

God answers prayers. I eventually caved into malaria and took a day of or maybe two days off work.

I do not know if I am a bad person- My friend said said she does not want to be friends with me anymore.

I stunned because- I have no idea why she is so upset. Like I can't understand it.

But I guess we make choices and we live with them. One less friend.

There  are no permanent enemies, there are no permanent friends.

Holiday-ing and Other cool stories

Today I visited the gym.

I hadn't been there in so long, it was amusing.

Luckily for me I didn't faint or anything remotely interesting.

I just noticed the turn out of the boys/men at the gym had really increased in the morning.

Strange.

Might have to start drawing on my eye brows.

I mean I'd hate for anyone to see me without them, except the old fat wrinkly women there who have tattooed on brows.

I felt so great afterwards. My newest feel good song is " ALL the way" by Timaya.

I could totally take on the world and not break into a sweat.

Tonight I'm having friends over. and I'm so excited.

I ALSO. went online shopping again yesterday.

I swear I'm in serious trouble.

I have no idea when this madness is going to blow over.

I found the perfect dress for my friends wedding.

now all that is left is the perfect shaper.

I'm currently looking at body magic.

I have been looking for almost a year now and I'm dropping kgs like its going outta fashion.

That being said Oyinkan is Amazeballs.

What did she do?
I'll tell you next week.

But for now, Lets just say I'm interested in actively selling her market.

and to think I met her on the Twitter streets.

real diamond in the mud that one.

To other cool stories.

I have been yakking the Lover to head out to the gym since I can remember.

About 3 weeks ago, he started going to the gym.

and now he is a devoted treadmill worshipper.

How devoted?

yesterday he cancelled our Dinner plans. for the gym.

because he missed his Wednesday workout and decided to make it up with Thursday.

But Thursday was our pre-planned dinner date of almost 2 weeks.

Yes he knew that, but He couldn't just miss the gym.

And he knows I understand.

What I understood was that I had to eat microwaved jollof rice from the fridge.
after I don set belle for better Chinese dinner.

Cool story over.

Oppression and other cool stories

1st, I'm so glad to be home.

And while I didn't meet a welcome party at home(even though i pretty much snuck* into town)

I still expected banners and ballons and what not.

But I didn't get any.

Side eye to ALL my loved ones. and have a dash of shame to go with that.

anyways i went for the MK bake sale in the sheerest blouse I own.

Why? Last time I wore a lose ankara dress, and more than one person speculated that i was with child.

to debunk these rumours, i came naked as my birth day. or as close as i could without my security-men driving me back.

Ate lots of turkey, and Chicken.

People Suyi's BBQ is the way the truth and almost the newest gospel.

This Boy makes the bestest bestest BBQ in town.

I ran into a bulk of the Lovers friends. said hey.

AND one of them must have told on me, because 20 mins later he called " to find out where i was"

So to avert all damage I went by his place.

And ended up sleeping there.

I need to be more assertive and say NO.

Because I didnt plan to sleep there, i couldnt go to the gym on Monday am.

anyways, we are having dinner tonight, and i wonder if i should dress up.

or just go from work.

Im at the phase where i think i want to be dolled up most times when im with him.

Why? I have no idea. Infact it is extremely unlike me.

hmph. too many fashion and style blogs maybe?

I am losing weight. How much? a little too much.

I like it, Im fitting into size 8 dresses that i had given up hope on.

someone needs to have a kick ass party so i can wear one of these dresses.

speaking of parties, I intend to have a bunch of my friends over.

you know to fill me on on what i missed in the last month while i was out of town.

and to drink vodka with me.

and listen to me berate abuja men and thier lack of game.

Totally unpretentious no accents just alcohol and fun.

MEANWHILE!!!!!

i was talking to my friend, who said, he broke up with his girl friend AND she came to his office with a knife.

to kill him and herself.

like i was speechless.AND IM NEVER SPEECHLESS.

we need to get a grip. too messy. too poor.

so yeah, im home. tired but not broken. and im home.

oh and why does this duken diet tell me my ideal weight is 67.9kg?

When in my mind 65kg is apt?

* snuck = is that a legit word?

Friends

So my friend read my blog and was kind to forward it to me.

------Original Message------
From: Ani
To: MyProfile
Subject: Laundry
Sent: Mar 13, 2012 1:32 PM

Read your blog. I see you lost the chat. LOL. Here it is for records purposes.

Participants:
-------------
Sir Skywalker, Ms Oreoluwa

Messages:
---------
Sir Skywalker:
Its a good one
Sir Skywalker:
Saw it yday night
Ms Oreoluwa:
Not talking about it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Forsome reason everyone has seen it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Awom spoilers
Ms Oreoluwa:
Rme
Sir Skywalker:
:*
Sir Skywalker:
Hehe
Ms Oreoluwa:
You never told me what you thought of my blog.
Sir Skywalker:
You never asked.
Ms Oreoluwa:
I assumed you were going to get back to me
Ms Oreoluwa:
After reading.
Ms Oreoluwa:
As I do after reading yours
Ms Oreoluwa:
Assumptions - the mother of all fuck ups!
Ms Oreoluwa:
Anyways *props pillow* regale me
Sir Skywalker:
Lool
Sir Skywalker:
Its quaint.
Sir Skywalker:
Nice.
Ms Oreoluwa:
*side eye*
Ms Oreoluwa:
Good bye.
Sir Skywalker:
The name is rather intresting. I like. :)
Sir Skywalker:

Sir Skywalker:
Sitcho ass down
Sir Skywalker:
I'm not done
Ms Oreoluwa:
Loooool
Ms Oreoluwa:
Okayyyy.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Merci.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Okaaayyyyyy
Ms Oreoluwa:
I assumed again. At quaint we'd be done.
Ms Oreoluwa:
*sigh*
Ms Oreoluwa:
*props pillow again*
Sir Skywalker:
I like the pseudo-vulnerability that characterizes your writing...
Sir Skywalker:
I say 'psuedo' because I tend to think you loathe the idea of being vulnerable...but your writing is naked. Unassuming. Almost like soliloqy.
Sir Skywalker:
Very simple. I like it.
Sir Skywalker:
Shows the gamut of thoughts that run through your conscious mind.
Sir Skywalker:
I noticed you have more posts on being thankful than any other categorization. That kinds shows your appreciation for life, regardless of the shit storm that it mostly is...I find that uber cool
Ms Oreoluwa:
:)
Sir Skywalker:
But you still maintain that subliminal regal tone that is Oreoluwa.
Ms Oreoluwa:
This washing is amazing.
Sir Skywalker:
Its you. Its exquisite.
Sir Skywalker:
I like it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Loool.
Sir Skywalker:
There, I'm done.
Ms Oreoluwa:
*rinsed and clean*
Ms Oreoluwa:
See how I'm sparking.
Sir Skywalker:
Lmao! Clown.
Sir Skywalker:
Loooooool! Just seen your stat=))
Ms Oreoluwa:
Yes nowWwww.
Ms Oreoluwa:
^_^

My status was forget Omo, Ani does a better job.

:)

How has everyone been? good?

I've been working terrible hours but I kinda like it.

I'm so gassed up about Easter. I may be going to Ghana!

Finally. it costs a pretty penny. But I work hard so. *shrugs*

The lover has a wedding in Abuja that weekend, and I do not want to attend it with him.

I'd just rather not attend it.

So I may be akwabba-ing you people tomorrow! * insert a bottle of excitement here*

Thanksgiving.

While im fully resident in Nigeria,

And we dont celebrate thanksgiving. there is the need to be thankful.

I remember this time last year i was in Ny for thanks giving and it was beautiful.

My aunt just underwent heart surgery sucessfully, she was able to get someone to look after her kids while in the hospital.

There was so much to be thankful for.

And this year we have a lot more to be thankful for,

for good health, wealth, successes promotions, inductions, Birthdays, lovers quarrels, everything its impossible to count.

But i am thankful, most for myself

This last year i have grown, my Yoruba has become better, my people skills increased, wisdom nko? e don pack come my domot.

this 2011 make i no even talk lie, na me God vex dash this 2011.

If you see as God use me take shine this year ehn?

You sef - wen you carry eye torch lite as God don use me shine wella this year e go hungry you make you come serve this My God.

None the less this year has been amazing- and all Glory is returned to God.

Baba God i say Thank you. i am Thankful.

:)

What are you thankful for?

GRILL IT SO I KNOW ITS REAL

This appeals to me simply because I am trying to lose weight.
And everything is supposed to be grilled- not deep fried.
Or so they say.

So you can imagine how elated i was when i found, no heard. No discovered that my friend would be grilling at his cook out.

I definitely know how real it is.

Ideally that mini rant/muse should have come after this but- whatevz

My friend ( NO famzing here) Chef fregz, is having a cook out.

AT the centrally located GETz arena. ( its enroute palms shopping mall and basically shares a back door with 4 points. Although if you don’t know it, i advise you to use GPS. Or better still ask the Okada Men around)

Starts at 11am till late (aka when your friends you came with have to roll you home because you have over stuffed your face with delicious delicacies from the maestro himself)

And here is the menu

*insert insanely loud drum roll here*

THE ZOE BURGER
Grilled Turkey flesh glazed with a spicy BBQ Glaze, Red Pepper Relish, Russian-Style Dressing, Lettuce Pickles, Sauteed Cabbage nested between freshly toasted brioche buns
Come with fries and dipping sauce
#2000

GRILL IT... SO I KNOW IT REAL
A Juicy T Bone Steak grilled and lightly Briased in a Yellow-Chilli Gravy served with Herb Rustic Potatoes, Cabbage and Green Beans
#3000

CAJUN ISLANDER
Butter milk Marinated Jumbo Prawns, crusted with spicy herb-breadcrumbs. Served with a Relish, Vegetable Pilaf. Or Fries

#3500

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY
A Luxurious French Toast. Brioche Bread soaked in a Homemade custard, toasted on both sides in butter, served with whipped cream, chocolate Sprinkles and Chocolate sauce.
#1000


Each meal except the Dessert comes with a free drink


Gbubemi Fregene: Ur the VERY first person to see this


You see that last line there? It’s an excerpt of our conversation, at 1.23am.
Yup that is me subtly name dropping. Or whatever it is.

So if you want a burger, or dessert ( I KNOW I’m having one because I have been so good to the gym this week) or a steak( YUP, I’m def having one too) , or a delish prawn meal.

You should be there.

OH what’s that? You that don’t want to eat?
Good. How about you buy a meal for that girl you have been trying to set P with for ages a loved one.

OH yeah, he didn’t forget, there would be take away available.

So I see no reason why you won’t be there.

Thirsty girls- there are free drinks with every meal. You should come too.

(Asides the desert obviously- he is being kind to your waist line- be thankful)

So I Know it’s real because i shall be having steak and desert on Saturday afternoon with my gorge kinky braids AND in an Ankara dress. Probably trying to cure a hangover or nursing one.

And if all these reasons aren’t good enough for you to come, you should ask someone who is coming to buy you take away.

(But you should come, they might just eat up your order and lie that it finished- I definitely would).

Compliments

My friend A, just sent this to me randomly on bbm today.

" You are a very peculiar woman O. You can imagine how much this irks me( Joking) to say this but you are really awesome ( when you look beyond your great diva-ness- lol). Your (rather expansive) grasp of things around you and your informed appreciation for things from rap to football to politics, makes you a rather unique lady. I'm very proud of you as a friend. I just thought you should know that"

* turns of background violin music*

When people ask me how i can sleep at night being who i am, i should show them this message.

It totally blew me away.

I literally had to rinse my self. this washing was too much.

But thank you A. now if this pride can translate itself into one of the things on my birthday wishlist.

lol jk.

Hi Rihanna.

Questions People Ask.

What would you do if your Lover left you?

Answer:

I dont know. i have never considered him leaving me.

Because i wouldnt know what to do.

But im sure i would be fine.

- I dont think thats what most people want to hear.

They want tears, and hate and anger and whatever.

I tell myself and them, " its a great relationship, if he wants out, there is nothing i can do about it"

Nothing i'd even want to do about it.

They think i'm mad. hell even i think im mad sometimes.

But hey, Loves makes you mad. No?

I see people wanting to be happy with SO's. thirsty and needy.

I tell them they all need " the business".

If you are unhappy with yourself, somebody else cant bring you happiness.

Even if they were mother theresa. You'd still be sad.

I think Self love should be a course in University/ies. too many people walking around with issues that stem from nothing.

Like they are in some damn tyler perry movie.

being overtly dramatic, all because they lack self love.

What i've learnt.

Relationships are hardwork.

Probably the hardest thing for someone like me, who has always had her way.

Compromise, Probably the 2nd hardest.

Being alone, the third.

Thats why you gatta have your own thing. so When you have to be alone, because he wants to watch football with his friends, you dont die of paranoia.

You have to be patient, lots and lots of patience, Not everyone would know how to Love you- Which is why you muct know how to lovw your self.

Albert E- If you cant explain it, then you dont understand it.

If you dont know how to love yourself, You cant teach anybody how to love you.

Which is sad, because you have just one mother, you gatta teach everyone else how to love/treat you. especially the one person who you are with most of your waking hours.

You have to let go. no point holding back- if it doesnt work out. It didnt work out.

Dust yourself up and try again.

And for fucks sake smile- You arent hawking Akara under ikeja Bridge.

( I should take this advise, Im always squeezing my face like somebody they gave shit to eat).

_______________________________________________________

I went into work today and this Manager, asked me for my Number,

He said he had missed me.

I swear i must be like an Aristo Magnet or something.

Tbh that shit freaks me out.

Why are you missing a random staff in your firm that you have never worked with?

Older men that chase younger women, lack self respect. looking for validation with a Younger woman would only make you broke.

AND, even if you gat it, Deeep down inside you know its tricking.

so I managed to leave the office without giving him my number.

But i know he wont stop till he gets it.

I hate how men cant channel the persistence they use to chase women who are offlimits into something productive.

We live in scary times.

My friend Asake- who i met through this blog and also twitter. but mainly through this blog.

Is best friends with one of my Lovers Ex's.

Just when you think you know- Life throws you a curve ball.

She( Asake) is cool about it tho- i tease her all the time about having conflict of interests.

She also happens to be writing ALMIGHTY ICAN next month.

yall remeber when i was writing that nasty Exam. I pray for her. for courage and resilience

professional exams drain one. in all sorts of ways.

Shit im rambling.

Ok.

My birthday wishlist

Amongst other things.

no need to doodle about here, lets get straight to the point shall we?

yes.

1. Ipod speakers.

I'm such a cheap skate, i've wanted these forever and yet i have been unable to buy myself one.

and i'd love to be able to play music loud from my speakerrrrsssss.

when i get one.

2. Earphones.

Preferably skull candy. but i"ll accept beats by dre, panasonic, sony and what not.

I just fucking need earphones.

As usual, the last earphones were a surprise gift.

which i was totally grateful for.

3.Blackberry bold 9900.

I want this. actually make that need.

this phone just reeks of sexy-ness. too sleek.

I love it.

Been combing the internet looking for a cheap one.

and i never comb the internet for gadgets.

4. Body Magic.

yes. you read right. actually in place of this i would take a cheque made out to my personal trainer for 6 months.

5. the boyfriend watch

long. before the era of boyfriend everythings, blazers, jeans. and waistcoats and shit.

i've always wanted the boyfriend toy watch

its actually my display picture on here. i love it.

6. Wii controllers in Red

Along with Mario kart, just dance and the Michael jackson this is it games. i got my console from the UK so im not too sure, if its NTSC or PAL? but just ask before you buy it.

actually i just want one controller. and it must have the added senstivity bit at the bottom. ( dont remember what its called)

7. Mac cosmetics

Im really dark, so eyeshadow, blush and powder in the range of someone who uses NW45 powder.

8. Pure gold jewellery.

( that spelling of jewellery looks a bit off)

i want white gold plain neck lace. and bracelet.

i also want a yellow gold neck and belly chain interconnected chain.- saw it in one rihanna picture. it looked stunning.

9.A carton of Alize.

I like to drink- socially offcourse, and i like to drink alize. both socially AND anti-socially. ( if that is the opposite of socially). so i want a carton that i can drink when ive had a bad day.

i would also accept a half a carton of Red muscadel and 5 bottles of Cafe patron in case of the carton.

10.Round trip ticket to firenze, dubai, NY, Londres.

i think that last bit was self explanatory. would use any airline asides "air afriquyah"

that airline is what the devil uses to bring the souls that he was won drown from earth to the bottom-less pit of hell.

side bar- i have missed blogging, so much has happened in these past 2 weeks, swift networks didnt allow me share.

would talk about them later.

OH MY BIRTHDAY IS NOVEMBER 2ND.

i just realized i didnt say the date.