Monday, March 26, 2012

i Like.

this post speaks to thousands of women out there.

I am excited about friday. so excited. i can hardly sit still.

and yay to dinner tomorrow with the Lover. *giddy*

My uncle thinks I am mad, because of my new choices.

I have told him, I am tired of playing it safe. I intend to live.

and he told me

Successful creative people are hardly rational.

so here is to irrationality!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Holiday-ing and Other cool stories

Today I visited the gym.

I hadn't been there in so long, it was amusing.

Luckily for me I didn't faint or anything remotely interesting.

I just noticed the turn out of the boys/men at the gym had really increased in the morning.


Might have to start drawing on my eye brows.

I mean I'd hate for anyone to see me without them, except the old fat wrinkly women there who have tattooed on brows.

I felt so great afterwards. My newest feel good song is " ALL the way" by Timaya.

I could totally take on the world and not break into a sweat.

Tonight I'm having friends over. and I'm so excited.

I ALSO. went online shopping again yesterday.

I swear I'm in serious trouble.

I have no idea when this madness is going to blow over.

I found the perfect dress for my friends wedding.

now all that is left is the perfect shaper.

I'm currently looking at body magic.

I have been looking for almost a year now and I'm dropping kgs like its going outta fashion.

That being said Oyinkan is Amazeballs.

What did she do?
I'll tell you next week.

But for now, Lets just say I'm interested in actively selling her market.

and to think I met her on the Twitter streets.

real diamond in the mud that one.

To other cool stories.

I have been yakking the Lover to head out to the gym since I can remember.

About 3 weeks ago, he started going to the gym.

and now he is a devoted treadmill worshipper.

How devoted?

yesterday he cancelled our Dinner plans. for the gym.

because he missed his Wednesday workout and decided to make it up with Thursday.

But Thursday was our pre-planned dinner date of almost 2 weeks.

Yes he knew that, but He couldn't just miss the gym.

And he knows I understand.

What I understood was that I had to eat microwaved jollof rice from the fridge.
after I don set belle for better Chinese dinner.

Cool story over.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

He is.

Im such an old soul when it comes to music.

None the less, ive found the perfect  description of the Lover.

In the chorus of Heather Headley's He is.

He is
The mind injector
The heart protector
The soul defender of anything I fear
The baby conceiver
The make me believer
The joy bringer
The love giver
He is
The dough increaser
The pleasure releser
The hard knocks knowler without the scars to show ya
The night school teacher
The good life preacher
The caretaker
The kiss craver
He is

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


The lover is all sorts of amazing. I am thankful he is in my life. And my friend Suyi does make amazing BBQ. Tonight was good. Online shopping will be death of my salary. Damn you Oyinkan. Damn you to hell and back.

Oppression and other cool stories

1st, I'm so glad to be home.

And while I didn't meet a welcome party at home(even though i pretty much snuck* into town)

I still expected banners and ballons and what not.

But I didn't get any.

Side eye to ALL my loved ones. and have a dash of shame to go with that.

anyways i went for the MK bake sale in the sheerest blouse I own.

Why? Last time I wore a lose ankara dress, and more than one person speculated that i was with child.

to debunk these rumours, i came naked as my birth day. or as close as i could without my security-men driving me back.

Ate lots of turkey, and Chicken.

People Suyi's BBQ is the way the truth and almost the newest gospel.

This Boy makes the bestest bestest BBQ in town.

I ran into a bulk of the Lovers friends. said hey.

AND one of them must have told on me, because 20 mins later he called " to find out where i was"

So to avert all damage I went by his place.

And ended up sleeping there.

I need to be more assertive and say NO.

Because I didnt plan to sleep there, i couldnt go to the gym on Monday am.

anyways, we are having dinner tonight, and i wonder if i should dress up.

or just go from work.

Im at the phase where i think i want to be dolled up most times when im with him.

Why? I have no idea. Infact it is extremely unlike me.

hmph. too many fashion and style blogs maybe?

I am losing weight. How much? a little too much.

I like it, Im fitting into size 8 dresses that i had given up hope on.

someone needs to have a kick ass party so i can wear one of these dresses.

speaking of parties, I intend to have a bunch of my friends over.

you know to fill me on on what i missed in the last month while i was out of town.

and to drink vodka with me.

and listen to me berate abuja men and thier lack of game.

Totally unpretentious no accents just alcohol and fun.


i was talking to my friend, who said, he broke up with his girl friend AND she came to his office with a knife.

to kill him and herself.

like i was speechless.AND IM NEVER SPEECHLESS.

we need to get a grip. too messy. too poor.

so yeah, im home. tired but not broken. and im home.

oh and why does this duken diet tell me my ideal weight is 67.9kg?

When in my mind 65kg is apt?

* snuck = is that a legit word?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


So my friend read my blog and was kind to forward it to me.

------Original Message------
From: Ani
To: MyProfile
Subject: Laundry
Sent: Mar 13, 2012 1:32 PM

Read your blog. I see you lost the chat. LOL. Here it is for records purposes.

Sir Skywalker, Ms Oreoluwa


Sir Skywalker:

Its a good one
Sir Skywalker:
Saw it yday night
Ms Oreoluwa:
Not talking about it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Forsome reason everyone has seen it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Awom spoilers
Ms Oreoluwa:
Sir Skywalker:
Sir Skywalker:
Ms Oreoluwa:
You never told me what you thought of my blog.
Sir Skywalker:
You never asked.
Ms Oreoluwa:
I assumed you were going to get back to me
Ms Oreoluwa:
After reading.
Ms Oreoluwa:
As I do after reading yours
Ms Oreoluwa:
Assumptions - the mother of all fuck ups!
Ms Oreoluwa:
Anyways *props pillow* regale me
Sir Skywalker:
Sir Skywalker:
Its quaint.
Sir Skywalker:
Ms Oreoluwa:
*side eye*
Ms Oreoluwa:
Good bye.
Sir Skywalker:
The name is rather intresting. I like. :)
Sir Skywalker:

Sir Skywalker:
Sitcho ass down
Sir Skywalker:
I'm not done
Ms Oreoluwa:
Ms Oreoluwa:
Ms Oreoluwa:
Ms Oreoluwa:
Ms Oreoluwa:
I assumed again. At quaint we'd be done.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Ms Oreoluwa:
*props pillow again*
Sir Skywalker:
I like the pseudo-vulnerability that characterizes your writing...
Sir Skywalker:
I say 'psuedo' because I tend to think you loathe the idea of being vulnerable...but your writing is naked. Unassuming. Almost like soliloqy.
Sir Skywalker:
Very simple. I like it.
Sir Skywalker:
Shows the gamut of thoughts that run through your conscious mind.
Sir Skywalker:
I noticed you have more posts on being thankful than any other categorization. That kinds shows your appreciation for life, regardless of the shit storm that it mostly is...I find that uber cool
Ms Oreoluwa:
Sir Skywalker:
But you still maintain that subliminal regal tone that is Oreoluwa.
Ms Oreoluwa:
This washing is amazing.
Sir Skywalker:
Its you. Its exquisite.
Sir Skywalker:
I like it.
Ms Oreoluwa:
Sir Skywalker:
There, I'm done.
Ms Oreoluwa:
*rinsed and clean*
Ms Oreoluwa:
See how I'm sparking.
Sir Skywalker:
Lmao! Clown.
Sir Skywalker:
Loooooool! Just seen your stat=))
Ms Oreoluwa:
Yes nowWwww.
Ms Oreoluwa:

My status was forget Omo, Ani does a better job.


How has everyone been? good?
I've been working terrible hours but I kinda like it.

I'm so gassed up about Easter. I may be going to Ghana!

Finally. it costs a pretty penny. But I work hard so. *shrugs*

The lover has a wedding in Abuja that weekend, and I do not want to attend it with him.

I'd just rather not attend it.

So I may be akwabba-ing you people tomorrow! * insert a bottle of excitement here*

Friday, March 9, 2012


So today, I remembered how I told myself this year, I would not complain.
But for some amazing reason unknown to me,
I have had ( or so I think) I have had reasons to complain.
From unreasonable deadlines.
To undue workplace pressure
To lord knows what else.

However today. It ends.

So Mr Devil try as you may. This girl is done complaining.

I am going to be thankful. thank you very much.


Because everything is working out in my favour.

Hard work, that has failed to kill me these past three weeks - have made me stronger

and sharpened my excel/computer skills and for this I am thankful.

I told y'all, no more rants/complaining from this end.

Even this wretched Mestrual pain wrecking my uterus right now,

I'm Thankful I am not with child.

Although 2 years from now. I will be thankful for missing periods.

For now I am glad to be seeing them. and I welcome the pain that accompanies it.

Gratitude all day. Everyday.

By the way I got on the band wagon of the ASOIAF. I am currently on the last available book

ASOIAF = The Game of thrones series in Paper.( its actually the book)

And while I'm not big on i-books, or E anything really. Im thankful because lord knows I wont have been able to lug around 5 big books.

Any way, in the book, there is this phenomenon where people can wear the skins of animals.

They are called wargs. Now this is the same phenomenon I read about in Jss2. in a book called " The bottled leopard" Written by a Chukwuemeka Ike( I think)

So this has me wondering.

Do people actually just wake up and enter the bodies of animals- Because they can?

or its the coincidental imagination of two distinct and different authors from across the globe?

while this doesn't keep me up at night.
I have given it a good amount of thought.

While I am insanely homesick. I am thankful for *gag* Abuja.

This weekend or the next I will take a leisure drive around the town and see what it has to offer.

seeing as my stay here has been extended.

What are you thankful for?

Friday, March 2, 2012

If I have any non Nigerian readers.-(Nigerian readers feel free to jump the 1st 8 lines)
That is a line from our newest ( youngest) scandal filled music artiste Davido.

Google him.

Now while two "smash hits" can dub thee a super star in Nigeria, I personally dont think too highly of davido.  Obviously.

But this Isnt about him. Its about a line from his first single- Back when.

All the girls dey wash me like OMO.

While Omo is the pioneer washing detergent in Nigeria, ( and is believed to be the best despite the influx of a million other powder detergents), Washing is a term loosely meant to indicate false flattery.

And Omo is supposed to be the best washing liquid. so if someone washes you with omo, Its safe to say they are seriously Lying to you.

Now that we have that Out of the way. In the last week, from Monday precisely, People have been washing me non stop.

Not just with Omo, but with the blood of the lamb that can turn scarlet as white as snow.

You dont believe me?

This is what my friend Ani had to say about my blog when I asked him what he thought
Oh shit, I deleted it, But best  believe the washing was rather intense.

The next day my darling The Wey called me and proceeded to Wash me even more thoroughly than Ani did.

talking about how He has plenty chocolates for only fine girls like me and shiii.

Now this morning, I went on twitter and Lo and behold,

The ultimate

Morning * insert twitter handle here*  U are one exciting lady who keeps me glued to twitter with your plenty owambe experiences and daily life hustle.

ps, I have a proper 9-5 and no hustle. but still. AND I DO NOT ATTEND OWAMBEs.- What is this dude on about? :s

No doubt you have got am amazing life ahead of you. Now I've being following you *insert twitter handle here* 4 some time now. Isn't it time u you reciprocated?

Damn i knew it was too good to be true.

But stil I'm giddy.

So how is every one feeling?

I am excited, i have no idea why. actually I know why- My work is moving fast.

Which means i need to do other people's work as well.

The reward for hard work is More work.

Don't let employers deceive you.

Emails at 1am

This week the love of my life Uloh was in town. Sooo we went out eating drinking running and just generally doing nuisancey shit around tow...