Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Merry christmas

To you and yours.

God's light shine on us all this delicious holiday season.

Im hurriedly packed and ready for my road trip that leaves in 10 minutes to my village for the birthday party of laiveee.

My grand mother turned 80 this year and my mother and her siblings are leaving no stones unturned.

Either ways

This year has been so good.

will be back to do a proper instrospective post when I return!

OMG work is so much! :(



Monday, December 15, 2014

Old years and new years

This year there are a few things I plan to accomplish.

The first one is to buy a house- Yes I think I am ready to take that step.

Second is to travel more in Nigeria; because of work I am fortunate to travel around - Lagos Abuja Portharcourt mostly. But this year I want to go to Calabar.

Also below are a list of all the cities/countries I want to see
-Dubai- because I have never been
Venice- Because I have never been
Morrocco- Because I need to have a PROPER HAMMAM BATH.
Monaco- Because P-square said so in collabo
Vegas- Because Hangover movie
London- Because Family
Paris- Because Paris is always a good idea.

This year I also want to get a gynecologist. and visit him ( obv not a her) every quarter.

Along with getting a physical check every year- including blood work and all that

I want to show my body love and care -since working out consistently is obviously not happening.

I also NEED to change my job. Why because I am burning out and I am not enjoying my life as much as I want to.

I also want to wake up at 5:30 daily, sometimes I manage to hit 6:30 but 5:30 is good- because all successful women wake up that early.

Also I had no idea that the world existed before 7am, blame my mother for living in ikoyi and my employers for having an office in ikoyi- I never ever came to work early. I woke up at 7 ish everyday.

Anyway that is neither here nor there.

All of this is in addition to being a kind person.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Most random things men have told me and other cool stories

Men like me.

I know how obnoxious and minx like that statement sounds but Nigerian men actually really like me.

For instance at the last TPL- I'm walking to my seat and then major holleration.*

* holleration is a word made legit by MaryJ- But I digress.

So they are screaming and I start smiling then laughing but they wont stop.

It is amusing- really amusing; worst part is everyone else thinks it's super funny.

fast forward to me getting to my seat; I ask Tobyyy (hey boo) - what was up with that and why me.

he said I can not explain it but men know the women they would hola at.

5 different women passed and he correctly guessed the women that would endure holleration.

Honestly I am a bit ( only a little) of an attention whore so holleration from men who want to "conversate" do not stress me too much.

However- there are somethings that men have said to me/somewoman I know; that cause me to be *gasp* speechless.

Last night I went to the spa and I really really really liked it- I wonder why I stopped getting massages and more importantly stopped giving them.

On my way back to further my enjoyment I was at the round about then someone hit my friends car- Yes It was a small scratch but what the fudge tho?

So she came down and the man driving the car said " Baby please don't waste too much time"

As per - yes I hit you but look; we are all in a hurry do not waste anytime just keep your shouting for another day.

Nigerian men are amusing.

This post can never be complete without my obligatory gym story.

Nigerian men at the gym are so fucking creepy.

Anyways- So Mr A see's me at the gym and does the whole song and dance about how I am so skinny and asks what I am doing at the gym and all that Jazz.

Then goes to offer me N100,000 if I can meet my weight loss target.

I would not tell you how this ended but it did not end well.

Then there is the man I met who promised to get me pregnant to keep me in his life.

I finally decided to start taking sexual protection seriously and roll around with my own condoms.

The occasional man who attempts to downplay the significance of the work I do and the fact that I earn my own way ( most times asides xmas)

And so many damn men.

Off the top of my head- men are say a lot of things to me but these are the ones that I can recall.

Also I am going to my first micro dermabrasion session tomorrow!

I am equal parts excited and nervous.

My body is so weird when it comes to beauty treatments. And for a long time I did not realise this.

My first hammam bath had be bruised and scarring in the worst possible place.

After which I went on a solo holiday and returned with a case of pityriasis rosea

Then I got my first brazillian wax ( let us just say that strips are fucking savage and never again) - although everyone swears by them- please give me hot wax any day.

After all these various incidents- I just decided that look- this shakara life may be for me in my mind but my body is saying no viciously.

Still I am excited about the micro dermabrasion.

Finally I miss abuja.

I know I can not believe it but I do- for me abuja has morphed into boarding house- a second home with a different set a rules; all your friends and no damn parentals( plus all these yummy men and my hotel room) LOL jk.

But really.

I miss closing work at 6pm and getting to my hotel at 6:15 pm.

Traffic free life is not a myth lagosians. It exists in abuja.

Monday, December 8, 2014


My life has been too full lately and for that I am oh- so thankful.

I have been lazing around ( working) and just generally being a baby girl.

Anyways I had a fraud on my Uk bank account= what is that thing about God giving grace to the humble and resisting the proud.

Dear Lord forgive my pettiness.

Anyways I went to the Hennssey Artistry concert over the weekend and OMG AMAZING!

I actually have some videos on my snap chat but I have no sound- My heart breaks for all the data I wasted sortingg that shit out


It was amazing. The concert opened with daddyShowkey then went on to baba fryo; then maverlous benji; then azadus; then styl plus then jazz man olofin  AND OLUMAINTAIN.

Olumaintain is such a baby boyyyyyyyyyy- he performed Yahoozee which is such a solid jam.

anyways Rugged man came ( meh)

Plantashun boys and wizkid were there too. can someone say nostalgia over load.

After which Eneni dragged us to sip ( I'm team Escape btw) so much space.

That sip is like hell fire.

So I decided NOT  to buy anything this month but all of a sudden; events are springing up everywhere but I am decided to attend only those I have outfits for.

I know I say I won't  buy anything everytime but I am proud to say as at 8th of December I am yet to buy one single item!


Also saturday was Tola's grandma'a birthday; small chops on fleek! and cake OMG.

I had no idea cakes and creams made such decadent cakes. I assumed it was only that ugly 3 roses cake that they made- turns out they have some interesting stuff up their sleves.

Either ways it was a good weekend.

On sunday My whole being hurt: So I turned to food in the form of Johnny rockets for healing.

The food was shit.

So shit that the person I went with said and I quote  ( ps- the statements I'm about to disclose are super inappropriate so if you might be tempted to leave any stupid comments now would be the time to stop reading)

Anyways so here I am eating my chilli cheese fries ( which is SHIT by the way)

And he tastes it. and we look at each other

and start laughing at how rubbish it is.

And he said - This thing is so nasty I can not believe you are actually eating this shit.

If I ever hear you complain about my sperm again...

And I'm like pause; how did we get here?!

Anyways I sha like the men in my life - but y'all probably already knew that. They are yummy and good to me

This is obv a preamble to them fulfilling my christmas potential wish list

Because baby girl!

Also the women are not left out of the gifts!

Y'all can buy me  presents!


Listening non stop to Baby all these nights I've struggled and fought my pride scared that someone your type couldn't s...