Issa Birthday Girlieeeeeee

 NGL, I was just like I will have a quiet birthday this year just thankful I'm in my new country and I don't even know anyone to have a party or a pot to even cook jollof rice for party ( Long story but when we moved here, I hated the pots so much, and the ones we saw that I liked a bit more were like $750 full price and $550 on sale, so I just ordered the set I liked from Dubai, they came to roughly $60; then sent them to Lagos for like $40, and I'm now waiting for them to arrive) as I said Long story.

Anyway, It was such a lovely birthday, I did laundry, watched some TV, PJ got me flowers, cooked me sea food pasta, and we spent the rest of the day in a vineyard just outside the city.

Which I felt was auspicious BECAUSE, I've always wanted to own a vineyard and a wine brand. Anyway my class mates bought me a cakeeee. Ekk

Pj was like how many days have you even been in the country that you have found people to buy you cake?

Me: what can I say- everybody LOVES ME. No but for real, I am really enjoying being here. It is even more individualistic that I could imagine and it makes me feel so so much pity for elder family relatives that moved before social media.

Crazy.

Anyway I ended up having 2 people over because not only is our flat tiny- we have only one pan so we could only cook enough for 4 people. LOL

It was great because then we took out time to study lyrics for the burna boy concert. Which I'd attending today after a mid term that I have. Honestly what I find so amusing about this country is how funny they are, tell me why my midterm was supposed to be last week but then they pushed it because- it was halloween.. I was like???

What?

 anyway mid terms in a few then Burna right after. Hopefully he gives us a GREAT show if not. Ela ojukan. 

Also, It is SO  quiet here.

I am thinking of beginning to foster dogs even though I have not adopted one yet.

Also I miss my dog soooo much. Urgh

Thats my baby FR. I'm thinking of moving him to be with me, But his new mother has REFUSED to release him :(

I remember looking through what my 5 year plan was at 30 and what my life looks like now, and honestly could never have dreamed up this life for myself. And for that we say- Thank you Lord.

Happy Birthday to Me. Here is to hoping the next 365 days all have fantastic blessings in them!

Knowing the God I serve they probably do.

One time for the Birthday Girl

*FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS FROM THE 3RD OF NOVEMBER* so im posting as is. 

I had the most delicious birthday yesterday and let me tell you, You all had better stop working on your birthdays!!!!!

My day started off with me on the phone talking to my friend who just had a baby and catching up with our other friend and it was just a great chat.

After which I went back to bed, then headed to the spa for a couple's massage, then headed to an all you can eat and drink lunch THEN went to the cinema to watch Black Adam- LOVED IT.

Then went to a new spot opening in Vi, Terrible location but lovely owner, hopefully he can swing the crowd to show up.

Then headed to dinner and had the most delectible seafood pasta, super loaded, but still can't touch the house.

THEN wanted to go see woman king but was so tired so I went home instead.

Absolutely loved the day I had because, 

31

No birthday wishlist or wishes this year, just to pass my exams.

I put love on my vision board earlier this year and then realized what I really want is tender romance and not love.

I have found expressions of love at every turn most days I leave home to head out from people I know and do not even know. So I know it is romance I want. a very specific kind.

I ring in the new year at sugar baby's house, and he asks me to stay. I say okay and go to drinks afterwards with The boy from a couple of posts ago. ( you know the one)

after which I go home to sleep.

I wanted a super mellow birthday because honestly between my exams and me mourning the life I assumed I'd be living at 31. I couldn't hack hosting or partying.

I mean I thought I'd own a house by now.

I keep wondering where I got that from or why I wanted to own a house so badly or why I've always wanted one but I'm drawing a blank. I sha want a house.

and another year has gone by and I do not own a house.

But on the same side, I felt so grateful and thankful.
A couple of things I started to do- be a lot more mindful of how I look, so less make up and zero filters.

Less validation from Social media, I started providing a lot more context in the stuff I share on any platform, but I realize people always like to play up certain things, I'm being a lot more deliberate with being honest with the portrayals on there.

For some reason I have not be able to look through and reply my whatsapp birthday messages.

I opened the first one from Yorubae, and burst into tears. It was a voice note from his grandma and she was praying for me and she asked me to be strong. and look forward.

And honestly It was the most welcome thing. As always before exams especially these ones, I have been nervous, frantic about my performance but that message was so reassuring. Like whewwwww.

A lot of people do not acknowledge the effort and time and strain that these take and out on me so I'm always so thankful when someone doesn't tell me- you are intelligent, don't worry.

I like when they acknowledge that I can be afraid and still move forward.

At brunch today, I met a french boy and told him about my favorite non sexual fantasy.

My self and partner who is a professor (???) and its late summer and we are in the back yard of our summer home and all our friends from around the world are around with their kids and then he brings out a bottle of wine unlabelled and someone asks  me about the wine because it is, and I tell her it's a sample we are trying out from this years harvest from the vineyard, and we all burst into laughter because - WTH?

And he said, then you'd need to move to Bordeaux. And I said oh that is where my current french lover is from.

So if this is a sign- Lord I hear ya.

Anyway my mother prayed for me for my birthday and prayed for me to never lose my sense of self and I remain the person who I have always been.

Through out this year I felt a  shift in my person  back towards who I used to be and I think she senses it as well. People always say divorce changes you.

Not all divorces then. LOL.

I had a shouting match with

Birthday Project

decided to stop calling my birthday documentary a Vanity doc and started calling it a birthday project.

First of all, this thing is expensive.
I've called in all the possible favors I can possible call in
and it's still expensive,

Do you know I need a stylist, a make up artist, a photographer, videographer, a director, a creative director to set the tone of the documentary, a second videographer.
I need to make food available for all my guests and vendors
Need to buy balloons for the shoot
need to get a speaker as well.

There is A LOT of work that goes into this.

I think I feel like I have bitten more than I can chew, but at the same time I'm like "whats the worst that will happen"

I have a new found respect for creatives who go out on a limb and do things like produce documentaries.

Anyway pretty excited, meeting with the creative director who is in the mix re: conversation above. and he seems pretty pleased.
Might be having a mini sleep over as well. but I think I need to start running or at least doing some exercise for my abs.

Will def be having a screening party once this is done.

Vanity Doc

So for the big 30. I'm getting a documentary made.

Its a very very big vanity project but its something I'm looking forward to.

while speaking to the person who will shoot and direct it, we spoke about themes and people who I'd want to interview and all that and I asked casually " do you think I should ask my ex husband to send in a clip?"

and he was like- Do you people speak?
and I'm like - lol nah, but he is someone who was in my life for 10 years.
it'd be odd to do a whole ass doc and just erase him.
and he said to me: You have to simplify your life.

And I'm like cool.

I mean if Eros asked me, I'd be like FUCK NO. But what is so strange is that someone who has been such a huge chunk of your life just vanishes. It's weird.

I mean I have other love interests that have morphed into friends that are going to either send in clips or be in the vide, but I am pretty excited about it.

Like I am looking forward to working on this project. Picking out the accompanying music; just getting the questions I will have the contributors answer, the friends I am going to ask to speak.

The tears I'm going to cry just watching it when it's done.

I am not looking forward to how much it will cost sha.

but I'm excited can you tell?

I have visions of an opening montage of me at my first birthday and zoom to my 10th and so on and just random casual videos of us dancing in the club and having a blassst.
I can not wait.

Also if you have random candid videos of you and I send them to me.

they just might make the cut.

The weekend and first date and the birthday count down.

My birthday is in T-3 days
You all know how exciting birthdays generally are, but I am amped up.
Decided to just ask everyone to donate money to  #TheBriconFoundation instead of stressing with presents that I will use small and then dash out or something.

I've never really been big on visiting oprhanages and doing the photo ops- even though I think they are a great idea, never really been my style. So I'm really excited that I get to work with breast cancer survivors.

what- I'm a boob girl through and true.

Party talk aside.

I went on a date this weekend.
because I don't go on a lot of these things I'm generally torn with what is appropriate and what is just down right stupid.

ps: Date told me I smiled alot but came across as cold, and when I asked him what I could do to be warmer he said nothing.
I will not be speaking to him again, because abeg no power.
Also I spent maybe 15 of the date texting my home girls about how much I missed the boy I liked but I do not speak to anymore.

It was a good date though. Music. Abuja nights. Wine and no one trying to grope me.

This weekend was BUSY.

Friday I went to Ijebu for my friends grandma's burial.
Saturday saw me on the first flight out of Lagos to Abuja for my friend M's wedding.
ps: I really like Abuja sha.

The wedding was really really good except I got there at the tail end, but got to spend time with the bride. She looked radiantly gorgeously stunning.

M- you make a beautiful bride and I wish you and Y- all the happiness in the whole wide world.

Birthday Wishlist

Everyone has been asking me what I want for my birthday.

well for the first time in a long time I'm having a party at home.

I love hosting- seemed like a good idea.

Without much ado let me tell you people what I really want.


A new car battery and a spare tyre.

I use a 12v 75amp battery and I think a size 15 rim tyre.


I don't want none of that N25k floral arrangement thingy.


But I think I want ballons sha. helium preferably.


A N20k voucher for my nail guy would be very welcome


N100k voucher for my fashion designer girl would be also very welcome.


Okay maybe N50k.


All expense paid vacation to Asia? or Italy in summer?

The actual physical copy of the new boyzIImen "under the streetlight" cd.

And three months of Yoga at my Studio. I think it's 40k.

There we have it.

Birthday wish list

Because what is a birthday without presents?

I will tell you- A BORE.

So without much ado-

1. Viktor and Rolf bon bon.
My friend Eneni has this scent and my GOD, it is divine.
100ml. Edp - obviously.

2. YSL mascara in shocking.
 I currently have the baby doll, and I am ready to take it to the next level.

3. Foreo lunar face wash

This is touted as the revolutionary and apparently the best face washer in the world.

meh- My skin is oily and sensitive so when you get to the store, make your you mention it.

4. BMS Indonesian massage session

I have been so stressed of late that- I need a full day pampering session just to unwind.

I like the BMS spa in Ikoyi; I have been there once; and the women were so good, I never fall asleep during sessions because I am always so scared that they would molest me ( Too much porn) However, when the women woke me up, I was not so mad.

5. White skinny jeans ( Inseam 36 waist 28/30)

Look I have searched high and low, tall girls get NO DAMN LOVE WHEN IT COMES TO PANTS AND MAXI's. Yes I am shouting. I honestly believe that white skinny jeans take you to the next level- ask khole kardashian.

Note that this photo is for illustrative purposes only.

6. Clinique Dark spot corrector.

Because lets face it. I am an Olympic gold medalist when it comes to picking at the pimples on my face. and HELLUR scars.

This serum actually works really well. 

7. Bang and Olufsen bluetooth speakers.

I am currently lusting for the beo play A8 in purple ( obviously); 

However since this is above my pay grade; I would manage the beats pill

8. Running shoes

Because I have let my body go. and my reverse cow girl is now shit since I stopped working out.

( I'm not playing here)

these look decent enough to make me want to wear them then work out- Hopefully.

Side bar- I need one of you fitness enthusiast to come and make my body his/ her ( his preferably) pet project. my body has so much potential I just like rice too much and late night dinners always have me like YASSSSSSSS. 

9. Tom Ford Tuscan Leather 

Three weeks ago, I ran into my friend and he smelt so damn good, and I know he used to wear Gucci pour homme, turns out he was wearing this fragrance.

fast forward to this weekend; I met my new almost Abuja boyfriend ( inside joke) and he smelt the exact same way. 

Suffice to say- I want to smell the same way- And I never want to smell like men I can not have but I am making an exception.

10. A sizable contribution to my next holiday.

My next holiday is going with the theme lavish with a budget. I have no idea how that would work but yeah that is in my plan. I plan to do a Lagos - London- Morocco- Canary Islands- Monaco- Paris- London- Lagos holiday.

Obviously by now y'all know I do nothing by halves. 

Do not worry I would take pledges and I wont call out defaulters. This isn't church you know?

Ps- crossed out items have been gifted.

Pss- If you want to buy them again, that is fine too.

Psss- I did not put up locations because we need to put in a little thought/ work into gift giving you know?

Pssss- If you do not really know where to get them from call me/ email me.

Life changing and other cool stories

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed- (Genesis 2:25 KJV)

So today instead of preparing my SRM, I was here trawling the interwebs, and who do I see?

This life changing blouse. I know I said I did not want anything for my birthday AND I know it has passed

and I know I have promised myself no more asos-ing till next month

-Side bar: Some of my goodies arrived today!

But this blouse is calling all my names, gbo gbo Yoruba o, ati Isoko pelu nick names sef.

I do not know what I am going to do. Worst part. The top is on sale, so I know it is going to go out of stock soon..

Infact there is no more 10, but that is cool a 12 works just as well.

Life changing blouse in all its Peplum glory.

So my dear readers, brothers, sisters if the good Lord lays it down in your heart to gift me this delicious blouse here is the link. Life changing blouse, go on click on it.

Plus the price is reasonable as fuck.

It's just that I have told myself- NO more.

But then again, are rules not meant to be broken?

I do not know. this blouse speaks to my soul.

Someone do something!

Skyfall, Birthday and some Carrie fever!

First Skyfall tomorrow!

Yay! While I'm not really game on Daniel Craig being the new bond, I have to admit the 50 years of Bond drama on Mnet all month has whet my appetite for the new movie. It premiers tomorrow I think, which is purrfect because

Second

Its My BIRTHDAYYYYYY! * Runs around in circles squealing*

I actually did not have Birthday fever until this morning when I got my 1st present.

HELLO FLOODDD GATES!

I just threw in the Carrie fever, because you know- a Sex and the City Box set would be nice.

I am so excited about my present because it is not even my birthday yet!

I have some random runs to get up to tomorrow- and my client has been on his best behavior all day long including yesterday. While I don't really like ass kissing, I must commend my client, Negro has mastered the art so well, I almost forgave him, Then I remembered.

And gave him small ela this morning- you know, just to keep him in line.

I can not wait to close from work today, And take tomorrow off and just rest you know?

Anyways I was trawling the webs instead of working- which is totally irresponsible because I have sooo much work to do, and I saw this
Why Nigerian girls find it difficult to get married

So I thought I should read it, you know since I am not married and I am languishing in the 9th circle of hades that is singledom. * insert eye roll here*

I was so irritated.

I always get irritated when I see shit like that- Like men really still think like this?

You know while I was on holiday, my family friend has a really good job and said he can not wait to marry a woman who is totally as successful as him. Why? I asked- I mean his mother is Igbo so I wrongly assumed he would be one of those men who want to just spoil women.

He was like " Hell no, If she has such a good job, Double Income household baby, 2 holidays a year, where we don't plan, we would put up a map throw a dart, pack our bags and hit the road or private jet- I don't care"

Men like that who see the big picture are those that make me happy to be female.

While I am not saying that women don't have bad xters or that women aren't frivolous. What is wrong in a woman making some decent money for herself and spoiling herself?

So when she pretends to love the pauper lifestyle during the courtship and she gets married and reverts to her " money to blow" lifestyle what happens then??

To men like the writer- all I have to say to you is this

Go hard, or Go home***.

 You can not be crying about rich women and be a pauper- Nobody wants your dirty stinking broke ass.

There is nothing worse than dating a man who gives you undue drama and is now poor to add to the equation. ( FYI: All men come with a healthy drama dose, do not be deceived)  The least you can do for yourself as a woman is to have some common sense to get a man who can look after you some economic power, and have something going on for you.

Okay rant over.

But really tho, I do not see the big fuss in getting hitched- asides the wedding which is absolutely delish and I totally enjoy.

And why do people always assume you want to wash/mark/celebrate/do something for your birthday?

For some of us, its a day of unmerited gift collection hopefully in Cash.

or Bags, because you know the right bag makes the world go round and round and round.






***= I hope it is large enough to push your unambitious ass to make something out of your broke self

Musings

I am not sure if I like preparing AFS's.

Like I can do them- which I am thankful for- but I'm lowkey beginning to detest them. lowkey.

Like repetitive dot com.

Thanks to spell check my spelling is actually getting worse.

I can not believe my birthday is here. Again- Already. LOL.

Time literally flew by this year. I am so looking forward to the induction. My friend is being inducted as well, so I have someone to sit with and crack silly jokes with.

Also I get two tickets to invite whoever I want. Since Mother dearest sits on the council. She would be there any way. Me on the other hand- I do not have two people to invite.

I wonder about the nature of people I have as friends, Or my nature in fact. How can I say I do not have two people to invite.

Actually I feel like I do not know two people who are friends but are important enough for me to include them in my induction. - excluding the lover off course.

Does this make me a bad person?

Maybe I hold people to such a high standard I subconsciously treat them like they wont ever meet up.

Or maybe- I do not want to get off my moral High horse.

Or maybe I have too many friends are are patron saints of loose lips and I don't to feed them fodder for thier disciples?

Or maybe I am so influenced by Nigerian movies that I am unable to share my successes with others but close family?

Or maybe I really am just a bitch- who stopped giving a shit ages ago.

I have decided to invite My mother and My sister.

When in doubt- Family. as shitty as they come- they never disappoint when it comes to important things.

Like taking Tuesday off to drive to Amuwo and just faff.- Listen to boring lectures and clap when I get called on stage.

Again- I am a horrible person. Sometimes I forget this. But on days like this- when I have to pick my brain and come up with things like this. I realise either I am terribly terrible OR terribly honest.

Because lets face it- I can not possibly be the only one who has these train of thoughts sometimes.

I have been so tired of late- I find it impossible to wash my face before going to bed.

or to change my clothes. or to even drive to work.

Two days in a row, a driver has had to bring me to work. I feel so drained. physically.

I am so super tired.

Must be the strain from all the flexing in port harcourt.

But good news- My mother said my skin is clearing.- She always says that about my skin.

Not like I have excellent skin, ours is just a case of land of blind.

My sister, Mother & I all have terrible skin. oily and acne prone. But amongst all three- I have been able to manage mine and keep it at the barest minimum thanks to mostly unsolicited advice from random strangers and internet forums.

I'm babbling- bottom line is this- in the land of blind one eyed man is king. that is the only explanation  plus I'm dark skinned. Dark skin wears acne and scars a lot better than light skin.

Now if only I can find an oil free moisturiser and a good powder for a dark skinned lady with a strong yellow under tone.

This birthday would be perfect.- Not like it isn't already.

I have achieved all I have set out to do a year early. Now I have to set new goals to fulfil myself.

Clearly a good amount of my self worth is hinged to my personal successes.- Only because I have no idea what else to hinge them on?- Faith?, Relationships?, Friends?, Personal belongings?- Probably because those things all have determining factors beyond my control, BUT achieving my goals- all on me. And I have made it a point of contact to deliver consistently- not for anyone really. more for myself. I live for meeting dead lines. and glasses of moscato with the lover at 3am in the mornings.

Does this make me strange? Possibly. We can't all be the same now can we?

*makes mental note to order 6 bottles of moscato*