Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Academic writing

As a blogger who has somehow felt the need for punctuation could always be overlooked by a very interesting narration- the end time has come for me.

In the form of academic research writing.

Critical and analytic thinking/ writing

I CAN NOT tell you how many times I have heard that phrase today.

It haunts my very day dreams of bamboozling my lecturers with beautiful narratives of how underdeveloped my poor Nigeria is and how I intend to swoop in and save it.

Unfortunately- That will not fly

Fortunately- I discovered this early enough and enrolled for a free* one on one teaching session with an English professor at Edinburgh University.

At my first class- I realized how I had such a long way to go and finally realized why all those academic online journal articles save the economist were overtly boring to read.

Let us just say- you will experience a change in my writing as I shall be coming here to try my hand on some of the stuff I need to present.

Not for critique purposes, but if anyone has so much time and would love to print out and review or make corrections to one of the writings please be my guest. Just somehow find a way to get back to me (psst Skype?)

I welcome such actions with open arms.

After all, we are but pencil in the hand of the creator.

* I love how I keep finding free stuff to better your self and improve your skill set in my University and since its free the awoof lover in me just could not resist.

Monday, February 25, 2013

10 people you'd meet in Nigeria

Real Quick.

I like Sugabelly. Even more than I like her, I like her work.

Especially this one

Go on. Click it. You know you want to.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Better person

This year, I decided to be a better person.

What do you mean by better person?

I mean- The old me wasn't bad by any standard or anything but I definitely wanted to be nicer
Not like I wasn't nice or anything.

Actually I was not a nice person. and I could not be bothered about being a nice person until I moved here.

You see- I already had my own little circle of friends/ people so I never had to ever really go out of my way to be nice to or like people.

Until I moved here and realised that to meet people- You have to be nice.

You see life really IS all about perceptions. especially IF you do not know who you are anyways people would tell you this is who you are- and you'd believe it.

Only because you do not know sha. If you did, and the people around you did you'd know there is no need to worry yourself about the perceptions because they KNOW YOU!

But you move across the world and it is a totally different ball game.

Usually I'd resort to manipulation to meet these people and make them like me- Because more often than not, they would not like me- Then they eventually see how nice a person I am. and Like me.

But only if they stick around- While this method is tried and tested- I have to large a course load to concern myself with game of throne - like manipulations.

So I am just going to be nice.


And because I have become nice, I feel like I have become a much better person.

Than I used to be.

I have no idea, how or why? but either my mind is playing tricks on me but I am feeling much better.

Who could have thought smiling at random people when your eyes meet, could bring you so much * insert betterment feeling here*?

Well who ever did, didnt tell me.

I mean I am still WIP But I love it.

Lent is progressing fine guys- Thank you soooo much for asking- I find myself stuffing my face all night and plauged with indisgestion the next morning.

OOOOHHHHH I was going to tell you guys about my night out yesterday- But I do not know how i ended up talking about niceness.


Who ever finds a way to paint his/her nails without painting her flesh needs to teach me. sometimes-  I get it right. some other times, Its almost as if i set out to paint my whole finger- flesh and nail.

Beauty IS pain. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Today, I did something that I would never ever have done in Nigeria.

My teacher lecturer was explaining how to prepare a cashflow and the whole class was struggling and not getting it.

So one Ghanaian boy just put up his hand and said " I do not understand"

So I put up my hand and said " Could I explain it to him, because I kind of understand, why he does not understand"

Everyone was like *pause* *insert nervous laughter*

And the lecturer said " It is nice to know I have an assistant here so I can relax while she carries on"

Perhaps my scarf was on too tight because the sarcasm in his voice was excessive but I persisted

I said " But can I?"

And I killed the explanation. Totally. When I was done- the class clapped.

I was trying hard not to cheese.

But all those weekends spent at Maryland doing ICAN lessons were not in vain.

I just felt like- This was what those classes were about?

  You know?  Not passing the exam, but 4 years later coming to do your masters AND explaining the simplest form of cashflows to Ghanaians.

And when the class was done clapping- the lecturer said " I hope you do not think I would explaining things in as much detail going forward" pointedly staring at me.

I was still cheesing then Mo said " Hollywood, you do know he has a crush on you right?"

I am so excited about this course. I am really excited when I am the best at what I put my hands at, even though I love numbers and they are my bitch.

I honestly should not be this excited because if I could not explain that- My degree should be seized.

Doesn't take away from the excitement sha.

I am aware that what I did- is severe Oversabi but I just could not help myself.

I might have to put a lid on my ITK behavior.

How was your day guys? Make any life changing moves today?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

In the last few weeks, I have suffered insomnia. Unable to sleep for no just cause.

In the last few weeks I have gone back and forth about an issue in my head.

I'd hate to think the over thinking and the insomnia are related.

But irrespective of what I'd like to think- they most probably are.

Today saw me with equal parts restlesness and equal part tiredness.

I was suffering another bout of insomnia AGAIN tonight- after having a particularly laborious conversation which was supposed to give me closure- But just ended up helping me make up my mind.

A bit faster than I intended.- But that did not take away the insomnia.

at 12:25 I decided to do a bit of running to clear my head.

45 minutes later, Legs aching and new found knowledge of the streets around my house

Still no sleep.

So I decided to make a call.

Recipient did not pick up.

So here I am. 1am  and I still can not sleep.

I wonder if they would sell my codeine without a prescription?

Monday, February 18, 2013

Being Nigerian

Being Nigerian has become hard, not because our Nigerian boys here stay falling hand, or our President's wife dies and wakes up after 10 days.

Being a Nigerian is hard because the statistics are daunting and terrifying.

It is hard coming here, and hating it here BUT not wanting to go back home, because there is light, water and  so much ability it is possible to plan your day.

It becomes even harder when your Philippines( or is it Filipino) lecturer is describing subsidy fraud to the whole class and Nigeria is the example- And when you finally listen to an educated economist break down all the variables and how the Nigerian market's own is- Then you know it is time to apply for " American Visa lottery"

It is hard when I'm having conversations with Q and Mo and shale gas comes up and they are so excited about the prospects of America becoming energy independent and since America and China are 70% of the worlds demand of oil- economies like Nigeria would crash.

And when they look at me- I just say " Oh we'll export agriculture" even though I do not believe it.

I honestly have no idea why this research is making me so sad- I am writing a report on the Subsidy scenario in Nigeria AND to be honest- what I am seeing is making me so embarrassed.

Like literally- I just want to be Ghanaian or something.

And nobody wants to be Ghanaian. Even the Ghanaian do not want to be Ghanaian.

That is how embarrassed I am.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

What someone really means when they text you

Because meeting people sucks and drains all my energy, this video is amusing.

Honestly we need to be careful what we wish for.

Last night there was a noisy wretched Nigerian party opposite my house just blasting Alingo and the likes away when I tweeted about how much I wanted to call the cops to shut it down

30 Minutes later the cops came to shut it down ( whoever called, thanks for allowing the universe to use you to make me happy)

5 Minutes later after putting up my quickie post- This random " Nigerian" boy in class messages me to tell me he is outside my house

( I swear guys after this incident- I am going OFF  Nigerian guys totally and I would gist you people about this particular one)

Anyway I tell him its past 2am in the morning what are you doing outside my house.

He must have had 2 much to drink because he was chatting some major shit about me being lucky he didn't know my flat or he would have come to disturb me.

At past 2am in the morning.

Yes Dear Universe, I did want a Quickie But from someone else. Urgh

I am taking rust geek's advise and sneaking across the pond- Can't be allowing the devil have access to by thoughts because of random bouts of sexual frustration.  You know?

Anyways I'm unsure about the new layout. But I can not be bothered to deal with it- Hopefully I'll get used to it.

Meanwhileeee "KEEEEEK". I have just one question- " Why does everyone have an accent on keek?"

Friday, February 15, 2013


I do not want to be loved.
I just want a quickie
No bite marks no scratches no hickies
I don't want to be loved
I just want a quick fix.

I have no idea what I was thinking when I was coming here and trying out a long distance relationship.

Right now- I just want a quickie * goes into fetal  position with bottle of alcohol*

Thursday, February 14, 2013

We Love Because

Nature is a manifestation of the Love of God. Regardless of what we do, Nature continues to love us.
Let us, therefore, respect and understand what Nature teaches us.
We love because Love sets us free, and we say things that we once never even had the courage to whisper to ourselves.
We make a decision that we kept putting off.
We learn to say ‘No’ without thinking of that word as somehow cursed.
We learn to say ‘Yes’ without fearing the consequences.
We forget everything we were taught about Love, because each encounter is different and brings its own agonies and ecstasies.
We sing more loudly when the person we love is far away and whisper poems when he is near, even if he doesn’t listen and pays no attention to either our shouts or our whispers.
We don’t close our eyes to the Universe and then complain: ‘It’s dark.’ We keep our eyes wide open, knowing that the light could lead us to do undreamed-of things. That is all part of love.
Our heart is open to love and we surrender to it without fear, because we have nothing more to lose.

Culled from http://paulocoelhoblog.com/

I love how beautifully he writes. :) Always so blown away at how in tune he is with the earth.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013


For God has not given you the spirit of fear, But of power, love and a sound mind

When you have fears- you are irrational- you are paralyzed.

You would not think straight. You are distracted worried about the wrong things, invariably giving off negative vibes to the universe and attracting that very thing which you fear.

Now this can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how to react to this.

When something you fear finally happens to you- Losing a loved one, failing at school, not winning the lottery ( I do not know people have different fears)

The first thing you realize is the world doesn't stop turning. No, It keeps going on and on and on. So while you are sitting in a corner the best bits of your life are going past.

The second and probably most profound is that you are quite equipped to deal with the scenario. Somehow, Somewhere you find reserves of strength to pull you through this horrible event- be it in friends, activites or even personal well of strength

And this leads me to the third, while we love to wear our scars from these events- we find that, They weren't really that big a deal. At this point, you can laugh, not the alcohol induced laughter that we find ourselves accustomed to BUT laughter " wey dey start from bottom belle" and then you know you are fine.

You being to acknowledge that you will always be fine, because if this did not kill you- It finds a way to make you stronger.

And if you are like me- You learn to laugh in the face of fear because- It has done its worst and its worst did nothing to you.
 You are still here, standing and fine.  

And you choose courage, not because fear is an  unattractive choice , but because it did you no favors the last time you sucumbbed to it. So you chose courage because it is a easier choice,
 You had no choice and you were courageous, now you do have a choice it is an easier one to make because somehow courage is becoming a more comfortable cloak to done than fear.

And slowly, since habits are formed repeatedly from actions and choices you find yourself courageous.

And eager to take on the world like I have.

Happy Valentines day. :)

Love. Flowers and no lunch dates ( Because it is lent)

Monday, February 11, 2013

Not over you.

I have actually blogged the lyrics of this song.

But sometimes, you get a ministration and boom!

You can't stop listening to it.

If you ask me how I'm doing?
I would say I'm doing just fine-
I would lie and say you are not on my mind
No matter what I say- I'm not over you.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Valentines Day

Long distance relationships are the worst thing.

Because I am away I'm just going to buy 2 cupcakes for Q and Mo.

and watch them eat it. Because- It would be the 2nd day of lent

and we all know the 2nd day of everything is always the hardest- gym, lent, diets, everything really that makes you a better person.

Hope you had a good weekend guys.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

White Men

Ps : I am a Nigerian woman so when I say white men, I do not want you to imagine me as a woman of the night/ runs girl seeking better market.

Now that we have cleared this up.

When Black women say- they would rather date white men, I think OMG how can you say that, they are one kind jare.- Because all my white clients are one kind.

Anyways I have 2 more friends to add to the 3 I already have( I'm not trying to amass or anything)- But these two are white men.


( I imagine mercy Johnson saying that- if you have seen the movie, you will get my point.)

So anyways these are my class boyfriends- You know basically your male friends in class. like office boyfriend, camp boyfriend etc etc.

Boyfriend A= Mo. Boyfriend B= Q.

Mo, lebanese has amazing hair and is nice.
Q, American is almost bald and is oh so sarcastic its amusing.

Enough about them- Let me tell you about today. Since the class I had today we were supposed to form a group ( another group work- urgh) I mentally prepared myself for the trips that Q might use me to catch when I asked him later on.

So I got to class and asked Mo. Conversation went something like this

Me: Hey, Do you guys have a group for this class.
Mo: Hollywood what do you mean you do not have a group, What group were you talking about yesterday.
Me: Err Energy economics- duh
Mo: OMG.
Me: Dont tell me you have a group already, oya how many are you?
Mo: 5
Me: You cant be five, you have to be 4.
Mo: I am so sorry I thought you already had a group. I thought you formed one without me and Q, so I told him yesterday and we formed one.
Me: You told Q I already had a group and you guys didnt ask me you just went and formed one?
This is why you will always be second to Q.
Mo: The more I speak to you, the less I like you.
Me: Q, so Mo tells you I have a group and you run off and form your own?
Q: You do not have a group???

Me: YOU GUYS!!!!!! What is all this assumption about? Infact you know what- I am going to find my group.

Mo & Q: Dont worry, we'll sort you out.
Mo: The lecturer has a little crush on you, maybe you can ask him if we can be six.

Me: Really Mo, really.
Mo: I see him making eyes at you and talking to you in class and asking your opinion.
Q: Its enough Mo, we get it. Besides, Hollywood is a rockstar, she probably doesn't need a group.

During the class turns out we can have ONLY 4 people in our group. which means they have to
a) lose one person from thier group
b) Lose two people and add me
c) Just get new groups.

I mean because it is just group work, there is pretty much no need to lose this much sleep over it. So I tell them, guys, its cool, I would ask the exotic looking guy which really nice hair over there.
Q: Over where
Me: No, not the one in red pants- the fancy looking one
Q: Rezzo, thats better, you can ask him, But you do not commit to any group or anything without talking to me first.
Me: Yes daddy
Q: I think my temperature just went up.
Mo: You guys have this thing going on, and I Like it. Because you see, I like weddings.
Q: I'm serious, do not do anything without talking to me.
Me: Okay guys I'd love to stay and chat
Q & Mo: But you have to go to the gym.

I swear I feel like i have known them forever, we have the most amusing conversations- but Today's own just mentally crossed them over from class mates to friends/ class boyfriends.

Honestly I have my Nigerian male friends I have such conversations with and its nice and all that ( hey Ani)
But not every Nigerian female has platonic male friends, so I kind of get where the women are coming from when they meet these oyibo ( non creepy ones) who are easy to relate with and would rather date them than Nigerian men, who lose sleep/ cheat on you because you did not serve them food.

I wanted to add something else BUT I have to race to the gym AND I am tired of typing. :)

Video post maybe?


Tuesday, February 5, 2013


 I had no idea this song existed until tonight and
 I can not get over what he sounds like. 
 This might be love people. This might just be love.

Monday, February 4, 2013


Because writing is sooooooo last year.

In the audio, I said I would do a transcript, but I listened and it sounds quite clear so I am not doing one, and I just cant be bothered.

After you listen to this you'll know why I am not a fan of telephone hook ups!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Street Credibility

I can't deny God's blessings in my life.

If you wan Blow, Omo na turn by turn
Beg baba God make e reach your turn.

Ps: I could not find a clear video of this song on the webs- so I have to make do with this one.

This reminds me why I absolutely Love Tuface!


Ask and it shall be given unto you

Today I went out and decided not to spend more than £100 shopping.

I managed to spend only £90. So I am quite proud of my self.

Meanwhile at the shop- I signed up for some reward card so I could get a discount on a bag that has become my school bag.

After filling out the form.

I meekly mumbled to the store attendant " Do you offer student discounts?"

Why yes we do- she replied may I see your student card.

In the last one month, I do not think a moment has passed that I have been happier to be a student.


As the Lord  said.

Ask and it shall given, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto you- Matt7:7.


Listening non stop to Baby all these nights I've struggled and fought my pride scared that someone your type couldn't s...