that serves as a reminder. when dealing with boys.
four years ago, i was in a relationship. that was a waste of time.
to day i want to revisit that relationshipo and what it means and meant to me.
first i settled.
yes he did not derserve me, i mean you know when someone deserves you. this boy did not deserve me. and i knew this without him sliping up.
his mother hated me. ladies, if his mother dosent like you, and you are not intrested in kissing ass to an igbo woman, dont bother. blood pressure at a young age is not cute. and trust me, mothers od boyfriends= blood pressure. all the time. except off course you are as evil as some people i know.
i let the gifts carry me away. and i know many of you will berate me. but whatever, he was dating me and buying me gifts. and i was taking.
my mother said its rude to reject stuff. and it is very bad to be rude.
i walked outta there an even worse person than i was when i met him. i cannot say i am a better person as a result of having him in my life. infact i can relate him to the effect my Uni had on me. kinda like a waste of my freaking time.
anyways thats all asides the point.
last holiday i had, i was supposed to be gone for eight weeks. 4 in america, 2 in london, 1 in paris and 1 in either milan or spain. boyfriend dearest said it was too much time to be away from him and cried and cried and cried about he was gonna be a lone and what not. so like a good girlfriend i gave up the paris and milain journey. i love fashion, but mother said those were the only two i could forfeit. so my fab 8 weeekshoilday turned into 6.
i am not complaining. he came to meet me at the airport and what not. so at the airport, there was this boy that had been giving me the eye. turns out my brother knew him. as did i. when my brother was in his former secondary school. ( in Nigeria its kinda ok to switch kids from school to school). he was the owner of the phone i used to call my brother on.
this boy was mentally undressing me with his eyes and soon we got talking.really talking. and off course like the good girlfriend, i was quick to inform Zer.( lets call him that) that i was in a long term relationship and what not. anyways.Zer wasnt to bothered.
since he liked me, we hung out a lot. he kept telling me" you knoe your man is cheating on you right?" and im like nahh he is straight.
and he said" leave him for me". me : *side eye*. leave me jo. and thats how we went on and on.
he met my mum, took me shopping. i met his mum, she loved me. like totally LOVED me. ( and knowing how hard it is to get a yoruba woman to like you, this was manna from heaven) anyways i kept saying nooo. even though my body wa saying yes!!
so i went to london 2 continue my holiday, and Zer never stopped calling me. infact he became very sure he wanted me.
so sure he wanted 2 see me before he came home for christmas.
so he intvited me to see him.
by now i was alone, bored and broke in london. everything was routine.
but i had a boyfriend. see i was goin to be faithful. so i told Zer that america was to far. and told him off, thinking he'll be mad.
next day this convo took place.
Z: hey babe.
P: hey im sorry 4 screaming at u yday, i was just about...
Z: Paris. come to Paris, America is too far come to paris.
** thinking**: ewo one chance!!! all these yankee boys sef. shebi they cant vex ni, ahn ahn after i sparked for him yday he still wants to see me.
Z: i know we both have schengen visas.
P: err but i said i wasnt going.
( i told him i was supposed 2 go 2 paris but changed my mind last min, i didnt want 2 be away to long from my babycakes, in my defence it was a 13hr flight and we were seated next to eachother)
Z: i know you wanna go, i know you have a bboyfriend that you want to marry, but i just want to see you.
P: sweets its a lot more complicated that than.
Z: i know you like me, just come, paris is about 40 mins away. its not to far.i'll have you back in two days.
P: im sorry i cant. not that i dont want to, i just cant.
***thinking*** shit see this hot hot nice young man, who wants to spoil me in the city of love and im here saying no. na wa, i have a boyfriend.
and i know your thinking nothing goes for nothing abi?? well i had worked all that out. "the red robot"
so ZER and i kept in touch. he came home last christmas, hell bent on marrying me, but that is another story.
so after buying babycakes heaven and earth and remaining faithful and passing up on Zer, i get back to hear the wonderful news: he got someone else pg in my absence.
lol, ok i kid, he was screwing some other "people". when i found out, i calmly asked him. he didnt deny it.
and since i ahd already given him his stuff and my birthday was around the corner, i said...whatever i'll stay. so i stayed. and those were the best 2 months onf my almost 2 yr relationship.
i was just bidding time till my birthday, and since he was trying to get back in my good books, i just let him keep trying.
on my birthday i was at the hospital and he didnt call or show up. 2 weeks later i got my gift. what i wanted. so i wasnt bothered.
3days after my friend Bobo took me to see, our friend.. who is now my lover.
he used to be a former flame, but we fell out and blah blah blah.
he had been trying to see me, and i kept giving him that " i have a boyfriend line"
well i didnt have a boyfriend anymore so i said whatever i'll come see you with my friend. what i didnt tell him was that my friend was a boy. but that is another story.
i wasnt going to snooze on this one. besides he had been chasing me forever. plus do you know how hard it is not to find me? like we both lived on the island, had the same circle of friends and i avoided him like a plauge. but then i had a boyfriend...
well christmas came and babycakes said we werent dating anymore. i said ok. but we remained friends.
Freinds: the ex that became my personal driver, and choclate cake buyer, and what not. he also got me something really cute for christmas. i cant remeber, oh a watch, the next day i let it at new lovers house. till this day it hasnt been found. lol.
so after a while my "friend" became upset that I who he broke up with was seeing someone else( i wasnt seeing anyone) so he started acting funny. didnt stop him from dropping me off at new lovers guest house all the time tho. yes i am funny like that.
after a while he stopped talking to me. *rolls eyes* good riddance to bad nonsense.
anyways babycakes, still wants to be "friends" the other day he emailed me. honestly i drive now, so his friendship services are no longer needed.
so i guess the lessons i learnt are numerous.
1. dont settle.
2. be choosy about your men
3. keep the gift buying to the minimum
and most importantly
when u find someone that wants to take you to Paris.. for Gods sake... dont be stupid like me. pack your bags and goooooo!!!
and i have found the perfect im gonna make mistakes and just be there for me song.
beulah - sweet kinda something.
the chrous goes like this:
because a sweet kinda something got a hold of me
and even if i fight it, it wont let me go
cant you see??
everyody gotta fall in love
and live every moment like its never enough
one day i may say what was i thinking off
everybody has got to take this road.
do try to listen to the song. and be easy on your friends..:)
a very repentant.
sowi its a long post. :)