Thursday, June 3, 2010

relationship expert 2.

how to keep a man stolen or not.

STEP ONE.
actually own a man.... yes your own not someone elses own.. how you chose to go about it is your business, but it isnt a rumour it is true, all men are the same, and one womans trash is another womans trash collector. yes men are like that. ( dont try to see reason to that)

now off course its only fair to lay ground rules for those who actually want to keep thier man so yes this is it.

a) keep it fresh, sexy and hot.
yes hit the gym if you must, as unrealistic as it sounds, he wants 2 remeber what or rather who he got attracted too. the pretty girl with the smile and blah blah blah.
so this means he will slowly discover the real you and what you look like, but he would love to keep this discovery to himself. yes men loooovee to brag about thier women, how the hell do you think they rationalize taking you to the salon, or actually letting you get that weave they hate so much. yes so that when his homesboys see you and whistle, they would be like OMG you are soo lucky you babe is HAWT! he wont say that ugly girl that wears hairnet and snores, and blah blah blah you get the point. ladies you have to keep it sexy and sexy and even more sexy, men are visual animals.

b) confidence.

he is yours and he isnt going anywhere( well not until that slimy man stealer comes along and digs her claws into your man) confidence is uber sexy. ikid you not. not all that blond dumb shit you see paris trying to make look cute( i know we all saw thatE!'s 5 steps to be paris) no the kind that knows her stuff, i mean you are doing your thing and he is complementing and not completeing you. yes you will change to make adjustments but you wont lose you to him. because you are confident in who you are. you may not be the prettiest girl but confidence will get you along way. you know how they say an ugly girl starts looking good after a couple of drinks in the club, confidence does that to you.
beware: there is a thin line between confidence and corky.

and if you are corkey= mrs independent and bam! you will be the one everyone wonders how you managed to get a man in the 1st place. trust me thsi will make your man a very easy target.

c) know your man.

he hates trousers, for fucks sakes shave your legs and wear the damn skirts!! all that talk of how it isnt you will get another person (20%) to pop up and skirt you man away from you. yes relationships have been lost over even less fickle things.

he likes tennis, girl u better tink nadal is the hottest thing to hit planet earth, BEFORE sliced bread.

basically know what he likes and as much as possible try to get to it.
offcourse since men are dogs you know his gonna try and pull some fast ones, like asking for a 3some. tell him the get the fuck away from you and cry a river.

if he is the type of man that tears move. as i said know your man, or some1 else will.

d) support your man.

yes you want all the jewels from persia and what not. you gatta support him. what ever his hustle is. if he sells "beans cakes" suggest he puts egg instead of cray fish. you get my point. yes there are women that have managed to lose thier men over nagging.

please cut out the nagging.

e)know your self and be yourself.

i know how much we all want to be beautiful in the eyes of the ones we love, but when you know and love yourself, then you can love another properly without resentment.

f) love, thank and appreciate your man.
growing up, my mother told me never to marry for love. she and all her friends said, marry a man that can look after you, and you'll grow to love him. i dont know if this is true, beacuse i havent been married but i think there is some truth in that, if you have some one that looks after you and your kids you will appreciate them, and appreciation would leave to affection which would lead to love.

g) law of attractio.

if you think he is gonna say, he is gonna stay.

thats alll i can think up right now.
DISCLAIMER:

if all of this do not work email me "iamhrs@ymail.com." to hook you up with my babalawo, yes ke. i have a baba. and he is very good. infact, he uses the ipad to consult ifa,and yes it is my money, actually it is my man's money but whatever.

also there are some men that will never be yours because they belong to other people that have used babalawo to hold him. these are the kind of men that afmag yoruba movies are made off, flee, lest all the male children in your womb be stolen by that other womans babalawo.

im sorry i have no real deep advise on how to keep your man, but if you have got a good man, its advisable to love, cherish, respect and support him. even more important that sex, men love respect( RIP pastor Bimbo). i also advise you to get pastor bimbo dvd's on single and married. lol.

and all that cosmo talk about "communication" with your man, odds are they wont work with nigerian men, you'll come off as needy and depressed.

i hope you email and askfor my baba beacause i cant swear by any other way. lol. but seriously though, relationships are hard work, and if you dont lay down a plan odds are you will be alone for a very very very loooooooooong time. especially if you arent miss Nigeria, and even those ones sef,dem no to dey marry like that.

Godbless. you and your man.
pussyKat.x

1 comment:

jacque.osu said...

lovely lovely lovely blog.so indirectly,we shud change ourselves for our men??except i'm misunderstanding sumfin here...what if we do all these "adjustments" n they dont reciprocate?coz i'm sure i wont mind him adjusting som finz too...ada osu

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