Tuesday, June 1, 2010

relationship expert

i woke up by 5am this morning. yes its kinda like the pattern i used 2 live wen i was reading so the body is still adjusting, at times im awake by 5am. most times 5:11 am.
so i had these thots running through my mind. (actually it takes me about 30mins to convince my body that im done reading and i can sleep in peace and all that) so in that 30 mins, this is what i was thinking. or at least the bits i can remember.

i have single friends, and they have no plans to meet anyone. what is wrong with you people, you think the men would come and meet you

actually the do.

do you people realise that the ratio of men to women is about 1:200. ok i kid. about 1:20. that is if u want a decent man. if we include the useless men ita aout 1:5.

anyways so they still dont have a plan. and believe me, he or rather she whho fails to plan plans to fail. moving on.

so i say what do u mean u dont have a plan, she says all the good men are taken.

and im lkike AND SO????!!!

err im not ready to be anybody 2nd girlfriend, and im like bitch you dont even have a toaster. besides everybody does have a girl friend.

reallife example. the only friend i have that wears a ring is boobsy*. so missB told me and i quote" oh mr D had a girl friend when i met him, but i didnt concern myself with that, i focused on becoming wifey and in say 2 months, he left her for me" high five. you notice how she didnt say i joined his other girlfriend and became " iyawo kekere?"

thats what all these girls do not understand. i believe men are as simple as it gets. there are the womanizers, the talkers and then the doers.
there are also hybrid versions, the womanizer-doers, the womanizer-talkers. but the fact remains that no matter what kinda man he is, if he wants you he will leave her ass for you.

off course if he is a womanizer he will lie thathehas left her and string you along, these kind of men there is no hope for thier kind. flee. they are also the most attractive. dont ask.

anywyas the problem with single girls these days is all this Miss independent talk. yes trust Nigerian girls to take it up a notch.."mrs independent" they act as if no man can toast them and most times, no man will. nigerian men have enough already as it is, they do not need you ass going all dramatic on them. except helikes drama, then stick to dat. it will keep him on his toes.

so back to Nigerian man stealers, the problem that most of them have is this...

they have nothing to offer. lets face it, he has a girlfriend, that gives him everything he wants, u are going to have to up the ante. yes you heard me. when he has met you watch out for the tiny 20% his girlfriend isnt giving him. trust me when a man is getting 80%, that 20% he will never get looks so good. that should be you. if his girlfroend, cant cook. u learn how to cook. if she hates eating out, you'll love it. silly little stuff like that. men are very fickle especially the nigerian man. yes yall are hard working and all that but you know you people are fickle.

(shout out to all nigerian men that are looking after thier families abi?) now to all of you that got up to receive that shout out slap your selves. it is your damn duty to look after your family. gosshhhh.

anyways the key is to bring more to the table, than the present girlfriend.
i should mention that married men are off the list for this single reason: if and not when, if he does marry you, *rolls eyes* that side chic space is gonna open up. and you know how easy its gonna be for him to fill up. yes that means ur 15mis are already up. funny abi?

single girls stay away from married men!!!!! they just bring drama, and wives with buckets of acid into your life. you think im kidding ask around.

ok im done playing relationship expert.
DISCLAIMER: i am not disclaming shit, this works, i promise and if it doesent move on to another man. life too damn short to play second fiddle to another woman. if he isnt leaving her,( u know when he isnt leaving her, all those times you have 2 ask " baby what are we doing?") yes so if he isnt move on to someone else who will.................and trust me there are a million goood men out there. you just need to plan and play the field. although there are some people like yours truky who get to live a cinderella story( wash plates for 21years, and have a prince come to my front door) yes that story except i have more than one prince. hey dont hate the playerette, hate the game.

ok im done now.

so the other day i was talking to my home girl and she said" death to possesive boyfriends" i was giggling and i said, they are posseive and wired that way. i mean face it if your man allowed you go for sleep overs at jide, tomide, and sules house everytime or allowed you it the club without hassling you or even asking you. you are gonna love it, then after a while you will begin to wonder what the hell he is up to with his time especially when jide, and sule and tomide get girlfriends and then u'll relaise he probably needed all the time away from you to pursue other goals( aka other women) yes let him be possesive, at least then you can say
"but u said icouldnt go last time"
as a line that will allow you go. lol.

back to the convo. then i heard in the back ground "DEATH TYO CHEATING GIRLFRIENDS"

in other totally unrelated news,if you went to covenant university and you havent heard that you bad clip. meeenn you are missing out bad!!! that being said, have a lovely weekend people.

God bless.

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