the Question that would keep me up tonight.

Today Mr Lover wanted to go to the beach, I hated his shorts so I asked him to wear another pair

He said the button popped, so while he was taking a shower, I was attempting to sew on the button.

He walked in midway- My head was bent over  concentrating ( because I was struggling to use weave needle to sew a button- STRUGGLE)

I looked up and our eyes met in he mirror.

He smiled and asked me " What am I going to do when you leave?"

I giggled and replied " Nothing"

Looked down and continued my sewing.

Question

Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abdundantly above all that we ask or think... ( Eph 3:20)

What do you ask for from someone who consistently exceeds your expectations?

Again today, The Lover asked what I wanted for my birthday.

Because we both do not know when my ideal present would be available.

I said- I do not know, what do you want to give me?

Him: Everything.

*end of conversation*

The weekend is HEREEEEE!

Nothing really to be excited about.

Work starts by 6am tomorrow. Yes the wretched client wants us to come in before environmental.

This is why I need to marry a rich man like yesterday. So that all these extra rubbish will end.

Hian. Tonight is Lizzy's birthday! She is my Lovers neighbors wife and is having a party. guess who got invited?

But down side is the fact that I have this free ticket to see a free movie at GDC.

Being the miserly soul that I am, I decided to wait till Think like a man came out.

Then realised that I had to wait a 2nd week till it became an old movie to qualify to be watched with a free ticket.

30 of june this free ticket expires.

Here in lies my dilemma, I'm stuck with going to watch my movie, or attending Liz's party.

I have  a love/hate relationship with the Lovers new job. As always he is a super star at work.

Or so he says- Imma have to ask Tori-Tee, they have started bonding.

I also met the cutest Indian at work today. And while I gave him my pin, I imagined me having beautiful mixed race(Indian) daughters that would never have to buy a strand of Indian human hair at exorbitant prices ever.

Alas, this day dream was shattered as he lean in to tell me how much he'd miss me if I didn't come in to work tomorrow. His garlic breath killed me and my beautiful half caste Indian daughter, with her yansh length hair.

Heart broken, I made a mental note to not speak to him again. Alas our Indian bobo had caught jungle fever.
Talking about how he goes out with his friends to Ikeja every Sunday and I- Me Oreoluwa- A whole me, not even half of me should follow him to Ikeja to go clubbing with his Indian friends.

I just laughed. He had to me messing with me. After much deliberation and several mistaken incidents of him grabbing my waist, because I, according to him  almost fell of the ladder twice.


I love male attention, just not from garlicy smelly Indians. Oh and Yoruba boys as well


The other day I was telling the Lover, if i could rid the world of one thing, it would be Yoruba boys.

He thought I was messing around but I'm serious, I detest Yoruba boys with their smelly local swag and what have you.

Anyway the Lover's birthday is next week. I just told my boss, I would be sick next week. Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I will be sick of cake and birthday s...oup.

The older he gets the practical the gifts get- this year I'm getting him something we both can and will use. I can not wait to see his face when he sees it!

Anyway- What are your weekends saying? good loving in the morning rain?

I was going to take my friend to Pattaya for lunch for her birthday- But she isn't speaking to me hence I'm taking the Lover on Sunday. But after work.

I haven't been to a wedding in weeks- I think I may be falling ill.

My favourite Uncle turned 50 this month, and is having a super special 50th birthday parry! I'm so excited, I don't know if to wear oleku ( which is slowly becoming my favorite attire) Legs on Legs on Legsss!

I am so excited for the weekend! Almost as though someone is going to come and visit and drop a million Naira in my laps.

P.s - I think the pre-depression Ore is slowly returning. The Lover thinks its because he said I don't have to buy him anything for his birthday. Apparently I am his everything. *bats lashes*

Sometimes, I like to write.

I like to churn out decent pieces and then discard them

or leave them sitting in my drafts.

Other times, I write to relive the moments shared with loved ones

Most times I write, Because I can.

And even when I do not get paid for it,

I do it because it is my release- after struggling with excel sheets all day.

I come here to just pour out what I feel, How I feel, when I do not feel like punctuating,

or spell checking, or googling facts, I just come here and spew forth my bull shit.

My friend from work resigned on friday- Just after we returned from SA, talk about awoof.com

LOL- I keep teasing her that she may have to refund her ticket money.

She laughs.

I like my new senior- at least the one I've had in the last 2 months.

She can scream at me, and in the next minute, we are abusing kim k.

She reminds me so much of my table facilitator- Claudia.

Anyway that is besides the point. Appraisal time is here, and yours truly is reluctant to send in her apprasials.

Why? Its been a fucked up half year- To say the least.

My 1st job this year was a mess, my manager was mean- and I was a weakling who kept crying.

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for me- My second job was with the same senior who I worked on the same job with. And I brought my A-game.

I hate feeling like I have so much to prove, but I'm learning that I do have so much to prove, to myself, my senior and my various managers.
I also have to prove to bad-belle people in the firm that irrespective of my mothers relationship with the Big Bosses- I can hold my own in my own right.

And I think I am doing this quite well.

I've had only one major breakdown this year in Janury - and that was basically because, my then manager was MEAN.

But that isn't the point. APR's are here and I've been excited with feed back.

My favourite manager has told me to submit my APR. He promised to list of my audit outstandings when I submit it.

Speaking of APR's my counsellor is on leave. How apt. Especially with all the rumours swirling around the office- He managed to go on leave.

Speaking of leave- I need to go on another holiday- I know this would be the third one this year.

I am excited!

My Lovers neighbour was telling me yesterday how thankful he is- that he is male. He said " I doubt I would have been able to resist the pull of aristo"

Speaking of The Lover, We had breakfast on Saturday with my friend from work- same one who quit, and it was absolutely divine. It is one of those memories I will cherish to pull out and caress when I go to school.

And yes- I still intend to go to school, eventhough I am yet to send out my applications.

I think there is a demon involved. holding me back

and this demon has string affiliations with my fear of rejection.

Which is odd- Because I have no fears of rejection.

Its the least thing I worry about- Most times, I believe everyone wants to be my friend.

Is that odd? or a wrapped sense of entitlement?

My mothers birthday is coming- still no grand children, Just thanks and thanks and more thanks.

We are thankful to God.

Now what I really need to understand, is why Im sitting at work at 8:36pm blogging?

Why haven't I gone home?

Why am I strange?

and most importantly- Why does the Lover love me?

The last question is nagging in my subconscious terribly because he has told me " I don't know. I just do"

If I were not an accountant- I wont have felt the need to further probe.

I cant seem to figure it out, and its driving me craaaaaayyyyy- Especially seeing as I'm not a fixer.

Anyway enough of my aimless rambling- How is everyone?

and why the hell am I feeling what seems suspiciously like menstrual pain- Its not 30 days yet uterus, get with the program.

I swear I'm probably the only one on this earth, who doesn't count her days and doesn't carry around a tampon. What can I say- I Like surprises( I think)

even though getting stained by the red robot isn't my idea of a surprise- It is a pleasant surprise.

And oooh Comments!

I get one every now and then- Then you my kind people, while my blog posts are random and not necessarily designed to seek out comments- They are nice.  and I appreciate them.

and would soon develop some guts and start posting some around as well. Anyways thank you all of you that think I'm so bubbly!

Okay this pain is killing me. Gatta run!

I have lost all the zeal to write.

Before I used to be so eager to come here and talk and talk and talk. Now not so much.

Infact I'm contemplating closing down the blog. Almost 7  years of blogging and I'm just not feeling it.

Scary. but at the same time exciting.

Last Night was my friends birthday. and it was AMAZING!

Like totally amazing for a week day party. and the Lover was amazing as well.

He is an amazing host sometimes- Plus we both had fun, usually when we go out its just same old 

same old. 

But last night was good- Although I wasn't wearing any make up and ran away from all the cameras

and it was the 1st time I came out with my locked hair- AFTER SATURDAY.

I liked it. it was the perfect kodak moment. I'm literally dying to see photoossss.

speaking of photos. what is happening to me?

I hate them all of a sudden. I cant stand my photograph being taken.

This young lady is now *gasp* camera shy. - Who woulda thunk it?

anyways i am still trying to work out what brought that about.

OH LORRRDDDD. 

im getting my 1st oleku made! HELLOOOOOO LEGS ON LEGS ON LEGS!

I'm ecstatic, finally I have arrived.

Now all i seek is a make up artitste.

Speaking of make up artitste, I need a friend who does professional make up

Because yours truly has decided to start wearing make up. and a lot of it.

to all the weddings I attend. starting with the next one.

Weddings have started to excite me. not marriage o.

The actually wedding ceremony!

Its almost the only social call i enjoy- closely followed by stage plays.

as i was saying- I love weddings.

three weeks ago i updated my status to - marriage might be hard work, but weddings are fun fun fun!

Turns out, I have morphed fully into a Yoruba woman- who spends her waking weekend hours trying on

outfits for parties. and her week day hours fantasizing about how she will spray money AND  argue for souvenirs at the parties.

I feel terrible because I had previously judged these women. and now I am one of them.

While I CAN wait to get married. I CAN NOT WAAAAIT TO HAVE A WEDDING!

YORUBA STYLE.

so what has been really good?

ps: Im going on holiday next week. *azontos*

I tell you, this is my year of vacations!

This post is everywhere.

Also thank you to everyone who checked on me when i was having my mini bouts of depression.

I appreciate it.

and to think, I had people who I thought would be all over me. ELA. Its the people I dont send from here to there that were looking after me. calling and shit.

This Life is truly mysterious.

ANYWAYS what is up with people wanting favours from me? of late everybody had been wanting something, while I'm not one to ask except it is desperately important, I have tried to give cheerfully.

Until last week when a class mate of mine randomly called me to say hi. This week same class mate calls to say hello again.

Now why is it strange that my class mates are calling me?

simple- My classmates hated me in Uni. I was that girl that was unserious and spent her weekends in Lagos.

Having a fun time. missing classes and just generally coast through school 

partying with my friends in lagos and building social connections.

My class mates hated me through all of it and the feeling was mutual. I had about a hand ful of friends in my class- AND  we were party monsters( and that is putting it lightly)

anyways  enough about that- I am changed now and i channel my energy to weddings.

So You can imagine my shock/disgust when this my Bible wielding classmate, had to call lil ol' sinner me

to ask to see me. what for?

Turns out class mate is a marketer in the bank and had a target to meet.

Class mate wanted me to make some introductions for him AND wanted to see if he could use some of my social connections to build a network to enable him meet a target.

I LAUGHED.

and laughed. and asked him, " have I ever called to ask you to ask your prayer group to pray for me?"

OK that is a lie. I didn't say that.

I said" I'm busy this weekend, and I'm out of town next weekend- say 1st weekend in June?"

Him : Oh its too late.

Human beings are users and disgusting. You can not frown at my lifestyle for 4 years then call me because I haven't changed my # to use my social connections.

This life is too damn mysterious.

Will I help him? Maybe. but I need time to work through the anger I feel towards his type of people.

A part of me says I should be thankful that God has blessed to the point of becoming a corner stone.

I'm confused.

Blessed

Last night, on my way back from Demilade's house- I saw two boys going through the trash, gathering cartons to sleep on- as make shift mattresses for the night- and the wind was howling like it wanted to rain.

and in that moment I felt, ungrateful, wicked, and stupid. I have a roof over my head, and I allowed myself get depressed because my sister repeatedly takes, uses and more often than not misplaces my property.

While this is a good reason to get depressed, It shouldn't have gotten me THAT depressed. But it did. and it took seeing those boys to snap out of my depression.

My Lover is probably one of the most amazing people I know. all through this my episode, he had done nothing but stroke my hair and let me cry. not for once saying- suck it up, thats what people do etc.

He has also spoiled me silly with random little presents.

I have also mastered ( or currently in the process of mastering) the art of peppering him with gifts as well.

We are slowly becoming that couple people want to be- But don't want to know how far we have come.

relationships are hard work yo. a bit to hard. But worth it.

I have finally decided to start up my business.

and I am excited about it.

There is so much i want to talk about but I'd hate for this to be a long ass post.- Like the wedding i attended on Saturday.

While i have taken to berating the lover for gathering up grooms-men mileage. I haven't been entirely innocent myself. I have fallen in love with weddings. and especially spraying money. Lord knows i can not wait to start making enough money to spray my friends in 100 USD notes- Olu maintain style.

Till then 100N mint will do.

Turns out this year is going to be my year of vacations after all.

and most of them are all expense paid.

I am blessed. and ungrateful. BUT still blessed.*






*-I should put that on a t-shirt

Holiday-ing and Other cool stories

Today I visited the gym.

I hadn't been there in so long, it was amusing.

Luckily for me I didn't faint or anything remotely interesting.

I just noticed the turn out of the boys/men at the gym had really increased in the morning.

Strange.

Might have to start drawing on my eye brows.

I mean I'd hate for anyone to see me without them, except the old fat wrinkly women there who have tattooed on brows.

I felt so great afterwards. My newest feel good song is " ALL the way" by Timaya.

I could totally take on the world and not break into a sweat.

Tonight I'm having friends over. and I'm so excited.

I ALSO. went online shopping again yesterday.

I swear I'm in serious trouble.

I have no idea when this madness is going to blow over.

I found the perfect dress for my friends wedding.

now all that is left is the perfect shaper.

I'm currently looking at body magic.

I have been looking for almost a year now and I'm dropping kgs like its going outta fashion.

That being said Oyinkan is Amazeballs.

What did she do?
I'll tell you next week.

But for now, Lets just say I'm interested in actively selling her market.

and to think I met her on the Twitter streets.

real diamond in the mud that one.

To other cool stories.

I have been yakking the Lover to head out to the gym since I can remember.

About 3 weeks ago, he started going to the gym.

and now he is a devoted treadmill worshipper.

How devoted?

yesterday he cancelled our Dinner plans. for the gym.

because he missed his Wednesday workout and decided to make it up with Thursday.

But Thursday was our pre-planned dinner date of almost 2 weeks.

Yes he knew that, but He couldn't just miss the gym.

And he knows I understand.

What I understood was that I had to eat microwaved jollof rice from the fridge.
after I don set belle for better Chinese dinner.

Cool story over.

He is.

Im such an old soul when it comes to music.

None the less, ive found the perfect  description of the Lover.

In the chorus of Heather Headley's He is.

He is
The mind injector
The heart protector
The soul defender of anything I fear
The baby conceiver
The make me believer
The joy bringer
The love giver
He is
The dough increaser
The pleasure releser
The hard knocks knowler without the scars to show ya
The night school teacher
The good life preacher
The caretaker
The kiss craver
He is

Oppression and other cool stories

1st, I'm so glad to be home.

And while I didn't meet a welcome party at home(even though i pretty much snuck* into town)

I still expected banners and ballons and what not.

But I didn't get any.

Side eye to ALL my loved ones. and have a dash of shame to go with that.

anyways i went for the MK bake sale in the sheerest blouse I own.

Why? Last time I wore a lose ankara dress, and more than one person speculated that i was with child.

to debunk these rumours, i came naked as my birth day. or as close as i could without my security-men driving me back.

Ate lots of turkey, and Chicken.

People Suyi's BBQ is the way the truth and almost the newest gospel.

This Boy makes the bestest bestest BBQ in town.

I ran into a bulk of the Lovers friends. said hey.

AND one of them must have told on me, because 20 mins later he called " to find out where i was"

So to avert all damage I went by his place.

And ended up sleeping there.

I need to be more assertive and say NO.

Because I didnt plan to sleep there, i couldnt go to the gym on Monday am.

anyways, we are having dinner tonight, and i wonder if i should dress up.

or just go from work.

Im at the phase where i think i want to be dolled up most times when im with him.

Why? I have no idea. Infact it is extremely unlike me.

hmph. too many fashion and style blogs maybe?

I am losing weight. How much? a little too much.

I like it, Im fitting into size 8 dresses that i had given up hope on.

someone needs to have a kick ass party so i can wear one of these dresses.

speaking of parties, I intend to have a bunch of my friends over.

you know to fill me on on what i missed in the last month while i was out of town.

and to drink vodka with me.

and listen to me berate abuja men and thier lack of game.

Totally unpretentious no accents just alcohol and fun.

MEANWHILE!!!!!

i was talking to my friend, who said, he broke up with his girl friend AND she came to his office with a knife.

to kill him and herself.

like i was speechless.AND IM NEVER SPEECHLESS.

we need to get a grip. too messy. too poor.

so yeah, im home. tired but not broken. and im home.

oh and why does this duken diet tell me my ideal weight is 67.9kg?

When in my mind 65kg is apt?

* snuck = is that a legit word?

The weekend

For the weekend on an out of town job, i did not work.

Excitement became me and i went rabid with the thought of no work.

went out friday night, even though it raineeeed.

Had major market runz on saturday, and i had to drive. dont ask

#sidebar all the abuja drivers are mad men that are not roaming- either the roads are too good, or there is too much free money OR the government pays them per accident, because i can not understand the manner of driving that is done in this city.

I mean how can you drive past an intersection with cars going 4 ways and not even slow down?

Madness i tell you.

Sunday was better, went to church - Again the girls that attend that church dress like

a) desperate girls to meet men
b) like they over slept at the club and couldnt be bothered to go home to change first before coming.
c) whores.


I can not understand why you'd wear a dress that you cant sit in, to the house of God.

But then God sees the heart.

After church I stopped over at my girl Nemski gaggles house, met her mom

who kept fawning over how tall and pretty I was-  True story.

anyways after we cooked cat fish stew, and ate lunch we then headed over to my other friends Uloh and Kanizilious to swim.

They were at thier friends house swimming and since we were bored, we joined them and took too many pictures.

after which we went by Ulohs to get changed to hit Aramis for karaoke.

i like the low-keyness of aramis, no signboard outside, soundproof walls, and few people every come out to sing.

So we dominated the karaoke bar, and got invited to show up next week.

So if you are in the buj, and up for some karaok-ing on sunday night- get at me.

Although i must warn you, I sound like a tush frog aka i can not sing. Although I'm pretty sure i sound better than Tiwa "struggle" savage.

All in all it was an amazing weekend.

with not enough sleep and now all i wanna do is sleep.

Side bar, Cup Cake couture in Lagos Makes the most amazing cupcakes ever.

I sent the Lover a box because he was mad, and he is better now.

I miss him and my family but strangely i am not homesick.

stranger things have happened, so i guess i shouldnt be so shocked.

and OMG i had no idea how disgusting new staff could be, especially the overtly forward ones.

like how about you just shurrup and do your job and leave me in peace and quiet.
nooooo instead he fills my blissful quiet with inane ramblings that i do not care for.

im thankful lent is here and i dont have to suffer thier Yoruba gists during lunch- anymore.

Okay its not disgusting- just very disturbing i really dont like it.

I also wish the firm would give new staff adequate traning instead of saying you will learn on the job.

Its unfair to the other people on the job.
Especially when the new staff- can not take ordinary minutes.

exteremly frustrating. BUT we shall over come.

How is it that my 2nd deal dey account has my name as Akanke Okoro?

I quit these people.

The theme of this trip is " she must chop my money"

like Abuja men are just on that splurging tip.
My cousin has introduced me to at least 3 of her boyfriends this week, and all are on that chop my money tip.

like baby, you can have whatever you like.

im amused.

Unlike thier Lagos counterparts.

however what lagos boys lack in " shop my money-ism" they make up for in Lyrics, game ans swegsss.

Abuja Male species need a major reorientation of the art of courting, toasting, chyking, walking up to a lady.

in a nut shell, Abuja men & Boys Lack game.

It breaks my heart for them. All that free cash and no game to back it up.

Maybe because im a lagos girl, but the abuja girls dont seem to mind, they prefer the sound of crisp notes to conversation.

perhaps Abuja boys and girls are made for each other?

And im just here saying my own?

This post is everywhere. I know im still suffering from Lack of sleep coupled with the insane ovulation pain that decided to stop by and say hey to my uterus and has me alternating between yawning and gnashing of teeth.

Same old, different new.

so back to work after the strike, and we have to put in 30 extra hours during the week. bleh.

But i dont mind, im off to the Buj for work.
this would be my year of little or no complaining.

only appreciation and thanksgiving.

actually that would be my new years resolution, to be more positive and to be thankful.

On Monday while I was at the Lovers place, we were boiling yam and i was having problems

opening the new pack of St Louis Sugar( You know the blue rectangular one- yes that one)

and he helped me open it and I said to him-

Do you know there was a time we bought sugar out of the carton, like 5 for N10.

and he looked at me.

And I knew then that he understood.

That there are many things money would not do to me.

However i am worried about my children, with my new hours at work and all that
I have no idea how i will cope, but im sure God has it all figured out.

I need to find a way to move my work out video onto my Ipad so I can do it at the gym.

I've also realised how much resentment I hold towards packing. it probably stems from my indecision which gives my to my inability to pack light.

Writing essays- trying to sell your self in the most attractive light possible, is a process everyone should attempt to go through. or go through. There is so much I have learnt from my self during this process.

one of which I think is this - I am fluid in my person.

to person A I am fire, person B - Wind. Person C- Earth.

what I'm still working through if this is a great or good thing. ( nothing about me is bad- New years resolution remember?)

Hows the move back from the National strike? Amazing, did we utilize the time?

Or did we Occupy the Lover? like I did?

Bubble gum pink nails

Usually im the red talon jezebel-esque wielding nails typa girl.

But in the spirit of xmas i decided to cut it short AND paint it pink.

think nicki minaj pink.

luckily for me, my nails are beautiful so it came out looking nice and shii.

but i didnt realise how nice it actually looked until i was making eba for my mum

and i stopped. they looked gorge.

so i used style to delegate plate washing to my brother so that the nails wont shaa on time. lol

My sister is coming home finally!

Im excited! i missed her, im also worried about the logistics.

what car would be available, sleeping arrangements, wardrobe space.

ive gotten so used to having my own space, i cant believe i have to share a room again.

this is motivation to go and do that masters

of which the school keeps emailing me. unfailingly by feb i should have gotten it out of the way.

my 1st xmas in lagos in over 10 years.

mixed feelings, because i really dont have a clique of friends just people i talk too, i cant make concrete plans for xmas.

the lover has to work through the holiday- even though his mum invited me to thier family breakfast- sidebar, i think that is waaay too much sha.

but since my own mother wont be here- i really should have followed her to the village to be fair to my self- never again.

AND my students have been released for holiday, even though they didnt want to leave, they are sooo cute.

although they banged the 1st test i gave them, they are improving.

today i was looking through a students note AND she wrote my name and the english translation.

i was so tickled about the whole thing.

i was telling debo- my darling friend- who uses me as a make shift girlfriend minus the sex when his real gf is outta town, ab out how this xmas is gonna really suck and if he would be so kind as to find me a private jet so i can go to benin on sunday morning.

that would be nice.

so it turns out a number of people in my fitness groups have body magic, i have been saying i will buy it since, but - to be honest to myself, i really dont need it. except its a gift i would continue slaving at the gym. although shapers would be nice.

turns out this xmas is gonna see me with a lot of free time on my hands.

AND i have 3 store counts to attend too.

sometimes, i think i should be a super model or sthg equally glamorous. i feel like im wasting away here inthis 9-5 rat race.

i read the bobo omotayo book, it seemed okay, except i had read most of the articles on BN. however i agree with his views on lagos life.

lagos life has a box and its impossible for me to fit into it.

i think its because im not class concious enough.

and i know this is a good thing, because my mother told me so.

speaking of my mother when i gave her the eba to eat, she didnt complain, which meant it was ace.

so i pushed my luck for a compliment and said, ahn you didnt say anything about the eba.

oh its perfect she replied.

you'll make whoever you marry very proud.

My mother makes me feel like a princess, like everybody is undeserving of me.

sometimes( in minute nano seconds) i wish she could pick out my husband for me.

then i snap out of that.

speaking of which do we all hae that opposite sex friend who can say shit to you and get away with it?

I have this friend we grew up together, although he dated my sister, we still speak once in a while, but when he calls me conversation is so great its amazing.

yay to old friends that just pick up where we left off. its just so easy with him.

im guessing its because we have known each other forever.

i hate stupid old men that strip me naked with thier eyes in the gym.

and i hate the young men that do it as well.

yup this means i have resumed going to the gym.

i swear i need someone to kick my ass more often.

back to the lover's mother inviting me for Christmas breakfast, im kinda undecided.

My mum thinks i should go,as does everyone else, including the lover,who is going to play that its so rude to turn down my mother's invitation card.

Festus asked me why i stopped tweeting about the lover, he asked if it was maturity.

what i heard was him fishing for gist assuming the lover and i have split.

i mean know its paranoid to think thats what he was on about, but i mean he was out of town for two weeks, out of sight, out of tweet content.

besides i had my students keeping me busy so i tweeted about them.

you know whats weird, compliments from people who dont care about/ probably wont ever see again making you feel good.

especially drivers- dont judge me.
if i accost the for wanting to hit me, they will now say, how i wan take jam fine girl like you.
lol that makes my day.

Dealdey is amazing.

i will gist you people what they did for me. i was touched.

Good customer relations will get you everywhere.

especially for someone like me who is rude.

and one more thing, i wish i had "friends" coming in this Christmas.

all the people have their own friends coming in an have abandoned me.

steph is off to SA with her best friend.

I really enjoy my company, i would write and read and shit, but Xmas is family / loved ones related. sadly, Mummy is travelling AND lover is working.

sister will return and run off to her boyfriend - in Jesus name, because God knows i need the space.

brothers girl he has been chasing forever girlfriend is in town so he would be with her, and all that.

and still dont have a christmas dress, but i am grateful i have a roof over my head and people i love irrespective of where they are.

plus i won a skinny belt AND eneni promised to send me a cat- because im now an old lady.

Good times!

anyways incase i dont blog again till after xmas

Happy Christmas. and a Prosperous New year

I wish all of you,

Love from the one you love

Light from PHCN and

Laughter from jokes which you arent the butt of.

Happy holidays.

happy lives here.

The lover is back.

and all is well with my world.

I also told him i teach and he keeps teasing me about it.

I also did not realise how much i missed him till i saw him.

he also added a ton of weight. I may just have to put my foot down on his weight loss attempts.

that being said, i had a delish weekend.

Nothing but watch games, eat chinese and watch tv with the lover.

I really really really like december.

December reminds me of when i met the lover, and sneaking out at 12 midnight to return at 5am just to listen to really good music.

I have one of those weird ass Love stories.

weird but good.

Im just lying here and being happy if there is anything like that.

it also helps that im shopping online as well.

December in Lagos is always sooo packed. P on P on P.

urgh hate it. wanted to go to my village but work said no.

actually work didnt say no.

along the line i just didnt go.

Im also worried about having to go do a masters, I went to see my sister in April

and she burst into tears when we were leaving.

and then i started crying as well.

thats how much we must have missed each other. and we arent even friends.

talk less of the people you actually like.

I have no idea how i would cope for a year away from all the people i love, mummy, my brother, my lover.

i get teary eyed thinking about it.

i must device a coping mechanism. MUST.

anyways must stop thinking about it.

My friend is giving me a birthday present tomorrow.

Im sooo excited. i cant wait to see what it is, shoes? pants? clothes? a sheer blouse?

i also need to get my hair did. however since i have told all my office people thaty my hair is yansh length im just going to save my self the drama and wait till we close for the year.

ALSO- its Uwana's birthday on Saturday Im too excited about the whole thing.

You'd think she was my child.

I still cant believe Ope has a kid and is married.

Everything is moving so fast.

and everyone is changing so fast.

and im just lying still in the middle of all of it, being happy.

^_^

Thanksgiving.

While im fully resident in Nigeria,

And we dont celebrate thanksgiving. there is the need to be thankful.

I remember this time last year i was in Ny for thanks giving and it was beautiful.

My aunt just underwent heart surgery sucessfully, she was able to get someone to look after her kids while in the hospital.

There was so much to be thankful for.

And this year we have a lot more to be thankful for,

for good health, wealth, successes promotions, inductions, Birthdays, lovers quarrels, everything its impossible to count.

But i am thankful, most for myself

This last year i have grown, my Yoruba has become better, my people skills increased, wisdom nko? e don pack come my domot.

this 2011 make i no even talk lie, na me God vex dash this 2011.

If you see as God use me take shine this year ehn?

You sef - wen you carry eye torch lite as God don use me shine wella this year e go hungry you make you come serve this My God.

None the less this year has been amazing- and all Glory is returned to God.

Baba God i say Thank you. i am Thankful.

:)

What are you thankful for?

Stereo Hearts.

There is a pain that is caused by a perpetual search for intimacy. Although we are not lonely, we feel alone. When we are not alone and we see a happy couple, we long for what they have but still want to be alone because it’s easier. Even though it’s easier, we are still miserable. It is an interesting cycle. Yes. There are those of us who are happy being single, then there are those of us who are unhappy being single but do not want to be in relationships. - Khaya.

I totally have a crush on him. On twitter off kess, he also didnt go to Uni and is an Ad exec in SA ( think Don draper a la madmen )

I would have put up his blog links, but there is no fun in sharing.

ps im still basking in the post birthday euphoria. to everyone that came AND Oyinkan. Thank you!

#np Stereo Hearts. * Insert the bbm love emoticon here*

pss: for some reason im itching to see the lover tomorrow night, im actually getting excited about it.

Urgh i hate that he excites me. ok a part of me likes it. still Iyama.

OMG But you are sooooo Dark.

I giggle and reply, i've never been a light person- what are you on about?

Whenever i meet people for the 1st time, especially females, They comment on my skin shade.

They say " you are quite dark o"

I find it amusing. Ive never been Light skinned, so i dont understand their shock.

Maybe i seem/ speak/come across like a light person.

The same way people cant believe im tall.

Or cant believe im not a size 16- With the way i go on and on about my weight.

My point is this, Nothing is wrong with being dark.

especially if you have really bad skin like yours truly.

But Whenever i see some dark sinned people bleach themselves

Im confused.

There was this girl in my Uni MRS, in year 1 she was probably as dark as me.

Now she is probably as light as Nadia Buari.

I saw her naked the other day and was disgusted.

Green and red veins criss crossed, back of her knees

Blackened knuckles

Black stretch marks

She looked a mess and a half.

Is bleaching worth it?

Do girls really feel not beautiful because they are dark skinned?

Would i feel more beautiful If i was light skinned?

No. I would feel extremely beautiful if i had clear skin.

So yesterday at the party i Deejay'd for, i was a bit late due to other stuff.

Thats how My uncle said i could make some extra cash on the side with this DJ gig.

I said oh no thank you.

Uncle Reggie( one of my Uncles friends) said: E be like say your guy they sort you out well. pepper rest for the guy hand abi? *

Uncle CY laughed and said no mind these ones, them no dey pay rent.

I like hanging out with them. they are sooo street. and they all turned out so well.

Its just a testimony to the fact that you can be dirt poor and turn yourself around**

So I also got saddled with Taking someone out this weekend. so whoohoo to friday and drinks!!

Gats Ginger Debo.

Oh and i did tell My mum about the Incident at the club.

She said all Men are useless.

* Because my mother is from warri, we always speak pidgin whenever her siblings are around.

** My Mother grew up dirt poor. Like one room with seven children kinda poor.

Questions People Ask.

What would you do if your Lover left you?

Answer:

I dont know. i have never considered him leaving me.

Because i wouldnt know what to do.

But im sure i would be fine.

- I dont think thats what most people want to hear.

They want tears, and hate and anger and whatever.

I tell myself and them, " its a great relationship, if he wants out, there is nothing i can do about it"

Nothing i'd even want to do about it.

They think i'm mad. hell even i think im mad sometimes.

But hey, Loves makes you mad. No?

I see people wanting to be happy with SO's. thirsty and needy.

I tell them they all need " the business".

If you are unhappy with yourself, somebody else cant bring you happiness.

Even if they were mother theresa. You'd still be sad.

I think Self love should be a course in University/ies. too many people walking around with issues that stem from nothing.

Like they are in some damn tyler perry movie.

being overtly dramatic, all because they lack self love.

What i've learnt.

Relationships are hardwork.

Probably the hardest thing for someone like me, who has always had her way.

Compromise, Probably the 2nd hardest.

Being alone, the third.

Thats why you gatta have your own thing. so When you have to be alone, because he wants to watch football with his friends, you dont die of paranoia.

You have to be patient, lots and lots of patience, Not everyone would know how to Love you- Which is why you muct know how to lovw your self.

Albert E- If you cant explain it, then you dont understand it.

If you dont know how to love yourself, You cant teach anybody how to love you.

Which is sad, because you have just one mother, you gatta teach everyone else how to love/treat you. especially the one person who you are with most of your waking hours.

You have to let go. no point holding back- if it doesnt work out. It didnt work out.

Dust yourself up and try again.

And for fucks sake smile- You arent hawking Akara under ikeja Bridge.

( I should take this advise, Im always squeezing my face like somebody they gave shit to eat).

_______________________________________________________

I went into work today and this Manager, asked me for my Number,

He said he had missed me.

I swear i must be like an Aristo Magnet or something.

Tbh that shit freaks me out.

Why are you missing a random staff in your firm that you have never worked with?

Older men that chase younger women, lack self respect. looking for validation with a Younger woman would only make you broke.

AND, even if you gat it, Deeep down inside you know its tricking.

so I managed to leave the office without giving him my number.

But i know he wont stop till he gets it.

I hate how men cant channel the persistence they use to chase women who are offlimits into something productive.

We live in scary times.

My friend Asake- who i met through this blog and also twitter. but mainly through this blog.

Is best friends with one of my Lovers Ex's.

Just when you think you know- Life throws you a curve ball.

She( Asake) is cool about it tho- i tease her all the time about having conflict of interests.

She also happens to be writing ALMIGHTY ICAN next month.

yall remeber when i was writing that nasty Exam. I pray for her. for courage and resilience

professional exams drain one. in all sorts of ways.

Shit im rambling.

Ok.

The power of Music.

I've always had this love for music, I believe it has powers. It's all about finding and playing the right song at the right time. Sometimes your shuffle does the magic, other times you are forced to figure it out on your own.
I've known this song (almost) all my life but hearing it that day gave me this inner peace. I felt like the burden I had been carrying was taken from me. I felt sudden relief.
The past year was a crazy one, my sister left, I had endless tests, I had to watch 2 people I love slowly recover from life threatening illnesses, I had to retake an exam that determined the next one year of my life and with all these I was struggling with my emotions and spirituality.
I've always felt a problem shared (with the right person) is a problem half solved so I tried talking to my friends but it seemed like no one could give me a lasting solution, not because they didn't want to but they couldn't figure out what exactly was wrong. I couldn't even figure it out myself. All I knew was the mood swings and tears were endless. Behind d smiles was fear, uncertainty, emptiness. A few times I wanted to pray then I realized I didn't know how. Im sure you are thinking how hard can it be but whenever I tried, my weaknesses were brought before me. I didn't feel worthy to talk to God, I wasn't worthy.
So there I was, sitting in one of my 'I can't remember the exact mood it was this time' and then the song came up. As I sang along I suddenly remembered I had someone all along, someone who knew everything about me, he knew exactly how i felt, he knows me more than I know myself. He knew what I was going through even if I wasn't sure exactly what it was. I had him as a friend, he had been waiting all this time for me to call him. Just when I wanted to call, my weaknesses again were brought before me, then the word came "in my weakness he is made strong". I realized I didn't have to be strong on my own. His strength was available for me. I didn't even have to say much, he could see right into my heart, right behind the tears he knew how much I was hurting, how empty I felt. Then came the assurance. He told me everything will be alright, he had it under control. He that started a good work in my life promised to bring it to a perfect end. Suddenly I felt at peace and since then I got him on my speed dial. What a friend I have in Jesus.


What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
And what a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer

Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer

Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer








Sent from my iPad

***************************************************************************

My friend Eneni wrote this. i'm sure many of us can relate.

Random

The lover is mad at me- im so fucking upset because its really not like my fault this time.

im actually really sad. i wish apologies are enough sometimes.

Anyways- i just discovered this song by BABA DEE- GUM BODY.

i havent been this excited about a song since Terry G's free Madness-

http://www.4shared.com/audio/LHuimfEk/Baba_Dee-Gum_Body.html

thats the link there- go on click it. you know you want to.