Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Wish list

For Valentines day I want only two things.

1. The Game of thrones books- the 5 of them.

2. 3 Cases of moscato.

see my easy I am to be with?

I would have bought both myself but- Amazon doesnt deliver to Nigeria.

And why would a pretty girl like me have to buy her own alcohol anyways? * insert sultry pout here*

Valentines day

Now while I have a lover.

Valentines day isn't really major for us.

I basically ask him to pick out something he likes and if i can afford it  pay for it. Like a Boss.

However this year I thought I should do something nice for him, but with subsidy and all I changed my mind.

Would buy him - Cake, Alcohol and send strippers over probably a work out DVD

Too practical? Maybe, but thats what we have always been about.

or rather I have always been about.

IF you buy me something, I do not need, can not use, is not my size or I have excess off except perfume obviously. Best believe I WILL SELL IT.

to the highest bidder. sentiments are not legally acceptable tender for payment at the saloon.

or anywhere else really, except emotional banks. and we all know how unnecessary those are.

Basically this year I planned to take my mother out to dinner.

and I had done up the cost in my head, maybe 20k.

But my sister is home, ok- 30k max.

However my brother is coming hom as well.

I may as well just get someone to come and cook and invite all my friends and single ladies loved ones.

Or something nice, like the orphanage. I've actually never been to one before, because they scare me.

Maybe this year I would face my fear and go, after all they are just children abi?

Blame Nollywood for making me freak out.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Teaching and Nigeria

Sometime last week, my friend El, who reads my blog and is basically my personal person, told me her sister Mimi might have someone who is interested in teaching.

So I called Mimi, because of my ridiculous work schedule, I was praying the person would have an accounting background and a flexible job.

So we spoke and she set up a Sunday evening meeting with said volunteer. His name is Daniel. Daniel called me and it so happens that he lives in my estate so I agreed to walk to meet up at his place and have a little meeting.

20 mins later, and realizing how stressful walking is, I arrive at his place.

Turns out Daniel is Oyibo. I'm like - does this one know I teach in a public school ni?

Apparently he had been there to volunteer before- that particular school I teach at, AND he was turned down.

It also turns out he has done this before, in NY, and Togo- where he had to learn French to teach the village children English.

But he needed to be sure he wouldn't be turned away this time. So I told him what we did, that a friend of mine asked me to and I volunteered, and its rewarding but a lot of hard work.

He also seemed quite knowledgeable.

So I invited him to my next saturday class, which I intend to be having since work wants to take on characteristics of a female dog. And I sincerely feel bad having to ask my students to come in on Saturdays, more for all the small chops I will forego. :(

moral of the story.

 Dont Judge a book by the cover.

If you do better have a poker face when you meet said book in person.

and today was a good day all my favourite people came around, The Lover, Aunty Joy and Ayomide- we went shopping , urgh Lagos sun is not for "childrens", Womilee.
Today was a good day.

and I thankful.

My co-worker NOC just volunteered to teach as well.

Told yall it is a good day. :)

Friday, January 27, 2012


I wrote this and I decided to share it here.

Dare i say it, My life right now is perfect.
 and I am thankful. for both small and great blessings alike.

for stolen kisses and earth shattering toe curling orgasms
 for pink nails and bra length weaves
 for shitty network services and even shittier wifi services.

The Buj

If you follow me on twitter, perhaps you shouldnt bother reading this.

i pretty much tweeted the whole experience- This was by far the funnest (  i know that isnt a word) work trip i took.

2012, is the year of work hard, play harder- till you burn out.
not like i wish anyone to burn out or anything, im just saying.

So i got into Lagos yesterday, after my flight was delayed an HOUR!!
and I was soooo mad. I almost burst into tears.

Air Nigeria is probably the shittiest airline ever, fast forward to 2 hours later, I finally landed in Lagos.

Also thier planes are the dirtiest i have ever entered in Nigeria. too poor AN, too poor.

So after my ordeal, i landed Lagos and made three stops.

One - Pastry shop. Ohlala in GRA Ikeja is amazing. they make amazing cakes.
Two- Saloon. Yinka Boy at XnB's has been making my hair for me since maybe my 200 level. If anyone needs hook ups hola.( and yes i go all the way to Yaba to make my hair- Ikoyi salons are shit)
Three- The Lovers office. I made him wait for me, instead of going to his house(which turned out to be silly), because I didnt want to drive all the way, Plus I like his office, the people there are always soo nice to me.

silly because i just had my hair and nails did.

so basically i ended up with smudged nails, and bed hair.

We ended up staying there till 10pm.  I never realise how much I miss him when I'm away until I actually see him. It always always always hits me so hard.
my head is like - you were gone for a week. my body is like - a week is too damn long.

and my heart- urgh that one doesnt even send. it and my stomach literally transform to butterflies.

I hate it and Love it.

LOL. enough of that.

By the way i need to give a shout to my Girlies Uloh aka lafia's finest.

she works in nassarawa, but came in twice to hang with me.

Ak, who came in from Uyo and Lolly- who well came to the buj to get the D. but all in all, great great company.

Loved it.

Sometimes, Mornings like this, I am content.
Like i have it all, Amazing Lover, Amazing friends.
Almost perfect job.
2 pack abs.

and mornings like this i am happy.

so with my neon pink painted nails racing across the keyboard as i type this, i know i am happy.

and im glad.

Abuja also introduced me to Tiwa- struggle- savage's latest single.

because i honestly think she is a shit singer, i dont take anything she churns out seriously.

However this song is such a feel good P- setting song. I love it.

its been on repeat since forever, I might just understand the obsession the Lover has with her.

she still reeks of struggle tho.

Although i am at work today, with a banging headache ( resulting from fixing a weave and then proceeding to see the lover without popping Tylenol or Paracetamol 500mg) and maybe listening to wande coals shawty go low with earphones.

I am smiling.

Because I am home.

I Love Lagos.

Awa t' Eko.

and my Yoruba is getting better, probably as a result of work people, afmag yoruba, and following Leke and Itunu on twitter.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Same old, different new.

so back to work after the strike, and we have to put in 30 extra hours during the week. bleh.

But i dont mind, im off to the Buj for work.
this would be my year of little or no complaining.

only appreciation and thanksgiving.

actually that would be my new years resolution, to be more positive and to be thankful.

On Monday while I was at the Lovers place, we were boiling yam and i was having problems

opening the new pack of St Louis Sugar( You know the blue rectangular one- yes that one)

and he helped me open it and I said to him-

Do you know there was a time we bought sugar out of the carton, like 5 for N10.

and he looked at me.

And I knew then that he understood.

That there are many things money would not do to me.

However i am worried about my children, with my new hours at work and all that
I have no idea how i will cope, but im sure God has it all figured out.

I need to find a way to move my work out video onto my Ipad so I can do it at the gym.

I've also realised how much resentment I hold towards packing. it probably stems from my indecision which gives my to my inability to pack light.

Writing essays- trying to sell your self in the most attractive light possible, is a process everyone should attempt to go through. or go through. There is so much I have learnt from my self during this process.

one of which I think is this - I am fluid in my person.

to person A I am fire, person B - Wind. Person C- Earth.

what I'm still working through if this is a great or good thing. ( nothing about me is bad- New years resolution remember?)

Hows the move back from the National strike? Amazing, did we utilize the time?

Or did we Occupy the Lover? like I did?

Thursday, January 12, 2012


So after spending 48 hours with the Lover, ive come to the conclusion that every married couple has to be gainfully employed.

like both the wife AND husband must be working.

like how does one stay home all day doing nothing. tufia!

i ran away after 2 days, abeg before i run mad.

i also wish i had a like a vocational hobby-esque type side hustle as opposed to my 9-5 eg sewing?

or bead making.

this would have been the purrfect time,

although i am writing my essays.

for school. once i finish, i will apply without the Gmat scores and see how far.

because some people didnt write Gmat o. infact many people didnt write it.

from what ive been hearing sha, but mi o mo.

is it me or is deal dey doing the most during this strike period?

like just hitting us with food deals left right and center?

and yes i have refused to air my views on this whole Nigeria issue.

sometimes its better to just watch.

so over the holiday the beach party my friend invited me too, someone took a couple pictures of me in my swim suit.

now when it comes to my body, i think i'll just be honest and say its because everyone expects me to be skinny thats why im actually trying to lose weight.

because to be fair, i really like how i look/and have filled out.

except my belly- urgh it wont be flat- only God knows why.

anyways so i saw the pictures.

and i am reminded why i dont want to lose weight again.

lol i stay contradicting myself on this issue.

pictures looked so good, im contemplating looking for someone to do tasteful nudes of me.

to give the lover on Vals say.


Because it is a month and 2 days away!

and i am freaking excited about it!

although chances are that i would be out of town for work!

still i am excited!

arent yall excited about vals or is it just lil old me?

Saturday, January 7, 2012


The belief that because one person is your blood

Means they can only be your best friend is flawed.

Because in reality, your enemy lives in your house.

The end.

Thankful for friends who become family.

Although they are far and few between, coming from a family such as mine,

One cannot be too careful when choosing friends.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Deal dey

so basically this website right here

www.dealdey.com is the reason im a fattie bom bom.

they have the most discounted deals- enough to make any bargainer go gaga!

I love them! the alaroro in me loves them even more,

want to join?


there you click away and start buying!!!

the New year but the same old idiots.

so you know how you meet a guy...

and you like the guy...

then the guy does something so fucking irritating and you just stop speaking to him...

then he comes back to you and you try to rationalize what it is you have and he gives you the most ridiculous excuses ever.

To be fair, some women are weak. weaker when it comes to men and they cant see the light.

some men see this and prey.

while some just take the damn piss.

Like this retard in this conversation.

Retard: Hey
Female: Hi
Retard: Been a while. What u been up to?
Female: Yeah it has, nothing much just wrk
Retard: Have spotted you about twice strolling. You always look sad. Everything ok?
Female: Things r getting better, I will be fine
Retard: What was the matter?
Female: Wrk n other things
Retard: What happened?
Female: Can I ask u question? And if I can, would u be totally honest?
Retard: Go ahead
Female: I will never ask this again, Retard are you married? Pls I really need to know
Retard: I told u my situation but no, am not married. Why do u ask?
Female: Its not something I can explain over bbm
Retard: Am in a car. With others. Try to explain the best u can.
Female: Ok will try
Female: A couple weeks after we had s**, I happened to be driving on some rd ** cos I had to pick a colleague up, she was running late so I decided to drive down into d street to make a u-turn, to my surprise I see ur car(red tucson) coming out of one of d last houses, so I was ooo so this is where u live and then I see a woman coming out of house it seemed lyk she was giving d gateman instructions, after which she got into the car n drove but before she didn't I couldn't help but notice the diamond ring she had on her left hand. After that a couple days later I saw U n her at the tow plaza in the car, and pretty much after I have seen her a couple times driving d car or being driven
Female: From dat moment it just seemed lyk everything u told me, seemed lyk you were hiding something I started thinking over everything since I met u, I have never been to ur house, never been wit u in public it was always a meet up in ur car or my house, u make plans n u cancel them or just disappear

Retard: Would u lyk to come to my house this weekend?

Female: In the begining I tried not to rationalize everything n I took u for your word cos I cared abt U, but after evrything I needed to step back n kind of revaluate, I didn't deserve to be hidden lyk some secret
Female: I honestly can't say I can come without an explanation for exactly is going on


Retard: Ur not a secret
Retard: I went out with her and she stays over @ mine . She wears the ring for sentimental reasons ( and to inform me she wants more )
Female: So did u give her the ring?
Retard: But I have always wanted u but u disappearedm
Retard: Yes but not as an engagement ring.
Retard: I adore u but u have shut me out. Called several times but ur number never rang. Did u lose ur phone?
Female: Given the situation, and the time it happened what did u expect would happen, I was hurting real bad
Female: But I didn't lose my phone
Retard: Did u delete me from BB?
Female: Yes I did
Retard: We need to talk
Female: I agree




I keep saying you don't have to die to experience Hell fire.

The devil lives among us.

and im pretty sure this said retard over here is one of his agents.

End of Rant.

I have a wedding with the lover. i manage to find the most perfect black dress ever ( in size 8)

- yes thats me saying i now fit into a size 8. *pause* WATER CRACKERS FOR EVERYBODY.

Its a healthy snack.

so as i was saying, thats how i ran into the toilet to fit it and then, the zip popped.

my friend said it was because my yansh was too big. bleh.

so i tried on the size 10 AND The zip popped AGAIN!

turns out the zips on both dresses had issues.

and im black to square one on what to wear for the wedding.

The end of rant.

ps: am i the only one with family members who stay over so long and start to irritate everyone else? likw how can you be vexing that somebody is eating soup that you
1. did not cook
2. buy ingredients for
3. give anybody money to cook.

like what the actual fuck are some family members on about?

Thursday, January 5, 2012


*throws laptop against the wall*

i cant believe the average class score of GMAT for cambridge is 690.

not only that but i have tto write an essay about my future career path.

Please do i look like a sooth sayer?

How many people are able to say this is what i know i want to do with my life at 22?

scratch that. apparently many people know.

although this is inherently lazy, i am contemplating having one of those PFL people aid my application.

yes i know its lazy, but i fear if i go through this with no one holding my hand, i will quit and slip into a bridezilla, except its not a wedding but a masters.

urgh urgh urgh!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Applications and shi

I am excited to announce that i have started applying for my schools!

yay me. by February i intend to start taking the very expensive GMat classes.

im stoked about the whole thing.

Only downside- i have problems making friends AND i will miss my loved ones terribly.

and obviously this is the ideal time to swallow all my " i cant do LDR words back"

off kess this would be a test and strain on what i have going on with the lover. but since no one sees the future i dont know.

as usual with new experiences, i will keep a hand written journal.

hopefully it would make my writing better.

- i siwear God intended for me to be a doctor, my writing is nothing like a stingy accountants own.

i find myself giving my sister more room since she returned. having to go to work all day must be
the reason, or maybe ive grown.

offcourse i have to establish boundaries but yes our relationship works fine.

something my subconcious needs to do is to stop catering for people.

its how i was rasied, and probably because of the nature of the family i come from( people dropping in unannounced and shit all the time) I am able to whip up meals on the spot.

say 15 mins typa whip up. obviously not chef fregz style, but enough to sate appetites of growling stomachs.

this is my gift and curse.

at least from what i gather on twitter anyways. LOL

I still have nothing to wear.

and i somewhat still worry that not having a particular set of friends will make me end up like those people who have no one to holiday with them. blame sex and the city and shit. for giving me the impression that all women have a group of friends that have coffee during lunch breaks on the side walk smoking cigars and discussing sex.

i am obviously the exception.

and talk less of a year with People i do not know and have no fucking idea about- urgh this gives me shivers. who will i cry too, and force over to help me clean up my closet or even dash out my clothes that only God knows why i buy them when i have no intention of ever wearing them.

whoooo? * bursts into tears*

but this doesnt make me any less excited about school sha!

i guess what sprang this whole friendship rethink was on new years i ran into my friend from High school.

i mean i stay steady meeting people i went to Qc with and we can have conversations.

and we laugh and its like nothing changed- except i have less pimples now.

So you can imagine my shock when i ran into my "friend" and she was cold.

i mean she hugged me, but acted like- she couldnt be bothered to relate with me.

Then i was too excited to even realise until later when i contemplated trying to invite her for lunch with the rest of my friends from QC and decided against it.

Do people change? Because she had an accent. and lots of powder,amd 26 inch "cambodian" hair.

But does all that really change who you are? or was she never even friends with me from QC.

although these questions arent important to keep me up at night, they are important so i know how to tread when adressing/ relating to my other "just got back-ers"

although to be fair- none of the other ones have been that way.

I guess its weird having to accept someone not wanting to revel in my greatness.

i resume Gym runs tomorrow- Can i get an AMEN.

shamlessly in a bid to get into decent shape for the wedding with the lover on saturday.

STILL, no dress and No nails and no idea on what to do to my hair. :(

ps what color can one wear lilac with? i'd hate to end up looking like the color wheel, all in the name of fashion.

I can't wait to go to school. I'm tired of Nigeria and the year isn't even started yet.

I have a wedding with the lover on sat and I have no idea what to wear, O needs to go shopping.

And fast. I also need to take out this weave it has served its purpose. Although I have no idea what to do with the hair.

By the way I'm getting really good at typing on the iPad.

I really hope 2012 turns out good. I had so many plans for the year.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New year

and all that jazz.

since i already spoke about resolutions im just going to not bother stating them again.

partly because its just one thing i think.

anyways to wrap up my 2011 and 2012 im going to copy and paste a conversation i had with my uncle, concerning me.

so basically he sent me this:

Compliments of the season to you. what is happening nowadays? not heard any news about you. Hope work, relationship and the rest of life is fine. Please reply with your plans for the new year. All the very best and Godbless.

and i replied this:

Same to you uncle!
Compliments as well.
Oh I've been just here and there.
I got promoted in september abi october.
So more responsibilities.

I also volunteered to teach accounting at a school near the house to their accounting students preping for WAEC. Although I suspect I have bitten off more than I can chew.

And I am grossly impatient.

But its a way to give back to the community and I have a sense of fufilment after every claSs.

And a sense of failure and frustration when my students don't understand. But they are moving slowly.

So that is progress.

Next year I have only major plan.

To finally apply for an MBA. Which entails taking the GMAT. :(
And work won't allow me have time to do it, but I have to go next year. I've settled on Warwick. And the town seems like its dry so there aren't any distractions.

I also want to learn how to play the piano. Hopefully once I come to england for the MBA I would be able to squeeze it in.

Did you discover why you didn't miss your patients as much when you were holiday eventually?

Or you think the time has come to hang your scalpel.( That is what you use to cut women open Yes?)

My warmest regard to everyone.

And sorry for the disjointed-ness of the email.

Oh I also write a column for a new magazine. ^_^ ( that is a chuckle)

I act like I have more than 24 hours in a day. But then again I must enjoy my youth.

My boyfriend is finem we are still going on, although the longer I stay with him, I discover how innately selfish he is. I just ignore him now and do my own thing. This system seems to work. I've also learned no two relationships are the same so I just tend to do what works for uss. Which seems to be abnormal. But I really can't be bothered about normal especially when its defined by rules that no one seems to know where they came from. LOL ( that's laughing out loud)

Oh and I have become somewhat closer to his mum this year. I gather that may be a good thing.

Although for some reason in the last quarter the male attention I've been getting has been overwhelming. I wish I could bottle up whatever it is that keeps attracting the men and sell it to women who need the help in that department.

But then again, I have the Xfactor so that's that.

Although a mini part of my mind wants to model. Professionally. But this means I would have to lose at least 10kg. :(

But that would be after my MBA sha.

I keep toying with the idea, behind my mothers back sha. Maybe enter into one of those pagents. Oh wow.

See how I've been rambling.

But that's pretty much what I've been up too.

Would call you tomorrow.

For some reason I'm super excited about 2012. What about you?

Have u spoken to Maro, tomorrow is his birthday!

and he replied this:
Dear Ore,

Its been a real pleasure reading a summary of your (exciting) life since July 2011. I must say its a full and exciting life. Has all the essential twists and thrills a young woman is entitled to. With a fulfilling career, a satisfactory (realistic) relationship, a sense of achievement, a plan for the future, an understanding of the past and a determination to enjoy the present. With a tinge of confidence in your abilities/ characteristics and some measure of compassion for your womenfolk who are 'inadequately' endowed.

Warwick is an excellent choice for what you want and its in middle England so you can get around quite easily.

I am still restless/ distracted from work! I will certainly need to do something else in addition to, or instead of surgery. Things have become stale and plateaued over the last 18 months and i need a new thrill/ drive. I am considering either coming to naija or studying something else at university to keep me occupied. I am praying about it and believing God for an answer early in the new year.

Maro's birthday is today and I shall give him a ring.

Amongst all you wrote there was nothing about your faith or spiritual health, was it an oversight?

God bless.

and that pretty sums it up!

So on the 1st, The Lover dragged me out with him to this party, which for some reason we attend every year, and is grossly over packed and everyone is always there and its a lot of hugging and airkissing and basically Lagos party typical posing. That ive come to accept about Lagos.- it cant always be good abi?

anyhoos since I couldn't find fuel to buy i had to ask my family friend to drop me off at the Lovers after which we then rolled out together- This is probably the only party( asides weddings) that we attend together. for some reason we roll up seprately all the time.

all my friends think im mad.

I think it works for us, so fuck that.

and we leave together most times so that kind of works.

I also ran into Koye. ^_^! he is delicious in real life. Mr Fondler of words im watching you.

It was a good night, lots of alcohol and i ended up leaving to go watch " the help" with the lover at 2am at his place.

Good times!

My sister came as well, and all his friends kept saying how yellow and how hot she is- *side eye*

i swear She went to bleach in Italy.

im kinda glad she's back.


I keep getting little signs that maybe I am on the right track, Just maybe,