New Year ( and urgh what is this new layout?)

 I love new years because ya girl be making GRAND PLANSSS.

anyway just swinging in to say happy new year and I am super grateful for how 2020 ended and I am looking forward to migrating to my new lifestyle website soon. eek

So exciting... Honestly 2021 is gonna be d bomb!

:)

Hope yall are well and keeping safe etc etc

FINESSE

I am actually the queen of finesse, so when I got this job  last year I was like meh.
Long story short I loads of issues with the people I worked with.

Like one kept trying to get me fired.
He'd send stinker emails behind my back to HR in SA requesting them to move me talking about how I was dragging his team back.

Long story short.
I started talking to HR in SA separately. I spoke to people on a different team I followed up with people in the new group I wanted to work with and got a pulse of what they lacked. THEN I put a plan in motion and started underG.

I was terrified BUT there was no way I was not going to move.
Anyway long story short, today I got annouced for a new role that did not exist.

Like I created the role, convinced HR I take a risk and hire me AND then the guy who was trying to get me fired, had to announce the move today.

YOU GUYS I AM SO HAPPY.

MY HEART IS SO FULL I CAN ACTUALLY CRY.

I did not even realize how much I was holding out for this.

I'm so thankfullll.

and so happy
and so elated.

Now to work so hard, I will be sent to Thailand by my office for the global retreat.

As I said finesse is my middle name.

Are you okay and other stories.

The last few months have been difficult for me.
Not in the I'm broke way but when you count the cost of an task to undertake but you some how skip out the emotional cost.

I am always there for my friends.
Among my MANY redeeming qualities; this is at the TOP of the list.

And I do not even say this to toot my horn, but if you are my friend, I will go to war with you.
It's how I've always been.
Fiercely loyal and dependable.

So being unable to be there for people in my life because of the task at hand was hard. And not even in an ego way but hard in a, I'm so sorry I can't be there for you more way. but I need to get these exams done.

Anyway anthony bourdain is dead. He was 61 and committed suicide.

I almost started crying when I saw it. I'm almost still crying.
It is awful

One of my newer male friends who is a freelance journalist wrote for his parts unknown.
Like its crazy.
I want to reach out to everyone I know and be like

ARE YOU OKAY? Tell me talk to me

I am so sad about his death
I was having a shit day and now this.

Now usually I'd have gone to Ikoyi club this evening to have a drink and talk about how awful this is, but my partner has moved.
Crazy, she writes about going through it  in real life and popping off on social media here
While all my lives are connected, I understand that people live separate lives and seek solace in them.

But a lot of my friendships are those " real life, chill at home real life living"

Eric who was bourdain's best friend who also was the one that introduced his wife Octavia to him was the one that found him dead in his hotel room in france.
He just finished shooting parts unknown in Hongkong.

To say I am shook is an understatement.
I hope my friends are okay.
I know it's trying times now but this too shall pass. And when it does It will be a glorious day.

This part of my life is called - happyness

AKA


getting ready for my vacation this week.
I've written about the struggle on my travel blog.
That tickles me everytime I write it.

Travel blogger. Ha.

Looking for a saloon where I can get mustard nails done.

Looking for someone to send me GBP to my barclays card. ( I know)

Also super super excited about my vacation.

Need to go loan a camera from my friend and put my new shiny photography skills to use. :)

Still trying to put together a playlist so.

Yeah

Yeah

I'm good. Life is good.

Articles I liked this week

Because I'm all about love and what's better than a love story between two power houses?

Love Story


Because I met Diplo in Lagos, while he was on his Africa tour,
and was most likely one of the people eating steak at COVA while he Dj-ed
Also waited in the rain for his headline performance at Gidifest


Diplo


Because everyone says, you won't compromise.
This Quora question answers this perfectly.

Difficult

Relationship Pro tip:  If someone has too much baggage, we’ll end up carrying a lot of it.


And finally because, aren't we all trying to hack this thing called life?
in the healthiest possible way?

Life hack

Excerpt: "but merely pointing out that
 it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it.
There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do
 for the rest of his life.
But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing,
by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it.
You’ll have lots of company."

This week picked up greatly, you know, if anyone is interested in knowing.
My Travel blog *covers face* has two comments,
And I'm starting a photography class next week- No more shooting on auto!

Told you it picked up.

Be careful what you wish for

Remember how I said I wanted to travel this year.

God heard me and took me literally.

Thats all I'm going to say.

I had been feeling a bit off lately. Slowly hatingmy job ( gasp I know)

And what not.

Then I went to church on sunday and the holy spirit arrested me.

Literally.

Spoke about all the horrid things I was doing( all my totally undeserved days off and the likes)

And most importantly growing where you are planted.

I do not know If I had mentioned this ever- But when I went to do my MSc, one of the conditions I gave myself, My mother and all related stake holders was that- I would ONLY do one year when I move back at my old job- I also need to point out that I am yet to fill out ONE single application even though I had crossed the threshold.

Anyway fast forward to one year being of being at work ( or as I like to call it 5 holidays later #humblebrag)

And I was over it.

Anyways I'm back on it. and I was so super productive yesterday> I loved it.

I'm also planning a retirement party for one of my Managers. It is lowkey weird how I am logistics correspondence for my sector at work.

I love it.

I plan to make a more concerted effort at keeping in touch with old friends.

I am so excited. About what- I do not know, BUT I am quivering with excitement.

I want to go to dxb to look for a dress and pick out my wedding band.

Although I already have one- I want another one.

#colormegreedy

I am in such an amazing mood.
OMG I think someone in my office has the most obscene crush on me.

It is the cutest and equally irresponsible thing.

ha ha ha.

The oddest thing for me regarding hitching my wagon to one person is having to deal with all these other men.

It is so weird.

I went to the Lagos make up fair over the weekend.

Nigerian make up artistes over feel themselves.

Ahn ahn.

Uncle do you see me giving potential clients attitude?

No- Please be nice to potential customers. I am petty enough to pick my MUA ( in Itunu's voice) based soley on the fact that the person is nice to me.

I like to think I am beaut and so- NO need for excess face painting.

My friend Demilade Roberts also opened up his photo studio!

Super exciting for me because I really really really like when my friends are doing well.

I went by to get some head shots but forgot to wear a bra.

side bar- Can we talk about how my boobs woke up one day and decided to be D cups?

Like HELLOOOO. BREASTICLES - You are supposed to allow me flourish on days when I dont want to wear a bra- Not swinging around like pendulum. * urgh*

Anyways my head shots are useless because  I am unable to use them to stunt on the gram because my twins were just doing anyhow.

But the photos were ace tho #m3lanineonfleek :)


My nails are looking hella lavish after the horrible scene from Vegas.

I think I will refer to my nail length as BV and AV. ( before Vegas and After Vegas)

I noticed a lot of bloggers ( who write because- not them awon linda)  aren't blogging as much any more ( Myself inclusive); Is it because of trying to monitize?

I dunno o. either way Its sad, You people should update me on your lives dammit. It is the only way I know what you are up to.

One of my bestest friends who is male (Yall can guess who, names starts with D) got engaged.

I was so deliriously happy. Because now we are on the same page and discuss marriage shit and ring styles all damn day!

hahaha!

I met D ( who is really Debo) so stop stressing about guessing who over 5 years ago and he quickly became a staple in my life.

I always yack about not having friends; or having bad friends but again #colormegreedy

when in truth I have been quite luckily re- friendship. I mean I lost a few to pettiness. ( mine and thiers) and some to loyalty to other parties ( I fancy myself a queen- off with their heads!),

I mean I have friends from work that have moved on but we still keep in touch and I have been unable to make new friends from work ever since ( color me resistant to change and adjustments) ha

Ps- coworkers used to call us "black berry babes"

Urgh- Do you not just hate Nigerian co workers?

Anyway just an update because I find that you guys need to know what I have been up to.

Finally; I was facetiming my aunt who asked where I was and I said casually oh I am at F's house.

side bar, Can we generally agree on what to refer to my future husband as? I'm leaning towards Eros?

can we do that?
Yes we can!

So I told her I was at Eros's house and she said ahn, she was wondering because it did not look like my house.

So I showed her my make shift closet  and she squealed- She could not believe that I brazenly moved in. and then she said the funniest most innappropriate thing.

She said- It is always good to try before you buy.

That anytime she goes to the store and does not try on clothes she buys- she always returns them.

Me- * dumbfounded*

Are your aunties supposed to suggest pre-marital sex?

Or is it only my family that is that grossly inappropriate?

Holidays and The Ever Elusive Perfect body.

Urgh. Not the body talk again.

I know.
I just wanted to let every one know that I would be going under the knife to achieve those abs that have been avoiding me.

LOL. That is a lie.
This is the mini body rant.


Miami in a week- And I am still not bikini body ready.

Which is obviously why I bought a once piece with the most beautiful coverall.

I will not reduce my bride price or allow people ask me wretched questions like - So how far along are you now?

LOL.

I am exaggarating. No one in their right mind asks me such a question, without getting slapped.

Verbally.

Although in my mind- I drop kick them with my never ending legs.

Houston has been amazing. I can actually move here, But I wont because I am not mad.

This is by far the best holiday in a while.

Lesson to self: stop waiting for people to make plans.

Make your plans and people will fall in line.

PS: ALSO CHOOSE FORGIVENESS ALWAYS.

pss: And when giving blow jobs, do it on your knees. It is easier on your neck.

psss: virtual cookies for anyone who can tell me where that line came from.

12 Days of Christmas.

This is the most amazing thing!
I love Christmas.
I love December- I get to a review of my year and I get to spend it with family.

Plus I have like 10000 weddings.
Now I'm not sure if the 12 days start from today.
But if it does, Here is my day one present to you my readers.

!2 days of Christmas. Straight, No chasers.

This is GOLD!!!!!!!!

It makes me cheese so hard!

1:59 is my best part

Update

Because writing is sooooooo last year.

In the audio, I said I would do a transcript, but I listened and it sounds quite clear so I am not doing one, and I just cant be bothered.

After you listen to this you'll know why I am not a fan of telephone hook ups!

Life changing and other cool stories

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed- (Genesis 2:25 KJV)

So today instead of preparing my SRM, I was here trawling the interwebs, and who do I see?

This life changing blouse. I know I said I did not want anything for my birthday AND I know it has passed

and I know I have promised myself no more asos-ing till next month

-Side bar: Some of my goodies arrived today!

But this blouse is calling all my names, gbo gbo Yoruba o, ati Isoko pelu nick names sef.

I do not know what I am going to do. Worst part. The top is on sale, so I know it is going to go out of stock soon..

Infact there is no more 10, but that is cool a 12 works just as well.

Life changing blouse in all its Peplum glory.

So my dear readers, brothers, sisters if the good Lord lays it down in your heart to gift me this delicious blouse here is the link. Life changing blouse, go on click on it.

Plus the price is reasonable as fuck.

It's just that I have told myself- NO more.

But then again, are rules not meant to be broken?

I do not know. this blouse speaks to my soul.

Someone do something!

Skyfall, Birthday and some Carrie fever!

First Skyfall tomorrow!

Yay! While I'm not really game on Daniel Craig being the new bond, I have to admit the 50 years of Bond drama on Mnet all month has whet my appetite for the new movie. It premiers tomorrow I think, which is purrfect because

Second

Its My BIRTHDAYYYYYY! * Runs around in circles squealing*

I actually did not have Birthday fever until this morning when I got my 1st present.

HELLO FLOODDD GATES!

I just threw in the Carrie fever, because you know- a Sex and the City Box set would be nice.

I am so excited about my present because it is not even my birthday yet!

I have some random runs to get up to tomorrow- and my client has been on his best behavior all day long including yesterday. While I don't really like ass kissing, I must commend my client, Negro has mastered the art so well, I almost forgave him, Then I remembered.

And gave him small ela this morning- you know, just to keep him in line.

I can not wait to close from work today, And take tomorrow off and just rest you know?

Anyways I was trawling the webs instead of working- which is totally irresponsible because I have sooo much work to do, and I saw this
Why Nigerian girls find it difficult to get married

So I thought I should read it, you know since I am not married and I am languishing in the 9th circle of hades that is singledom. * insert eye roll here*

I was so irritated.

I always get irritated when I see shit like that- Like men really still think like this?

You know while I was on holiday, my family friend has a really good job and said he can not wait to marry a woman who is totally as successful as him. Why? I asked- I mean his mother is Igbo so I wrongly assumed he would be one of those men who want to just spoil women.

He was like " Hell no, If she has such a good job, Double Income household baby, 2 holidays a year, where we don't plan, we would put up a map throw a dart, pack our bags and hit the road or private jet- I don't care"

Men like that who see the big picture are those that make me happy to be female.

While I am not saying that women don't have bad xters or that women aren't frivolous. What is wrong in a woman making some decent money for herself and spoiling herself?

So when she pretends to love the pauper lifestyle during the courtship and she gets married and reverts to her " money to blow" lifestyle what happens then??

To men like the writer- all I have to say to you is this

Go hard, or Go home***.

 You can not be crying about rich women and be a pauper- Nobody wants your dirty stinking broke ass.

There is nothing worse than dating a man who gives you undue drama and is now poor to add to the equation. ( FYI: All men come with a healthy drama dose, do not be deceived)  The least you can do for yourself as a woman is to have some common sense to get a man who can look after you some economic power, and have something going on for you.

Okay rant over.

But really tho, I do not see the big fuss in getting hitched- asides the wedding which is absolutely delish and I totally enjoy.

And why do people always assume you want to wash/mark/celebrate/do something for your birthday?

For some of us, its a day of unmerited gift collection hopefully in Cash.

or Bags, because you know the right bag makes the world go round and round and round.






***= I hope it is large enough to push your unambitious ass to make something out of your broke self

Bigger person

Some kind of evil can not be overcome by good. Sometimes you need to overcome such evil with a greater kind of evil- Chronicles of Riddick. 

So today, I walked into my client site, one hour late- which was no ones fault but mine.

But my client saw me and tried to come and start talking smack,

OOOOOHHHHH I gave him the ela of HIS LIFE.

The ela should have been tagged Ela of life. So hot, hotter than Amala,

and let me tell you, it felt so damn good.

All that talk of being the bigger person and client first went right out the window.
You should have seen his face. He could not believe it was this same me that had been so nice and helpful these last weeks that was being so mean to him.

Like- I told him I am working round the clock to give you your account and I am going on leave on monday. if you do not give me whatever it is I need before close of business tomorrow just forget your account till I return from leave.  and some other things I wont say here, because I mean, who knows if one of my readers decides to employ me tomorrow.

Bottom line is this.  I have now transferred the aggression AND if he had a blog, I am positive he would be writing about how much of a bitch his auditor is.

Mission accomplished.

Happy

And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at his feet giving him thanks... ( Luke 17:15-16)

I am so happy and thankful!

Wheeeeeeee!

And this has nothing to do with my pending birthday for which I am yet to figure out what I plan to do with myself.

My mother plans to organize a party for me- for the induction.

we looked through the clothes I own sef- and found nothing decent to wear.

I am so excited for her- She almost can not believe it,

This year was so full of good tidings for me. It is amusing and to think I started my 1st audit job this year in tears.

Now- I am doing Senior work. I have staff. I am meeting deadlines.

I am growing in paid employment.

I am sha happy.

:)

Are you guys happy?

Please be happy.

I have sooo much to speak about. But I have no time.

Hopefully soon I will have some time to talk about all the delicious goodness of my life.

Thank you Jesus!

* falls on face*

Newest Blog Obsession

When I find a blog I like- I read all the posts.

From the latest till the oldest- Forget about the work I'm paid to do, This is the shit I live for!

Personal blogs even better!

I even contact the writers for passwords of protected posts.

AND THEY NEVER SAY NO?

why? What is a stranger on the internet going to do with your post- asides plagiarize it?

I really really really hate those short story/ poet-y/ creative writer blogs.

They are borderline ninja status. and Irritate the hell out of the amebo inside my very soul. even more than laborious reading

HOWEVER, I have found one I like.

I have no idea IF it is a personal blog because the stories seem realistic at the same time so damn off, or it just gives off this ninja vibe.

Nothing personal- Yet I feel like I can know the person through the posts.

And the writer doesn't even know he/she does that- See? serious Ninja undertows.

Doesn't change the fact I like it though.

So here is my newest blog obession- How people write so properly sometimes baffles me

They must have so much free time at work - a part of me thinks.

Not really- another part replies. They are probably just patient enough to proof read whatever they throw up on the web.

so here- Newest obsession Blog  go on. click it. you know you are dying to find out what/who has my knickers in a twist like this.

The last time I went on a drive with my friend Debo- was two years ago.

Debo's car was bad so he rolled up in his sister's Rav4 and turned on the radio as I got in.

Tracy was playing.

We listened to fast car on repeat as we drove through lagos, from my house in Ikoyi. to our primary school in apapa, to his grand mothers house in Illupeju, through lagos Island where were went to seek out this pepper soup that has spaghetti in it back to my house.

And that was one of the best times I spent with Debo- Forget the fact that I always spend " best" times with him

LOL.

So when I found my new obsession liked tracy- I knew the time had come to share.

Ps: I am LOWKEY excited about this party tomorrrowwwwwwwww! Like I can not wait!

*squeal* I need to make more friends that have parties- and get myself invited!

My friend that we taught together at the public school sent me a message yesterday.

Apparently our students have started checking their results and calling their VP.

Who in turn, called him to relay the good news.

While she doesn't have exact percentages- Turns out My students are doing remarkably better than those of last year.

Ecstatic doesn't cover how I feel.

Its ridiculous to feel this much happiness and Joy over something that doesn't affect your life in any way.

But I'm unduly happy.

Makes me consider quitting my Job and teaching full time.

If only I could resist the siren call of the finer things in life. *sigh*

None the less!!!
Congratulations Sabirah & Tobi!

You are both amazing!