Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Holidays and The Ever Elusive Perfect body.

Urgh. Not the body talk again.

I know.
I just wanted to let every one know that I would be going under the knife to achieve those abs that have been avoiding me.

LOL. That is a lie.
This is the mini body rant.

Miami in a week- And I am still not bikini body ready.

Which is obviously why I bought a once piece with the most beautiful coverall.

I will not reduce my bride price or allow people ask me wretched questions like - So how far along are you now?


I am exaggarating. No one in their right mind asks me such a question, without getting slapped.


Although in my mind- I drop kick them with my never ending legs.

Houston has been amazing. I can actually move here, But I wont because I am not mad.

This is by far the best holiday in a while.

Lesson to self: stop waiting for people to make plans.

Make your plans and people will fall in line.


pss: And when giving blow jobs, do it on your knees. It is easier on your neck.

psss: virtual cookies for anyone who can tell me where that line came from.

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