Friday, November 30, 2012

Life and closed chapters

When I was in my 2nd year- I met the wrongest boy for me at that time.

And it cost me my university degree.

Best part, he was not even mine to begin with.

Since then I have had no negative experiences with men.

Well except that other Yoruba boy.

Note the 1st boy was Yoruba too.

These two have provided the blanket with which I shroud Yoruba boys with uselessness and  they are both the sole reason i pepper yoruba boys with insults every chance I get.

Why is this important,  it is important because, looking back, it sort of makes me a better person.

I know now to steer clear of Yoruba boys and how easily it is for me to get derailed.
this is something I paid and I feel I am still paying dearly for,

But at the same time, I am thankful I did not have this experience when I was 35.

18 seems to be the perfect age to wreck your life, you are you g enough to pretend to learn and old enough to actually listen.
And you have some common sense to actually put your life back on track you know?

The one thing I truly truly truly truly regret is allowing one of the Yoruba boys into my sugar gates,

Following the discussion with my home girls last Sunday, I have been contemplating going for deliverance.

I know- I just can not deal with the what if he drained some of my knowledge thoughts I keep having.

Maybe I am thinking too much?

Or  maybe this is a rather serious issue.

I feel like a good night out, it is my friends birthday next week *squeal* I can not wait!

I hope we hit the clubs and boogie down. I feel like I am getting old,  who says the word boogie?

Friday is my second Favourite F-word

The first is Fancy.

I do not think the 3rd needs to be said. It's french.

I feel like my family is putting me under undue pressure to get married

I feel know I am not Physcologically ready to get married.

But everyone keeps saying- you are not young.

You the thing I did not want to share?

I am still not going to share- But everything is falling into place.

The lines are falling into pleasant place.

I am changing and becoming the person I want to be.

I am happy.

Are you happy? Friday is a good day.

Fridays are the best days!

:) :) :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

Employment, Envy and Cyber Monday

I always say unplanned Waka is always ace.

My home girl Nemsky gaggles came to visit me with Ogo my other home girl.

While Ogo left Inem stayed and I had a couple of other guests over.

fast forward to 10pm, I convinced her to stay, we played WHOT in which I trashed the shit out of her.

-sidebar: I am the undisputed Queen of WHOT.

So I also convinced her to join me and attend this church I wanted to check out the 2nd time.

I am still unconvinced about whether I want to leave my own church & join another one.

Inem is sold sha- she loves it.

on the ride back home, Inem and I sang lots of christain songs and we agreed ministration via songs are always ace.

We got home, she taught me how to use photoshop, pic stitch, etc etc and I convinced her to see the stage play.

she claimed she was going to use her last cash to see it. We Loved it!

- side bar: I am an acclaimed clapper at the cinema.

I am that horrible person who keeps giving commentary and silly side comments  during the movie.

In my defence, the comments are funny.

Anyway what I love about stage plays, audience interaction.

And no one really knows who said what.

So seeing with with Inem and Tola was perfect. They are not as afflicted as  I am, but they it is always nice.

I also saw a LOT of people there. I saw Sabirah and the partner. Yilu and Dami. and loads and loads and loads of people who I had no idea were into arts.

It was a good afternoon.

Afterwhich we went to ocean's basket and we sat there and had lunch and basic girl stuff.

We spoke about sex-

Side bar- Sex has been featuring rather frequently in most conversations I find myself having.
you know, with boys girls etc. I am thankful for the awareness and the risks etc etc that I learn during these conversations.

and some other mundane things.

I am thankful for female friends, who are a breathe of fresh air.

I am also on the prowl for clearer skin and hence I am jumping on the clinique wagon.

they have a 123 step thingy. Usually because I have overtly sensitive and easily irritable and severely acne prone skin, I am skeptical about change of soap/ change of cream/ change of beauty products.

But I spoke to my aunt who lives in londres and said she has been using it for 20 years.

I do knew few people who have been married for 20 years sef. so when she told me that I decided to you know- order a bulk from the overseas.

I miss my sister. I am envious of how her life is panning put- I am happy for her, but low, high key envious.

I want to be in America too and go shopping.

Speaking of America - Today is cyber monday. I mean if you are too tired from all the black friday shopping- use your hands and internet and go shopping online!

America comes up the easiest way to drain you.

Anyway this has only strengthened my resolve to not shop this month.

New birthday present.

Again- Another bottle of Chanel Perfume.

The universe hears me sometimes!

Thursday, November 22, 2012

One, but not the same

The problem with women, is that they listen to other women about what men want- Womilee

Profound, although men have been known to tell lies- or just not know what they want.

My friend Aisha called me a ratchet because I took out my ghana braids for Tola's birthday on friday.

She said - its not even your birthday and you want to do hair.

I think I have shut down work for the year.

I had a dream that two different people gave me N500,000 for getting inducted.


Wanna claim the dream die.

I'm currently trying to take one week off, or maybe 8 days. I am dying to go to dubai!

I really really really really want to go. I have saved the money- Although when I was saving it, I had no idea that is what I was saving it for- LOL

But I am dyinggggg to go.

Now to find who will go with me- the problem with planning it never just ever works out. you know.

and I'd hate to go alone.

or maybe not.

I am rambling.

Am I the only one who doesn't wash her hair so her nail polish doesnt chip?

I mean I will wash plates, wash underwear the now was hair again.

I might as well not even bother doing the nails.

but they are so gorge tho!

Its Date night tonight with Mr Lover! I am excited! well I am always excited.

It is food and my favorite boy after all no?

My friend Omobola oni private jet is arounddd! * squeal* I will def be skipping work tomorrow to hang with her. OR we might just go to lekki and use the nail thingys. for the spa.

Still havn't found the place or what to do to them.

Now I have no idea what to do with my hair. I dont know if I should lock it, or put in a weave or just carry it . Although I hate to carry my natural hair. I think I will stop by the fancy saloon on saturday afternoon after the nail spa on friday. have someone wash and blow dry it

Or maybe I should just get a wig and plait my hair didi, all back. Infact, that is what I will do.

*makes mental note to buy a wig*

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dental Woes

A month ago I discovered my teeth were a lot more sensitive than they usually were.

So I went to a quack dentist. Who attempted an S and P with the ultrasonic machine. Turns out the girl who was supposed to carry out the job was not a dentist. But someone who he had trained.

Nigeria we hail thee.

After getting my cool cash back.

I called my friend at LUTH for a referral.

She recommended one in park view.

So I called them, and it turns to consult cost 10grand

And the S and P cost another 17grand.

Needless to say- I found myself at LUTH.

So I came here registered and dealt with all the red tape.

Luckily for me I ran into my friend who took my case note to a consultant and he saw me.

Took me about 2 hrs to see him. I kuku didn't mind. I don't even want to think about if I had no one to help me jump the queue.

Fastforward to time for the procedure.

The students that were on duty, the consultant didn't like them.

So my friend went to get another student to do it for me.

Luckily for me she found one.

And I needed to pay for the tools I need.

The hospital didn't take cards.

The struggle to find a working ATM begun.

Eventually I found one after walking for ages.

Came back. Paid for my kit. And sat down.

But the dental sit was a bit too low.

Can we move this up a bit? I innocently asked the dentist.

Oh the chair is electric there is no light. We re just going to have to manage.

I didn't mind managing.

Afterall. It was way cheaper than 27grand.

Two minutes later the dentist excuses herself and she returns with a torch light.

Incase you were wondering like I was.

The torch light was for me to hold while the dentist cleaned my teeth.

Yes. I held. Hand held the torch for my teeth to be cleaned.

Anyway, we got past that and one of my remaining fillings had started chipping. ( Which explains the undue sensitivity I had been experiencing)

So I had to have an Xray done.

I came here to the Xray place- but there was no light. So I left and said I'd come back during the week.

So today is tuesday. I left my office, got here and only entered the parking lot( which costs 200N) after I confirmed from my dentist that there was light.

So I literally run to the Xray room. And I greet the nurses there and say I want to take an Xray.

They look at me like I have interrupted their very important discussion and said, the current is not high enough to work the machine.

When will the current be back? I asked hopefully that there was a time table for these things.

We can't say. Just go outside and wait. If it comes up, I will call you.

20minutes later after waiting.

PHCN takes light.

So here I am. Irritated. Teeth sensitive as fuck in a stuffy waiting room at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital. A Federal Institution.

And there is no light.


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Life changing and other cool stories

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed- (Genesis 2:25 KJV)

So today instead of preparing my SRM, I was here trawling the interwebs, and who do I see?

This life changing blouse. I know I said I did not want anything for my birthday AND I know it has passed

and I know I have promised myself no more asos-ing till next month

-Side bar: Some of my goodies arrived today!

But this blouse is calling all my names, gbo gbo Yoruba o, ati Isoko pelu nick names sef.

I do not know what I am going to do. Worst part. The top is on sale, so I know it is going to go out of stock soon..

Infact there is no more 10, but that is cool a 12 works just as well.

Life changing blouse in all its Peplum glory.

So my dear readers, brothers, sisters if the good Lord lays it down in your heart to gift me this delicious blouse here is the link. Life changing blouse, go on click on it.

Plus the price is reasonable as fuck.

It's just that I have told myself- NO more.

But then again, are rules not meant to be broken?

I do not know. this blouse speaks to my soul.

Someone do something!

Monday, November 12, 2012

What is happiness?

To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
Ecclesiastes 2:25-26

I have been happy of late. content. free of worry.

Just you know living life. and stopping to smell the flowers ( figuratively)

I have been feeling so blessed, and so deserving of these blessings!

Two weeks ago, I wanted to see a Shrink, because I thought I needed some objectivity in some issues.

Mid life crises at twenty something? Interesting.

So I asked my friend Oyin Pumping, IF she knew any one.- she always has all these people on speed dial.

and she said- why not see a church counsellor?

and I said- I do not think I want to see some one who will offer to pray with me.

and she said " I have learnt this year that there is nothing God can not do"

Interesting abi? I decided to read a bible passage, and pray. some days. I did, some days I didn't.

I continued and I noticed I felt better. I was not so angry any more.

I did not feel the need to be a better person for anyone.

I felt like- I am how God wanted me to be.

I felt free. relieved. at ease, and dare I say happy.

Now I am not a usually "Sad"/ unhappy person, but in these last weeks, I am learning that who I am is not a function of what I own. ( which is why I did not really want presents, I kind of have a lot of stuff)

I mean people may say - you can never have enough clothes.

But how much do you really need any ways?
Anyway I was reading this amazing article and I knew I had to write what I had been up to these past weeks.

You know another thing about being happy. You can share it. It doesn't diminish.

And that is what is so beautiful about it. It is mutually exclusive from every one else's happiness.

I do not know if I am making any sense BUT, I like how I feel.
and since I started feeling this way, only good things have been happening to me.

Is the universe in sync with me? or is it the universe making me happy?

I do not know, but I quite like it.

For coloured girls who have considered suicide when the heap of birthday gifts weren't enough

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life. Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?- (Luke 12:25&26 NIV)
So what have I been up to?

Nothing & everything.

It was my birthday two Friday's ago and I learnt a very valuable life lesson.

No everyone is meant to be a bigger person/ nicer person.

For my birthday, I told my self I would make the concious effort to be a nicer person, put people first, consider others, etc etc etc.

So I went to my University to get my certificate, and the lady there asked me to please wait to let her dispel the crowd in her office.

Because it was my birthday and I was trying to be the bigger person- I said yes, Mistake of life.

I spent three hours waiting there. finally left and spent another 3 in traffic back.

Pissed does not even describe me.

On my way home I was already late, my driver then said one of my aunt's wanted to courier something to Warri. I should have said no but in the spirit of being a bigger/better/ more patient person I erroneously said yes.
More time wasting.

Till today two weeks later, I regret those decisions, I know they say regret is futile, but I am so mad at myself for not being true to me. In essence those decisions made by birthday shit.

1. I didn't see the lover
2. I my small chops came cold because I was not there to pick it up.
3. My guests were kept waiting.

However, I fell sick the next day, so no I did not see skyfall, I did not pass GO and I did not collect $200.

Sunday was a little better, I went to church and yada yada yada.

The next week turned out better.

It was my Induction on Wednesday- and one of the few things I live for- Making my mother proud -was what that day was about.

I was in a skirt suit, I was in heeled shoes, I was on my best behaviour. It just felt surreal. My mother could not believe it.

She was cheesing so hard. I wish I even won a prize. lol jk.

Any way after the event, she had a mini come chop for me- which really consisted of her own friends and well wishers, and her church members, while my guests sat outside in the back.

we moved in after her own guests left, and it was just bants on bants on bants.

Friday was major for me because I finally got myself sorted out. * fingers crossed*

ALSO the lover gifted me vouchers for the nail saloon *qm lounge* while I am excited, I am also skeptical about a business that the only thing on the site is a flier.

Low key suspicious.

Anyway I will have to find some time to take myself there.

Saturday morning had me and the lover rush to silver bird to watch Skyfall.

Action sequence of life yo!

Very Un bond like. and I now find myself searching the web for Ian flemming books.

I remember not wanting anything for my birthday this year, and still getting many things.

Nothing makes one feel as loved as unwanted presents.

It makes me so super thankful for having all these people around me- and the knowledge that for the next 2 years I probably would not have to buy perfume again.


Not like I have ever bought myself perfume. - well maybe that one time when I was pining for the chanel perfume

but that asides.

I had a good week.

I have quit worrying. it makes life so much easier.

wayy easier.

I have also taken to spending money on myself anyhow.

I copped this blouse on spur of the moment last night when I went to see my friend Tinky.

Debo also was so kind to buy me two tubes of lipstick.

However I want more lipstick! LOL.

Also someone asked Debo over the weekend at my house" How does it feel to be Ore's Debo"

LOL, I was so shocked. what the hell is that?

People say the darnest things!

I am at a happy place- even though I still haven't had this cold stone ice-cream. will rectify that today!

Asides that- what has been going on?

Saturday, November 10, 2012


1. I clap for my self literally when I prepare an AFS and the account balances at 1st attempt.

2. I do a litttle dance when my cash flow is perfect at 1st attempt.

3. I do not quite like preparing AFS's anymore.

4. I lowkey wish Nigeria let biafra go.

5. I think dating ( the getting to know someone phase) is so hard and awkward. If I ever get into the market, I would create a checklist, and put it up here with an apply within if you meet 80% of the requirements. No jokes.

6. I still want there to be a Biafra republic.

7. I want to go into the government. My mother thinks its suicide for my career. Plus I am really aggressive, government is for slow thinkers.- she says.

9. This year has been an amazing year for me. A bit too amazing

10. I'm quite content with my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm on auto pilot

11. I have started relating with God again. I love it.

I will be back with a real post of what I have been up to.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Skyfall, Birthday and some Carrie fever!

First Skyfall tomorrow!

Yay! While I'm not really game on Daniel Craig being the new bond, I have to admit the 50 years of Bond drama on Mnet all month has whet my appetite for the new movie. It premiers tomorrow I think, which is purrfect because


Its My BIRTHDAYYYYYY! * Runs around in circles squealing*

I actually did not have Birthday fever until this morning when I got my 1st present.


I just threw in the Carrie fever, because you know- a Sex and the City Box set would be nice.

I am so excited about my present because it is not even my birthday yet!

I have some random runs to get up to tomorrow- and my client has been on his best behavior all day long including yesterday. While I don't really like ass kissing, I must commend my client, Negro has mastered the art so well, I almost forgave him, Then I remembered.

And gave him small ela this morning- you know, just to keep him in line.

I can not wait to close from work today, And take tomorrow off and just rest you know?

Anyways I was trawling the webs instead of working- which is totally irresponsible because I have sooo much work to do, and I saw this
Why Nigerian girls find it difficult to get married

So I thought I should read it, you know since I am not married and I am languishing in the 9th circle of hades that is singledom. * insert eye roll here*

I was so irritated.

I always get irritated when I see shit like that- Like men really still think like this?

You know while I was on holiday, my family friend has a really good job and said he can not wait to marry a woman who is totally as successful as him. Why? I asked- I mean his mother is Igbo so I wrongly assumed he would be one of those men who want to just spoil women.

He was like " Hell no, If she has such a good job, Double Income household baby, 2 holidays a year, where we don't plan, we would put up a map throw a dart, pack our bags and hit the road or private jet- I don't care"

Men like that who see the big picture are those that make me happy to be female.

While I am not saying that women don't have bad xters or that women aren't frivolous. What is wrong in a woman making some decent money for herself and spoiling herself?

So when she pretends to love the pauper lifestyle during the courtship and she gets married and reverts to her " money to blow" lifestyle what happens then??

To men like the writer- all I have to say to you is this

Go hard, or Go home***.
 You can not be crying about rich women and be a pauper- Nobody wants your dirty stinking broke ass.

There is nothing worse than dating a man who gives you undue drama and is now poor to add to the equation. ( FYI: All men come with a healthy drama dose, do not be deceived)  The least you can do for yourself as a woman is to have some common sense to get a man who can look after you some economic power, and have something going on for you.

Okay rant over.

But really tho, I do not see the big fuss in getting hitched- asides the wedding which is absolutely delish and I totally enjoy.

And why do people always assume you want to wash/mark/celebrate/do something for your birthday?

For some of us, its a day of unmerited gift collection hopefully in Cash.

or Bags, because you know the right bag makes the world go round and round and round.

***= I hope it is large enough to push your unambitious ass to make something out of your broke self

Emails at 1am

This week the love of my life Uloh was in town. Sooo we went out eating drinking running and just generally doing nuisancey shit around tow...