On Celibacy

One of the reasons I decided to become celibate was because I had noticed a trend of waning interest in men who are absolutely shaking me, after I have sex with them.


And I absolutely wanted to will myself to follow through.
Anyway. fastforward to my meeting my hot date.
and sleeping with him after one two many sleep overs.

I don't think I like him anymore.

Yall- this man was shacking the fuck out of me.
I can't put my finger on what has changed.
I remember telling Yorubae that honestly the thought of getting married never crossed my mind till his ass rotated into my orbit.

So I fuck him a couple of times, and I'm like- meh

I am so lukewarm, he keeps asking  me what is wrong and I'm like - oops.

Like when I'm with him we still have a good time, but once I leave, LOL.

it's almost like out of sight and out of mind.

And yall he is a GREAT guy. Like fantastic by all ramifications. If I made a list, minus his lack of a foreign passport, He'd check a good number of boxes.

But yet- I'm irritated by him. Sometimes.
Case in point, he was sick sick and didn't go to work, and yall I was like oh, get yourself to the Hospital.

He didn't and I was like okay cool.

didn't offer to send him food, didn't ask what drugs do you need. Nothing

and I didn't feel a type of way.

Is this madness?

I'm equal parts confused, equal parts amused.

I feel like I know I shouldn't have fucked him.
I really enjoyed how light headed he made me and now I'm back to earth, I'm like eek.