Friday, March 22, 2013

New House

Hey Guys!

If you notice there is some k-legged thing going on with my blog re- main page and why I love page.

I know I know- since I am too lazy to attempt to restore to factory layout- I just moved to wordpress.

Who says the easiest way is not the best. So now I blog at My new blog- Obviously which unlike this one, Its all clean lines and black and white- very minimalist.

Okay blogger, it has been real. Bye.x

Thursday, March 21, 2013

... Blogging

People see me and say why do you not have a reality TV show?

I say oh - I do not need a reality Tv show I have a blog!

I like blogging because my punctuation does not have to be perfect,

Because I can sound like a complaint box all the damn time and no one can tell me to shut up and be grateful.

Because it is where I come to clear my head- well here and my journal

Mostly here.

Because I forget I am over sharing- then I remember after I click publish.

But these are are likes- the one reason I absolutely love blogging

I how easy it is to know what someone is up to without being vested in their lives.

Sinister, I know- but don't blame me.. Blame the internet.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Pink paper packages tied up in string!



I did not realize how much joy we Nigerians are derived of by not having a functional postal system.

Yes NIPOST- You suck!

Anyways, since I moved here, I have been shopping online in large amounts and all that and the best part-
getting my stuff in the mail.

The joy of my buzzer waking me from sleep at 10am and hearing the scottish accent of the post man murder my name!

I literally squeal and sometimes squeak throw on whatever I can find and rush out to the front door to get my  package or whatever.

If I happen to be sleeping to deeply, and none of my flat mates are around, I would not know my darling post man came- except I decide to leave my building and spot his call card.

Which I hate because lets face it, Dundee is too cold for unnecessary waka. But I love packages so much I walk all the way (5mins) to the depot and retrieve my gifts!

Amazon, Ebay, Asos, Zara- Major culprits. Only thing I think I love more than receiving packages- Taking pictures in the fitting room of actual shops.

Anyways all that build up is to inform you about the package I received today.

I like Lipsticks- However giving out half of my makeup because I was moving here was such a bad idea really- Hindsight is 20/20. Anyway that's how I went out this morning, on my way back I peeped into my mail box and saw a package with my name on it!

My heart skipped- Should I go all the way to my flat to get my mail box key or slide my hand into the box and wrestle to get it out?

Impatient me won- I wore my gloves and spent some time struggling with the package- eventually it came out.

It was sealed so tight, I had no idea what it was so obviously I shook the box, raised it to my ears you know the drill- still no give away.

The minute I got to my room- I savagely tore it open!
What did I find- Lipsticks!

I had even forgotten I ordered them!

I was sooooooooooo excited!

When did I become this person that lipstick excites?

Exams start next week! Pray for me you guys praaaaayyy!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Reviews, I like you's and Fist full of tears.

Since I moved here, anything I buy, before I even attempt to buy it, I read AT LEAST 20 reviews.

I have become an IT guru- anyone who disagrees will just have to disagree. ( I would have said  hug transformer but you know new year and all.)

Got a new I hated you but I like you now speech today.

and I'm just girl girrrl please you did not even know me- why did you not like me.

She said and I quote " I do not know, you just seemed so sit in front-y and ask all the questions"

I said Fred sits in front and asks all the questions- Do you not like Fred?

she said - oh she likes fred, BUT WE DO THE SAME THINGGG!

I did not say that though- I just said " well I did not know you and so I was indifferent, but now I know you, I like you"

She defensively added how she wasn't the only one who doesnt/ didnt like me.

I told her- Its okay, you are not the only one who doesn't know me.

And she said- are you not bothered that people do not like you.

Me: Not since I my Js2 In Queens college.

Her: Why? Me: Because I do not want to know everyone. relationships are investments I give my 100% to if I have no interests in investing in you 100%, I'd rather not be half baked.

F( my other friend) aka my cupcake: Yah Ore says relationships drain her-

Me: They replenish me too- I do not want relationships where I can not put in 100%  and 2nd where I do not trust the value you will be adding to my life.

Her: So analytical, urgh. Me: you'll be fine and we moved on.

I am beginning to wonder why people are obsessed with being liked. I know I might seem contrary but what is the use of 10000 people liking you? Like you aren't running for Student Union president or anything- What do you really do with the likes.

I strongly believe I can make everyone like me if I tried- But to be the honest the work put in just outstrips the benefit a thousand times over ( hello- Economic analytical thinking in terms of cost benefit analysis!)

That's just me personally, If I like you and you are my friend- I will go the extra mile for you. If I do not know you- a lackluster hi- is what you'll get a good day- if you don't like it, then you don't like it.  Life isn't primary school- everyone does not have to like you.

I feel like as I go along and build my little cocoon of people I will study with, shop with, go on lunch dates with etc etc in the next one year here( sometimes referred to as friends), I will be getting that a lot. I hated you when I did not know you- and now that I know you, I can not get enough of you.

And even if I already knew at the back of my mind how I would not deviate from this tried and tested method of making friends ( AND I DID TRY- I was smiling and making mindless chatter with people my instincts said No to, - and I am now stuck with trying to shake off), I mean I get an A for effort.

But really, why change the lock if it isn't broken?


Enough of that- I am pleased with those I have around me- Trinidad, lebanese, Ugandian, Nigerian.

And for now- these work.

How  is it that this morning before church I was attempting to study and in one of the many numerous breaks I took, I ended up downloading spotify on my iphone and searched out Maxwell.

After listening to Pretty wings( which is my absolute Favorite btw), I skipped songs until I came across " Fist full of tears". Until today I had never heard it, but I think I have fixed that, I have probably listened to it more times than Maxwell recommended.



Cus I, I go insane
Crazy sometimes
 trying to keep you from
 losing your mind
Open your eyes,
See whats in front of face
Save me my fist full of tears.


Hope you all have a good week, and while I am at it- I saw this bible passage  Ecc 5:15- Basically reminding us that while we toil day and night we must remember that we came into the world naked with nothing, and that is how we shall leave. People I know there is work, and school and a million and one things to do on your to do list- but this week, try to make out time to smell the flowers you know? Take out time to chill and drink juice.





Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Women and the work place.

Did you know that for men there is a positive co-relation between their success and their likability?

And for women- it is negative?  Basically means that the more successful you are- the less people like you- Because you are successful!

In class on Monday  I had a discussion ( well not discussion) more like an educated argument with one of those people- who feel the need to hear the sound of their own voice.

He asked a question that had been discussed during the first portion of our program- And so I asked him" Did you attend the Induction program, because we had treated this issue in detail there" and everyone started laughing.

It was not funny because I was being serious, we are hear to learn and you think it is okay to serenade everyone with your voice but we all have things to do.

And this guy literally said " It is good to be smart, but it is not good to be too smart"

I just hissed.

After the class- Another of my "African brothers" from Malawi said and I quote " You are going to get slapped for challenging your colleagues in class"

Off course I told him off- and said who ever even thinks- Just thinks of raising his hand to touch me because I spoke to him in class- and not out of turn- will get two slaps just for thinking it.

He was shocked and said I should relax- and he is just looking out for me- I said thank you if you want to look out for me, help me with this my methodology and that's how we started talking about the methodology.

I will not delude myself into thinking that being an African (Nigerian) Woman in a male dominated field in an UK is doing me any favors- BUT I will not give anyone room to add any more barriers to my climb.

I am not afraid to make cheeky comments, or to question the authority of the lecturer or to express a varying view especially as I hail from a developing country where I have experienced all the problems that the IMF and the World bank and all their working papers are trying to solve.

So what I do not understand is WHY another African would say stuff like that to me. Off course I told him maybe in his country the women are meek and subservient but this is not his country- so he should and would get used to it.

I do not delude myself into thinking that people like successful women in the workplace, because they do not- We ( Yes I am part of a successful woman in the work place) talk too much, or we are too forward ( thats the Nigerian favorite) or whatever.

During a networking program we had in my center building, I was got my food and when I was done, this Nigerian guy saw me- with my hands full and said to me " will you serve me?" I said " Nope" and walked away.

Some one said " ahn he was only asking you to serve him", and I said " my hands are full, but lets forget my hands are full, did he not see you to ask?"

this guy replied me- He can not ask me now-  And this is what I am talking about, No you can not ask your female professional colleague who has her hands full to serve you food- forget that I am Nigerian, I did not leave Lagos to come and cater to you.

That being said- I am coming to terms with people not liking me ( not because I am a douche- which I am sometimes) But because I am awesome

I am coming to terms with owning my successes- No more exchanges like this "what did you get?" Me: A. Him" Ah you are lucky, who helped you study". Me: Huh?

I'm changing that Huh to- No one, I am hardworking and I deserved that A.

And I am writing this here so that in 5 years or maybe 5 months when I am being cautioned to " tone it down"

This would remind me that no one got to the top by toning it down.

I am certainly not the only one who feels that way.

she feels the same  here



Ps: I ran into the " over smart boy " today at the library and said I did not appreciate your comment especially since what I said was not made with the intent to disrespect you. And he said " I felt compelled to say that, because the whole class was laughing and I felt very bad" I told him- It was not my intention to make you feel bad, I was just letting you know that we had discussed it before- AND I KNOW YOU WERE THERE WHEN WE DISCUSSED IT.

While I did apologize for him feeling bad- He did not apologize for what he said about me- And I told him, you do not have to like me, I do not even need you to like me, but the simple fact that I am sitting in that class with him, I have earned and I deserve his respect, you do not speak to people who have proved themselves in that manner. And that going forward I look forward to having more discussions in class with him.

Hopefully more civil and less shade throwing will be involved.

Now I do not want anyone to think " Oh she is angry she does not want anyone to like her- OH I want people to like me, BUT I would rather they disliked me because I was successful, than like me because I am unsuccessful. - Hopefully this sentiment will not change.

Have a good week guys- And women out there remember " the world is yours for the taking- Only if you reach out for it"









Monday, March 11, 2013

Calling ALL absconded bloggers

I wish you guys will blog more.

I mean now I have fast internet so I afford to open 100 tabs- You people have stopped blogging.

I can't keep in touch with all my friends so I use their blogs to make sure they are okay.

While I'd hate to find that you are pregnant via your blog- I'd hate more by seeing baby pictures 9 months later.

You guys need to blog more because I need material for our discussions. It saves us the first 20 minutes of skirting around issues.

I mean I am in school now- I don't have the luxury of wasting my employers precious time and money chatting away on my bb.

Most importantly- You need to blog so that moments like this- When its 5am in the morning and I want to take a break from studying I have something to read.

So guys- Please Blog.

*side eye* at Torera and Oyinkan I know you guys are busy, But you need to blog anyways.




Sunday, March 10, 2013

Mothers day and anger management

Its saddening to know that when I am helpless I STILL DISSOLVE INTO A PUDDLE OF TEARS!

I could swear I had become more patient, less angry and more on top of things.

Maybe I am hard on myself, but I am so upset with myself for getting upset.

and then ranting about it on twitter. No I wont delete the tweets, I'll leave them there to remind myself the next time I want to flip or lose my coool- that you seem retarded and crazy and irrational.

Thats a lie- My reaction was perfectly normal. If I was a 12 year old.

I do not like being angry. I make the shittiest decisions and then regret it afterwards.

Well what happened?

Today is Mothers day, and since I can not be home to be with superwoman, I sent her flowers.

How?

Well I called the flower company in ikoyi, paid fro the flowers and for delivery and let that rest

I was even extra proud I did not hassle anyone to help me pick up or anything like that- I just you know- handled my business, neat nice and wrapped that bad boy up.


I mean I'm up till 6 am so when I eventually wake up by 12pm, My sister messages me- that the flowers did not come- In my sleepy state, I'm like wo its lagos, I'm sure it will come.

and I go back to bed.

I wake up semi- finally by 3pm and I message my sister, THERE ARE STILL NO FLOWERS!!!!!

By now I getting mlidly upset. My sister is "lol-ing" on bbm because it is supposed to be funny.

So I do the only logical thing to do- I call the number- OFF COURSE IT IS SWITCHED OFF!

I message Mr Lover- hey call this number, tell them you are from me, ask them what happened, Please?

He gets back to me- after a life time ( 10 minutes) Bad news, They are closed- Turns out " THEY DID NOT GET THE ADDRESS FOR THE DELIVERY( which I sent 3 times)"

Okay- Shebi you will call me, email me or something IF  you have received payment BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE THE ADDRESS.

I do the next logical thing- Go to the gym. ( which in hind sight was so stupid- I hurt everywhere)

I am already wailing by now- 40 mins on the treadmill, I have calmed down a little.

I call my mum, I apologize for screwing mothers day up and I promise to make it up to her.

her reply - Oh its fine
Me- why are you whispering?
her- I am at a meeting, calm down stop crying I will call you later.

Then off course I start crying again and start ranting on twitter. And people are offering solutions.

Which is nice and all- BUT CAN MY MOTHER JUST GET FLOWERS ON MOTHERS DAY?!!!

Like this is someone who has done EVERYTHING for me, since I can not afford to give her the world- I settle for flowers AND THEY STILL DO NOT COME.

I  am Livid- and I push myself too hard at the gym.

45 mins later- the business owner calls me- ( turns out my lover found her other number and explained the situation to her)- So she calls and apologizes and says she did not get the address and that the flowers will get there asaply.

And now- I don't even want the wretched flowers- I want a refund.

I mean WHO runs a business like that? So if I did not call you that you haven't gotten my address- I mean I have PAID YOU RIGHT????


So I finish up at the Gym- which in my fit of anger I decided to wear shorts to, sans a scarf- I get outside and off course, only naturally  ITS SNOWING.

Like everything that can go wrong- just decided to go wrong.

I mean my legs are freezing, and I realise I have no food to eat so I had to go food shopping IN THE SNOW WITH SHORTS.

Off course- any body in the right frame of mind would have gone home and changed- But I just stormed off to the shop and realised that

1- I did not have a shopping bag
2- a market list

soooooooooo off course I spent an unnecessary amount of money.
and I had to carry everything home ALONE in the cold in my gym shorts.

I'm home looking at all the shopping I did,with body pains and I am just so upset at how the whole day turned out.

I AM STILL SO ANGRYYYYYYYY. OH My GOSH!

I mean, I should have calmed down since this probably wont matter in 6 months- But right now, It matters and I'm pissed and angry and still crying.

Right now- Things are on top of me. and right now- I HATE IT.

anyways happy mothers day to all the amazing mothers who have done the best for their children, no amount of flowers would ever be able to show you how amazing, strong and beautiful you are.

we appreciate you- The damn flower company just doesn't want you to know how much

I need to get a lid on my temper- ESPECIALLY SINCE THERE IS NO ONE TO TRANSFER AGGRESSION TO!

Needless to say- This is the last time I'm ever ever ever going to buy flowers ever in Nigeria. ever.

Bullshit.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Friday, March 8, 2013

Sharing

Today has been so cold and wet and it really upset me since I was upset and planned to drown my "upsetness" in some nice warm retail therapy.

Anyways I eventually started blogged rounds and ended up HERE

IF you are to lazy to read it, it is basically the story of a man who left his job to start up his own company.
It is a story of probably resilience and patience from a significant other.

Most importantly, it is proof that dreams come true.

Have a good weekend guys.x

Also found this amazing message on dating. Listen to it HERE

Thursday, March 7, 2013

What did you think of me?

When I first met you, I had no idea I would ever be your friend. I hated you. You always had your hat and you asked too many questions in class and you never spoke to anyone.


What did you think of me?

I did not think of you.
 I do not really think of people I do not know.

Really?

Really. I remember you had green nail polish and long nails, and I might have wondered how you managed to write, but I had no impressions.


I thought she asked intelligent questions from a place of understanding. I did not know if I wanted to be her friend, but I don't know. She is so cold and rude half the time, I'm surprised she has any friends. I am actually surprised we are friends. But she cooked me dinner when I hadn't eaten and Tesco was closed.


Yesterday at the library I was seated with my friends F and L. One  from Uganda and the other Nigerian.

Somehow we started talking about 1st impressions and that is what they had to say about me.

It just means I have not changed much- My friends from uni always hit me up with I hated you then you did something so random- I loved you.

Same script different cast.

For some weird reason, I find it totally uncomfortable to actually go out of my way and meet people, say hi and make random unnecessary small talk. I do not know why and I am totally uninterested in finding out. But it is how I am wired. If I do not know you odds of me being overtly friendly and jolly especially in such a controlled environment like school= zero.

However. Sometimes, I am able to do it- It's almost like a light switch in my head.

Most times sha- I'm cold and aloof. But despite all the iciness I am one of the nicest people you would probably ever know.

And this is not me blowing my trumpet.

Also in my mind- I have a quota for friends- Like I have 4-5, so I'm fine, I do not want any extra.

Everyone I tell thinks I'm crazy. I think YOU ALL  are crazy. What does anyone do with the knowledge of so many people anyway?

Moral of the story is this- Shut up and do. While small talk is acceptable. A deed leaves a more lasting impression.

" A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed"- Henrik Ibsen.

I even found a quote which sums of one of my life's principles- Shut up and do. Talk is cheap... etc etc.


I actually realize the irony in this post because if you are my friend- I might just talk your ear off. :)



Monday, March 4, 2013

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

You know how I said I was not home sick anymore.

I woke up this morning and saw this "Okoli nylon bag"

and for a minute, my eyes watered- so I found myself chanting ' It will be okay, you are not home sick, you are fine'

And I became fine.

Chanters are us? Maybe.

I just saw the Best exotic Marigold Hotel.- certified tear jerker.

I absolutely love movies like that. Makes one so warm and fuzzy inside.

And is loaded with the best quotes ever!

" The only real failure, is the failure to try"
" You can have everything you want as long as you stop waiting for people to tell you, you deserve it"

AND THE BESTEST
In the end, everything will be okay, if it is not okay- Then it is not the end.

ALSO- that report I stayed up all night writing is not due till Monday the 11th!!!!!!!!!!

No amount of exclamation marks can define and express how I actually feel.

Anyway- I hope you lot have an amazing week- and remember- No worrying all it does is add wrinkles!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

This time



This time I want it all
This time I want it all
Showing you all the cards
Giving you all my heart
This time I'll take the chance
This time I'll be your man.
I can be all you need
This time its all of me.


My ex-boyfriend used to tell me this song reminded me of him when we broke up.

We got back a bit too many times.

This song came up randomly on my itunes and now I can't stop listening to it.

John Legend is such an amazing singer.

Its not like I planned it, left empty handed- I'm still alone in my mind.

Last time I wasn't sure, I messed up I let you go, I need you don't say no.

Pick up the phone. wont you come home?

PS: yes I know this is my 3rd post tonight- this is what happens when you set a deadline and you have to stay awake till 5 am because you wasted your whole Saturday lying in bed nursing a hangover.

And you promised yourself you'd get it done by today.

Facebookers R Us.

I went on facebook and ran into Zer online again.

3 years later and still trying to marry me. As wretched as Yoruba boys are, you have to give it to them.

They are overtly persistent.

So as you recall ( or do not recall because you did not read this random post 3 years ago)

This Negro was still trying to marry me- even worse: he seemed mad that he was in Lagos and tried to reach me and I refused to get in touch with him.

In his words" he can not believe I would do this to him"

In my mind I'm just like " My God! Yoruba boys sha!"

I still feel the same way about buying 70 grand hair.

I am very uncomfortable about it- But now I am less judgmental about people who do things like that.

To each his or her own.

Ps: My writing was terrible back then. Lord Jesus!


2 Months

Its been two months since I left home.

Am I still home sick? Always.

Its cold and drab and yada yada yada yada yada.... I am getting tired of sounding like a complaint box.

But you know what? I'm here now.

So I will be here.

In the last two months- I have met people, some nice. some mean. But hey- its the same in Lagos.

Infact dare I say- the people here are nicer than in Lagos.

The check out people at the counter smile at you, ask you if you need a bag etc etc etc.

Since it is such a small town I walk everywhere, and I like it.

At the risk of sounding like a JJC- being so exposed to a different life here has really "changed me"

well not change but I am indifferent to a lot of things. I keep asking myself- would this matter in one year?

If no. I would not bother getting investing emotions or energy into it.

This relates to everything- meeting people, ordering food, contemplating taking a cab, actually taking a cab.

And life has seemingly become easy for me.

seemingly because I do not know the word to use for this 180 degree turn.

My friend said to me the other day- your life is so perfect. I find myself secretly hoping something bad happens to you.

LOL who says shit like that?


I can not deny God's blessings in my life- I have amazing people around me who I love and love me in return, and I am at a good place in my life.

Like I cant explain it.

Maybe this is what he means by my life being perfect. Then maybe he is right- My life is pretty perfect.

ALSO- I am two shades lighter, probably from all the lack of sun in this city. I am not sure how I feel about it yet.

:) :) :)

This week before anyone of you decides to start wasting time worrying, remember Luke 12:25-26.

Have a good week guys!

Ps: I have something I am dying to share here but I have no idea if it is appropriate or not! *squeal*

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Public speaking

I did not really think this was a problem for Nigerians till I started watching keek videos.

Hi everyone, My name is Xyx and this is my first keek.
 I am quite  shy because I really don't know what to say
so err I am Xyx and hi, hello.
Urm okay. This is my first keek. Like this is my first keek.
I am on my way out I have a date. well not a date date.
but you get * video ends*

I get keek is for fun, but can we do a bit better?

I am sure that person recorded 20 videos, i do not want to imagine what the earlier ones seemed like.

I do not know if I am just being a bitch or the actual disconnect in the narration of that girls keek really upset me.

You can not be a degree holder and be unable to make a 30 second video without saying urm. like. you know, you get, and still not make complete sentences that make sense.

How can you be quite shy because you do not know what to say?

I do not know.
But watching that keek video really irked me.

I will be back with a non- rant like post later.

ps: That is the transcript of a real keek video.

Drive

You drive I'm assuming? Your assumptions are correct, do you need me to pick you up? No, but thank you. You are welcome. ...