What did you think of me?

When I first met you, I had no idea I would ever be your friend. I hated you. You always had your hat and you asked too many questions in class and you never spoke to anyone.


What did you think of me?

I did not think of you.
 I do not really think of people I do not know.

Really?

Really. I remember you had green nail polish and long nails, and I might have wondered how you managed to write, but I had no impressions.


I thought she asked intelligent questions from a place of understanding. I did not know if I wanted to be her friend, but I don't know. She is so cold and rude half the time, I'm surprised she has any friends. I am actually surprised we are friends. But she cooked me dinner when I hadn't eaten and Tesco was closed.


Yesterday at the library I was seated with my friends F and L. One  from Uganda and the other Nigerian.

Somehow we started talking about 1st impressions and that is what they had to say about me.

It just means I have not changed much- My friends from uni always hit me up with I hated you then you did something so random- I loved you.

Same script different cast.

For some weird reason, I find it totally uncomfortable to actually go out of my way and meet people, say hi and make random unnecessary small talk. I do not know why and I am totally uninterested in finding out. But it is how I am wired. If I do not know you odds of me being overtly friendly and jolly especially in such a controlled environment like school= zero.

However. Sometimes, I am able to do it- It's almost like a light switch in my head.

Most times sha- I'm cold and aloof. But despite all the iciness I am one of the nicest people you would probably ever know.

And this is not me blowing my trumpet.

Also in my mind- I have a quota for friends- Like I have 4-5, so I'm fine, I do not want any extra.

Everyone I tell thinks I'm crazy. I think YOU ALL  are crazy. What does anyone do with the knowledge of so many people anyway?

Moral of the story is this- Shut up and do. While small talk is acceptable. A deed leaves a more lasting impression.

" A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed"- Henrik Ibsen.

I even found a quote which sums of one of my life's principles- Shut up and do. Talk is cheap... etc etc.


I actually realize the irony in this post because if you are my friend- I might just talk your ear off. :)