Sunday, March 17, 2013

Reviews, I like you's and Fist full of tears.

Since I moved here, anything I buy, before I even attempt to buy it, I read AT LEAST 20 reviews.

I have become an IT guru- anyone who disagrees will just have to disagree. ( I would have said  hug transformer but you know new year and all.)

Got a new I hated you but I like you now speech today.

and I'm just girl girrrl please you did not even know me- why did you not like me.

She said and I quote " I do not know, you just seemed so sit in front-y and ask all the questions"

I said Fred sits in front and asks all the questions- Do you not like Fred?

she said - oh she likes fred, BUT WE DO THE SAME THINGGG!

I did not say that though- I just said " well I did not know you and so I was indifferent, but now I know you, I like you"

She defensively added how she wasn't the only one who doesnt/ didnt like me.

I told her- Its okay, you are not the only one who doesn't know me.

And she said- are you not bothered that people do not like you.

Me: Not since I my Js2 In Queens college.

Her: Why? Me: Because I do not want to know everyone. relationships are investments I give my 100% to if I have no interests in investing in you 100%, I'd rather not be half baked.

F( my other friend) aka my cupcake: Yah Ore says relationships drain her-

Me: They replenish me too- I do not want relationships where I can not put in 100%  and 2nd where I do not trust the value you will be adding to my life.

Her: So analytical, urgh. Me: you'll be fine and we moved on.

I am beginning to wonder why people are obsessed with being liked. I know I might seem contrary but what is the use of 10000 people liking you? Like you aren't running for Student Union president or anything- What do you really do with the likes.

I strongly believe I can make everyone like me if I tried- But to be the honest the work put in just outstrips the benefit a thousand times over ( hello- Economic analytical thinking in terms of cost benefit analysis!)

That's just me personally, If I like you and you are my friend- I will go the extra mile for you. If I do not know you- a lackluster hi- is what you'll get a good day- if you don't like it, then you don't like it.  Life isn't primary school- everyone does not have to like you.

I feel like as I go along and build my little cocoon of people I will study with, shop with, go on lunch dates with etc etc in the next one year here( sometimes referred to as friends), I will be getting that a lot. I hated you when I did not know you- and now that I know you, I can not get enough of you.

And even if I already knew at the back of my mind how I would not deviate from this tried and tested method of making friends ( AND I DID TRY- I was smiling and making mindless chatter with people my instincts said No to, - and I am now stuck with trying to shake off), I mean I get an A for effort.

But really, why change the lock if it isn't broken?

Enough of that- I am pleased with those I have around me- Trinidad, lebanese, Ugandian, Nigerian.

And for now- these work.

How  is it that this morning before church I was attempting to study and in one of the many numerous breaks I took, I ended up downloading spotify on my iphone and searched out Maxwell.

After listening to Pretty wings( which is my absolute Favorite btw), I skipped songs until I came across " Fist full of tears". Until today I had never heard it, but I think I have fixed that, I have probably listened to it more times than Maxwell recommended.

Cus I, I go insane
Crazy sometimes
 trying to keep you from
 losing your mind
Open your eyes,
See whats in front of face
Save me my fist full of tears.

Hope you all have a good week, and while I am at it- I saw this bible passage  Ecc 5:15- Basically reminding us that while we toil day and night we must remember that we came into the world naked with nothing, and that is how we shall leave. People I know there is work, and school and a million and one things to do on your to do list- but this week, try to make out time to smell the flowers you know? Take out time to chill and drink juice.

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I keep getting little signs that maybe I am on the right track, Just maybe,