Friday, June 25, 2010


whenever i hear people say i feel so different, i always want to ask, are any two people alike?

im very different from every one else i know, and ive come to accept me like that, and everyone else accepts me that way too. i think i owe that to Queeens College.

you see, in primary school, i was painfully shy, i was differnet, my parents were seprated, my mother used to work full time, so my grand ma used 2 attend my open days and all that, i never bought any off those things they sokd during open days, i didnt participate in any exta expensive curicular activity.

in a way, i still have that mentality, about neccesity.

anyways on getting to Qc it was a differnt ball game. i made friends, found christ, lost him, found him again, lost a boyfriend, was betrayed and what not. but im ever thankful, you see Qc gave me the ability to be comfotable in my own skin and celebrate my difference.

i had terrible terrible terrible pimples when i was in Qc, and i cried and cried, until one day i just stopped. i realised that my friends didnt think i was ugly, some girl (Anthonia she was in V) thought i was the prettiest girl in my set. WOW.

i dont know how to explain it, but when u see a Qc girl you see what im talking about,the word isnt swag, i cant find th word to describe what it is about every Qc girl but its there.

i know a Qc girl when i see one, for one she always has friends she made from there. honestly speaking if i lost all my friends from uni i may not be bothered, but before i let go of a Qc friend, wow. i dont even think i can do that.

odd thing is that everyone recognizes it too, that qc factor. they see me and say, oh u went to Qc abi? No wonder.

no one is going to come out and tell me how much they admire the fact that i can stand up for myself, or the fact that i am so confident enough to do me or whatever, but i dont need anyone to tell me that, i got all that from Qc.

i really cant explain this, but my daughters are most def attending qc, even if its just 4 the 1st three years. dear future husband... take note.

i just had 2 put that out there. my friend from Qc's sister is getting married. yayyy!!!
its 1:35 am, i should be in bed, the mother is having another party again, 2mao. and yours truly is dress-less.

dear tailor, abeg sew my cloth before 2mao ooooooo abi today?

and womilee is now on twitter, gosh some people are just groupies sha.

and am i the only one that thinks its super funny when i see people are no longer in a relationship on facebook?

i know i cant be the only one. anyways if i am.. hahahahahahahah i think its so funny, how stupid can you get.

and i just realised how fleeting life is. the Lover fell sick on tue and is still sick.
now this may not be such a biggie, but this is someone ive known for almost 4 years and he has never been sick, not to talk of bed ridden sick. ish is scary as hell. he keeps taunting me, with death, i am scared.

i would never tell him im scared, but i am. very scared. i pray nothing happens to him. i hope he gets better soon. i really am not having fun being the mature one. i love being spoilt, and him being sick means i wont get spoilt, which means i would be grouchy, which alos means.. whatever but you sha get the chain reaction.

in totally unrelated news, all my life i have been skinny. like super skinny, now im huge. but dont get it twisted, i LOVE IT!!!! my behind is like a size 12. fabuluex.

so since im finally coming 2 terms with my body, i decide to tone, u know use the gym, not get any extra weight on and stuff. thats how i carried my 2 k legs to d gym.

apparently to lose tummy fat you must lose overall body weight. *gasps*
*waving* bye size 12 behind, it was fun while i owned you.

i still have a cute tooshie tho. at least thats what i have been told.

so bottomline is love yourself, no matter how diagonally parked u feel in a parallel world, there is only one you. so fuck everyone else and live your life jare.

ok quick before i round up, i just saw "baby boy" with tyrese and taraji 4 d 1st time ever. judge me all u want. ehn i know i am late. but that movie is AMAZIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG?!!!! i just thought i should share that oh so important peice of information.

and drat this damn weave, i cant enter rain and dance, i need hair net and shower cap and tinz and d lovers.:( this is not gonna werk.

a very self-absorbed

Thursday, June 24, 2010

na wa.

this is not a rant, i promise.

so why is it that men have been chasing me left right and center of late. make that chasing, fervently pursuing. ahn ahn im not the only girl in lagos, neither am i single. apparently thats all i need.

contrary to popular belief, i wont ever call myself pretty, thats for all the boys and girls that think so . so why the hell are all these boys hunting me down.

and tossing the M word around?

listen ( i know u dont read this blog thats why im even purging on it)

anyhoos i do not want to marry you.

i cant speak any other language so this is me making it as clear as possible. no i do not want to marry you.

i know u are wondering what this is about so lemmie make this clear.

last nite in my state of boredorm, i logged on to facebook. ehn ooo i know i was bored. so that is how i met Zer online.

now i have been avoiding his calls and not replying his messages and what not and all that. so he saw me online and "hola'ed"

in order no 2 be rude i replied. actually because i didnt know if the chat was like bbm thts shows d and r so thats y i honestly reponded.

anyhoos the convo went sthg like this.

Z: hey boo
P: wats up?
Z: baby, where u been at? been calling you and it keeps saying ur phone is off and i messaged u on fbook.
P: err yes my phone is bad, and i dont wanna fix it because i wanna get the iphone.
(if u wanna throw a boy away fastttt, tell him u want to buy sthg)
Z:oh ok, what about the message.
P: my BB service went off so i avent been able 2 access it.
z:oh shit!
P:oh shit what??
Z: ur phone. thats off.
P: oh ok..
Z: when am i gonna see you? i cant wait to hold you. come spend the night on friday night
p:huh?? where?
Z: in my house?
( i dont think he realised i was being sarcastic when i asked where)
P: oh im gonna be working saturday.
Z: oh thats not a problem, you can leave from here. i really miss you.

(now, i never bother telling any of my toasters that i have a man, that just seems to fuel thier persistence, i'd rather just be too busy to hang) but this but getting outta i pulled that card.

P: oh you know, i dont think my man would like that at alls.
Z:oh i got you something.
* he totally ignored that statement*
P: what ?
Z: a purse.
P: what kind of purse?
Z: ok lemmie confess i wanna propose to you.
( like dude...seriously?? get the fuck off here)
P:so u didnt buy me a purse?
z: i brought you something even more special.
Z: the ring my dad gave my mom.
( at this point i had had enough of thise madness)
P: ok so ive got work 2moro i need to sleep. good night.
and i viciouslu slammed my laptop shut.

like what the fucking hell is up with that?. the other day i ran into someone who knew Zer's cousin, she recognized me because apparently he has been telling her all about me. turns out he told her we are engaged.

and this people, is how you find your self off the market without even knowing it.

it is 2010 indeed and boys are not smiling.

but seriously who the fuck does shit like that? goes around telling people that we are engaged?? like seriously? delusional Much????

sad. really sad.

not withstanding i have other problems. well not problems per say, more like set backs.

well now im sure i wont get an 8 week holiday this year.
* waving* bye vacation.

im also sure i would be spending my birthday athome studying
*waving* bye table dancing with the girls.

i also wont be visiting fregene as a surprise in paris this year.
*waving* damn and that would have been uber super duper cute.

i mean i could go on and on being sad, but im thankful, in a way, i havent figured out the way im thankful yet, but i guess i am thankful.

damn i envy all the batch B corpers. although i heard from next month, our allownace would be increased from N9,750 and that is per month to N20,000. hopefully.

ive taken out my dreads, and i think i wanna get a weave. speaking of weaves.

you know what. im not even gonna rant about this, surely i have put that incident behind me. (someone tried to get me 2 buy hair and said only the most stupid things that pissed me the fuck off)

on second thought, maybe i should. you know what i will.

why doesnt anyone believe when i tell them, i cannot afford stuff. why do they hear " i dont wanna buy?"

asides the fact that i am very money concious, i hate to ask people for money, like my mum or the Man or an uncle or aunt, if i could i wont be living at home. damn i have a job. so i have priorities and sadly these priorites do not include human hair that costs N70,000.

yes people actually buy hair at that price, now im not saying its wrong, i mean if u are all for starving to have someone elses hair on your head why not. but im not. since i respect your life style choices, why wont you respect mine??

ehn.. imagine this girl asking mt to ask my mother for money to buy hair?????

i dont know about you but its fucking absurd.
you know contary to what u may have heard about me or my mother, it isnt true, there is no tree in my compound that we pluck N1000 notes from daily.

there really isnt. now im not going to come here and say i dont like the hair, i mean its cute dont get me wrong, but i cannot afford it.

do you want me to list the opportunity cost of N70000 in a month for you??

so said sales girl said i shu=ould ask my SO. now thats just wrong so i said i cant ask him.

and she said and i quote" why didnt you use your persuasion,?"

i really dont understand human beings. i should persuade somebody else to give me N70000 to buy hair that really isnt that important to me???

did i miss something growing up??

so why are people acting like im mad because i ahve refused to shell outN70,000 of my savings to buy hair.

im sorry but its not just me. i felt so insulted. and i ahvent spoken to said friend since. im probably not going to say anything, but if she should upset me again, im defeinatley going to call her out, because yours truly is not looking for friends that are liablites.

so ok i ranted. big deal, sue me.

a very pissed off.

ps: if u have a problem with me, odds are you have my number, call me, dont run off and report me to a mutual friend, that is all kinds of low. and its shit like that, that makes me not want to talk to you anymore. hisssssssssssssssssssssss

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

why men cheat.

See before I had up a post about why women cheat and asked eneni 2 blog about it. She did.

So yday I decided 2 find out why men cheat... And who better to ask than a cheat himself Womilee. At first he was being difficult... But after using my persuasion... I got him to spill. Ladies listen up.

So men like average women No?

Or do men like high maintaince?

When would men get married?

Why do men date women 4 nine yrs then marry the one of 3months?

Why do men steal from women?

Why do men cheat?

Why do men sleep with their SO's sisters, mothers and bestfriends.

Why do men lie 2 get coochie.

Why do men sleep with women then run off?

Why do men...

Let's face it, I could go on 4ver and ever asking why do men questions. But since I'm an actor Not a reactor AND am a solution provider. What better way to find out about this than 2 find a man who I know for a fact has committed 80% of said acts in the questions above. Ladies and gentle. Scratch that, men are not gentle. Sha ladies and men that read this blog, I present to you, Womilee.

Not exactly a flattering introduction, is it gentlefolk? In my defence, I have not committed 80% of the afformentioned sins... I'm at a healthy, gentlemanly 75%. And so are you all.
The saying is 'Men lie, Women lie, Numbers don't'. So you there, you shaking your head at my admission of sin, you tut-tutting at my acceptance of infidelity, unless you were somehow brought to this earth as a figure or a numerical digit and through some miraculous cosmetic surgery, have been converted into a female, but still remain a number at heart, you dear lady have lied and cheated too.
The reason men cheat is the same reason women cheat...cos we can. Yes, men usually go out with a mind-set of being unfaithful, while women claim there was no premeditation involved in their infidelities, does this make it any less wrong. A man is caught cheating he goes "baby, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, blah". A woman's caught cheating she goes "it was an accident. It wasn't my fault!". There's a song by Eminem and Dr Dre, Guilty Conscience. A line in it goes "what you slipped, fell and landed on his dick?!!!"
I've cheated, you've cheated. Simple. Sometimes we know why, most times its cos we're just horny. Dammit, no matter how much you love pizza, you still eat the occasional burger don't you?! Its not a good excuse, but fuck it, its the only one I have.
I've cheated on my girlfirends and with other people's girlfirends. To be honest, I'm proud in some cases, not so proud in others. But I always come clean when I'm caught. I don't claim spiritual possession or temporary insanity or amnesia. I simply say "baby, I'm sorry". At that point, it is up to you to decide whether to knock my front teeth out or not. Cos you better believe, bitch, ill knock yours out if you so much as like another man's haircut.
I am Womilee, numbers don't lie.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


if i have to descibe my mother in any word, i'd use diva.

my mother is a true diva in the sense of the word, she has so much style and class and doesnt live above her means.

i havent always been the easiest child to deal with, plus i have 2 other siblings, but she has been there through everything.

she was so a diva she didnt beat us when we did something wrong. she delegated that duty to the security men of the estate we lived in. at odd hours of the mornini know how odd it sounds, but she couldnt bring her self to beat her kids, but thye had 2 be beaten. see pure Diva .

she has no friends in the workplace, she doesnt need them, she says mixing business with friendship, creates to much grey for her liking. like a true diva she wants every thing her way, black or white.

she is honest, hardworking and the proper example of Miss independent.

she has her own and she isnt afraid to share it. she knows its never gonna finish, because there is more where it came from. there would always be more.

she is God fearing, and walks uppright in his ways.

she isnt easy to love.. but lets face it. is any diva easy too? she cahrms you with her person. looking back, i dont think anyone in this life could loveme more.

and i dont think there is anyone on earth, that i love, respect and cherish more than her.
i dont know about you but i have the best mother in the world, and i thank God everyday for her in my life.

she vexes me, sometimes, but mostimes she makes me so happy its incredible.

all my people skills i have received from her.

she has taught me to look after myself.

mother dearest. happy birthday. i wish you all the best that life has to offer.

im also sorry on ife and my behalf that we have no grand child to offeer you on this landmark. also that we have no son-in-law for your picture.

but if its any consolation, december is still far. something may just come up.

thank you and God bless you in excess.
i cant thank you enough. i cant love you enough. and i know i wont be able to repay you, thats why i wouldnt bother, but i want you to know that i love you with every fibre of my being. i cant have asked for a better mother. i love you. very plenty.

how do i kill my boss??

And no not my darling AIC who just got back from leave,or my manager who gave me work like it was going outta fashion. BUT.

my employers, the firm as an entity. i hate it. well hate is such a strong word, i detest it. because i am dormant. honest. i can feel myself wasting away. i feel like that aregentine goal keeper during that game with Nigeria. Bored.

and i am restless so being bored kills me. slowly BUT surely.

anyways yesterday i witnessed woman hate on hate on viciously. and i think i know why.
so my co-worker and i were leaving at 4:58pm when closing time is by 5:00. i know you are thinking why not wait till 5pm. i mean you are almost there. well i was bored outta my mind.

then a co-worker accosted me. male. the convo went sthg like this.

CoW: so where are you going?
P: Home.
CoW: but its just 4:57. *shows me his phone*
P: by my time its 4:59.* show him my watch AND phone*
he says ok. shrugs and lets me off the hook.

please realise that CoW= co-worker. altho cow has a nice ring to it.

two steps later.
female voice: where DO you think you are going?
turns around and sees an actual cow.
cow: is it 5 yet?, is that what ur time is saying? what time did you come to work today? did you come by 8am?
P: yes it is 5pm by my watch. what does your own time say?
cow: you ARE very stupid.
P: blank stare.
cow: blah blah blah can go.
i walked out.

the real cow is a woman. notice how different the man handled the situation?? although it could be coupled with the fact that 2hours earlier the man leaNED into me to tell me im very sexy.

i have no idea what upset the cow, maybe she was on her period, maybe she was PMS-ing. i dunno, i dont care, what i know is that, she shouldnt have stated that i was stupid. maybe she should have asked. that way i would have replied her no im not stupid, then she would have reason to be mad.

this is the culture of my workplace.

putting this out of my mind, i get to my car and i see a livid. WTH???? so i dont even qualify for parking security, despite the fact that i dropped my car keys down stairs?????

i made a mental note to scream at the security man. ( women like me, have the special gift of storing anger over night.. it may not be healthy but its effective in managing problems like this)

so i hit the gym and blah blah blah.

today i came to work early by 8:10, and i wasnt mad, its my mothers birthday and somehow i didnt store the was a really happy moment at home, it would take a really Mad Angry Black woman to keep anger thru a birthday. anyways so i casually ask the security man,
P: ehn oga abeg o, una no dey look my car?
SM: ahn aunty when u parking outside, there isnt security to look your car.
** notice how i spoke pidgin to him, and he replied in bastard english**
P: wait oo. so nobody dey look my car because i park for outside?
SM: aunty na so the office talk.
** when i get mad, i enter full english, with phonee sef**
P: so mean to tell me that because i am not parked inside the building, no one will watch my car??
*walks off* more like stormed off, but the strain in my right knee from the gym last night, made it i limped off

so i asked another security man and lo and behold he wasnt joking. my office that doesnt present the option of a staff buss for its staff wont look after the cars that are parked outside the building. even though the parking lot that the office provides can barely cater to a third of the number of staff that actually have cars and drive them to work.

now you maybe thinking, i expect too much from my employers and rightfully so. i have worked at about 5 different places ( all different industries)and this is the 1st im seeing with this little regard for thier employees. its disgusting.

but because the economy is bad, and what not we are forced to deal with these smelly working conditions.

now i could have mouthed off at the cow, BUT, i'll tell you what stopped me.
NOT the fact that i cant be fired: because i am a corper.
NOT the fact that she was older than me: because face it, dat has nothing to do with the issue at hand, if you are old and you fuck up it can be treated.
NOT because it really wasnt her business and the other man had already let us go

but because i felt sorry for her.
her life is probably shit, she probably isnt married and is waiting on the world and is miserable and is stuck at a rot in her life.blah blah blah.. and just needed 2 hate a little.

she could be married to a womanizer whose new latest mistress looked just like me. long legs and all. tres sexy.

she could just have been throwing her weight around,trying to clip the wings of two corpers, who were tried of doing nothing. ie, being a bitch.

but i just looked at her. slapping her in my mind over and over and over till i heard you can go .

ladies and men. ( no man is gentle) the mind is such a poweful thing use it.

and seeing as i didnt react, i felt stronger, more powerful than her.

it seems that there could be some truth in the statement afterall" silence is the best answer for a fool"

i still maintain that she shouldnt have insulted me. but since she did, that is her cross to bear, not mine.

but really my working conditions are terrible and i AM grateful to have a job, dont get me wrong. i am just not gratful about how i am being treated. and no im not going to complain. beacuse around here, things are not done that way.

**double sigh**
and to think i was happy coming to work here.

A very Upset

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Double Standards

if you lie with dogs and get fleas all over your body and i dont feel bad for you.
i would never feel bad for you.

if the roles were reversed,i'd want you to be so sorry for me. yes i live a life of double standards.

for certain friends, family, boys, girls and what not.

for instance if i have so many ex-female friends that have messed up and i havent looked back once. like i cant be bothered. thing is if my male friend did the exact same thing, i probably wont notice. and if i did, it wont be such a big deal.

maybe this has everything to do with the fact that i like boys. and boys like me.

i have no idea why people complain about double standards, the sooner women accept that its a man's world, the better for them.

and no i havent gone to see Zer yet, although now i feel like i live in mtn customers care office, as in all the calls he gives me. gosh.

i eventually gave in and said i would see him yesterday but Debo showed up mine. *pleasant surprise* so we saw the game together. and Zer took the back burner.

apparently some1 has snitched me to the lover that i plan on seeing Zer, and i know i was snitched because he doesnt read my blog. like wth???

anyways that one is your bizness jare. moving on i need a tailor, my new tailor is a melz up and the old one is MIA. i am desperate. ive found one at satelite town and one at badagry express way.

jdge me all u want i love perfectly done clothes. that is all there is.
i finally took out my dreads and my hair got burnt, as expected.

ive been blabbing, im under so much pressure right now. *fingers crossed* hopefully all of this would come through fine.

pray for me.
and accept that men rule the world.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Be careful what you wish for...

Because you just might get it. that being said. Zer is back.

*gasp* i know. anyways he called me to meet up and have drinks at his place.

what i heard was: come to my house its empty, lets get drunk and see what happens.

so what i said was: im really really really busy.

what i hope he heard was: get the fuck away from me, or behind me oh rich hot, money dispensing boy before you make me regret my actions.

so he said: ok but im gonna keep calling you till you are free.

what i heard was: bitch i am not backing down.
so i sighed.

what i hope heard was: damn when would men get that i dont want to be chased and persistence can actually turn to stalking.

i know God said ask and it shall be given( Matt7:7). but i am NOT God. so ihave nothing to gibe Zer. God please let him stop asking. Thank you.

anyhoos how was the weekend? good? bad? same old?. my tailor messed up my dress for my mothers 50th. so i am dressless. im not mad tho. just fucking pissed off.

anyways,i got a VUVUZELA. yes i have caught the world cup fever. and im excited during the games. i find my self screaming things like..
"take it"

"ghen ghen"

"oohh slow rat, pass jare".

what worries me is that i scream all of this to my tv, which doesnt say anything back:(

oh well.
and i promise i am fine. i also realised that i have begun to enjoy my own company a lot more than usual. i love this. really really. and no im not an introvet, i have just found myself in love with print. and WOW. i have gotten my reading mojo back.

in other news i dont think our boys played well on saturday, i believe we could have done better, there were too many shots on target, like damn that argetine goalie may have as well just gotten his nails painted red before the game.. and use the 90mins to watch it dry.

shout out to eyeama. nice one out there, for keeping the score-line respectable.
but it was a good game to watch.

i alos have like 4or 5 birthdays this week. *excited* coupled with the fact that,my mum is hitting the big 50 on thursday. yayyyy! i wish my elder sister wpuld just get her act together and get married. dammit. mummy said she wanted son-in-laws in her 50th birthday

if she was serious she wont have sent us to that covenant university.
ok im done here. book time.
have a good week people.


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The mistake i made.

that serves as a reminder. when dealing with boys.

four years ago, i was in a relationship. that was a waste of time.

to day i want to revisit that relationshipo and what it means and meant to me.

first i settled.
yes he did not derserve me, i mean you know when someone deserves you. this boy did not deserve me. and i knew this without him sliping up.

his mother hated me. ladies, if his mother dosent like you, and you are not intrested in kissing ass to an igbo woman, dont bother. blood pressure at a young age is not cute. and trust me, mothers od boyfriends= blood pressure. all the time. except off course you are as evil as some people i know.

i let the gifts carry me away. and i know many of you will berate me. but whatever, he was dating me and buying me gifts. and i was taking.
my mother said its rude to reject stuff. and it is very bad to be rude.

i walked outta there an even worse person than i was when i met him. i cannot say i am a better person as a result of having him in my life. infact i can relate him to the effect my Uni had on me. kinda like a waste of my freaking time.

anyways thats all asides the point.

last holiday i had, i was supposed to be gone for eight weeks. 4 in america, 2 in london, 1 in paris and 1 in either milan or spain. boyfriend dearest said it was too much time to be away from him and cried and cried and cried about he was gonna be a lone and what not. so like a good girlfriend i gave up the paris and milain journey. i love fashion, but mother said those were the only two i could forfeit. so my fab 8 weeekshoilday turned into 6.

i am not complaining. he came to meet me at the airport and what not. so at the airport, there was this boy that had been giving me the eye. turns out my brother knew him. as did i. when my brother was in his former secondary school. ( in Nigeria its kinda ok to switch kids from school to school). he was the owner of the phone i used to call my brother on.

this boy was mentally undressing me with his eyes and soon we got talking.really talking. and off course like the good girlfriend, i was quick to inform Zer.( lets call him that) that i was in a long term relationship and what not. anyways.Zer wasnt to bothered.

since he liked me, we hung out a lot. he kept telling me" you knoe your man is cheating on you right?" and im like nahh he is straight.

and he said" leave him for me". me : *side eye*. leave me jo. and thats how we went on and on.

he met my mum, took me shopping. i met his mum, she loved me. like totally LOVED me. ( and knowing how hard it is to get a yoruba woman to like you, this was manna from heaven) anyways i kept saying nooo. even though my body wa saying yes!!

so i went to london 2 continue my holiday, and Zer never stopped calling me. infact he became very sure he wanted me.
so sure he wanted 2 see me before he came home for christmas.

so he intvited me to see him.

by now i was alone, bored and broke in london. everything was routine.
but i had a boyfriend. see i was goin to be faithful. so i told Zer that america was to far. and told him off, thinking he'll be mad.

next day this convo took place.

Z: hey babe.
P: hey im sorry 4 screaming at u yday, i was just about...
Z: Paris. come to Paris, America is too far come to paris.
** thinking**: ewo one chance!!! all these yankee boys sef. shebi they cant vex ni, ahn ahn after i sparked for him yday he still wants to see me.
P: errr
Z: i know we both have schengen visas.
P: err but i said i wasnt going.
( i told him i was supposed 2 go 2 paris but changed my mind last min, i didnt want 2 be away to long from my babycakes, in my defence it was a 13hr flight and we were seated next to eachother)
Z: i know you wanna go, i know you have a bboyfriend that you want to marry, but i just want to see you.
P: sweets its a lot more complicated that than.
Z: i know you like me, just come, paris is about 40 mins away. its not to far.i'll have you back in two days.
P: im sorry i cant. not that i dont want to, i just cant.

***thinking*** shit see this hot hot nice young man, who wants to spoil me in the city of love and im here saying no. na wa, i have a boyfriend.

and i know your thinking nothing goes for nothing abi?? well i had worked all that out. "the red robot"

so ZER and i kept in touch. he came home last christmas, hell bent on marrying me, but that is another story.

so after buying babycakes heaven and earth and remaining faithful and passing up on Zer, i get back to hear the wonderful news: he got someone else pg in my absence.

lol, ok i kid, he was screwing some other "people". when i found out, i calmly asked him. he didnt deny it.
and since i ahd already given him his stuff and my birthday was around the corner, i said...whatever i'll stay. so i stayed. and those were the best 2 months onf my almost 2 yr relationship.

i was just bidding time till my birthday, and since he was trying to get back in my good books, i just let him keep trying.

on my birthday i was at the hospital and he didnt call or show up. 2 weeks later i got my gift. what i wanted. so i wasnt bothered.

3days after my friend Bobo took me to see, our friend.. who is now my lover.
he used to be a former flame, but we fell out and blah blah blah.
he had been trying to see me, and i kept giving him that " i have a boyfriend line"

well i didnt have a boyfriend anymore so i said whatever i'll come see you with my friend. what i didnt tell him was that my friend was a boy. but that is another story.

i wasnt going to snooze on this one. besides he had been chasing me forever. plus do you know how hard it is not to find me? like we both lived on the island, had the same circle of friends and i avoided him like a plauge. but then i had a boyfriend...

well christmas came and babycakes said we werent dating anymore. i said ok. but we remained friends.

Freinds: the ex that became my personal driver, and choclate cake buyer, and what not. he also got me something really cute for christmas. i cant remeber, oh a watch, the next day i let it at new lovers house. till this day it hasnt been found. lol.

so after a while my "friend" became upset that I who he broke up with was seeing someone else( i wasnt seeing anyone) so he started acting funny. didnt stop him from dropping me off at new lovers guest house all the time tho. yes i am funny like that.

after a while he stopped talking to me. *rolls eyes* good riddance to bad nonsense.

anyways babycakes, still wants to be "friends" the other day he emailed me. honestly i drive now, so his friendship services are no longer needed.

so i guess the lessons i learnt are numerous.
1. dont settle.
2. be choosy about your men
3. keep the gift buying to the minimum
and most importantly

when u find someone that wants to take you to Paris.. for Gods sake... dont be stupid like me. pack your bags and goooooo!!!

and i have found the perfect im gonna make mistakes and just be there for me song.
beulah - sweet kinda something.

the chrous goes like this:

because a sweet kinda something got a hold of me
and even if i fight it, it wont let me go
cant you see??
everyody gotta fall in love
and live every moment like its never enough
one day i may say what was i thinking off

everybody has got to take this road.

do try to listen to the song. and be easy on your friends..:)

a very repentant.

sowi its a long post. :)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010



This isnt about you, or you.. and i know you think its about you and the next thing you are gonna hit me up on BBM and start aring your views. drop a comment if its that serious. HOWEVER, this post is about YOU and YOU and I both KNOW its you because you read this ish religiously like your bible, even though you lie about it.
any ways its about YOU.

i am picky. all sorts of picky. everyone knows this. im so picky its ridiculous.

i mean, i could drop a friend for cancelling on me.. even if it is to spend time with her beau who has been outta town for 4 years and just got back and blah blah blah. even though i'd do it without thinking twice.( i already said i was ridiculous at it )

but i am even more picky about new friends. i am not an advocate of woman on woman hate, but with some women, it just just advisable not not get sucked in. flee, friendship is optional.seriously.

yes you must have guessed this is a post about WOMEN!!!
Yesterday i went to see my friend's cousin. who said she had gist for me.

When a girl has gist for you. its one of two things... a man got her something and she wants you to be happy for her *rolls eyes* OR someone was trying to steal her man, and she caught the girl.

anyways so i asked her 4 the gist.. and true to my word, someone was trying to steal her cousins man. *rolls eyes*

i do not feel bad for girls that sleep with married men and then thier friends now try to snipe the men from them. nahhhh, you lot deserve it.

but by the time this babe finished giving me the gist i was like O_O. and i had nothing to say. if you know me personally...I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

anyways the friend stole her"boyfriends" number from the phone and started calling the said "boyfriend". the man owner got suspicious and strated snooping. found her friends number and turned into a scientist. asking questions. said boyfriend... obviously shifted the blame to the other girl. said she stole the number and started calling the him and what not. notice how he didnt tell the friend not to call him again, because he had a girlfriend, instead he invited her to oriental hotel. *gasp*

said friend confronted that girl, who said yes she did it, but it was the devil.

best part is.. they are still friends.

i told you i do not suport woman on woman hate.

i cant even begin to wrap my mind around how these people know each other. but as they say" to each his own"

so to YOU my female friend, who has had gist for me and it wasnt concerning a man. thank you.

to YOU who i called and cried after my secomd paper because i was scared and had no 1 elseto call. thank you.

to YOU who trusted my judgement and allowed me to take you shopping. thank you

to YOU who i sent my picture to on BBM and you said " Bitch get ur ass to the gym< looking like me". thank you.

to YOU who does Aristo and you have never asked me to follow you to see "him". thank you, because that would have destroyed our relationship.

to YOU who sat behind me all the way from JS2 till SS3 and we had shared too much. thank you.

to YOU who i know wants what i have so bad, but can still smile and be happy for me. thank you. you are a friend.

but to you who keeps harping about some random boy and stressing me. no thanks to you, my patience is wearing thin.

yes you know who you are.

and OMG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY "CHUNKY" FRIENDS. i was at the gym yesterday. my body hurts allover and you inspire me to keep going back. hahahah.


Monday, June 7, 2010

my visit to Babcock.

with all due respect, that school is in shambles.and is a hot mess.

i think i havent seen a greater gathering on "not so attractive girls".

i also got all the boys i met there to agree with me. the girls that attend that university did not try... at all.

and i have a couple of friends there, those are the only fine serious..

and then the students there are delusional.. they actually think thier university is better than Covenant.

i have no idea where they got that from. oh well they are allowed to dream.

and the school isnt pretty to look at.

thats all i took away from there.

congrats to all my babies that graduated:
Ogo. Ope. Wandi. Aisha. Inem. Favour.
welcome to the real world. hope you can cope!!

and OMG i hope the women in brazil will still have hair by xmas.. ahn ahn. 20 outta 10 girls there had the said " brazilain hair" in two plaits down thier sides. i blame pocahontas for this nonsense fad. abeg the next thing they will be saying they have blue eyes.

any ways bottom line. comparing babcock to Covenant is like comparing Lasu to unilag. and we all know you rather attend unilag that babcock...

all in all. it was fun, girls, free foood, free drinks. if you are an awoof lover.

anyways after seein a couple of my friends parents. who remebered me skinny, i knew for a fact that i had to hit the gym.

and so as i blog this... my gym stuff are in my car. off course im wearing tights and a vest. hopefully i wont giggle everywhere.

contemplating doing a mon, wed and saturday movement.

all i want is a flat tummy. and skinnier arms.. the size 12 behind is nice. that i like. i want everything else size 8.

and i found me a new tailor!!!! you must know my love for ankara by now... so yes hopefully she doesnt screw up and she is costing me quite a lot but *shrugs* nothing makes me happier than a properly sewn dress. :P

ok one more thing.. my cousin just started blogging. and he is soo good at it, it hurts, but since its all love between us here is the link:

thank me later.
songs im really feeling atm: as we enter and under tow. nas &DM and timberland, esthero and the fray.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

relationship expert 2.

how to keep a man stolen or not.

actually own a man.... yes your own not someone elses own.. how you chose to go about it is your business, but it isnt a rumour it is true, all men are the same, and one womans trash is another womans trash collector. yes men are like that. ( dont try to see reason to that)

now off course its only fair to lay ground rules for those who actually want to keep thier man so yes this is it.

a) keep it fresh, sexy and hot.
yes hit the gym if you must, as unrealistic as it sounds, he wants 2 remeber what or rather who he got attracted too. the pretty girl with the smile and blah blah blah.
so this means he will slowly discover the real you and what you look like, but he would love to keep this discovery to himself. yes men loooovee to brag about thier women, how the hell do you think they rationalize taking you to the salon, or actually letting you get that weave they hate so much. yes so that when his homesboys see you and whistle, they would be like OMG you are soo lucky you babe is HAWT! he wont say that ugly girl that wears hairnet and snores, and blah blah blah you get the point. ladies you have to keep it sexy and sexy and even more sexy, men are visual animals.

b) confidence.

he is yours and he isnt going anywhere( well not until that slimy man stealer comes along and digs her claws into your man) confidence is uber sexy. ikid you not. not all that blond dumb shit you see paris trying to make look cute( i know we all saw thatE!'s 5 steps to be paris) no the kind that knows her stuff, i mean you are doing your thing and he is complementing and not completeing you. yes you will change to make adjustments but you wont lose you to him. because you are confident in who you are. you may not be the prettiest girl but confidence will get you along way. you know how they say an ugly girl starts looking good after a couple of drinks in the club, confidence does that to you.
beware: there is a thin line between confidence and corky.

and if you are corkey= mrs independent and bam! you will be the one everyone wonders how you managed to get a man in the 1st place. trust me thsi will make your man a very easy target.

c) know your man.

he hates trousers, for fucks sakes shave your legs and wear the damn skirts!! all that talk of how it isnt you will get another person (20%) to pop up and skirt you man away from you. yes relationships have been lost over even less fickle things.

he likes tennis, girl u better tink nadal is the hottest thing to hit planet earth, BEFORE sliced bread.

basically know what he likes and as much as possible try to get to it.
offcourse since men are dogs you know his gonna try and pull some fast ones, like asking for a 3some. tell him the get the fuck away from you and cry a river.

if he is the type of man that tears move. as i said know your man, or some1 else will.

d) support your man.

yes you want all the jewels from persia and what not. you gatta support him. what ever his hustle is. if he sells "beans cakes" suggest he puts egg instead of cray fish. you get my point. yes there are women that have managed to lose thier men over nagging.

please cut out the nagging.

e)know your self and be yourself.

i know how much we all want to be beautiful in the eyes of the ones we love, but when you know and love yourself, then you can love another properly without resentment.

f) love, thank and appreciate your man.
growing up, my mother told me never to marry for love. she and all her friends said, marry a man that can look after you, and you'll grow to love him. i dont know if this is true, beacuse i havent been married but i think there is some truth in that, if you have some one that looks after you and your kids you will appreciate them, and appreciation would leave to affection which would lead to love.

g) law of attractio.

if you think he is gonna say, he is gonna stay.

thats alll i can think up right now.

if all of this do not work email me "" to hook you up with my babalawo, yes ke. i have a baba. and he is very good. infact, he uses the ipad to consult ifa,and yes it is my money, actually it is my man's money but whatever.

also there are some men that will never be yours because they belong to other people that have used babalawo to hold him. these are the kind of men that afmag yoruba movies are made off, flee, lest all the male children in your womb be stolen by that other womans babalawo.

im sorry i have no real deep advise on how to keep your man, but if you have got a good man, its advisable to love, cherish, respect and support him. even more important that sex, men love respect( RIP pastor Bimbo). i also advise you to get pastor bimbo dvd's on single and married. lol.

and all that cosmo talk about "communication" with your man, odds are they wont work with nigerian men, you'll come off as needy and depressed.

i hope you email and askfor my baba beacause i cant swear by any other way. lol. but seriously though, relationships are hard work, and if you dont lay down a plan odds are you will be alone for a very very very loooooooooong time. especially if you arent miss Nigeria, and even those ones sef,dem no to dey marry like that.

Godbless. you and your man.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

relationship expert

i woke up by 5am this morning. yes its kinda like the pattern i used 2 live wen i was reading so the body is still adjusting, at times im awake by 5am. most times 5:11 am.
so i had these thots running through my mind. (actually it takes me about 30mins to convince my body that im done reading and i can sleep in peace and all that) so in that 30 mins, this is what i was thinking. or at least the bits i can remember.

i have single friends, and they have no plans to meet anyone. what is wrong with you people, you think the men would come and meet you

actually the do.

do you people realise that the ratio of men to women is about 1:200. ok i kid. about 1:20. that is if u want a decent man. if we include the useless men ita aout 1:5.

anyways so they still dont have a plan. and believe me, he or rather she whho fails to plan plans to fail. moving on.

so i say what do u mean u dont have a plan, she says all the good men are taken.

and im lkike AND SO????!!!

err im not ready to be anybody 2nd girlfriend, and im like bitch you dont even have a toaster. besides everybody does have a girl friend.

reallife example. the only friend i have that wears a ring is boobsy*. so missB told me and i quote" oh mr D had a girl friend when i met him, but i didnt concern myself with that, i focused on becoming wifey and in say 2 months, he left her for me" high five. you notice how she didnt say i joined his other girlfriend and became " iyawo kekere?"

thats what all these girls do not understand. i believe men are as simple as it gets. there are the womanizers, the talkers and then the doers.
there are also hybrid versions, the womanizer-doers, the womanizer-talkers. but the fact remains that no matter what kinda man he is, if he wants you he will leave her ass for you.

off course if he is a womanizer he will lie thathehas left her and string you along, these kind of men there is no hope for thier kind. flee. they are also the most attractive. dont ask.

anywyas the problem with single girls these days is all this Miss independent talk. yes trust Nigerian girls to take it up a notch.."mrs independent" they act as if no man can toast them and most times, no man will. nigerian men have enough already as it is, they do not need you ass going all dramatic on them. except helikes drama, then stick to dat. it will keep him on his toes.

so back to Nigerian man stealers, the problem that most of them have is this...

they have nothing to offer. lets face it, he has a girlfriend, that gives him everything he wants, u are going to have to up the ante. yes you heard me. when he has met you watch out for the tiny 20% his girlfriend isnt giving him. trust me when a man is getting 80%, that 20% he will never get looks so good. that should be you. if his girlfroend, cant cook. u learn how to cook. if she hates eating out, you'll love it. silly little stuff like that. men are very fickle especially the nigerian man. yes yall are hard working and all that but you know you people are fickle.

(shout out to all nigerian men that are looking after thier families abi?) now to all of you that got up to receive that shout out slap your selves. it is your damn duty to look after your family. gosshhhh.

anyways the key is to bring more to the table, than the present girlfriend.
i should mention that married men are off the list for this single reason: if and not when, if he does marry you, *rolls eyes* that side chic space is gonna open up. and you know how easy its gonna be for him to fill up. yes that means ur 15mis are already up. funny abi?

single girls stay away from married men!!!!! they just bring drama, and wives with buckets of acid into your life. you think im kidding ask around.

ok im done playing relationship expert.
DISCLAIMER: i am not disclaming shit, this works, i promise and if it doesent move on to another man. life too damn short to play second fiddle to another woman. if he isnt leaving her,( u know when he isnt leaving her, all those times you have 2 ask " baby what are we doing?") yes so if he isnt move on to someone else who will.................and trust me there are a million goood men out there. you just need to plan and play the field. although there are some people like yours truky who get to live a cinderella story( wash plates for 21years, and have a prince come to my front door) yes that story except i have more than one prince. hey dont hate the playerette, hate the game.

ok im done now.

so the other day i was talking to my home girl and she said" death to possesive boyfriends" i was giggling and i said, they are posseive and wired that way. i mean face it if your man allowed you go for sleep overs at jide, tomide, and sules house everytime or allowed you it the club without hassling you or even asking you. you are gonna love it, then after a while you will begin to wonder what the hell he is up to with his time especially when jide, and sule and tomide get girlfriends and then u'll relaise he probably needed all the time away from you to pursue other goals( aka other women) yes let him be possesive, at least then you can say
"but u said icouldnt go last time"
as a line that will allow you go. lol.

back to the convo. then i heard in the back ground "DEATH TYO CHEATING GIRLFRIENDS"

in other totally unrelated news,if you went to covenant university and you havent heard that you bad clip. meeenn you are missing out bad!!! that being said, have a lovely weekend people.

God bless.


I keep getting little signs that maybe I am on the right track, Just maybe,