Thursday, October 23, 2014


By now you guys know how much I love weddings.

Imagine how its just today that I have actually taken the time to peruse the  almightly Amal (now) clooney.

I think she is so bad ass.

The end.

I really think women should wait till they are a bit older to get married.

Get all that hoe-ness out of your system

Or whatever it is one needs to do.

Amal is sofa-king gorge.

Look at her legs.

Also her sunglass game is 100. 

I dunno but seems Mr Clooney is the utltimate winner here.

Where did she meet him; and more importantly, how did he convince her to marry him.

Because Look this woman is so bad-ass; I know he begged for her hand.

I mean look at her legs.

Anyways I wish them both happiness and badassness. all around.

I really like Amal; I mean I do not know her, but it is always nice to see when someone not in the industry in anyway- some how swoops in and slays all y'all models and co.

Anyways; one last time for the road

Look at her legs you guys.


Finally. she is such a fashion killer. 
I do not think she has a stylist but even if she does- 100 points for no bad days.

And her features are so fiercely lebanese.

I love that. 

Clearly I am obsessed with her.

Anyway enough about Amal; IT IS SCORPIO SEASON! * sting sting sting*

While I do not take this horoscope shit serious- I love how scorpio's are allegedly so bad ass.

Moodly. deeply emotional, passion filled and the best sex you would ever have.

Basically everything I am not.

Still I love the scorpio PR.

Anyways back to work. xoxo

ps: One more shot of Amal for the road...

Look at perfection. *sigh* a white pant suit is the answer to all my problems right now.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Birthday wish list

Because what is a birthday without presents?

I will tell you- A BORE.

So without much ado-

1. Viktor and Rolf bon bon.
My friend Eneni has this scent and my GOD, it is divine.
100ml. Edp - obviously.

2. YSL mascara in shocking.
 I currently have the baby doll, and I am ready to take it to the next level.

3. Foreo lunar face wash

This is touted as the revolutionary and apparently the best face washer in the world.

meh- My skin is oily and sensitive so when you get to the store, make your you mention it.

4. BMS Indonesian massage session

I have been so stressed of late that- I need a full day pampering session just to unwind.

I like the BMS spa in Ikoyi; I have been there once; and the women were so good, I never fall asleep during sessions because I am always so scared that they would molest me ( Too much porn) However, when the women woke me up, I was not so mad.

5. White skinny jeans ( Inseam 36 waist 28/30)

Look I have searched high and low, tall girls get NO DAMN LOVE WHEN IT COMES TO PANTS AND MAXI's. Yes I am shouting. I honestly believe that white skinny jeans take you to the next level- ask khole kardashian.

Note that this photo is for illustrative purposes only.

6. Clinique Dark spot corrector.

Because lets face it. I am an Olympic gold medalist when it comes to picking at the pimples on my face. and HELLUR scars.

This serum actually works really well. 

7. Bang and Olufsen bluetooth speakers.

I am currently lusting for the beo play A8 in purple ( obviously); 

However since this is above my pay grade; I would manage the beats pill

8. Running shoes

Because I have let my body go. and my reverse cow girl is now shit since I stopped working out.

( I'm not playing here)
these look decent enough to make me want to wear them then work out- Hopefully.

Side bar- I need one of you fitness enthusiast to come and make my body his/ her ( his preferably) pet project. my body has so much potential I just like rice too much and late night dinners always have me like YASSSSSSSS. 

9. Tom Ford Tuscan Leather 

Three weeks ago, I ran into my friend and he smelt so damn good, and I know he used to wear Gucci pour homme, turns out he was wearing this fragrance.

fast forward to this weekend; I met my new almost Abuja boyfriend ( inside joke) and he smelt the exact same way. 

Suffice to say- I want to smell the same way- And I never want to smell like men I can not have but I am making an exception.

10. A sizable contribution to my next holiday.

My next holiday is going with the theme lavish with a budget. I have no idea how that would work but yeah that is in my plan. I plan to do a Lagos - London- Morocco- Canary Islands- Monaco- Paris- London- Lagos holiday.

Obviously by now y'all know I do nothing by halves. 

Do not worry I would take pledges and I wont call out defaulters. This isn't church you know?

Ps- crossed out items have been gifted.
Pss- If you want to buy them again, that is fine too.
Psss- I did not put up locations because we need to put in a little thought/ work into gift giving you know?
Pssss- If you do not really know where to get them from call me/ email me.


I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand

I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favorite sound.

I love those lines.

Because ...

Monday, October 20, 2014

To whom it may concern

I'm real what you get is what you see.


pss: This is not a sub. Subs are so 200 and late. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014


That feeling when you do not know what the fuck you are feeling.

It is 3am and I woke up at 2:30 with p-square's collabo blaring outta my speakers

And I smiled; now I want to go to Monaco.

also I hate sleeping alone. or rather waking up alone.

So some weekends are pretty decent in Abuja.

This weekend was one of them; although freaking expensive, it was worth it plus my skin feels amazing.

Some nigga at the club brushed against my thighs and commented( the dress was short; we weren't love in this club a la usher)

Anyway my skin is amazing, and I had the most amazing time last night; I hung out with my friend B

and it was so nice. It was so Lagos girl meets her potential Abuja boyfriend.

Haha- No jokes.

I have never craved alcohol so badly.

Like right now; I'm thinking. Red moscato would be perfect.

I hate how much self awareness I have had to embrace since I quit alcohol.

I feel like all my repressed emotions and feelings know that I am alone and they come creeping so slowly and I have to put up with them.

I saw Gone girl on friday. I also read the book; it left me in some higi haga - esque state.

This post is everywhere.

but side bar- Collabo would be a decent song to get down to.

side bar to sex inducing play lists- I have the affinity to get songs that have a beat and a rhythm as a opposed to a bland slow song with people whispering obscenities( AZ's last night is exempt off course) that song is worth its length in gold bars

Ps: I hate how I think I am finally somewhere and something happens and I realize that not a damn thing has changed.

Pss: for the first time last night I decided against my better wishes to receive a compliment with thank you as opposed to my signature response " I know"

Compliment provider said : I know you know; I know you must get that a lot.
Me: sips water, I was just being polite
CP: but you aren't really polite.
Me: no not really

And in that moment I finally understand how people have one night stands.

I mean finally in my mind. Not physically.

I mean even me, is self aware to know that I do not have the capacity to engage in one night stands; must stem from being in a relationship for so long.

It just occured to me after listening to this song how- maybe collabo means sex.

PssS: My subconcious must have known that on some level.

All typos are mine. It s 3am and i'm in my hotel bed alone;surely  there would be typos.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Because I am happy

Recently actually since I returned from Greece I have been on some weird ass high I can not place.

But that is neither here nor there.

I have been happy.

You know that self hugging extra happy happy- That you worry about when it comes because you know it never lasts but it does.

And you are just happy and it doesn't go away.

And for the longest time I have been so scared to talk about this happiness because lets face it- I CAN  go on and on about something ( re-greece) But for real I was also afraid because - awon aye will come and send all these negative vibes my way.

And also I had kind of gotten comfortable being a grouchy. cynic.

_ side bar; my friend says I'm broken. I tell him all the better- wider cracks for love to go into.

Anyways I also found that when ever I tried to write about happiness; It was difficult to translate that into words ( meh)

So here are the reasons I have been unable to be happy on the internet
1- all that negative energy
2- Fear that it would go away
3-The comfort of being an unhappy writer.

Which have all really made me feel like a fake person.

Anyways I have been laughing a lot. Like really laughing.


It is odd because I am already loud and I have a cackle-esque type laugh think ursla meets cruella de-vile. ( Im for real)

Anyways I find that I have been laughing loudly, This random throaty laugh that ( sometimes) morphs into a coughing fit and has me in tears ( not wailing). The good type that messes with your bottom lash eye liner but somehow leaves your mascara untouched.

Last night I was on the phone with my friend B- who makes me laugh so much; and I was laughing so hard I almost fell of the bed.

I caught myself and started laughing at that.

_side bar: I love men who make me laugh my random throaty laugh.

I keep saying I would write about my Greek trip in detail with photos as a result of the need to immortalize that holiday and all it did for my physce (sp?)but my legendary laziness overwhelms that need.

So I can not put my happiness into words- But it literally radiates from my being.

It is so random. ( I am really not self aware so I had to have people point it out to me)

Also two of my friends ( well the groom is hardly my friend) but the bride is my roll dawg,- got married.

And I introduced them to each other.

Then again you people already know how much I adore weddings so let me just say I over adored this one. i LOVED THE WEDDING SO HARD I THOUGHT MY HEART WILL BURST.

And you guys know how hard I love ( see lover related posts circa 2012)

But I genuinely honestly Loved this wedding from the make up champagne session and Ms spears blaring out of my super blue tooth speakers to all the crying her daddy did when they asked her to go to her new family to all the shoki to my amazing make up ( shout out to my cousin who always lets me get my way when it comes to make up and my skin)

Also I just loved the energy. It was good.

My body hurt too badly for work the next day so I worked only one day last week.

I felt a little bad till my boss called me and ripped me a new ass hole.

But even that could not dampen my happy stance.

I came to abuja on Monday  and I woke up disoriented and confused on tuesday- which is strange because I really really really like my current hotel.

It is the cutest thing.

And it just gives off vibes of love nest ( HELLO MY ABUJA LOVERRRSSSS).

But just hello.

Sidebar- The Jollof rice at Jevnik is shit

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Little miss busy bee

I have been so damn busy.

And I was praying and fasting that I would be too busy to go to abuja for my new clients- LOL JK.

I leave tomorrow am.

And I am somehow looking forward to it, even though I have not yet packed anything. he he.

Although I have mentally packed my stuff.

I have finally completed this account that I started preparing in august and I am relieved.

Sent in a final final final draft today at 11:30pm on a sunday.

I am not a hard worker; I have no idea what I am.

Anyways. I cut my nails and for the first time in a very long time I have mixed feelings about abuja.

But that is story for another day.

I hate how busy my life gets when I am working then all of a sudden my birthday comes around and I have not had time to settle down and collate a decent birthday wish list. meh.

Anyways I will do my best to churn one out to think that I turn 26 in 2 ish weeks,

You know the funny thing is that is someone asked me where I saw myself at 26 and I look  at my life now; It would most likely be here.

I think now is a decent time to draw up a thirty before 30 wish list. haha. Because with all this work I am doing; I am going to wake up one day and find myself at 30 with half of my desires ( when I eventaully figure out what they are/ might be) unchecked from my wish list.

However I was not too busy to go and see that Oct 1 movie ( I wonder why everyone keeps calling it Oct 1st?)

And I was kind of disappointed. Maybe it was the picture quality at silver bird cinema's in VI which is so damn run down now - I only go there with men I want no one to see me with ( lol jk)- but for real uncle benny Bruce WHAT IS UP???

sha I felt like it was just thereeeee. Like nothing super fancy and it was slow to pick up either ways A for effort; I applaud Nigerians who feel the need and go ahead to satisfy that need to tell our own version of events/ stories.

Makes me wonder when I am ready to be a social commentator would I still grossly compare life here with life in scotland.

I do not know if I have spoken about this but I think I want to go on another holiday.

Stop judging me.

It is my bday and I think a little R and R are in order.

I was thinking Morocco and canary Islands. But what is the point of going away if I do not pop into london to see what is going on there?

Anyway. That is that.

I might just rouse up a few people and go to cotonu for the weekend.

remember two years ago when I went and it was ace?

Also I went there for a friend's birthday so It might be a good idea although I kinda have no idea who to tell/ go with/ urgh.

My friend got married on thursday. Blog post for another damn day. but I must say that I was personally very vested in that relationship I mean; I hooked them up. well more like introduced them but still; I lay claims and thus would start an online dating service for people I know.

I wish  you all a fruitful week. I am just here like urgh- thinking of my pending abuja deadlines.

Love and light and perfect nude nails!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

The holiday

OMG I had such a wonderful day out.

Let me keep this brief.

-  I got a new book

- Jade turned 25

- And she had a bbq

- Did some sale shopping

-Did some aso-ebi organizing

- Got some shopping FINALLY.

This is super brief.

But I had such a good day.

* twirls around*

But for some reason I can not attach books in my emails for my book readers. so annoying.

Emails at 1am

This week the love of my life Uloh was in town. Sooo we went out eating drinking running and just generally doing nuisancey shit around tow...