Monday, July 31, 2017

List 27: List the things that make you feel healthy, Mind, Body and Soul

Not in any particular order


Texting the boy I like
Solving problems
Getting a manicure
Witty conversations
Listening to Music

Working out
Yoga sometimes
Amazing amazing amazing sex. ( yes 3 Amazing's)
Spa days that consist of Hammams and Massages
Whole 30


The beach
Celebrating my friends
Shoulder kisses
Back of neck kisses
Forehead kisses

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Currently and musings.


Non stop because I'm the Queen of indulgence.

say her name na fiona
she ah very fine girl but you know that she no nice
alcohol and cigarette oh oh



Which is weird because I'm always reading. 


My mind is everywhere. So I would not finish this.
But I promise myself that I will write.

So I sent an email to the boy that I most certainly and it's blowing my mind because what the actual fuck type of stress is this,  think I like.

Trying to explain, 
that I do an immersion thing*,
that I'm quick to leave
and that I'm scared that I'd break him
and whatever the fuck this thing we have is
Like I break everything else.

Without sounding like I'm the Queen of excuses.
And eliminating more maybes?

E said- You can enjoy the juice but do not get lost in the sauce.
Me: Oh I think I already drowned.

* Sassy says I do. I do not even know what this means.

Sunday, July 23, 2017


So I met a boy.

That I *actually* like.


Lets check back in a month to see how I feel about this, cool?


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

T & E

Me: I do not know maybe I will go out on friday
E:    Well its election saturday
Me: Even better let me go and find whose house I will spend it at
E:    You know there is NO movement right? so you need to be sure you want to spend the whole day with whoever it is you wake up next to.
Me: Yeah, I'll probably just go home.
T:    Yeah you are probably not going home.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

testimonyyyy tahmmmm.

I do not worry a lot.

Things work out a lot for me, and those that don't, I chalk them up to things that shouldn't and I when I look back I'm thankful that they didn't.

But I worry sometimes about money when I make poor choices because I run a really tight ship with my finances.

Like if I deviate or wrongly forecast, I literally have to live on N5k for a week type tight ship.

Anyway, my friends and I have been trying to go to Ghana for AGES. and these heifers are the most unreliable sme sme filled girls. So to say we haven't been able to sort it out is an understatement.

Sha on saturday I was at Yoga, and turns out a bunch of people are going to * insert African country* and I'm interested.

Then when I'm told how much it costs I'm like yeah sign me UP.

So I pay for the accommodation on the spot.

And I'm like cool, I still have money for my mechanic who came to take my car that morning.

Sha, mechanic came and it was double what I budgeted, meaning I was going to be left with maybe N800 in my checking account.

But no biggie, I had money on my E-tag and fuel in my car for the week so I'm cool.

Sunday comes and these heifers are now " Serious" about Ghana.

New dates and what not, and more expensive ticket prices.


I also check the second trip because I mean I'm already intensely emotionally and financially invested.

Rookie mistake, I do not book a ticket on hold.

So Monday morning I get to work, I check online and I book a slightly cheaper ticket that the booking expires in 3 days but I do not really care because I mean I do not have the money and I'm doing the mental maths of  the fastest way of moving money around and maybe paying or not.

And because I'm silly and ungrateful and my memory is sooo short about how all the times God has come through for me, I start telling Eneni how, OMG I'm going to have to cancel one of the trips, most likely Ghana because no money etc etc etc.

Then I get a credit alert.
From my Old employers.
Co-operative Scheme.

Which is the exact amount of money for my ticket. That I had booked 30 minutes ago.

Because I have home training and I don't have power for onigbese and I'm well behaved I look at the details of the person that paid me. Like huh?

Okay so I'm confused, I'm calling who sent me the money like- EXCUSE ME, off course no one picks up.

I panic and tell Eneni that I just got some money but it has to be a mistake, she said send an email.

I send an email like " Hey guys I got some money, whats it about?"

Turns out on Friday they had a meeting and decided to pay Dividend and since I was a member up till May of this year I was eligible for payment and that was that.

Color me amused.

By the time the decision was made to pay me, I did not even know about the trip.

When I decided to go on the trip, I did not have the money but I paid for the accommodation anyway.

I booked the ticket and I had no idea where I planned to get the money from.

In literally 30 minutes of the booking being made, I got the exact amount.

You guys, I did not even pray or anything. It did not even occur to me to pray or tell God, I have other things I'm praying for so I'm like wo, this one I can handle let me not disturb God, I'm already asking him for that other thing- PS: He also sorted that one out as well.

All I did was try to start worrying about what had already been taken care off, before I even knew I was going to have that need.

Is God not amazing?

Doesn't he really see the end from the beginning and deserve our full and ultimate trust?

Am I not crazy for worrying when EVERY SINGLE TIME, he has come through so spectacularly that I am ashamed of how silly I was and I have Nigerian politician levels of shame AKA non existent.

Hint: Yes. Yes and Yes I am obviously crazy.

Like I want to put up the conversation I was having with my friend about how I'm going to have to drop a trip and stop buying things etc etc etc.

Shaaaa once I confirmed the money was actually mine.

I called the airline, confirmed the office location, and closing time.

Left my office at 4pm and went to pay for my ticket.

And that is that.

Vacation for the second half of the year sorted.

I still can't believe it.

Honestly if you want good things to happen to you, maybe you should hitch your self to my star because even me I can't explain it.

And this is why I really really really think my life's work has something to do with travel and travel finance, and why I keep at writing my Travel blog because I truly think they are linked but I'm still trying to work it out.
Plus there are only so many throwback posts I can give the gram before my bad belle followers block me.

Because, this is such a massive thing for me, I got home and told my mum.

She was like- God really likes you sha.

I told her- You think???

So that's the second travel testimony this year and we are just in July.

Dear God,

You know how we spoke about Asia being 2018 travel. Come through for your daughter.
Since you clearly have the hands and you are in the business of showing off in my life.

So I'm thinking the Thailand Yacht week* to ring in 2018 because you guysss I finalllly turn 30!

Then two weeks in May doing the big 4 Asian countries,

And if you have been reading this blog you already know how excited I have been about turning 30.

I really think I will enter my final form of fabulousness

Although people who know me say I am well on the way.

So that is the testimony.

God provided before the need physically manifested in my life.

 Also I'm thinking of trying out this fly without checking in luggage life.

So if anyone has tips come through for your girl abeg.

* I think it is cancelled now sha.

Ps: If anyone has been to Asia with a Nigerian passport tell me how you hacked it.
Pss: What Asian cities should I see?
Psss: Every trip is probably 2 weeks/10 working days.

List 26: List the things you would change in your life right now if you could


- My commute to work

-The fact that Eneni doesn't want to have a birthday party

-  The fact that I over sleep the next morning when I shower in the night ( and this is absolutely ridiculous)

- The fact that I'm not the Virgina black's ambassador for the West African market. please someone should talk to Drake for me.

Friday, July 14, 2017


LOL relax.

The Wale X Usher Song

Its like any growth, you can't be ready for it
Because its growth , It's gonna be new
you are going to have a new life
you are going to be a new person.

Baby I've been making plans 

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

List 25. List the things that make you feel powerful

This is so random because only last week someone said to me, you like to feel like super woman.

LOL - I need to get back into the gym.

I think I feel the most powerful when I win/get what I want.

It's awful but true.

also when I am able to get my body to do what needs to be done sometimes at the gym, or on the Yoga mat.

Finally when I react just exactly how I decided to response irrespective of how I feel like responding.
I feel so good when that happens.

Like I love it so much.

When I'm like girl you already decided you weren't going to flip, and I do not flip.

Perfect and Powerful.

Monday, July 10, 2017



non stop to as I am wont to do.

I know I know yet another spanish song.
In my real life, I'm going to marry a spanish billionaire because
in the words of JayZ, whats better than one billionaire? Two.

Y se formó la gozadera, Miami me lo confirmo
Y el arroz con habichuela, Puerto Rico me lo regaló

My spanish is getting better btw.


or just concluded reading this book.
Everything I needed to read/here in a flooded in weekend.

As you all know I am on a path to find my emotional range and I'm doing a lot of reading re: self awareness and this is such a good book.
Really important quote " You do not have to explain your love, You do not have to justify your love, You just need to practice your love.

Started a bout of self love my appreciating my body with sun salutations yesterday morning, fixing my hair and going to see the works of someone who said my features were very striking and he wanted to paint me. Old me would  have been like *side eye*, current me is like - wa wa wa thoughts. LOL.

Anyway its a really really solid book. 


-Kind to my body. I've had three surgeries and my body has housed my soul through recuperation and I'm done trying to get it into something else. My body is gonna be the body it is.

- Forgiving to the people who offended me. This is difficult because I used to be petty AF. But over the weekend, I took a step to forgive someone and I was really pleased. Still upset but glad.

-Late to work because rain came and washed away all the roads in Lagos.

- Truthful to myself and others by no longer telling lies that I do not need to tell. but especially to myself


For my favorite earrings. This loss of jewelry is so stressful for me because I never used to lose shit now I can't find anything.

Forward to this weekend, I have a yoga class and a wedding and I'm thinking maybe drinks and dinner.

Back at the delicious weekend I had. Asides being flooded in, I finally sorted out something that I have been stressing myself over. So pleased. I also took my new rings for a spin. Super pleased.

For people to do my get away with. Still silence.


-What someone who I met said to me, "I'm worried. You have so much depth", meant.
for whatever it is worth I'm sure it was a compliment.

- If this statement is true " Just because you are not winning, doesn't mean you are loosing"


That statement is true because its the window with which I plan to look at my supposed 6 month celibacy plan that turned into a short lived 3 week run.

Short lived is even being ambitious. but IDC IDC.


My life to the fullest.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Cougar du jour

Spent today in bed, I had exposed myself to the elements on Thursday and I just took today out rest and recoup.

My mum came in and said when she saw my car on a Friday night, then she knew I was really sick.

Imagine that?

Last night I was at bogobiri with T as is now our Thursday tradition ( till he runs away to America), and I met yet another 25 year old.

T shakes him and says, I prefer the one from last week.

I am about to die of laughter.

Why do you get to have a pissing contest with my baby boy's ? I ask.

Because It is always a pissing contest he replies.

I met an artist on Wednesday who has an exhibition I want to go and see after church on Sunday,

If anyone is interested please let me know so we can make plans to go together. My contact me page/link thingy has my email.

I'm finding my foray into art very very very interesting, It's almost like I stepped in and now EVERY door is opening to me.

I love that it is a really different laid back vibe from what I am used to in my actual job.

Also someone said they cant decipher what I do for a living from my Instagram account. Strange I swore IG had a different purpose but I guess I'm playing myself.

If anyone cares I'm in PR. LOL

That's what everyone thinks I do anyway so. :)

My former co-worker is getting married tomorrow and I honestly do not want to go.

Like I so don't want to go ehn, but I am going to go because it has already been decided by me and I think it would mean a lot to the bride if I show up.

Today is Eros's birthday.

And no I did not send him any present or message or olive branch because what is dead may never die but rise again stronger and oh look its 9 days to season 7 even though I don't watch GOT.

Still waiting on the final book sha.

I need to be really really really careful what I think/wish It always seems to come to pass.

I'm ready to become a super model and travel the world for free and run on beaches half naked and walk in fashion shows and write columns in magazines about my life in my spare time.

Dear Universe, my skin is clear enough for this now, over to you.

Speaking of travelling the world, I had planned to do more Nigeria travel but why does no one want to follow me?

I'm about to get myself a chunk of expat boyfriends to face this my travel dreams with because You nigerians aint shit ahn ahn.

Travel plans include IITA, Kaduna and Abraka.

You know just incase anyone is interested they are pretty much friday to sunday plan trips, pocket friendly and I'm celibate so I won't jump you. ( you can relax)

The only thing I ask, pay your way and take fire photos of me okay?

M thinks my life is very interesting.

Asides my self imposed sex drought, I am inclined to agree.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017


I think my boss is inappropriate.

Which isn't unusual. This is Nigeria.

But inappropriate in that he is giving me marital advice and we are not close like that.

Today in a group of people he said if I married you I would be flogging you in the house.

Interestingly enough I wasn't livid.

Just slightly amused because I'm never going to marry you what is the point.

And it dawned on me that I really really really might not get the range back.

Took a trip to clear my mind and now I'm even more lost with a shorter fuse than I can survive with.

But it means I'm not giving myself a headache over hypothetical situations that are never ever ever going to come to pass.

My favorite past time used to include doing that, building situational castles in the sky, but I learnt quickly that what you think is what you get so, I switched those thoughts up positive real quick.

And now life is good.

Sunday by the pool at Intercontinental with T,

T "So the boy from thursday"
Me: OMG he is 24444!
T: and?
Me: I don't know if sugar mummy is something I want to dabble in
T: He is going to be really smooth, if that he him at 24, his game is only going to get stronger
Me: Yeah definitely. but not for me
T: Gabrielle Union swears differently

*swats him*

My old friends have started throwing shade about T and I, which is really interesting because they couldn't be farther from what it is.

Same way my friend in Miami thought Yorubae was my boyfriend.

Interesting thing I've noticed is that everyone has started asking me if I am dating?
It's weird because I'm not.

Inappropriate boss was telling me today how he wishes he was 35 and could do life over again. Said he got jilted at 26 and carried it with him forever so he went on a sleeping around spree and then just couldn't stop and got married but still wishes he stopped to get to know people.

And it occurred to me that is why I was becoming celibate.

IssaRaunchySexRabbitLifestyle was becoming a tad too comfortable for me and not like it's a bad life (seeing as I enjoy(ed),- hopefully, it thoroughly), It always ends with people who aren't me getting hurt and that is not who I am ( okay maybe it is but I'm trying to be better).

And also because I was reading my journal and I remembered that someone told me that I break everything I come in contact with ( Fake news by the way, I'm a total healer).

I'm swearing off casual sex till I find the range to actually enter into a committed lets see what we are doing anyway type thing.

I also harbor this really strange fear where I'm not going to be able to pick someone because- who keeps bringing more I've had too many type thing.

And It's really strange because - How can I be afraid that I won't be able to chose someone, when I know a problem most people have is literally the opposite?

But you know what?

Problems are problems.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017


While I am totally thankful that I can afford to live the life I am living currently,

I absolutely hate the fact that I have choices to make and they are stressing me out.

1- To get a new passport OR to pay for 40 yoga classes at 40k. for 3 months which is honestly  A STEAL. ( i.e 1k a class in LEKKI, hello Unicorn?!)
I also need a new passport because

2- To invest some money or pay for my ikoyi club membership.

3- Find people to come to kajuru with my girls and I. Stress. esp as I do not know if I would be out of town for work.

Weirdly number 1 is the most stressful one for me because its such little money but because I run such a tight ship with my money I'm just like urgh. urgh. urgh.

List 24: List your quirks

Ah this.

I have like a really really really evil laugh. Think Cruella de-vil meets Ursula (Both Disney villains)

Like my real laugh not my I-think-you-are-cute-so-I'm-coy-and-giggling-laugh.

I snort when it's really really funny.

I complete people's sentences. ( However this is something I think I am trying to stop).

I'm likeable? Really likeable and very persuasive.

Monday, July 3, 2017

Banana fall on you

Last night something interesting happened.

A few things actually.

1- Someone stole our bottle of Hennessy at the club.

Lagos is too much for me.

2- I ran into someone who I hadn't seen in maybe 5 years and when he asked me if I was single, had a boyfriend seeing anyone, I casually said " Yeah I'm separated from my husband".

And he just said, lets have lunch some time, I let you get away before, I won't make that mistake again.


Ps: If you read this blog you know about the boy who wanted to take me to Paris for the weekend but I was in a "relationship". Yeah It's him, he moved back to Lagos last year.

3- I am actually really skinny now.  I saw a photo of myself on my friends snap chat and I'm like WHAT?

I'm so tiny. I need to eat like a goat abeg.


I keep getting little signs that maybe I am on the right track, Just maybe,