Sunday, December 30, 2012

the Question that would keep me up tonight.

Today Mr Lover wanted to go to the beach, I hated his shorts so I asked him to wear another pair

He said the button popped, so while he was taking a shower, I was attempting to sew on the button.

He walked in midway- My head was bent over  concentrating ( because I was struggling to use weave needle to sew a button- STRUGGLE)

I looked up and our eyes met in he mirror.

He smiled and asked me " What am I going to do when you leave?"

I giggled and replied " Nothing"

Looked down and continued my sewing.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

2012 and 2013

This year was a good year.

One of the best really.

I found myself. Did a lot of travelling. Got into a deeper level of understanding of what a relationship entails. Entered into a new level of a relationship.

Lost some weight. Gained some more weight.

Applied for my masters. Got in. Got my Visa. And all that jazz.

Got some very delicious presents this year.

Stopped being so judgemental.

Carried out two solo audits.

Audit led my 1st audit.

Made no new friends.

Lost a couple of friends.

Learnt to mind my business ( this was particularly hard for me- but the peace of mind that comes with it knows no bounds)

Learnt to keep secrets.

Became ACA.

Became closer to my sister.

Cemented the relationship with the lovers family( his brothers are amazingly selfless)

Got promoted at work.

Finally Quit my job.

2012 was a very very very good year.

I must say my life is super enviable. And all of this is to the glory of God.

All thanks to God in heaven for bringing me through.

What does 2013 hold for me.

Simple- Piano lessons, weight loss and a 1st class degree.

Because I struggle with expressing myself when writing( sometimes), the need to learn the piano is overwhelming.

Hence I want to learn to play the piano.

Weight loss- that's a given. All year round.

As for the degree- I implore you to join your jands with mine and ask God to gimmie the discpline to just settle down and get that shit over with.

And I have to admit. Bsc, Msc, ACA would raise my bride price quite nicely. And all under 25 too.


In 2013, I wish you all happiness. Both deserved and undeserved.

Peace of mind that gives you assurance that a God sits upon the throne.

And the grace and discipline to actually carry out all out new resolutions.

Monday, December 17, 2012


Its amusing how woma was talking about prostitution today.

Every one has that one friend that does "runs". Or if they aren't your friend, you know someone that sleeps with a married man for money. Or whatever it is that they do.

I have never really judged until recently.

Recently I lost all forms of respect for someone who I used to rate very highly.

I am totally disgusted and appalled by this person's behavior.

And I judge this person with every fibre of my being.

Strange thing is I haven't said a word to this someone.

We are all diffferent and I guess I was never really the persons friend, because if I was, I doubt they would gladly get into that.

People seek validation in all the wrong places.

And I think the people who seek it in random sex are at the bottom of the food chain of respect for me.

Because let's face it. No matter how much you want to pretend.

Random sex burns you out. So save your self the stress.

That being said- Mr Lover is the best boy in the world. :)

Or he is coming very very close to the mark.

We are able to spend weekends without arguing/ fighting these days. And I find it easier to make sacrifices for his happiness.

My uncle keeps saying he worries I am not head over heels in love with my lover.

I tell him I would be doing myself a dis-service by being head over heels in love with anyone asides myself really.

Why am I so upset at this someone anyway? It isn't my concern. But somehow it has offended me.

Sunday, December 16, 2012


I've never given prostitution much thought. I'm usually on the fence on that issue. Let's face it, its not like my morals are any better than the average sex worker. And if you think about it, there a lot worse things people out there do for money anyways. So yeah, prostitutes, whatever...
That was the way I thought about it. Please pay attention to the use of past tense in that statement. Because I've changed my stance on this issue. I'm now 100% behind prostitutes and what they stand for, (sit on, bend over, and swallow, if you've got that kind of cash).... Let's face it, its not really that bad a gig. Yes, there are biblical and religious stigmas to the issue, but fuck it, when was the last time you were good? I mean really good. I mean you'd have no qualms casting the 1st to 5th stone. I thought so.....
As you all know, I'm a corporate slave to the financial sector. A prostitute of sorts, because I get paid to wear uncomfortable clothing, speak dirty words to strangers (please, thank you and I'm sorry always leave a bad taste in my mouth) and spend my hours doing jobs which take a little bit of my soul every time. And now that I have come to accept what I am, I have decided like my more traditional sorority sisters to drop all pretenses, and embrace it.
A prostitute sees something she likes and wants, possibly needs. And all she has to do is fuck someone to get it. Yes, it the amount of 'someones' can be a bit overstated, but still that's the bottom line. I want this, if I fuck so and so...(And so....) I can get it. Why the fuck not? Free enterprise I say!
Now back to me. I want something. I want something badly. I want a new job. New employment. And I am willing to fuck for it. Yes, you read that correctly. I will fuck you for a new job. I am not ashamed to say it, and even less so to do it. I don't even care anymore, such is the extent of my discontent. Man, woman, sheep..... I'll fuck you if you can get me a new job. I'll do a man, while a sheep is watching if that's what you want (you sick sick fuck). I'll violate a sheep, while eating veal and wearing a woolen sweater. The extents to which I'm willing to go to are endless, all for the chance to stroll into the office on a monday morning, wipe my ass with a resignation letter, and staple it to the picture of my boss's family she keeps on her desk.
So please, consider this write-up as my CV Unplugged, The Lost Tapes. I want a new job and I'm willing to do you, your spouse and the family pet, just to get it. If you're interested, call toll free on
080-U-HER-ME-N-IT. I guarantee a good time, lots of fun, and a well oriented, self starter with good interpersonal skills, the ability to work under pressure and sufficiently proficient with Microsoft office.
I am Womilee, and I will fuck you.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I do not know what this is called but I want one so badly.

Eva Longria has one in her house in desperate housewives. Its a picture on a canvass- But there are three of them in three different base colors.

I really can not explain it. I need to find the name so I can order one for myself.

Also In "Dream girls" the movie, that scene where beyonce was singing "Listen" to Jamie foxx at home. She had a set on the wall behind her as well.

Who will put me out of my misery?


I trawled the interwebs instead of working and found what I was looking for.

It is called pop art by Andy Warhol, done using silk screens and different colors.

Let me show you a few.

Marilyn Collage 

Dom P - My absolute favorite

Imagine this but three of them in different print & color! 
 The most amazing one 

So that is it folks- Google IS  your friend.
You just need to look hard enough

And just to show you how much of a genius he is- peep this quote

What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca-Cola, and you can know that the President drinks Coke, Liz Taylor drinks Coke, and just think, you can drink Coke too. A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the Cokes are the same and all the Cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it." - Andy Warhol


I found the listen scene on youtube and was able to get a clear shot of what I wanted.

see it

And I want one exactly like that.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Today I admit what I have been fighting to admit for a long time.

I realised this when I signed my lease agreement for 26 weeks and held off popping it into the mail at Nipost today to my landlord ( to be) in Scotland.

Yes, I eventually got around meeting one of my new year resolutions to sort out my further education plans AND I did.

I am going away for a year to do a masters degree program!


Until this morning, I didn't really understand the implication of this. I would be leaving home for a whole year.

Needless to say, I am not so pleased with this arrangement. In fact- Be careful what you wish for.

So being the proactive soul that I am, I have decided to mitigate this feeling of fish out of water, I decided to create links with the Nigerian online community. AKA facebook and Twitter.

So I got back on twitter. and realised not much had changed. Actually I take that back- NOTHING has changed.

Same madness and randomness.

So my migration plan to the Iphone makes little or no sense as I need my BBM to keep in touch with my loved ones here.

If there is anything like homesickness in advance- It is what I am feeling.

I am Lowkey excited though. but at the same time- the fear of the unknown is killing me.

Anyway I now have to find time to see all my friends and tell them but only after I have found a suitable answer to the only question they all ask " What will happen to your lover"

I am wondering about this myself.

Anyways now that is done. Let me see IF I still know how to work this twitter thing.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Funniest broadcast I have received in ages!


01. Feed him
02. Sleep with him
03. Leave him in peace
04. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
05. Don't bother him about his movements/where are you?
06. Honor him

What's so hard about that.... ?


It's really not difficult To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be:

01. A friend
02. A companion
03. A lover
04. A brother
05. A father
06. A master
07. A chef
08. An electrician
09. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organiser
22. A good father to the kids
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate


44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Take her shopping
46. Be honest
47. Be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls


50. Give her lots of attention,
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


53. Never to forget: 
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

I found this so amusing because men expect most of this stuff sans electrican and mechanic and pest exterminator.

Anyways weekend was too live. Couldn't go to work today.

Instead dragged my sister to get a mani and pedi with me.

I have really missed her these past weeks. And now its my brother that generally gets on my nerves. - all disrespectful and shit. Grinds my gears to no end.

Anyways the nail saloon was really nice, polite staff and I got to bond with my sister, which we never ever ever get to do.

My Lover is possibly the best boyfriend in the world.

Somehow he manages to outdo himself everytime.

And this is not me complaining. He is so protective of me sometimes- it is endearing.

At the club on friday when I told him I did not drive, he came by to get me.

And I did not even ask him sef. #superboyfriendstance

I have decided to start using the 3 step clinque thingy. It had better work.

Generally I have been here and there.

By the way, my nails look so amazing.

I need to get my ass back into the gym. I haven't been there in a month and a week, and yoga in 2 months sef.

I am becoming a fattie bom bom yo! :(

How was your weekend? Any of you prepping for Dec yet? Hair nails and all that jazz?

Or home travel?
Ps: I learnt that being nice means that it is supposed to be an inconvenience to you. Ie waste your time/ cost you something.

Armed. With that knowledge, it is a lot better for me having that at the back of my mind no?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Around 8 pm in Victoria Island, one of my mothers drivers was going home, when men of the night attempted to snatch his car- He fought them off and got stabbed.

Luckily for him he was wearing his mopol outfit, and police passing by stopped drove him to the police station and then the general hospital.

Yesterday afternoon, my aunt who is a tailor in Ebute metta handed me the CV of her land lady. the CV owner has a BSc in economice- But I can not seem to find a job/ opening anywhere.

And I am so sad. :(

This is not what I wanted to write about- I was going to tell you about my beautiful friend, who encourages me to be a better significant other.

But I am still so sad about the situation of the country.

It seems like everything is just falling apart,

and people are here screaming Good Nation, Great people.

good nation my fucking ass.

If my mother did  not get to general hospital on time, they would not have treated her driver- Because of #5,000.


There is too much madness in this country.- Even worse, after cleaning and stitching the wound, he started coughing up blood- Turns out the doctor should have drained the blood that spilled internally before cleaning up.

Nigeria is a ticking time bomb.

And I hope none of my loved ones are here when the bomb goes off.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


My friend got married today, I was so excited!

And she was super ecstatic too!

Because I am such a former and I am uber shy, I am sure I will cringe when at my wedding the kiss the bride moment comes up- OR i would have had enough alcohol to lean into it thoroughly.

That being said, I do not think I like PDA very very much.

What is strange about this is that- I have no idea why I do not like it. I am uncomfortable when people around me attempt to get super loved up with a significant other.

I am that girl who would rather run to make out in a dark parking lot at the club than actually in the club.

This is so odd because two years ago- I was a public kisser.

I think I am becoming a more private person. I do not know IF I like this.

Today I had a false flash of happiness- And it felt so damn good. I was not even mad when I discovered it was not true.

I was kind of amused.

I will have to get back on twitter soon- Except I think I have forgotten how to tweet and the proper internet etiquette. - But when I get to that bridge I will cross it.

At the insistence of my aunt who said wearing flats would take away from my outfit today- I wore heels.

I do not think I have had a more through calf work out ever. ever. not even when I was in igbobi and I had to lift sandbags 50-100 times a day.

Anyways- It was not exactly fun- extremely uncomfortable AND my ankles killed me for hours afterwards.

I do not know how I would have survived If I was not 6ft tall.

struggling with 6 inch heels and all that *shudders*

Anyways I am sure some people derive some joy from the pain.

My friend who is a heel connoisseur has corns on her toes- and her feet are ugly as fuck- She claims she has been squeezing them into impossible shoes.

I do not even have a toe fetish but if I was male- I would def need to see your feet before committing to anything.

I am currently re-reading "act like a lady and think Like a man" Like I earlier stated, I do not really have man problems- This isn't me bragging or anything. Its me being honest. I can spot bull shitters a mile away and I tend to attract men, in copious amounts.

at lunch on sunday with my Friends- One said, her new game plan was to get all the people on her case to take her out to eat religiously. I said I envy you, If I was single, that would probably be what I would be up too as well, so I'm cool with that. Other friend said, shebi you need to find the men to be toasting you before you can be going out to eat.

And I replied= If I was single I would have men who would be willing to take me out to eat.

Its really simple- Men like me.

But that isn't the point I am trying to make. The point I am trying to make is that the book is not really a play book if men like you.

It is witty commentary, Personally I do not think a christain who says they are a christain but proposes pre martial sex is one who should be giving relationship advise sha- But you know orishirishi America. It is a good read, If you are bored, However, If you have man trouble- I think you should steer clear from this book.

Like a million and one miles away.

It does you no favors.

I have started running/ Jogging again. This time it was as a result of the fact that I was bored- And If I jog at maybe 9- all the wretched men in my estate wont leave me alone- So I go at night Like 11:20 ish.

My friend Debo thinks I'm mad- he says better Toasted than mugged.

I am so thankful for my friends, They are all so sweet & appreciative of things I do not even consider to be major things that I do for them,

I always get Thank you babe/  I love you babe messages- until recently this did not warm my heart, but with the new changes looming in the horizon, I'm trying my best to savour this.

I have been getting a lot of love lately.

From the strangest of places.

You know when you want something- get it and then you are not sure it is what you wanted?

I can not wait to lock my hair! Dread locks for the win!

This post is so everywhere! urgh! urgh! urgh!

Can you miss someone in advance? Like is that logically possible?

Does anyone have any tips asides "just be yourself" when attempting to make new friends?

Because to be honest- friend making is the worst thing ever.

I just watched Mr& Mrs- Can someone say Low budget? Or maybe the Nigerian films that are always so eager to spend a whole scene eating ice cream at mr biggs has colored my views- That film might have as well been someone in film schools assignment.

The story line well- It is predictable-  Except In real life when you leave the men usually upgrade to a newer model. who can do everything better faster and harder than you.

How did I just realise that Sugar. Honey. Iced. Tea dream kept singing about is actually SHIT?

I love Old music- I feel like my soul- Musically- is stuck in the wrong generations all this Gbon gbon gbon music is not really speaking to me.

And does nothing for me. And music always does something to me.

This post is so jumbled up- I would not even bother to proof read it- I think I had a bit too much palm wine today.

How is it that I can hold Vodka, whiskey, brandy etc etc but palm wine gets me tipsy?

Does that not defy all logic?

Emails at 1am

This week the love of my life Uloh was in town. Sooo we went out eating drinking running and just generally doing nuisancey shit around tow...