Friday, December 15, 2017


Listening  to

Bare foot on the grass
listening to our favorite song

If that is not real love. I have no idea what it is.


I liked the book, but it was so much fluff.
I feel awful that someone writes about her life and I am saying it's fluff, but it just did not appeal to me. I live for a good laugh but I'm glad for the representation she provides for other black women comics in hollywood so I welcome it but yah.


Excited about December rocks. In Sabirah's words, #DecemberIsForEnjoyment

Confused about the number of men in my life. January 1- all of them are out. ( new year new men).



Thursday, December 7, 2017

Update on silence

I've had a rough two weeks.

I was sick

My laptop crashed and I lost all my information i garnered all through the year. My books. My expenses I tracked. my music. my articles. my everything. vacation photos. you name it- I lost it.

And men in my life have been moving mad.

T travelled.

I couldn't drink any alcohol because I was sick and I had no idea what was wrong with me so I had to do 3 different antibiotic cycles.

But it wasn't all bad.

I went to see an exhibition at Rele with sugar baby and it was so wonderful.
Love the arts.
Sold water for my mum at the experience ( I mean she conned me into doing it) but yah quite the experience. I loved it and became more interested in going into the family business.

Even though I know that this was just a series of bad incidents. it felt like the devil remembered me personally and I was so pissed off.

Like so upset.
My favorite uncle came into town for the week and it's so nice to see that he remembered that I told him I was taking a year from dating and a year had wrapped up and surprise- Not dating.

I'm like abeg allow me drink water and drop cup.

Love him still.

Currently looking for a job in Investment Banking preferably compliance because everyone is worried I'd become a trader and morph into an alpha male and start doing cocaine.

I mean I wonder how they all arrived at that conclusion but I guess I should listen and play small- Not.

Really worried that my Audit experience is not truly transferable and wow. Thats 6 years of my life and professional exams?

The devil is a liar.

That being said
I also lost all the copies of my most recently edited CV.

If I say I'm not over this- I'm lying.

weekend plans coming clutch and then there is the realization that my office does not close for xmas.

Excuse me. WOW.

You mean i do nothing all year but won't close for christmas?


I need  a new job.

But I'm grateful for the new one sha.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017


I had an event at work yesterday that I stepped in for my co-worker who is out of town doing a training and I just realized this is what I am born to do.

So today I goggle careers in hospitality and it just hit me when I read the JD of hotel concierges that this is what I have been doing my whole life.

For free.

For family and friends.


I am almost in tears.

Now how to morph from Chartered accountant to best in the world concierge.

2018 goals just all fell into place.

So now I know that everything I get into will arch into getting me from where I am to where I am supposed to be.

Ps: how did I miss this thing that is so glaringly infront of my face?

Monday, November 20, 2017

List 39: List the most beautiful things you have ever seen

Off the top of my head,  the view of lake Kivu from Nirvana Hotel in Gisenyi.

The view just goes to show God exists and he is super mindful of us and the things we might enjoy.

The sunset last night in Lagos was so randomly beautiful.

I loved it.

My mum smiling at my sister on her wedding day. That was super beautiful too.

Monday, November 13, 2017


Went to my friend's brother's wedding on Saturday evening.

No biggie, I'm settling into my seat but then my friend starts to introduce me to everyone else on the table.

First she introduces me to the man to my right- it's her boyfriends friend. I say hey.

Then she introduces me to a girl. who I know, so when she says this is Chioma, I say oh we know each other.

but Chioma tried it. She wanted to be a Lagos girl, so she squinted and said "I don't know you"

And I tell her " Your friend used to fuck my ex husband".

And all of a sudden she knew me.
She spent all night trying to explain away her non involvement in the situation.

Me: I don't care, I'm not judging you. Or her. It is what it is.

Lagos people if we know each other- Stop pretending.
I've stopped.
I'm saying hey. you better say hey back.

Also she is such a Lagos girl she cracked,
if the roles were reversed I'd pretend even harder about not knowing me.

Monday, November 6, 2017

25 and Party

You know the best part of birthday's?

It's a low hanging fruit regarding reconciliation for all the people I have stopped talking to.

and when I say low hanging I mean that's probably the easiest way to get back in my good graces.

So as you can imagine I had a few stragglers from my past.

Some stupid. some more stupid. but come they did.

And I'm not mad at that.

I had a party for my birthday on Saturday.

I used to host so much when I lived at home before Eros.

And even when I got married and moved in, I hosted everything.

Surprise parties at Oriental presidential suites for Eros, to surprise  house parties for his brother. To planned birthday parties for his friend that lived with us at the time, to whatsapp groups for surprise showers to surprise birthday parties. Sha sha I was the plug for party-ing.

I love party planning. but in the last year I hadn't planned any parties.
And I told myself that I was going to spend the year going back and doing the things I enjoyed and so I decided to have a party.

And it was more expensive than I anticipated and my last guests left at 2am but my heart is full.

And I'm glad I decided to have the party.

turns out lots of people thought I was 25 because I told them I was 25, it's going to be a funny time when I turn 30 next year.

My skin is clear because I am celibate.
Well maybe not because that exactly but since I left men alone, I haven't had any pimples and my body has been working really well so I know for a fact that it must be the man fast I went on that is doing the lords good work.

Dinner with T tonight for restaurant week.
I'm just glad I have men who aren't trying to fuck me but are happy to feed me.
Small mercies.

List 38: list the ways you can love yourself more

Start playing the piano
Take up squash properly ( the sport) or any sport really
Wake up earlier
Say no to people more
Not take myself too seriously
Quit alcohol for real
Find something valuable to build.
Enjoy life to the fullest.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Me and T conversations

Me: I was so tired, I considered turning off my phone and pretending to be asleep
T: wow how are you even think that- at this point you are better off sucking it up
Me: I did. Meh
T: ah last week this boy was all up on your IG and this week see how you are talking
Me: One minute you are cock of the walk next minute you are the feather duster
T: Indeed.

Monday, October 30, 2017

The weekend and first date and the birthday count down.

My birthday is in T-3 days
You all know how exciting birthdays generally are, but I am amped up.
Decided to just ask everyone to donate money to  #TheBriconFoundation instead of stressing with presents that I will use small and then dash out or something.

I've never really been big on visiting oprhanages and doing the photo ops- even though I think they are a great idea, never really been my style. So I'm really excited that I get to work with breast cancer survivors.

what- I'm a boob girl through and true.

Party talk aside.

I went on a date this weekend.
because I don't go on a lot of these things I'm generally torn with what is appropriate and what is just down right stupid.

ps: Date told me I smiled alot but came across as cold, and when I asked him what I could do to be warmer he said nothing.
I will not be speaking to him again, because abeg no power.
Also I spent maybe 15 of the date texting my home girls about how much I missed the boy I liked but I do not speak to anymore.

It was a good date though. Music. Abuja nights. Wine and no one trying to grope me.

This weekend was BUSY.

Friday I went to Ijebu for my friends grandma's burial.
Saturday saw me on the first flight out of Lagos to Abuja for my friend M's wedding.
ps: I really like Abuja sha.

The wedding was really really good except I got there at the tail end, but got to spend time with the bride. She looked radiantly gorgeously stunning.

M- you make a beautiful bride and I wish you and Y- all the happiness in the whole wide world.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

List 37: List what you would spend a million dollars on, just for you.

1- Bitcoin
2-treasury bills
2.b- Fund a Nigerian start up that deals with waste management on beaches.
3- the two pent houses  here
4- Round trip to Asia for a month
5- Yacht week for italy -ALONE.
6- Trip to ice-land with my momma.
7- Paris for the weekend
8- Maybe a one bedroom apartment at eko atlantic. I mean we all know that water is going to still carry it away last last

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Why does it feel like

Everyone is trying me today?

One girl who entered my dm's last year thinking I was fucking the boy who was talking to her who is my friend Dm'ed me today about a book.

Like bitch?
Do I look like Santa?

Then I have noticed another one's wife LOL-ing my tweets indiscriminately.
This crazy

Then the icing on the cake is my whatsapp group from my vacation- Yeah that one/

Someone posted a group photo and cropped me out.

Bumped into him at Yoga on Saturday and you can be sure I asked him what that was about.

He said, " It was nothing personal"
Him: " No it just looked better with you cropped out- the aesthetic."

And I thought to myself that this fucking wanker who opposed every single group photo suggestion
talking about- He only wears shorts and he doesn't mind not being in the photos- thought the aesthetic of a photo would be better on Instagram- which by the way lets you zoom in so you can post all the wide angle lens photos you want- with me cropped out.

Mind you said photo was taken on my iphone.

Anyway I'm good with it. I mean its your Instagram and whoever we want to post on our page is our perogative.

Fastforward to this afternoon- He says oh he is writing about the trip and wants to  crave our indulgence to use our photos-

you can be sure I replied- Crop me out please.

So someone else in the group is like I think the group damages my reputation and they are not good enough to be seen with me- I neither confirm nor deny because you know it's not a thing

But I message the someone on the side and tell him what happens.
and he is like wow.
but continues talking about how I'm too good for them in the group.
Me: Leaves group *deletes group*

Now this is the real trying- WHY. THE. FUCK. ARE. PEOPLE. ASKING.ME.WHY.I.LEFT.THE.GROUP?

Look- I'm not even angry just carry your teasing and be going. Thanks.

Like I'm at a point where nothing is going to stress me out.

Asides this ovulation that has my boobs acting up.
but I'm ready for it.


Listening  to Bare foot on the grass listening to our favorite song If that is not real love. I have no idea what it is. Rea...