Friday, March 16, 2018

On first dates

So quick background story

Yesterday I was in traffic tryna meet my girls 1pm dress fitting appointment because 1- I did not want to be late and 2- I did not want to be late and 3- I really wanted to be on time.

So here I am in traffic trying not to be late listening to music having a blast when I see someone either trying to enter the front of my car or something. I'm like whatever. I'm on the bonny camp bridge.

Fastforward to 5 minutes later I'm at the Onikan link road to Igbosere ( where the dress maker is) WHEN. this car parks infront of me and flags me down.

Now I'm slightly confused, It's HOT AF and I'm being stopped in the middle of the road, so I swerve Lagos style and the driver comes down. So I wind down my front passenger window and I'm like " yes?, can I help you?"

And he is like okay I don't think you can park here,
and I'm like yeah so did you want something?
And he says " Oh I just wanted to say hello and get your name"

And it occurs to me that this young man has just pulled me over, illegally parked his car, walked to my car in the sun to get my phone number.

As an aside: I looked a right mess yesterday. Like I don't even think I had my brows drawn on

I was bemused.

Anyway my bemused self said to him, oh thats why you came all the way?, I laughed pulled out one of my complimentary cards and said please send me a text I have somewhere I have to be. and drove off.

I was 5 minutes late to the meeting but the bride was 30 minutes late. I was actually the first person to get there. LOL.

So I tell everyone and they are like - does this still happen in Lagos?

I swear I have no idea.

Anyway so this morning at 8am there are two missed calls on my phone. My lil boyfriend had called me.

I didn't know at the time, so I think it's someone who I'm supposed to meet with but I'm like can I call you back.

Which I do and he asks if I'm free today because he is free from 12 and would love to see me.

I'm thrown off because I'm like two things - one it's lent and two, I've given up men in 2018.

Anyway I'm talking to Yorubae, about how I wan't to cancel and vanish, and he is like but you had a good week so you should treat yourself.

So I say let me think about this and get back to you at 1pm. its 2pm I'm here writing this instead.

I have no idea what to do, usually people just say - do you wanna go see a movie, have lunch, grab a drink etc etc. but I never get to choose so when I said I'll get back to you I kinda meant like I'm never getting back to you.

If we had parks now shey I would have said we should go and sit there and chatted for a bit. Now none of that in lagos, so my options is to take him to one of my favorite lowkey resturants AND OR take him foundation swatching for me.

Beloved these are my first date choices.

Actually I can always just go see Gringo at silverbird with him but abeg.

I'm a clapper. at the movies.

So I think I'll just cancel.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018


I spend a lot of time
More than I ( or anyone who isn't a music producer really) should actually lying in bed and listening to music.
now whether I'm alone or with company with unimportant.

But occasionally I'm in someone's bed and I've hooked up my phone or ipod to their speaker and we are just lying there listening to music.

And it is the most delectible and delicious thing.
I'd just like there pulling the notes out of the air and adlib-ing.

When I become a sugar mummy full time, it will be in this zone that my sugar baby will get anything he wants if he asks.
Saying please.
and giving me a foot rub.

Anyway I'm going away to Portharcourt for my friends wedding and I think I might spend a good portion of my time sitting by the pool working, pretending to be working and real life studying, while I just listen to music and enjoy my life.

Before I come back to Lagos and start stressing about parking space and mad people driving on the road

Now my dresses are ready for the wedding.
My tailor is the best thing since sliced bread. no jokes.
She did a madness with my dress.

Back to Port Harcourt I am dreading going sans plus one. Everyone is going to have someone they are coming with and I am dreading that the bride will do something ridiculous like give me the bouquet. I think I will die. Like literally the ground will have to open up and swallow me die.

People keep thinking because I'm separated I hate weddings.
I love weddings. I actually enjoy them so much. If I was a braver person I would go to china and buy a pyrotechnic machine and come back and cash out massively.

But we all know I'm a coward.

Anyway I am excited to make it a vacation. My first one this year because again I woke up and decided to do a complete 180 career wise and for someone who never second guesses herself; I keep asking myself- is this really what you wanna do.

I was telling my mum that I am so over qualifications. That in the last 8 years I've managed to get a Bachelors, a Masters, and I'm on my second set of charter qualifications.

Look if after all of this I'm not a billionaire then I'm going to find a billionaire and marry the fuck out of him because I do not understand this shit.

But as I was writing this I got an email offer for a job suiting me to the T. Like this thing is so strange just when you don't want to do something again then it starts falling out of the sky. case in point. This job.

I didn't even reply.
The hiring team called me like hey, I sent you an email you did not respond.
And I told her I do not think this aligns with my career plans.

And in my mind, I'm like na me be this?
Turning down jobs?

There is really nothing I'm not worthy of.

I am wearing the cutest black dress today it's a Zara medium I don't think I could fit maybe 3 months ago and now I can zip it up myself.
Although I think it's squeezing my boobs too much sha. but we will see.

I miss T so much

If he was in Lagos I'd be an orobo by now because we'd be eating our way through. Also he is coming to town month end with his girlfriend- FINALLYYY. I'm always so excited when my friends bring their girls to meet me.

My mum thinks I'm tying too much to my exams.
How could I not I think? She looks at me like meh.
I think she is playing too much with the things important to me.

This week has been good, I'm having the strangest set of dreams.
I am happy.
I fit into a dress I like.
I'm off to the library to do some reading.
I'm packing a swimsuit and getting a brazilian. for my vacation to PH.

What color to do my nails?
Thinking of a mini ghana road trip in June?
Eyeing my vacation to italy like are you gonna be possibleeee- Yas.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018


listening non stop to

I love this song.
I love Burna. But this song.
Damn, I love this song.

This book.
It is so good.
I read it into 1am and I am currently sleep deprived but damn. So good.
Please if you are less busy get into this.
If you are super busy.

My time: split between listening to my mum and I'm constantly in awe of how amazing she is. and preparing for exams.

My money: and a lot of it, for my exams.

Time I don't even have: Trying to see if I can squeeze in a mini holiday. ( I know I know)

if this emotional maturity is where it's at. because turns out I'm might be "guarded". whatever that means

Nothing. okay only Eneni's asoebi and sewing it. And a blouse to wear for the traditional wedding.
and I have room for only one more clothing item purchase the whole year.

for actual thorough healing. and the sense not to lie on my stomach when I sleep.

Someone just actually buys me flippin' titanium bar bells.
and sunscreen

Monday, February 19, 2018


You ever feel like you might have bitten off more than you can chew?

I love learning, I hate not knowing.

I decided early this year to write professional exams to faciliate my move into a new career path.

this meant two things- Bye bye to baby girl living

Spending all my savings on this exam

All my free time spent studying and taking classes

and the best one- learning from scratch because you decided to chart a new course in your life.

And I am overwhelmed.


But I know how uncomfortable my life currently is and how much better it can be if I moved houses at least over the weekend so I'm not struggling/dying in traffic daily when I use that time to be studying.

Anyway what this means is that I may have to move houses.

But I've used rent money to write the exams.

At the risk of sounding like a whiner.

I'm tayadddd.

But at the same time excited in class.

It's the strangest thing really.

People keep asking why do you want to do this and what if you don't like it.

LOL at this point I have two PHD's in starting over.

That's what I will do. start over if I hate it.
The end.

For now, send me prayers.

Thursday, February 8, 2018



on Sunday night I was scrolling through twitter when I saw a writer asking people to please buy his book.
so I go on kindle read a sample, I like it and I hadn't really read any gay chick lit.
so I bought it.

and didn't get any debit alerts on any of my bank cards.
I'm like hmmn will check this out.

I finish the book and decide to use my laptop to look through some more titles in the same vein, to see the ones to buy.

I see a few.
I buy one, it gets delivered to my kindle instantly but I get no debit alerts.


I check the payment tab on my amazon account.
Turns out Eros's card is still linked to my amazon account.

I buy books until I get an email from amazon talking about there is an issue on my last order regarding my payment method aka. insufficient funds.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. Idc idc.

So I'm telling my friend and she is like wow- you are wild. what if he finds out?
me: How is he going to find out?
her: You bought books- that's how he is going to find out.
me: shrugs.

I don't care tbh.

also how apt that valentines day is on ash Wednesday?

Thursday, February 1, 2018


"I enjoy you"

You'll get tired of me soon. I should ration myself  so I can seem more interesting for longer.

You worry about the wrong things.

Monday, January 22, 2018


I think I have a new shiny crush.

Don't send help.

Dear men

who are trying to sleep with me.

Please don't tell me you will get me the job of my dreams.

My career is super important to me.

Just offer me cash like the rest of your mates so I can tell you no.


Thursday, January 18, 2018

Ramble Bramble

I woke up to a 3am message from someone I randomly used to talk to.

and I think I'm honestly giving up men in 2018.

Like all of you should just go with your wahala. \ALL\

It was not a bad message per say but actually Its a message I'd never send.
Like I sent it to my friend and she's like this is so sweet, I'm like- y'all are mad.

I had a cocktail at the house called the bramble and it was really good- If any of you Lagos people are looking for where to go and eat- The house is a good spot.

Spent the last two days battling cramps and my God I need to clean up my diet. I spent the last month eating like a piglet and drinking like a fish. my uterus was not pleased. A week into my period felt slightly discomforting but the day I got my period I couldn't sit upright. I had to take a drug that is not FDA approved.

couple this with the fact that I managed to jam my boobs with my car door. ( don't even ask).

Went to the hospital and the doctor looks at my boobs and is like-  When was your last period?
Me: Huh?
Him: I need to know that you aren't pregnant before I prescribe a drug for you.

Anyway I feel better now, thank you for asking.

I feel like my male friends are so invested in my dating life. it's the strangest thing.

I mean thanks guys but at the same time- LOL.

Also just read the wait. I feel like I should apply that to my job search and my career.
seeing as I am celibate anyway. ( and this is not as a result of lack of options)

I'm really tired of being the person who is a femme fatale. Actually I'm not.
I just hate all the men who on my radar.
so I'm throwing the whole thing away.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Nigerian Man

I had dinner with T and D and D's niece and Temi.

As usual T and his party was late

we were the last party to leave the restaurant and while we waited for D to get out of the bathroom,

T turns to me and says

"You are a Nigerian Man and there is no redemption for you"

I find that when people describe you as masculine as a female when it has nothing to do with your looks ( a la serena) it really just means that you are breaking out of the box they put you in.

I am as assertive as they come and I do not back down ever.

Now because I'm female I'm expected to be demure but I have decided to just go out and grab all the lives I can live with both hands.

Only men take. women are expected to be given and be grateful that they receive- never mind that it's not what you want.

As someone who has decided to live a full life. read as many books. research the back story of the break out star in the movie I totally adore ( #TheGreatestShowMan). possibly embrace cougar life (LOL).  I find that people are encouraged. Inspired.

There is a lot of if you can so can I vibes. I love it.

And I'm thankful that T thinks I'm a Nigerian man, because I interpret that to mean that I'm living life on my terms.

You know the way Nigerian men do.

but I have emotional intelligence to know that I should not be an asshole.

Also the food at Craft is good. I had such a wonderful time last night

Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy New Year !

I want to do a review but at the same time I'm like is there any need?

2017 was a good year. were there highlights? Too many

low places? a few.

But a good lesson I forced myself to learn was focusing on blossoming. Focusing on what was working.

The whole hack of life is not to focus your energies on tearing down the old but in building the new things.

And beloved- I'm keeping that energy in 2018.

I was talking to my friend and she said- yeah no you year, new me?

I said nah.

Yesterday I had lunch with the boy I liked, we had lunch on Friday and it was such a good time.

And surprisingly we saw the wedding party 2 and Jumanji together and it was such a fun outing.

Totally random. and while I was going to lie at home, Sugar baby calls me and invites me to dinner.

It's so nice to see him.

We should always be around people that who make us feel good. and whose company we enjoy.

Anyway at the restaurant where we were the last people to leave, I saw the most beautiful beautiful beautiful way a family enters into the new year.

There was champagne. There was a child running around with sparklers. Mother and Grand mother smoking and talking in their language and it was perfect. I should have taken a photo. When I mentioned it to Sugar baby he said make sure you get all the details so you get around writing about it. It's perfect.

We laugh over that.

And I realize I've spent a lot of 2017 making new friends. reading books I thoroughly enjoy. visiting new cities. lying in the dark listening to albums I enjoy ( this is one of my absolute favorite things in the world)- Maybe I should invest in a super surround sound system.

I toyed with the idea of moving out. Maybe this year I will consolidate this. Maybe.

I have looked forward to 2018 for such a long time because THIRTYYYYY. full fabulous.

offcourse I have travel planssss and they are so big and scary but here is the thing if they aren't big and scary how else will growth happen?

In the way of career. I'm ready to get back into the rat race. I miss audit A LOT. but I will never go back. It's too hard too stressful and the occupational hazard.

I think asides work there is not much I plan to change in 2018.

And I want to face this minimalist life business.

And try out this piano thing again for real.

And make more money.

Oh and starting a business.

I had actually posted how I wasn't changing much because to be honest 2017 was a good year.

And I am so grateful to God for how it all panned out.

For living.
For love
For food
For friendships honorable mention to T who moved back.
For church
For my relationship with God
For my nails

And I am truly thankful.

On first dates

So quick background story Yesterday I was in traffic tryna meet my girls 1pm dress fitting appointment because 1- I did not want to be lat...