Random note.

so i read a blog post recently, that someone i know put up and i thought at first oh wow, i had no idea relationships are enviable.

then the second thing i thought was there are no perfect relationships.

then the 3rd thing i thought was, oh your single, nevermind, you wont understand.

but as it turns out i was wrong on all three counts.

somr realtionships are enviable, the ones where you are only aware off all the good stuff and all the presents shared. the owner isnt lying per se, they just arent letting you in on the whole package, and so you are envious, the gifts are pretty, the angry words during the fights that led to the gifts being given, not so pretty. but you wont know that, no one would tell you.


second, alomst like the first except you are now privy to imformation. the reasons for the fights, the arguments, the insecurities, the cheating, all the other girlfriends and then you think, oh sheet, she can never be happy here, she is seeling her self short blah blah blah. funny thing is, before you knew all this, she was in an enviable realtionship.

what you dont know wont kill you. really it wont, especially when it isnt your business.

its odd how you envied her happy and now you want her single because there is a rough patch and you are privy to information about it??

third, you do understand because you have been there, so you do know that there are difficult times, but we all chose to remeber only the happy times of the relationships we have had, and somewhat cannot understand how or why this girl stays, with the possessive boyfriend, the nonchallant boyfriend, the cheating boyfriend( even i cant understand) but along the line, we learn to accept our friends choices, accept thier decisions and support them.

and keep the "i told you" so snide comments to ourseleves.

if she loves him or thinks she does, who are you to stop her??

sometimes, i wonder why people make the opinions of others so important in thier relationships, why they feel the need to be friendly with people you honestly cant stand.

ok i think thats all.

moving on something has snapped inside me, before i was able to put up with peoples excesses. like pretend to be cool around people i dont like to please the people i do like. now i cant.
before i could bridge the gap between all my different circles of friends, now i cant. or rather i wont.

yes if a doesnt like be, its thier problem, i would no longer try to fix it. not anymore. you will both have to live with the fact that a and b are my friends. end of story.

mummy told me the older i get i'd realise that
a) all men are the same.
b) in the end it all comes down to you.
c) these people you carry on your head, will fail you. and its only God that wont.

i believe i have reached this point.
*shrugs*