Being Nigerian

Being Nigerian has become hard, not because our Nigerian boys here stay falling hand, or our President's wife dies and wakes up after 10 days.

Being a Nigerian is hard because the statistics are daunting and terrifying.

It is hard coming here, and hating it here BUT not wanting to go back home, because there is light, water and  so much ability it is possible to plan your day.

It becomes even harder when your Philippines( or is it Filipino) lecturer is describing subsidy fraud to the whole class and Nigeria is the example- And when you finally listen to an educated economist break down all the variables and how the Nigerian market's own is- Then you know it is time to apply for " American Visa lottery"

It is hard when I'm having conversations with Q and Mo and shale gas comes up and they are so excited about the prospects of America becoming energy independent and since America and China are 70% of the worlds demand of oil- economies like Nigeria would crash.

And when they look at me- I just say " Oh we'll export agriculture" even though I do not believe it.

I honestly have no idea why this research is making me so sad- I am writing a report on the Subsidy scenario in Nigeria AND to be honest- what I am seeing is making me so embarrassed.

Like literally- I just want to be Ghanaian or something.

And nobody wants to be Ghanaian. Even the Ghanaian do not want to be Ghanaian.

That is how embarrassed I am.