Monday, October 10, 2011

Last night a deejay...

Or rather tomorrow night a Dj would save mylife.

so my uncle is having a party tomorrow for his friend at his house,

and asked me to dj.

this isnt odd, seeing as every year i do it for all the family parties we have in the village.

AND I KILL IT YOOOO.
every single year.

simply because i know what they like/want and i've beeen doing it forever.

so i went over first to get song samples and drop my oldies playlist and i shall be running late, and i shall spend most of my tomorrrow downloading shalamar.

who or whatever shalamar is.

i dunno why family wait last minute to ask you favours.

Enough about tomorrow.

Today.

i think i am going to face disciplinary action at the club, for speeding and one way driving.

In my defense, they need to sort out their parking lot issues.

And the security didnt even report the case o.

it was one man, who had previously seen me at the gym AND offered me 100k if i was able to lose weight in 5 weeks.

( I lied to him that i had a wedding when he asked me what i was doing at the gym, and had 2 drop a dress size because i pre-ordered my dress)

and since then said man has been trying to strike up conversation.

now im not one to be rude to people trying to make conversation at the gym, i mean, we all haave a common enemy (fat) and MOST of us share the same goal( lose weight)

While the others just basically come to meet the opposite sex.

as i was saying, i dont mind people trying to start random conversations at the gym,

actually thats a lie, i have watched enough porn to know that conversations in the gym always lead to dp gangbang sessions. and shit.

so no Mr Pot bellied, my fathers age mate man, i do not want to be "your friend" or receive encouragement from you via cash to lose weight.

Anyways since i am a junior member, i wonder IF my mothe would get suspended.

im too scared to tell her.

actually seeing as i am the only one that actually goes to the damn club, she'd probably be like.

"thank God you can stop trying to lose weight now and be fat"

lol.

now onto two other things a la Simon kolawole style.

Wrecking Relationships.
I've always been unable to not tell a girl when her man is stepping out on her.
I just cant not. I feel like God wont forgive me.
I also think its unfair.

Irrespective what most girls say, they actually dont want to know.
and it just wrecks the relationships.


The mother dearest
is having her bathroom remodelled and hence has 2 share a bathroom with me.
I wont even mention how many times she has shrieked my name only for me to find out how"appalled" she is by how clustered my bath is, she cant believe that i use all these variations of black soap.
and how many times she has reminded me that i would soon marry and go to my husbands house.

is this how i plan to disgrace her? Tufia.*

so yes while i await for RIM to get their act together, i shall continue to comb the internet for cheap Blackberry 9900's.

if you know who has one for cheap. hallate your gal.








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