Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Me.

Myself and I.

i enjoy my own company a bit too much. a people irritate me a little. i have a very little tolerance for bullshit. and i am the queen of double standards.

I realised, im only friends with someone who already has a friend. or a group of friends. for instance all my close friends arent friends with each other. lol.

its amazing. they have thier own friends, and we are just friends. not best friends or anything like that.

i only belong to one group that we are all close. "my Fly family"

but that isnt the point, the point is that by doing this is have subconciously avoided the drama of many female friends.

so yes i am something like a Genius. when it comes to women, and friends and all that drama.

I am also rather evil. i am not proud of it, but there is a standard which i have st for everyone that speaks to me.
basically to be my friend or speak to me or whatever, you must do it in a way that i like and approve of, if not i wont speak to you.

i know it sounds funny, but its how life has been for a while. till i got a damn job. but all that is going to change soon.

for some reason ive been on a happy juice OD. meaning, i have been overtly happy. for no just cause.

i think i have finally come to accept me for who me is.

i know im done shrinking for anyone to shine. and i am positive there is room at the top for everyone.

and i am done trying to split my self to make anyone happy.

only you can make you happy. well and maybe a bit of champers.

but with nysc ending, im just realising all the growing up i will have to do. to say that excites me will be a lie. but when i get to that bridge, i will cross it.

i am coming into me, my strengths, weaknesses.

i am realising my confidants and my comrades and im learning to treat them as such.

i am cutting off people. i know with such a small circle, who else do i want to cut off again.

i am just living for me.

this wont make any sense to you if you havent reached this point, but when you do, and you become as happy as me. then you'll look back and say ahhhhhhhhh i seee what she was on about.

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