I love summer, the boys, the girls, the fanta babes, the extra cash, the new clothes our friends coming back will get us. *sigh* I ♥ summer.
Well Yes and No.
Well yes its summer and No, I am not going out this summer.
Why u may ask.
Simple the summer crowd is back.
Now let me explain this to you, u know how when we were younger (if u went 2 qc, u'll understand this) you just had 2 travel for summer holiday 2 get a new bag, folder, pencilcase and the likes.
Well the london people have that fever. Every Nigerian that school's outside the country feels the "inexplicable" need 2 come home 4 summer. Forget about easter. Summer is prime.
Not that the economy suffers for it, half of the Nigerians that live in Nigeria actually go 2 all these strange countries as well, so there is sort of like a balance.
Unfortunately for me, I have a Job, which means I have 2 endure summer with the fanta babes.
Ladies, You know that one friend we all have that boys like because they have totally zero morals.
Exactly she is a fanta babe. She "shares the fun"
Now imagine 1million other girls like that, without scruples flooding into lagos. *sigh*
*cue music* all the single ladies... You will be very single for a very long time. I'm just complaining on behalf of my single friends that were looking 2 get hooked up this summer. News Flash, the Lagos boys still in lagos are Rooting 4 the fanta babes.
So yes summer brings in these fanta babes.
Why are they so impossible 2 stomach? 1. There's a million of them. And 2. They aren't exactly friends with you. And trust women. Lol.
Now this really isn't my business because I have a job that gets me 2 tired 2 even look past my side miRror. 2 even notice a fanta babe.
But let me tell u my business. You see I ♥ ♥ ♥ lasgidi. I love the energy the power, the vibe the nite life, the traffic. You know all that constitutes Lagos. The people I don't care so much about.
So when I have time 2 go out, I'm super excited. I'm ready 2 let my hair down and have a good time. Like table dancing money spraying good time, this is lagos meeen!
Then u can imagine my irritation when summer comes and OUR clubs are packed with fanta babes.
Not only are they packed with them, they are also underage. Not only are they underage, they are wearing Rags. Not only are they wearing Rags, they spew forth bullshit like this" oh yeah I just came 2 the club 2 chill"
EXCUSE ME!!!! We have seen the facebook pictures of them pouting with their knee length human hair and avatar-esque looking makeup, and wat not, but we like that on facebook, not in lagos.
If you want to chill, I advise you sit at home so that a/c and blow you or better still the deep freezer. I'm sure u'll be very chill when u come out.
And my LORD the picture taking OMG. We just want 2 dance and party hard drink and go home. Not pop bottles splash them around and pose for pictures, you know we actually Drink these drinks here in Lagos. LoL. I know how odd its sounds but yes, we buy drinks and then we drink them. We don't splash them around will posing 4 pictures.
I have gone out, seen like 7 girls who came out to the club to chill, dint dance 4 a min, turned down everyguy that approached them, sat there like pillars of salt and just looked, stared the nite away, oCcasionally gossiping and giggling. Lest I forget, they were drinking water, something about being on a diet.
First. Its a club, why are u having a sex and city moment, I'm sure u can do that at home, 2. This is lagos no 1 is going 2 have ur picture taken! So stop already. 3. If u aren't going 2 dance then why are u taking up space in a club.. This isn't the country club its a flipping nite club.
I haven't been out this summer. But I was out last summer, I had finished university and I had no worries, out 2 have fun, imagine my shock when on my first night out, it was like we were at hell. Full, hot stuffy and people were just standing and looking.
Apparently its Not cool to dance. #kanyeshrug.
And I can bet a large number of the girls there hadn't even hit puberty. So parents what is ur 15 year old daughter looking for at a night club???
*sigh* I'm tired already but you get my point. Last week I was itching 2 go out, hang with my peoples and thingsss. Till after calling about 4 of my babes it occured 2 us. Its summer. We can't go anywhere. Lagos is flooded, and face it we are old cargo. Lol. We are the Naira spending people that club owners forget keep their clubs running all year round. I mean in March or April, I can actually hit the club and have a good time, not 2 full, just regular, you know... Lagos style.
But people summer is here and we must must accomodate the inflow of immigrants.
2 further buttress my point I went 2 see a movie yday. The cinema was full. AND I could spot the london people, in their tiny shorts and vests. Outrageous big hair and wat not. Actually u can spot them anywhere u go, just look out 4 the boy in bright blue skinny jeans and a red shirt with a yellow beanie or sthg close to that.
For the ladies. Look for hair, plenty of it. Make up. And always always always they are inappropriately dressed. None the less, we love the fanta babes, how else would the Naija based fanta babes stop hounding our men. Yes the jand and yankee ones would be in demand, and we all know that is a huge upgrade, from a uni-lag ho.
No BS tho. I love love love summer. And Don't even get me started on christmas.
Summer is her people.