Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hey Daddy.


that being said this has nothing to do with that usher song although i have been listening to it a lot lately. i still think his best album was and is and always be * drum roll* 8701 and i dont care what you think its my blog i talk my shiii.

so at this point i'll let you know i grew up without a daddy. well not exactly but u get my point.

my dad left when was in primary 5 and i havent seen him since then. yes my dad isnt late, i know where he is, he knows where i am, and i havent seen him.

ever since i found out his whereabouts ive been toying with the idea of going to see him. ALONE without my brother or my sister and ask him why.

see growing up it was my sister and mummy, then me and daddy. my brother was everybody baby. but my dad and i were rather close.

i get an email once in a while saying " how are you?, have a nice week" from his email adress, but i do not know if he actually sends them, its a group email like the equivalent of a forwarded BBm message.

so my Mum ( God bless her) raised my siblings and I. and i have the best of everything. trust me, she may not always be around but she takes out time to show me how much she loves me. and i love her.

now you may think its my right to be looked after by my mother, but i'll have you know that it really isnt, the bible calls a man who cant look after his family and infidel. but she didnt mind, she sold clothes, gave up holidays and God knows what else she did to make sure i had all i wanted.

my mum taught me " what you dont have you dont need"

i dont have a daddy, does this mean i do not need one??

off course all my shitty relationships/ relations with men shall be blamed on the fact that i had no guidance. i remember attending my fathers mothers 70ieth birthday at ibadan or so, and my daddy drove us ( the family and i) to and fro because my mum had to be home or something like that. and when we got home. she kissed him in the sitting room, right there in front of all of us.

this is the singular memory i have of my parents happy and married.

funny i dont remember the fights, but i know there were a lot, especially towards the end, i have blanked them from my mind.

i remember having my grand mother attend my open days in primary 6 because my mother had to go to work and my daddy had left.

two years ago if 10 men walked into a room and i had to identify my dad i wont have been able to. however now i can make a guess.

because two years ago, i met my step brother. or half brother, who happens to be older than my sister who in the last 23 or something years we believed to be my fathers first child. my half brother is really cool. he looks like my dad. alot. i used to look like my dad. now i look like my Mum. i dont understand that.

last year or so my mum took us to see our dad's father. he used to be a doctor. she ordered us not to eat anything there. lol.

we gave our phone numbers, and since then my fathers people have not let me have peace. they call religiously. it gets disgusting. and no i want no relationship with them. my siblings have all changed numbers at least 10 times each and my mother and asked them to stop calling her. so they keep calling me.

the other day my fathers sister came to the house. i dont know how she found us but she came, apprently to apologize. lol. all the cars in the compound made her very sorry i guess. once in a while she makes effort to call and what not but as i said, im not too intrested. the other day she came around and while leaving she suggested that her daughter come and spend the weekend. #screeccccchhhh i knooooooooow thats what i thought too.

her daughter is done with Uni and would need a job soon, who better to ask than their sister inlaw who they aided thier brother to abandon, cuz he was a big oil shot, back then. oh well. you win some, you lose some.

1st of january last year, my daddy called me. well not me, my mum and asked to speak to me and i think two years before that as well. he asked what school i was in and when i told him he said" isnt that too expensive, how can your mum afford that" imagine.

i wonder why men especially some husbands think once they leave, the womens lives end. probably because some women act like that. a man leaves you and you dis-intergrate. maybe thats why im hard on girls that act like thier foundations have moved. it really annoys me, because u were before he came along or maybe u werent, just get a grip. gasssssshhhh.

this post isnt about those loser girls tho. its about my daddy.

so word on the street is i have to look for him eitherways since they would have to ask him for my hand in marriage. i already asked my Cousin to give me away. my mum insists my dad should do it. well i'd rather him than the man she re-marries. innit?

oh well, daddy isnt coming home anytime soon i may as well go get him.

altho i have been told having a father is over-rated. a lot of people have advised me to let it go.. your mum is doing super good( which im totally thankful for)

but some times i want daddy, and its not just the same.

#np Hey daddy Usher.

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