At home

When people say they do not feel at home in a certain place.

I often wondered what they mean by this.

Today I had a somehow day at work.

So I went by the lovers place after. But I was just so unsettled and restless and felt so unwelcome there that I left and came to my own house.

So I sat in traffic, finally got home and found now self knocking for almost 20 minutes at the door.

Finally my sister comes to open the door but has her boyfriend in the room we share so I can't even access the room. Nor arrange my wardrobe nor change my clothes. Or really do anything.

Today. I do not feel at home. Anywhere.

I totally understand when people say, they are not at home.

I long for a place that is my own.

Mine.

Is this selfish?

Days like this. I am extremely irritated.

I want to come home and see no one. Just listen to my music and be great.

Days like this- I am reminded about how un- at home I am. Even in my own home.

And Days like this make me sad.

On the upside. I finally found a solution to my dress issue for the wedding next two weeks.

So excited!