Tuesday, July 10, 2012

On yellow

I am dark skinned.

Always have been. hopefully always will be.

If could give you a 100 reasons why I'd hate to be light skinned- Pimples would be at the top of my list.

But this isn't about me- Its about men obsessed with yellow girls.

Once I met this boy- darker than baba dudu- on the last friday of last year. My friends and I all wanted to go out, so out we went. We hooked up with a bunch of her friends, and I ended up in said boys car.

Being the Me that I am- I was polite( because he seemed like the type to tell you to get out of his car if you had an atttitude- awon "acclaimed self made men") So I jejely respected myself. Not giving green light, and being polite.

That is how when we ( the group) were seated at our table at Raddison having drinks- Mr Self made said " Lets go somewhere quiet so we can talk"

And I said " Talk about what?" *Insert attitude glance here* and I thought to myself


It doesn't pay to be polite. kini gbogbo rubbish yi now?
So I politely told this bobo that I couldn't leave my friends since I didn't drive and produced a string of excuses.

For every one excuse I had-  Mr Self Made had 3 reasons thwarting it.

So I just blurted out " I don't want to go anywhere quiet with you- I have nothing to say to you"

That is how Mr Self Made started vexing. Me, Oblivious to the fact that I left my slippers in his car, put on full attitude amour. I was consistently dishing out Ela to Mr Self Made- Loud enough so everyone could hear, but not so rude so I could pass them off as jokes ( You see, I have more than enough experience in this QC taught me well). What I did not know was that 7 months later, I still wont have set eyes on my slippers.

That is how Mr Self Made asked how he could reach me- Could he get my number? or Pin? or something. So he stretched out his phone, I looked at him and reached into my wallet handing him my complimentary card.

Call me between 8am to 5pm, those are office hours.

And Mr Self Made said- Oh you think you are so hot, with all this your attitude.
Me: * eye roll*
MSM: Oh this is how you want to be behave, and I even thought we were connecting.
Me: So because your girlfriend of 6 years broke up with you, and I said sorry- you thought we were connecting. EYAAAAHHHHHH ( or something along those lines)

Everyone on the table erupted in laughter.

My friend ( who was our friends with the boy who was his friend) nudged me as said I should stop.

Mr Self Made then leaned over the table and told, his friend in the loudest tones possible- That I think I am so beautiful, rubbish.

We all laughed because It was nothing.

I did not get my slippers that night, because I refused to enter his car to marquee. I joined my friend who drove as well.
I did not know that would be the last night I would set my eyes on my slippers.
I also did not know that would be the last time I would ever see Mr Self Made. OR my slippers
( ps: This happened way before only slaves started frequenting marquee)


So we got to marquee and in the usual fashion of these things had soo much fun- Fast forward to 4 am, my feet were killing me, then I realised I hadn't seen Mr Self Made. I walked over to the boy who knew my friend and knew Mr Self made and asked for him. His reply
" When you were doing shakara nko? he has gone home jare"

I know you think this has nothing to do with the heading but stay with me people, stay with me.

My friend was hosting some new year party at hers, and she claimed to invite Mr Self Made- So I wasn't too sad, I would get my slippers.

Mr Self Made's friend came, and told me- I would never get my slippers again, Infact he said and I quote

" He said he doesn't even know why you refused to follow him and why you were doing all that shakara, When its not as if you are even a yellow girl"

Children of God- I was stunned- Is this Baba dudu Negro actually saying he wont give me my slippers because I am not yellow enough to do shakara for him?

I was Livid. When he later called me- to find out where I was, to come and drop of my slippers. since he was on the Island
( something he did 5 days a week for the next 6 weeks- Bur somehow NEVER MANAGED TO GIVE ME MY SLIPPERS)

I told him off- for saying such a stupid thing- Mr Self Made Lied- and said Oh he didnt say it. When I told him who told me, the story changed to ah ah now, he was just playing- I am beautiful and besides he doesn't really like yellow girls.


NIGGA  STUF AND GIVE ME MY DAMN SLIPPERS.

So the moral of my story is this

Men Lie. and Men love Light skinned girls ( although NOT ALL) a good number do.
What I do not understand is this" If you like Light skinned girls- WHY ARE YOU CHATTING UP DARK SKINNED GIRLS?"

I do not understand men.

Women are crazy, Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.- George Carlin.


Fewer truer words have been spoken.

PS: Mr Self Made if you read this, I want my slippers back.

2 comments:

Alias said...

*rolling* This story has made my day.... That night at marquee was solid!!!... Now only peasants go there :-(

Ms.Oreoluwa said...

Only SLAVESSSS

Reckless

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