Another slight depression

Lately I have felt like moving out of my house. My relationship with my only sister became so strained- during lent I had a vision that there were "other forces " (demons etc etc) behind it. Because basically during lent you are hungry I assumed that it was probably my overactive imagination taking place. I am slightly worried because there may actually be other powers trying to wreck my family. 2nd my uncle turned 50 recently and my aunt delegated the aso-ebi buying to me. I honestly didn't mind until I realized that my aunts wanted me to see the clothes as well. Such a joke. And said uncle keeps reminding the world how glad he is that his daughter graduated with a 1st while his son graduated with a 2:1. I worry how terrible that shit makes mother feel if I feel this horrible. I always feel I hAve let her down, even after qualifying at 21, still doesn't feel like enough. I am seriously contemplating going back to do another bsc. Is that crazy. Because of how much weight I'm putting on. I am slightly depressed. I also can not find a school that resumes in January. I pretty much hate what my life is shaping into right now. I really really hate it. And the one person I am comfortable speaking to about all this : the lover is no where to be found. 3weeks ago, my maid went for deliverance and in the usual manner of things started manifesting. Stupid girl came home and told no one why she took forever in church. Only for half of the church to call my mother and relay the whole gist to her. *i made a mental note to attend this months vigil*. Anyhoos my mother then asks the maid what happened. The maid said " NOTHING" My mother said she just looked at her and shook her head. Her days are definitely numbered. I honestly can not wait for her to leave the house. From the on set I told my mother when she came that my spirt did not agree with her, but pride is making my mother keep her. And I worry that it will wreck her. That is also bothering me. Another thing bothering me is my sisters anger problem. It's the one reason we have never been friends- my sister does not need a reason to raise her voice and call you and your generations barren, or throw a knife at you or whatever other thing you see dramatic drug addicts do on tv. My brother also bothers me a lot, he has been pampered and spoilt by all of us and now he is lazy as fuck. I keep telling him that I am female and can afford to be lazy, but he as a man can not afford to be lazy because he is a man. He gives me a blank stare look. As if to say I am crazy for even wanting him to go to work. I feel like my mother sometimes worrying about what doesn't concern me. I think I need a holiday away from my family. Now will be a good time to be lodged in a hotel for work. Saving me fuel and giving me space. I am so mad at Lagos, all this driving to the mainland via ikorodu road is killing me. Like I am so fucking tired. God. I really need a holiday. Hear your daughters cries and touch her lovers heart so he can whisk her away to anywhere. Right now Cotonou is not even looking bad. I need to get away. I'm beginning to feel like there is no much on my plate and I shouldn't even be dealing with it. How do you handle family members that are professional takers? Why did I rush to be so grown to end up with this shit? And why won't my mother cater to my every whim like she does my siblings? Perhaps middle child syndrome is not a myth after all? Maybe I should quit whining on here,Mohave a good cry and go to bed? Sounds like a great idea. Have a great week everyone.