Strange

My father's younger brother is dead.

And he left behind 7 boys.

I don't know if I should feel bad about not being bothered.
But I'm honestly not even sad or anything.

When my mother was struggling to raise us, none of them came to even see if we dropped dead after thier brother left, but now you feel the need to keep her in the loop?

Human beings are strange.

Border line laborious

I was so bored I went on Facebook

I then saw my old notes.

My writing was border-line laborious.

So I wonder, if I became lazy. Or something else happened?

Musings

I'm tired. But I am happy.

I swear to also take part in travel arrangements next year, or when the next holiday rolls around, whichever comes 1st.

My view here is gorgeous.

On money

The disconnect between labour and reward is one of the most unbiblical manifestations of the confusion of this culture. We must teach our sons that they are expected to work, and that labour is by God’s design followed by reward. And the reward is more than money and more than material;  it is the satisfaction in a man’s heart of knowing he has done something to the glory of God.

There is the temptation for some men to say, “You know, I can see what he does.  He gets to do great things  for the glory of God, the world gets to observe him and see him in what he does, the church gets to celebrate that, but all I do is this! ”

Whatever you do, do to the glory of God……. There are no little people, there are no little places, there are no little jobs in the kingdom of God. You will never know what life you were touching by your honesty as an accountant, by your steadfastness as a police officer, by your integrity as a teacher. You will never know how the glory of God is shown until in eternity you are given a glimpse of how God worked through you.

Culled from Rust Geek  dot com

I suspect I am slowly becoming obsessed with whoever writes that blog, it must be the "Amebo" in me.

I love and live for personal blogs.( and other things OBVIOUSLY)

Rust Geek and Ani

About three nights ago, I was surfing the interwebs and stumbled upon this
First I thought, this seems like skywalker with all the big english and laborious reading.

Lord I hate laborious reading. For me, any kind of reading that requires concentration is uber laborious.

I loathe it. However, I Rust geek and Ani's blogs are laborious reads, but somehow worth it.

They tell their stories in their own  unique ways, giving insight to their various journeys.

While they aren't 1800 writes a la charlotte bronte, they have a different style that I am coming to terms with.

So Ani consider this a febble attempt at apologizing for  my religious complaining about your use of unnecessary synonyms.
Although small words wont hurt every now and then.

If Wishes were horses

I'm quitting my job.
I know how odd it sounds, I have had a love hate relationship with this job for a while now.
Although more Love than hate.
Why am I quitting? I am tired of working weekends. Infact, I am sick and tired of working ridiculous hours.
Sickening I tell you.

People ask me- What are you going to do when you quit?

Me: Sit and mope.

I want to write. and get paid for it.

I want to sleep and get paid for it.
I want to wear wedding gowns and have my picture taken.

I want to just stop and smell the flowers.

I just feel like my mother worked so hard hence I shouldn't have to work this hard. Crazy eh?

I need to apply for my schools. I need to start taking my Gmat classes.

Linda Ikeji has the worlds worst commentators ever. HIAN.
This one said this
"Why the girl face be like bone like this na? Hope say he never go score 2/10 so? Congrats bro. We dey ur side"
I do not understand Nigerians. So horrible.
Last night was my friend Oyinda's birthday and we went to this karaoke bar in Vi. It was sooooo much fun!

My mother wants me to take out my locks. :(  I was just getting very comfortable in them. *sigh* What to do? Ghana weaving? Gigantic Ghana weaving in blonde? or in Red? A la Rihanna?

My hair is sooo soft. I can't stop touching it.

Ani wrote the most beautiful post about his brother( Whose birthday it is today btw) Read it Here

So what has been going on?

I am so ecstatic Holiday in a few days! I tell you the universe hears my cries. Everytime I am at the verge of breaking down- A holiday appears around the corner ! A la band aid!

Again, What should I do to my hair? I'm Thinking Ghana weaving because it's basically get up and go hair. But I'm still terribly undecided. When will I even find time to make my hair.

In my 300level I went to see my friend who was repeating a year and her room mates friend had a book called " Mad man" by tracy groot. I started it, but was unable to finish it. Fast forward to five years later- My darling Ebuka( Thank you so much by the way- I don't thank you enough) bought it as a gift for me- as reading is the only way I get to relax.

Anyway to cut the long story short, I got to Amazon site and amazingly- The book is unavailable in my country.

So I have to wait till I go on holiday to be able to download the book onto my ipad ( which I use as a kindle- It is waaay better than logging all those books around tbh). But I mean you wait 5 years to read a book- Surely you can wait a few weeks more? No?

NO. I can not wait. I am literally in tears- because I just wanna read dammit!

Having said that, O.B.O is a satisfactory album from a 19 year old boy who succumbs to the thinking of most teenagers - money can solve anything.

Rating- 3.5/5.

That is the review that someone from the net website gave to Davido's new album.

While the Lover was so generous as to gift me with it, I doubt, I will have time to listen.

God answers prayers. I eventually caved into malaria and took a day of or maybe two days off work.

I do not know if I am a bad person- My friend said said she does not want to be friends with me anymore.

I stunned because- I have no idea why she is so upset. Like I can't understand it.

But I guess we make choices and we live with them. One less friend.

There  are no permanent enemies, there are no permanent friends.

Underneath your clothes.

Every girlfriend Every heartbreak Every one night stand. Led me to you. Drove me to you. I was made to love you. Hand to touch you Lips to kiss you Eyes to see you Arms to hold you My time to spend with you. Excerpt from Gerard's leverts' I was made to love you. The same way I'm obsessed with heart break songs, it is with a matching fervor that I love love songs. I'm not so depressed any more. I miss my Lover. He can be a sugar sometimes. *hugs self* Shakira's underneath your clothes is such a tune. I can not wait for karaoke on Friday! It's my home girls birthday soon. Remember how I needed a break from home? God answers prayers. The client is lodging the team from Wednesday till next rotting deadline. I'm actually quite glad. Work keeps me sane. I don't think I like it, but it just gets me through the motions. Something is off with me, and I can't place my finger on it. I'm open to suggestions on what it might be to shake this off. Sorry if you thought the post would be 50 shades-esque. I admit that title is a tad misleading.

Another slight depression

Lately I have felt like moving out of my house. My relationship with my only sister became so strained- during lent I had a vision that there were "other forces " (demons etc etc) behind it. Because basically during lent you are hungry I assumed that it was probably my overactive imagination taking place. I am slightly worried because there may actually be other powers trying to wreck my family. 2nd my uncle turned 50 recently and my aunt delegated the aso-ebi buying to me. I honestly didn't mind until I realized that my aunts wanted me to see the clothes as well. Such a joke. And said uncle keeps reminding the world how glad he is that his daughter graduated with a 1st while his son graduated with a 2:1. I worry how terrible that shit makes mother feel if I feel this horrible. I always feel I hAve let her down, even after qualifying at 21, still doesn't feel like enough. I am seriously contemplating going back to do another bsc. Is that crazy. Because of how much weight I'm putting on. I am slightly depressed. I also can not find a school that resumes in January. I pretty much hate what my life is shaping into right now. I really really hate it. And the one person I am comfortable speaking to about all this : the lover is no where to be found. 3weeks ago, my maid went for deliverance and in the usual manner of things started manifesting. Stupid girl came home and told no one why she took forever in church. Only for half of the church to call my mother and relay the whole gist to her. *i made a mental note to attend this months vigil*. Anyhoos my mother then asks the maid what happened. The maid said " NOTHING" My mother said she just looked at her and shook her head. Her days are definitely numbered. I honestly can not wait for her to leave the house. From the on set I told my mother when she came that my spirt did not agree with her, but pride is making my mother keep her. And I worry that it will wreck her. That is also bothering me. Another thing bothering me is my sisters anger problem. It's the one reason we have never been friends- my sister does not need a reason to raise her voice and call you and your generations barren, or throw a knife at you or whatever other thing you see dramatic drug addicts do on tv. My brother also bothers me a lot, he has been pampered and spoilt by all of us and now he is lazy as fuck. I keep telling him that I am female and can afford to be lazy, but he as a man can not afford to be lazy because he is a man. He gives me a blank stare look. As if to say I am crazy for even wanting him to go to work. I feel like my mother sometimes worrying about what doesn't concern me. I think I need a holiday away from my family. Now will be a good time to be lodged in a hotel for work. Saving me fuel and giving me space. I am so mad at Lagos, all this driving to the mainland via ikorodu road is killing me. Like I am so fucking tired. God. I really need a holiday. Hear your daughters cries and touch her lovers heart so he can whisk her away to anywhere. Right now Cotonou is not even looking bad. I need to get away. I'm beginning to feel like there is no much on my plate and I shouldn't even be dealing with it. How do you handle family members that are professional takers? Why did I rush to be so grown to end up with this shit? And why won't my mother cater to my every whim like she does my siblings? Perhaps middle child syndrome is not a myth after all? Maybe I should quit whining on here,Mohave a good cry and go to bed? Sounds like a great idea. Have a great week everyone.

C V writing and all other mundane shit

To be honest I hate to write about myself.

So only naturally CV writing has been put onto the back burner.
So today I decided to write my CV. I just realised how much work experience I have. Lord, I have no space. I'd hate to have 3 pages, but at the same time- I'd hate to have to drop out work experience.

Anyways thats that.

I want to see snow white & the hunts man.
Dear holly wood- Mirror Mirror wasn't that a snow white spin off? two in one year? or rather in the span of 8 Months? Not that I'm complaining all I'm saying is that GDC needs to stop putting it on their flier if it isn't showing you know?

On yellow

I am dark skinned.

Always have been. hopefully always will be.

If could give you a 100 reasons why I'd hate to be light skinned- Pimples would be at the top of my list.

But this isn't about me- Its about men obsessed with yellow girls.

Once I met this boy- darker than baba dudu- on the last friday of last year. My friends and I all wanted to go out, so out we went. We hooked up with a bunch of her friends, and I ended up in said boys car.

Being the Me that I am- I was polite( because he seemed like the type to tell you to get out of his car if you had an atttitude- awon "acclaimed self made men") So I jejely respected myself. Not giving green light, and being polite.

That is how when we ( the group) were seated at our table at Raddison having drinks- Mr Self made said " Lets go somewhere quiet so we can talk"

And I said " Talk about what?" *Insert attitude glance here* and I thought to myself


It doesn't pay to be polite. kini gbogbo rubbish yi now?
So I politely told this bobo that I couldn't leave my friends since I didn't drive and produced a string of excuses.

For every one excuse I had-  Mr Self Made had 3 reasons thwarting it.

So I just blurted out " I don't want to go anywhere quiet with you- I have nothing to say to you"

That is how Mr Self Made started vexing. Me, Oblivious to the fact that I left my slippers in his car, put on full attitude amour. I was consistently dishing out Ela to Mr Self Made- Loud enough so everyone could hear, but not so rude so I could pass them off as jokes ( You see, I have more than enough experience in this QC taught me well). What I did not know was that 7 months later, I still wont have set eyes on my slippers.

That is how Mr Self Made asked how he could reach me- Could he get my number? or Pin? or something. So he stretched out his phone, I looked at him and reached into my wallet handing him my complimentary card.

Call me between 8am to 5pm, those are office hours.

And Mr Self Made said- Oh you think you are so hot, with all this your attitude.
Me: * eye roll*
MSM: Oh this is how you want to be behave, and I even thought we were connecting.
Me: So because your girlfriend of 6 years broke up with you, and I said sorry- you thought we were connecting. EYAAAAHHHHHH ( or something along those lines)

Everyone on the table erupted in laughter.

My friend ( who was our friends with the boy who was his friend) nudged me as said I should stop.

Mr Self Made then leaned over the table and told, his friend in the loudest tones possible- That I think I am so beautiful, rubbish.

We all laughed because It was nothing.

I did not get my slippers that night, because I refused to enter his car to marquee. I joined my friend who drove as well.
I did not know that would be the last night I would set my eyes on my slippers.
I also did not know that would be the last time I would ever see Mr Self Made. OR my slippers
( ps: This happened way before only slaves started frequenting marquee)


So we got to marquee and in the usual fashion of these things had soo much fun- Fast forward to 4 am, my feet were killing me, then I realised I hadn't seen Mr Self Made. I walked over to the boy who knew my friend and knew Mr Self made and asked for him. His reply
" When you were doing shakara nko? he has gone home jare"

I know you think this has nothing to do with the heading but stay with me people, stay with me.

My friend was hosting some new year party at hers, and she claimed to invite Mr Self Made- So I wasn't too sad, I would get my slippers.

Mr Self Made's friend came, and told me- I would never get my slippers again, Infact he said and I quote

" He said he doesn't even know why you refused to follow him and why you were doing all that shakara, When its not as if you are even a yellow girl"

Children of God- I was stunned- Is this Baba dudu Negro actually saying he wont give me my slippers because I am not yellow enough to do shakara for him?

I was Livid. When he later called me- to find out where I was, to come and drop of my slippers. since he was on the Island
( something he did 5 days a week for the next 6 weeks- Bur somehow NEVER MANAGED TO GIVE ME MY SLIPPERS)

I told him off- for saying such a stupid thing- Mr Self Made Lied- and said Oh he didnt say it. When I told him who told me, the story changed to ah ah now, he was just playing- I am beautiful and besides he doesn't really like yellow girls.


NIGGA  STUF AND GIVE ME MY DAMN SLIPPERS.

So the moral of my story is this

Men Lie. and Men love Light skinned girls ( although NOT ALL) a good number do.
What I do not understand is this" If you like Light skinned girls- WHY ARE YOU CHATTING UP DARK SKINNED GIRLS?"

I do not understand men.

Women are crazy, Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.- George Carlin.


Fewer truer words have been spoken.

PS: Mr Self Made if you read this, I want my slippers back.

I found this in my blog archives- sometime in early 2010 I blogged it.
I have been reading all my old posts- I was so confident that the world belonged to me.
9-5 employment has chipped away at that confidence. In reality however
the world belongs to yoruba ass kissers in employment- Thats  what no one tells you when you are in University. Hiss

 Whenever we need to make a very important decision it is best to trust our instincts, because reason usually tries to remove us from our dream, saying that the time is not yet right. Reason is afraid of defeat, but intuition enjoys life and its challenges. ~ paulo cohelo.


The boy was walking to buy bread when the mayor of the city crossed the street. 

‘The reason he is so powerful, is because, he’s made pact with the devil,’ a very devout woman in the street told the boy, and he was intrigued.

Some time later, when travelling to another town, the boy saw a beautiful corn field. He asked who was he owner as soon as he arrived at his destination

‘All this land belongs to the same man. I’d say the Devil had a hand in that.’ – answered one of the villagers. 

Later the same day, a beautiful woman walked past the boy. A priest also saw her and said aloud:

‘That woman is in the services of Satan!’ 

From then on, the boy decide to seek the Devil out. One day he managed to see him face to face. 

‘They say you can make people powerful, rich, and beautiful.’

‘To be totally honest, this is not true’ replied the Devil. ‘You have just been listening to the views of those who are trying to promote me.’


I read the above story and thought wow. I want everyone who reads my blog to read this. And hence I blogged it. Altho I am working on something FantastiC for my next post and no its not my opinion on internet hook ups just yet. :)

SOS

If there is anyone out there, who lives in Ikoyi and wants to work out in the mornings
-I'm open to jogging, aerobics, Ikoyi club gym. Please get at me.

I need my fitness mojo back.

Thanks and God bless

oh and this my 301st post. :)

Not like I have been saying anything serious on here but 300?

Pow! I feel like a spartan!

Cravings

While Mr Lover and I kicked off his birthday with some birthday S......oup.
No literally- We had sweet corn chicken soup at two am from that wretched mosquito infested prime chinese.

#sidebar : Prime chinese is the most wretched wretched wretched restaurant in the whole of lagos- However if you are unfortunate like me to crave chicken corn soup at 2am- Prime Chinese is the spot for you.

So after soup we slept off but only after the tennis match ended.

Birthday day, Birthday boy and I headed out to Cafe Royal for breakfast in pyjamas and rubber slippers.

after which we went to Lagos Island market to pick up a few things.

#sidebar : My mother called him when we were at the market. And later complained that I was a bad girl for taking him to the market on  his birthday. and I'm like- Mother please. 

Went to get the food, and small chops and had to go home to shower and get ready for the party.
8pm I show up with my home girl Oyinkan and everyone is like- where have you been?

We have been waiting for you- yada yada yada. long story short- It was an amazing night. People came over to show love- and there was food.

Does it get better than that? Yes

Mr and Mrs Black ( who are becoming my most favourite couple in the world) bought the lover this delish Ice-cream cake from chocolate royale.

Purrfect Purrfect day I tell you.

Whats even more perfect? the fact that he was happy.

This even further gives weight to my conclusion that men lie.

Subconsciously sef.

The Lover was always saying- Oh I dont want anything for my birthday, Dont buy me any present,
dont get food, no small chops. LIARRRRRRRRRRRR

Because he did not tell me not to get the rice & he sure as hell did not say Oh you know what?

Forget about this small chops.

He freaking bought glasses and cups for his party.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he was bi-polar.

LOL. but thats that. Party over. and back to regular scheduled programming.

A month ago while I was stuck in my rut, my friend got attacked my robbers

and I did not go to see him.- Which was a pretty horrible thing to do.

But I was just so overwhelmed. Anyway I still feel so horrible about it. I have no idea if I will ever go

past doing stuff like that.

I'm a pretty decent friend so I hate when I fall short.

Something else happened to me this last month- You have no friends when it comes to money.

All you need to do to find out who will be there for you is to utter the words- I'm broke, and people will scramble faster than * insert fast metaphor here*

I was hurt. to say the least. And I'm one of those people that always looks out for my friends

so imagine my shock when no one could "borrow" me money.

Its a horrible way to find out all the sayings about money and friends/people are just sayings

they are actually true.

I even asked someone I speak to and the person said" If you cant explain to me what you want the money for, then I can not give it to you"

and I'm like really? Would you like me to draw up a 5year plan with that explanation of what I want the money for?


Anyways I'm past that now. I needed the money to start a business from one of my hobbies - Zobo making, I wanted to buy off some sealing machine from someone who used to be in the business as well as other accessories. Unfortunately, I wanted to do this in the very month of the lovers birthday- And your's truly did not save.


But I'm past that now. I did not buy the machine and I would not be turning my hobby into a business on the side-  at least not yet.


I'm Craving sweet corn soup. I need to learn how to make it and save myself all the money I spend trying to sate my craving.

Pregnant

and craving sweet corn soup.

I feel pregnant. and sick.

So I googled the recipe for chinese sweet corn soup.

I will find myself at ying yang tonight buying sweet corn soup.

I am tired.

Growth

Hello.

I just prepared three accounts- with the cashflows, 3 year  financial summary, balance sheet. profit and loss account. notes, supplementary information AND a value added statement.

Yes I hate my job, BUT I love how much I have learnt/ am learning over the past 18months I've been here.

I know this is such a small deal. But I never even thought I'd be here able to do this- Even in Uni I couldn't prepare a cash flow from a TB of 5 lines.

I am obscenely proud of myself.

The Lover's first birthday present arrives today.

We are all so excited!

So Last night, Liz told her husband- Mr Black the celebrity photographer, how beautiful I am. He then asked to see my pictures.

When he was done he said it me " your job doesn't do you justice, everytime I see you, you are tired, worn out and looking stressed. Seeing your pictures, I can only imagine the girl your man fell in love with. Stop letting yourself go like this, life can not be that serious"

I like when people I don't even know look out for me.

Its nice to know that even when your friends are not near- God is always near sending angles like Mr Black over.

However- I took Mr Black seriously and decided to wear some make up, a brooch and do move my jillian back to my iPad and attempt to work out regularly.

Hopefully I would be faithful.

Here is a picture of what I'd like to look like in 5 months.

How I intend to measure this- The repair of third mainland bridge.

LOL. July- November. Jokers.

Half year report

It is with a heavy heart I write this post. I have been putting off for some time now, simply because

I FAILED!

I'm coming to terms with this, both resolutions I had for the year I couldn't keep.

I am yet to send in my applications for school.

* I'm disgusted at myself for this one- especially as I've actually finished writing the damn essays*

I have just refused to apply. I can not understand it.

2. I have no lost weight. Well I lost weight and dropped to 67kg.

But in my bouts of depression, I slacked off- Stopped working out and running at night and jumping rope and started eating late.

not surprisingly I stepped on the scale and taddaaaaaaa 70.9kg.

To be honest I was secretly glad. 3kg is not as much.:)

So yes, while there was a major decrease and then an increase. the overall effect is a decrease. But it is not enough to give me a pass.

So now that I have that nastiness out of the way- Guess who worked all week last week?

I did- This is the reason why I'm unable to do personal stuff I really want to do.

Like learn how to play the piano. Or perfect my best breast stroke. ( yes I realise how sexual that sounds)

But one of my newest resolutions is to try as much as possible to NOT work weekends.

I'm too young to work weekends/ not have a life. I intend to start going to swim every morning at 6am, but the lagos rains, would not let me be great.

Horrible.

I can not wait for the weekend. 1. The Lover's birthday is in 5days. *insert shriek here*

I'm always so excited!

2. I know what to give him. *Insert Louder scream*

The Lover's baby brother and I are off to see a movie tonight. Totally impromtu. I love the relationship that I have with them. we all adore each other. More on their side. They call me their sister. They are so adorable.

However I worry that my family doesnt have that relationship with them. But whatevz!