I know this might sound like I am a little ungrateful wench but can the men stop coming at me now?!
Every damn place. And I am like - BUT I do not even like you.
I do not want to get to know you, and I hate to be rude.[ Sometimes].
Anyway on the off chance that I actually do meet someone who I might feel I may possibly be interested in [ side bar this happens too]
I just die when they ask me about me.
I might need to make an actual blog post about me.
Likes, dislikes. appropriate jokes. inappropriate comments to make.
Things I love - shoppinggggg [ seeing as it's all I did today- lol]
Things I really really Love- HOLIDAYYYINGGGG [ which I can not get enough off since I am in paid employment]
How I am really the shit [ I discovered this when I wa strying to update my linkedin account- for real].
How I know I am the shit- Because my mummy told me so.
How men who worry I would emasculate them amuse me - only because I have waaaaay more age approprite things to do with my time.
How I need someone to update my linkedin account for me.
How when my nails are on point [ most times by the way]- I feel my life is on point.
I pretty much feel like my life is on track so you better be trying to add value.
And how I love phone calls- but I am never 100% on the phone so do not take it personal- multi-taskers are us!
and How I am a cheapskate. [ In the grand scheme of things].
But because these are the basics and I can not over load you at one - not for fear that you would run away, because lets face it, you are lucky you are getting face time BUT it is just too much of me for you.
So if you are trying to get to know me- know this.
I am fun loving. and witty and 6 feet tall [ which is good because everyone loves a tall girl] but do not ask me if I model because I don't and I do not play any sport.
And I have a job- which I think I like- sometimes.
And I'm a bit unorthodox in my ways.
How could I forget- I DO NOT DRINK alcohol.
yes even wine.
I am close to my mother.
My nails are really nice- I already know; so save your compliments on them.
I have a lot of plans. so to get along with me you need to be flexible.
I go with the flow alot- except when it comes to sex.
Which I would not elaborate on here because you know [ my mother might get bored one day - highly unlikely - and do a google search on me and etc etc].
I would offer to pay for food you eat. It is nothing; I am just aware of how everyone needs spare cash.
I live within my means ALOT.
I like presents- giving and receiving. I hate flowers, I'd rather you give me cash.
Finally I am pretty much a big deal.
So there like a way I can critically structure the above points to come across like I mean well, without sounding like a diva ( which I would admit to be sometimes) and just fast track all that getting to know you without wasting all your time.
Because with this august rush I am experiencing- It feels like all yall sperm quality is dropping and you'd think as a woman I would be the one in a hurry.
Anyway- I already froze some eggs so aint shit. LOL JK.
OMG do you guys know the most awkward thing?
when I lie that I would call a person[ which I do a lot], I make a show of collecting cards, numbers, home adresses, work numbers promise to text before I call etc etc etc when I have ZERO plans/intentions to ever call.
Then I randomly run into the person I lied to that I would call.
And then I am forced to tell the truth because I am so over telling lies to people I can not be bothered about.
This happened to me two weeks ago and the next thing my tooth started hurting - side eye to yoruba boys and their which craft mothers.
Because I know one of yall put a hex on me.
Regarding my extraction site ( in my mouth - thank you very much); I went into the dentist again to irrigate and suction out the site - more crying ( shamefully I admit) but I left there with stronger meds which I already over dose on.
And this extraction really freaked me out because I actually liked going to the dentist.
Like I have 4 fillings. one extraction prior to this, one root canal and 4 s and p's annually.
As I said- I love the dentist. ALOT.
Regarding the state of my teeth. Let us blame Yakubu. who I feel I have blogged about but I will check and tell yall the whole story.
back to doing not a damn thing.
ps- I could not be bothered to proof read. All typo's are courtesy co-codamol which makes me hella woozy.