Thursday, August 7, 2014

On self evaluation

There is this thing I read somewhere about how people judge other people by a different standard from them selves.

Eg- One has a mutual friend who starts dating another friend's ex.; one is livid and judgemental and call said friend a whore and other unsavory names and cuts the friend off.

Two years later, one is in a similar situation but isn't a whore. One simply does not choose who one fall's in love with.

I have looked around its pretty much human nature.

For the most part I [ wonder how] have managed to skip this.

I do not know if I am a permanent pessimist or somehow managed to not end up like this but

BUT; somehow I think I might judge myself by harder standards than I do with other people.

Because I mean, other people are *rolls eyes* other people and I am me.

I might have a mini self elevation situation.

But that is neither here nor there.

Lately I have been getting compliments that throw me off.

Not the usual compliments that I already know about but the weird ones.

Like how I have beautiful skin.

- side bar; I honestly do not even think in any world my skin is close to beautiful. best case scenario; my skin is passable under the dim club light as one shade.

First time was when I got a hammam scrub - [ which i do not recommend as the girl scrubbed me so hard; I bruised and I still have scars to show] , the lady asked that I do not lighten my skin as it is so beautiful and etc etc , I figured she is supposed to tell that to everyone who she works on and stuff.

Anyways second time I got this compliment was in greece; But I just said, probably oyibo that hasnt seen black skin before and doesn't know anything.

Fast forward to going to the dermatologist for my spotty condition[ which was diagnosed as Pityriasis Rosea- I do not think I ever mentioned it]; and begged him to give me a "depigmentation cream" for my heavy spots [ Leopard status and shit], and he said your skin is so beautiful give it a year the spots will fade.

And in my mind, I'm like Uncle Doctor- I do not own long sleeved clothes- how am I gonna roll about town like this?

Anyways most recent and notable I went to a mutal friend's bach eve[ do not even ask] over the weekend and I met someone who sat next to me and said - Your skin is so beautiful.

I looked at him like - huh?

And he said, I am sure you get that a lot.

I was so flustered, I just said thank you.

I honestly refused to believe this last compliment because a Yoruba boy said it and all.

But he really went on and on.

So dear skin, did you just wake up after years of stressing me out [ acne, easy to scar and hard to fade] and decide to become glow-ly?

Do you not need to send me a memo so I can respond appropriately to my compliments in Ore- Like fashion?

Instead of mumbling thanks and getting flustered?

Anyways that is that-  Work is long and stress but Value adding and bill paying

My nails are performing at maximum capacity and my yansh length braids grossed me 99 likes on instagram..

I say this- at the risk of daring the universe to screw me over -but right now Life is GOOD.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend.

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