Tuesday, April 22, 2014

On starting from the Beginning.

I was fortunate to spend sometime with my Aunt over the holiday,

Please read spend time as - cook , clean and carry out as much manual labor as possible.

JK- Just cooking jollof rice and shit for easter monday lunch.

And along the line, she shared with me one of the most profound truths I had stumbled across in my overwhelming surge of unsolicited marital advice from every body who finds out I am 25.

She said the problem with marrying a poor man, is that he will always be poor in your eyes.

My aunt was one of the few women who was fortunate to marry for love along with support from her spiritual guardian*, And has somehow managed to stay married. Happily for the most part of it.

And so when she volunteers information, A part of me is inclined to listen.

Apparently, when you marry for love and the man has nothing, when he eventually has something, you are so used to covering up for him ( another Nigerian thing where everything good that happens in your life is ascribed to your husband), and looking out for everybody that, when he does not need it anymore- you cant stop.

And apparently, it is belittling.

I have stopped trying to understand men. but it seems like they have found a way to eat their cake and have it. ALL OF IT DAMMIT.

You are broke, and your bae can provide for you. but once you can do it she needs to FOH and if she doesnt, you take your hard earned cash to splurge on charity**.

And as she spoke to me I smiled, because I decided that maybe I should not focus on marriage so much anymore.

Although she has managed to remain happy and married, I see how her husband treats her, with so much love and respect and deference,  It is such a beauty to watch.

Except my aunt is so hung up in her head she can only see that young man who was broke and could only offer her love. and now he can offer her more than love, it tweaks the status quo. AND  she is not ready.

Which begs the question, is any one ever ready for changes in relationships???

It always feels like you wake up and every thing has changed.

Over the weekend, I spent time with men who I had just stopped friends with for some reason, pulled back from because I could be a crazy bitch sometimes.  And mostly because I was a busy bee.

LOL but I spent the evening with my friend B- Not like J and B. Just B.

Who claims he will kill me if I blog about his current relationship status- Dont worry  B I am dead for you. I wont tell.

And It was a good evening.

Easter sunday was spent with my BBG ( Baby girl) Uloh and an amazing games night. Which I co-hosted and then ran into Lolly Cakes( who happens to be best friends with my ex- boyfriend)


So we can comfortably call this weekend, that of past lives or loves.

It was a good holiday asides the fact that I had to work all weekend.

Neither here nor there, thats what life is.

I find it amusing how much attention I'm getting from younger men.

I feel like someone has placed a post it on my back that reads - MILF.

I also think I have gotten over my love for men. and I might be a borderline lesbian.

LOL which is amusing because I am lowkey obsessed with the female body, but never like sexually, mostly scientifically- so I am surprised at the subtle change.

Anyhoos- I hope your weekend was good and everyone is having an amazing first day back at work and all that Jazz.

Also something I wanted so badly came to pass.

Oh so Badly. I really wanted it. and God gave me.

TESTIMONY TIMEEEEEE!

Maybe next week.

* Nigerians are obsessed with having a * insert collective noun for pastor/prophetesses*  of pastors. for all the enemies, real and imagined.

** PLease read charity as aristo girls.

Ps: I did not proof read and attempt to make any logical sense so all typo's and shit syntax's you see, I am wholly responsible for.

:)

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