Wednesday, April 16, 2014

On meeting ridiculous beauty standards

And the benefits they allude to you.

If allude is the wrong word- chuck it up to trying to sound intelligent.

I have an ass.

Everyone has an ass.

But I have somehow- By no feat of mine managed to grow a rather rump with loots of Junk in the trunk.

However, that is neither here nor there.

Let me give you the best example of what attaining these beauty/body standards will do to you.

My client's because of the likehood of a conflict of interest are usually not supposed to fratanize with us.

side bar- three years ago, one of my italian clients asked me to pop into his house to pick sthg up.

I ran it by my then audit senior who looked at me like I was mental.

He was like- you want to quickly "pop into xyz*'s house for what? I hope you havent run mad?"

Me- err I already said I'm coming.

Him- tell him no. and do not ever ever ever think of such madness.

me- meekly, Okay.

Then I did not realize that most men are animals- and there is no point playing with fire.


Back to today.

Being the only woman on my audit team ( Noticed I said woman and not female)

I automatically assume the role of welfare officer/food  provider/ general running around-er.

Long story short I usually organise breakfast and lunch for the rest of my team, which totally compirises of

One male manager, and One staff (who I plan to work to death) Hellooooo Senior status!

Anyways that is neither here nor there.

At the food place, I saw one of my clients who has been overtly friendly.

I'm trying to pay for everyone's food and he says- Please allow me.

And I'm like- err no

This kind man was like- I gat this.

I let him " gat" it.

Then realized my skirt was too tight and my ass looked wayy to spectacular.


Basically- an ass like mine will get you free food.

And since I just discovered this, Guess who will only wear midi pencil skirts?

Me.

I love awoof so damn much.

Work seems to be crawling and the fact that I am going to work over the holiday but makes me so sad.

Abuja- fun things to do please- Maybe wonderland?

but these bomblasts have me so scary?

1 comment:

Quaggar said...

Post a pic of said ass pls... face needn't show. lol.

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