Moving here might have been the best thing for me.
I am changing yet some how remaining the same.
And I might have just turned into a closet * insert inappropriate word here* whatever that means.
And I LOVE EETTT.
I know how strange this might sound but I am absolutely selfless. Like- Before I did anything I would consider all parties involved. and stoffs
But now- I am learning that its okay to like only what I like- Which is good because I have never really been a main streamer type of person.
But now I am comfortable with it- Now I do not even consider 2nd opinions when shopping. when previously I would have sent photo's and what not when my indecisiveness got the better of me.
Now I just pick an item and move on. Sorry Stylists I think I might have found what works for me.
I find it easier to forgive myself.
Even after my 1st peter 5:8 yesterday. I will went and spazzed on the ass of the human that offended me.
And I do not feel sad/bad or like it has taken anything away from my struggle to be a better person.
I think in essence- I am learning to fall and stand up as gracefully as possibly while keeping it moving.
I have been to the gym only twice this month. And I do not feel so bad.
I had an accident ( minor) on my left leg ( I swear my left leg is just going for most scars on my body)
So I couldnt work out and I am not sad. :)
I think I am finally at that place where when they ask- I can say " Im fine" and its an honest answer that suffices.
I am taking love from whoever wants to give it. Motives do not concern me. I was so worried about changing for the longest time that I struggled to remain the same.
But I am changed. And when I look back I try to find the point where I changed. I can not. I find that it occurred over a series of events- while I struggled to remain the same I was changing. My subconcious, My body, My ideals, My values everything was just waiting for my conscious self to catch up.
And Like merging of two souls- seamless.- Actually two souls merging is everything but seamless in reality even though theory makes it seem that way.
But you catch my drift.
All of a sudden I know that everything would be okay. - If God says so then it will be.