Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Changing yet remaining the same.

Moving here might have been the best thing for me.

I am changing yet some how remaining the same.

And I might have just turned into a closet * insert inappropriate word here* whatever that means.

And I LOVE EETTT.

I know how strange this might sound but I am absolutely selfless. Like- Before I did anything I would consider all parties involved. and stoffs

But now- I am learning that its okay to like only what I like- Which is good because I have never really been a main streamer type of person.

But now I am comfortable with it- Now I do not even consider 2nd opinions when shopping. when previously I would have sent photo's and what not when my indecisiveness got the better of me.

Now I just pick an item and move on. Sorry Stylists I think I might have found what works for me.

I find it easier to forgive myself.

Even after my 1st peter 5:8 yesterday. I will went and spazzed on the ass of the human that offended me.

And I do not feel sad/bad or like it has taken anything away from my struggle to be a better person.

I think in essence- I am learning to fall and stand up as gracefully as possibly while keeping it moving.

I have been to the gym only twice this month. And I do not feel so bad.

I had an accident ( minor) on my left leg ( I swear my left leg is just going for most scars on my body)

So I couldnt work out and I am not sad. :)

I think I am finally at that place where when they ask- I can say " Im fine" and its an honest answer that suffices.

I am taking love from whoever wants to give it. Motives do not concern me. I was so worried about changing for the longest time that I struggled to remain the same.

But I am changed. And when I look back I try to find the point where I changed. I can not. I find that it occurred over a series of events- while I struggled to remain the same I was changing. My subconcious, My body, My ideals, My values everything was just waiting for my conscious self  to catch up.

And Like merging of two souls- seamless.- Actually two souls merging is everything but seamless in reality even though theory makes it seem that way.

But you catch my drift.

All of a sudden I know that everything would be okay. - If God says so then  it will be.


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