When I was still employed, my firm had an event at oriental hotel in Lekki.
Because I was unassigned, I was asked to come and be a welcome girl- I was like urgh
But my manager and senior manager said I should go, so I did.
Anyway at the event one of the Directors at the firm- Lets call him R ended up sitting beside me and we ended up having a nice conversation about everything.
and like a moth drawn to flame, He asked me when I was getting married.
I said Oh I do not know there is so much I want to do, I do not want to get married and not be able to live my life.
He said " that only happens because women marry the wrong men who do not support their dreams"
He then went on to tell me about how when he got home last night his kids were awake, so he decided to bath them and then put them to bed.
Where was your wife? I asked. His reply both amused me and gave me hope.
He said she was in the room, reading a book.
So I'm thinking after working those horrible hours at the firm you go home to bath your kids while your wife is awake and reading a book?
And I asked him- She let you bath the kids while she was awake, why hadn't she even bath them before you came home?
His reply stunned me: She was tired and needed to rest. I never get to see the kids, so I was thankful for the opportunity to bath them and play with them.
Me: But after this long day at work were you not tired?
Him: Yes, But my wife does it all the time and she never complains for her to have said she was tired, she deserves a break.
I just filed away that conversation thinking well thats nice.
Fast forward to this year I was at my uncle's place in Londres before I came to scotland and his wife is renovating a house she bought, because she is the general contractor/suppliers provider/ general overseer, she does so much running around, its unimaginable. And I know because I stupidly agreeded to follow her around one day ( I was so tired mid day I feel asleep on the floor)
Anyways I can only imagine how tired she must have been because we came home like at 9pm and her hsuband was sitting there waiting for her to make his dinner.
My aunty just went straight to bed.
My Uncle whinned and complained and made such a huge fuss about it and kept saying how her 1st job is her family and every other thing is secondary.
I was like- Pause. This woman has been on her feet all day. you came home by six and every night she makes food for you- This one night why did you not pity her and make food for her.
He said- It is not his responsibility to make food for his wife.
My Director has been married for maybe 5 years to a Doctor. and My Uncle who is an oncologist is married to a business woman and has been for over 20 years.Their views are so different, but if there is anything I can take away from it is this- your relationship or marriage can be how you want it to be. It depends on the two parties involved and how they want to handle their business.
Now in the last 24 hours I have been happy. Why- I have started working out.
And It just occurred to me that a great deal of my happiness is directly related to how I feel about what my body looks like.
So Gym runs and healthier eating for me.
No resolutions to watch my weight or whatever- I just want a tighter mid riff and to be physically fit. During todays Zumba class I almost passed out. twice. I was literally seeing stars. One Indian girl was so kind to lend me her bottle to get water from the dispenser.
Huge respect to the dancers- So much energy.