Monday, July 22, 2013

Holy Water and Toll gate Charity


Since I somewhat sneaked into town I have had to apologize repeatedly to everyone over and over and over again and it is getting tiresome.

Anyways that is not what I want to talk about.

On Sunday my cousin had a thanksgiving in her church so I went with my mother. It was a catholic church and oh such a long service.

Anyway we arrived on time settled down. danced to the front during the thanksgiving and as I reached the altar. * splash* water touched me.

Haba I thought, the roof can not possibly be leaking now.

Alas- It was the priest sprinkling water on us.

So in my haste to avoid another splash I mistakenly turned left while my seat was on the right side.

And as I turned to the left * splash* right in the middle of my modestly exposed cleavage.

I kept going till my mother nudged me that I was in the wrong direction.

Quickly I did a 180 degree turn hoping I could avoid another splash while attempting to turn right.

No such luck.

*splash* AGAIN as I was attempting to avoid the splashes. I just gave up. and when the next splash touched me I did not even wince again.

( In retrospect, my so called modest cleavage might have been immodest for a catholic church and hence all the many splashes of water).

Drenched in the holiness of holy water I made my way back to my seat and waited for church to end.

After church I went to the reception and had uncountable amounts of puff puff because I was the chosen one annointed to oversee the distribution of small chops.

Abuse of power is inevitable when one is in charge of small chops. Like one is not even aware as they stuff themselves with puff puff instead of the little plastic plates in the tray.

Anyways after obviously packing take away puff puff.

I went home. There My maid decided to dissapear after church and so I was on kitchen duty for a while.

A while meaning 2 hrs- as I had to recook the stew, and vegetable. fry plantain and cook rice for my mothers guests.

#slightwork # dearfuturehusbandIamreadyforyounow

Anyways I went to lekki to see my friend and I had one N200 note and one N20 note.

Paid my toll to go through to lekki and collected my N100 change.

We had drinks at the Beehive ( Dear Beyonce, you should totally have your stans sue)

and it is this " crepery" - I swear the word is written on the menu there.

After drinks- I had to go back home through the toll because there was no way I was putting my new car through alternative route at 10pm on sunday night.

Fastforward to the toll gate- I just told the ticket man that I forgot I did not have cash and do they take cards?

After almost no pleading- They let me go.

That Holy water must be powerful!


Also I was out on friday But this post is long enough as it is. I will tell you people how Lagos teaches you np be wary of awoof but not to look a gift horse in its mouth at the same damn time.

Once you have struck this balance- you will be a proper lagos girl.

But later I will tell the story of friday night.


Okay. Have a good week

1 comment:

Lekan Adio said...

haha!! Love the title,and the article especially the church scene.

Lets talk about sex baybee

So guys. I have been having the most delicious sex of my life. With the absolute worst person I can even ever imagine. Like if this is...