Baby Mama Drama?

Would you marry a man that already had kids?

Yes? No? Maybe?

Last night an acquaintance was telling me about how his baby mama is a wicked person and cant cook and etc and etc.

And I said but you lived with her, you planned to marry her- now she is a witch*. because she got pregnant.

He said no- he always knew she was a witch but it became very prominent when he hit hard times and she said she must go to america to have the child and she became a nusiance. and etc etc etc.

And Then he said he was even contemplating asking her to abort the pregnancy at 8 months.

But his new girl is so kind and loving and wants to take the child into their home. Home boy said he is proposing to her on her birthday AND will do registry marriage before the year runs out.

And I'm Like oh gosh- because she wants your son?

Inherently I might not be the one whose moral compass always points north but im sure I am not morally bankrupt.

I do not see how to raise my husbands first  son that is not mine and be comfortable.

What if my own kids come and then I start to discriminate against the other child- what then?

I think marriage is hard enough without adding baby mama drama- with a witch.

Then what if the woman refuses to give my husband the child? He will now be going to see the child in her house and next thing she is pregnant again.

Like- I can not even understand the logic.

Obviously children are a gift from God- and Maybe when I find the person I think I want to spend the rest of my life with and I am oh so in love- that the love may transcend to his child- maybe just maybe I might consider contemplating marrying a man with a child and a difficult baby mama.

soooo Yay or Nay to baby mama's?

* witch here does not depict an actual witch, just a generally wicked person who might be acting like a witch. LOL

Ps: This is obviously the abridged version.

How not to cheat.

http://www.singleblackmale.org/2013/07/29/how-not-to-cheat-a-5-step-tutorial/

That article is gold. Although it left out a very very very important factor. Self discipline.

People who lack self discipline will ALWAYS  go out and cheat- Not because they want to hurt you and destroy themselves in the process but because they are selfish and lack the self will to do the right thing.

That aside- I want to really really really point out that people do not even know what other people are going through.

I heard a story recently that chilled me to my bones- and made me realise how ungrateful I have been about everything I have.

This story had me feeling so low that I have been unable to shop- or even go to the sites. And yall know how hard it is for me NOT to shop. That is how shook I was.

People have real problems- and it is until you settle down and take out time to listen to other people's story- that you will know that what you think is wrong with you is nothing.

There is the story about people in a village who kept complaining about all their problems. The wise king then asked everyone to come to the village square and put their problems in a basket and then take their neighbors own since they felt their problems were too terrible.

Villagers appeared, and by the time everyone had displayed their problems. Everybody in the village was calm. Picked up the problems they came with and went back home grateful.

And I think that is how many of us are in life- The inherent need to compare yourself or to hate your problems and wish you had someone elses problems.

Till you hear their problems and you are like dayyyummmm son!

Anyways I have started my school work- PRAISE THE LORD! Amen!

little foxes.

Friday was my brothers graduation.

Thing is - we already knew the school had brain touch, but it is a good school.

However that day, they locked the gate and had everyone either walk quite a distance OR take a paid shuttle bus which was not even frequent.

We opted to walk in the sun. and My mother complained bitterly all the way.

To be fair, it is a good school but its these little things that take away from how good it is.

Things like this are the little foxes that spoil the vineyard full of tender grapes.

And it had me thinking- what are the little little things I do that take away from the general good that I do.

They are quite a few.

And I realise that irrespective of how big your good deed is- the little foxes are equally destructive.

Do not allow anything take away from your good deeds/ name/acts.

Be wary of the little foxes that spoil the yard.

Meanwhile i have concluded that I am going to learn how to sew. I am so fucking tired of people, actually tailors giving me grief- I mean it can not be that hard right?

Well I will find somewhere to go and learn the basics and then come back. and perfect it abeg.

LOL.

I was chosen to be an usher for my office's AGM which took place today.

And let me just say experience OF LAIVEEE. Yes I spelt Life as LAIVEE.

Oh gosh. So many things happened.

From the men who wanted to take me home. To the one who wanted to be my friend. To the man who was getting mad because there were no more seats to this good looking Nigga who kept checking for me. ( AND I will talk about later)

It was sha an experience.

LOL turns out  my radar is NOT off and that good looking Negro ran into me when I got back to the office AND asked me to stop by his office before I leave- Not happening abeg.

Aint nobody got time for office romance.

In more interesting news- Its Eneni's Birthday. Eneni is my friend who has become my sister and has managed to make her family my family and vice versa. And I love her oh so dearly. So please help me send out good wishes to her today and always!

Plus she is having a party today. Parties are my forte! I am so tired and I am yet to start writing my papersssss! Oh Gosh.

Did I tell you guys Lekan's birthday was this week and he did not tell me.

Also did I telll you guys that Lekan helped me to interpret my regression for the paper in which I got an A and the course work was 70%.

Did I tell you people how upset I was?

Lekan. KO DA!!! it is not good.

that aside please send him good wishes.

Ps: Everyday in my office it is someone's birthday- Hence SMALL CHOPS!
So I say this with authority that Laredo's small chops did not TRY AT ALL,

Okay guys. Bye.

Insincerity

Sometimes I can see through people.

Almost like they are bathing in windex.

I'm learning to let people tell their lies.

Especially when I know the truth.

Holy Water and Toll gate Charity

Greetings!

Since I somewhat sneaked into town I have had to apologize repeatedly to everyone over and over and over again and it is getting tiresome.

Anyways that is not what I want to talk about.

On Sunday my cousin had a thanksgiving in her church so I went with my mother. It was a catholic church and oh such a long service.

Anyway we arrived on time settled down. danced to the front during the thanksgiving and as I reached the altar. * splash* water touched me.

Haba I thought, the roof can not possibly be leaking now.

Alas- It was the priest sprinkling water on us.

So in my haste to avoid another splash I mistakenly turned left while my seat was on the right side.

And as I turned to the left * splash* right in the middle of my modestly exposed cleavage.

I kept going till my mother nudged me that I was in the wrong direction.

Quickly I did a 180 degree turn hoping I could avoid another splash while attempting to turn right.

No such luck.

*splash* AGAIN as I was attempting to avoid the splashes. I just gave up. and when the next splash touched me I did not even wince again.

( In retrospect, my so called modest cleavage might have been immodest for a catholic church and hence all the many splashes of water).

Drenched in the holiness of holy water I made my way back to my seat and waited for church to end.

After church I went to the reception and had uncountable amounts of puff puff because I was the chosen one annointed to oversee the distribution of small chops.

Abuse of power is inevitable when one is in charge of small chops. Like one is not even aware as they stuff themselves with puff puff instead of the little plastic plates in the tray.

Anyways after obviously packing take away puff puff.

I went home. There My maid decided to dissapear after church and so I was on kitchen duty for a while.

A while meaning 2 hrs- as I had to recook the stew, and vegetable. fry plantain and cook rice for my mothers guests.

#slightwork # dearfuturehusbandIamreadyforyounow

Anyways I went to lekki to see my friend and I had one N200 note and one N20 note.

Paid my toll to go through to lekki and collected my N100 change.

We had drinks at the Beehive ( Dear Beyonce, you should totally have your stans sue)

and it is this " crepery" - I swear the word is written on the menu there.

After drinks- I had to go back home through the toll because there was no way I was putting my new car through alternative route at 10pm on sunday night.


Fastforward to the toll gate- I just told the ticket man that I forgot I did not have cash and do they take cards?

After almost no pleading- They let me go.

That Holy water must be powerful!

:)))))))


Also I was out on friday But this post is long enough as it is. I will tell you people how Lagos teaches you np be wary of awoof but not to look a gift horse in its mouth at the same damn time.

Once you have struck this balance- you will be a proper lagos girl.

But later I will tell the story of friday night.

I AM YET TO START MY PAPER!!!! PRAY FOR ME GUYS! PRAY!

Okay. Have a good week everyone.xxx

Fridays are the best days.

Soooooooooooo as you guys know. I'm home for my internship as let us just say it has been an extra 2 weeks.

But today is Friday! yay!

contrary to popular belief, Lagos has not changed. The weather is nice- Its not hot and its not as wet as the rumors insinuated.

Its almost as cool as Dundee. LOL JK.

So what has been up with me?

I got another A. *squeal* that means I have 3 A's and one B right now.

I am ECSTATIC!

I do not think I have gone after something so viciously ever before. Maybe my Ican.

Anyhoos. I have been so chilled dealing with work and lagos traffic ( which might have morphed into a beast)

ANNNNDDDDDDD I got a new car. Since my mother gave out my old one. *squeal* I am not complaining AT ALL!

She is the best mother in the world you guys!

Work is Work. I actually I like it. Its nothing like school work. but I have an idea of what I am going to base my internship on.

Offcourse since I sneaked into town. Everyone is a bit upset- They will be fine. Trust me.

I spent my lunch hour buying alcohol for tonight. My friends are coming into town from Abuja so I am super excited!

LOL!

I find that in Lagos- I have become a better person. It was not evident enough in dundee because I mean it was  tabular raza. But here- I am thankful for the grace of God on my life.

And more importantly, for friends that stick closer than siblings.

Really and truly, Blood shed on the battle field is thicker than water of the womb.

Your friends are the family you choose. So Yes to new friends. Old friends and most importantly

Good friends.

#np Jaiye Jaiye.

Bathrooms

I am obsessed with clean bathrooms.

I find that since I lived alone, It is physically impossible to shower in a dirty bathroom.

It is why, I have added that to the list of things I use to judge people.

Plates in their kitchen AND how dirty their bathrooms are.

So you can understand why when I went to my uncle's house to spend the night before heading for the airport- I did not shower the night before.

The next morning however- I had stripped down ready to shower and I put on foot into the shower- and I looked down.

It was not really dirty- But it was dirty enough for me.

I jumped out- Naked- ran to the where the cleaning agents were kept.

grabbed some.

ran back to the shower.

Bent over, my big bum bum in the air

furiously scrubbing away at the filth.

Without a care in the world but the yearning for a clean bathroom.

And this is how my 21 one year old male cousin -who I forgot was at home and heard all the ruckus with my running around - damn those london houses and the wood floors- came and found me.

Naked. ass in the air, washing the guest bathroom.

Modesty

Apparently- I am immodest.

At least that is what people ( my friends here and family say)

- none of that out of the mouth of two and three the truth is established story abeg.

For instance- My friend was telling me about how she did not really want to take photos at a wedding because she did not feel she was looking her best/ on point. And she said - shey you get?

And I said - err nope.( I never even attend events even remotely thinking I am not looking on point/ putting my best foot forward.)

And she said urgh I wonder why I even asked you- I knew you would say no.

Last week while we were studying my friend F, asked me so urm how is studying going, I replied- quite good actually you know finance is kinda like my bitch, I have little to do really.

Then she said- I need to come and make a speech at your wedding- I will start off by saying, I really hate Ore, I do not know anyone as immodest as her. LOL

and we all started laughing.

Today my uncle called me to enquire about my exam and I said - Oh it was fine.
then he said- so that means you will pass.

And I replied * insert eye roll* offcourse I will pass. The issue is how well I will pass, I am tired of B's abeg I want an A.

He said - a little humility please. LOL and we both started laughing.

I admit- I do nothing by halves.

Over time I have garnered a  healthy amount of self confidence ( probably an over dose) from certain things- school work results, looks, nails, taste in music and most recently my person in Christ Jesus.

And I know you would not believe me BUT I was not one of those people who as born confident. Honestly I must have suffered from middle child syndrome.

I always had my face in a book- frowning- Which I still do but now I smile and even LOL when reading but that is besides the point.

What happened a class of 80 11-12-13 year olds. Queens college refined me.

It was literally a DOG EAT DOG world. I honed my verbal skills and gradually became comfortable enough in my own skin ( I mean then I did not know it obviously- hindsight being 20/20 and all that). I picked my friends and gradually could not be bothered about any one else's opinions.

Personally, I learnt to take things less personally.

And I honestly honestly honestly think that that single one thing- is where my confidence emanated from.

The lack of paying excess attention to what people say. Probably why I picked up that dirty habit of gossiping ( WHICH I am struggling to drop now) I mean I just thought you can talk about me, I do not care what you say- why should you care what I say. Kinda reasoning.


Anyways fastforward to 10-12 years later. Its  kind of not okay to be confident any more.

Now people want you to shrink so everyone can be comfortable.

And not feel to left behind.

I would honestly have assumed that seeing someone shine- would only light up a fire in you to want to do better. you know be better and not bitter.

Generally speaking of course.

Over the years I have become that person who  people ask to not " come and over shine" or not to speak to boys they like because they don't want stories. And I honestly respect that.

But what I need to point out here - at the risk of sounding overtly conceited- is that I am NOT the prettiest flower in the bouquet.

( although I might be the brightest crayon in the box- toot toot) LOL

But I have never ever found it to be an issue.
You know so I find it strange when people get all comparative and live their lives like a who wore it best magazine column.

Off course I get pangs of jealousy now and then but they are so few and far between that I can dismiss them when they show up.

I guess the koko of this post to understand why I am the way I am. I guess. A lot of my posts are about me finding out about myself etc etc.

meanwhile I hate that I am changing. ( I know I said I had changed and completed full circle and yada yada yada)

But I am not a truly selfish person. - Conceited maybe- But not selfish. In fact I can put myself on the selfless train. Because Its another place I draw peace to balance out the confidence in my life from.

The ability to just basically fix things or help people. and listen and be there and brainstorm with people and offer solutions and help people pick out aso-ebi styles and link up business owners to prospective customers and introduce girls to my various wretched tailors

You know that is who I am. And I'd hate to not be that person anymore. To become passive aggressive and be unwilling to be there. I honestly believe that is my talent. To help people and bend backwards for people ( sometimes) and for random trips to lagos market or whatever.


Anyways I get peace from helping people. Like I do not even care if people do not want to help me- they probably cant anyways.

( see what I mean about not taking it personal)

okay post over.

Ps: Meanwhile... People who say things like you can never have too many shoes, I have a question for you.

What do you do with these shoes when you have only baggage allowance of 2 23kg bags and BA is not even being friendly about excess luggage?

Pss: I did not proof read so all grammatical errors are mine.