Hellurrrrr

Finally I can blog the iPad

I have soooooo much to talk about.

1st I finally found the bracelet the lover gave me- but it cut.

2nd I found it after I cleaned my room.

3rd I'm so fucking excited about my new neighbors

4th Best of luck to Asake tomorrow.

Fuck this shit. Lemming use my laptop to blog.

Just for the record, this device is very hard to use .

Oh I intend to go to the gym 3 times week and swim once a week.

new look AGAIN!!

i am feeling the black and white theme going on.

No greys up in this bitch.

ok thats a lie, between black and white, lie a thousand shades of grey.

However, the blue reminds me of blue biro.

ps: people who stay in the grey areas in moral issues, have the hottest part of hell awaiting them.

Theme looks too fresh and clean.

Unlike my life right now. its a mess.

and by life i mean room.

I need minions. and plenty of them. and soon.

My client just told me Audit work is not for beauty queens.

While i am not a beauty queen, i agree. this shit drains you.

hence my need for minions.

Back to pressure of execl sheets. im supposed to pull out today!

the truth

i believe Nigerians are settlers.

After trawling the internet instead of working... whatever sue me.

I found another piece that proves my point.

Nigeria’s current predicament is the result of the constant promotion and elevation of mediocrity. Every time a corrupt, non-performing public official is given a free pass because he is ‘our son’, every time a contract is awarded to the least capable bidder because of patronage, every time ‘federal character’, ‘zoning’, or ‘rotation’ is used to smuggle in clueless individuals, this nation sinks a little deeper.

The bar for what is regarded as ‘good’ or ‘excellent’ in our society has been lowered to an alarming extent. It is everywhere: in our music, our movies, our sports, mediocrity is accepted and promoted. The same things we tolerate in our politics, are the same things we tolerate in our aspects of our national life.

Nigeria is a nation of rationalisers, ‘toleraters’ and ‘managers’.- Joachim MacEbong.

you can read the rest of the post here

http://jmacebong.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/the-triumph-of-mediocrity/

or better still hos whole blog here

http://jmacebong.wordpress.com/

pss. this doesnt mean i this wordpress is a good blog interface.

ok.

bye.

Homosexuality.

and 4 other things.

not having a bathroom sucks.

what sucks even more, is forgetting you dont have one.

and even more than forgetting is the fact you have to wake up extra early since you are sharing.

too annoying.

BUT im thankful there is a roof over my head.

i really should stop complaining about petty things, makes me seem ungrateful.

and i am grateful.

Anyways on my way out, i saw an article that caught my eye on sunday's paper so i grabbed it

and decided i would read it in traffic.

this bit totally defines my stand on it.

"I have no capacity or justification to hate anybody because he is gay or she is lesbian. After all, am I a better human being simply because I’m not gay? Is sexuality the only standard by which men and women shall be judged? If I’m not gay but do not love my neighbour, does that make me a better human being? Is homosexuality the only thing God hates? Does God love lying, deceit, cheating, stealing, backbiting, treachery, pride, etc etc?"- Simon Kolawole.

you can read the whole article here

http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/homosexuals-and-the-rest-of-us/102127/

OMG.. I'm just gonna blog this

now we all know the lover is a little diva.

this isnt news.

we were supposed 2 do "couple stuff" ala see a movie, or have dinner.

or something totally unhealthy for my waist line.

but i was running late because i went to see my aunt.

so he called me, and i said oh im coming straight from here

and he says, oh please go home and buy some things for me.

na so nigga start to list, one item, 2nd item, 3rd item.

but the one item that pushed me to tweet how spoilt he was,

was when he said "oh please and toothpaste"

but lets forget that his office is next to tej.

and there are people that sell this stuff around his office.

or that there is a major supermarket down his road.

lets pay no mind to this.

he then further went on to say " oh he wants foreign toothpaste"

and preferably something herbal.

and im like- isnt your mouth nigerian?

so since i am one of those people that travel and over buy shit like toothpaste and sure from super drug and boots and alll that. i just went home to get the "foreign toothpaste"

na so i enter house say make i just sharply visit white house.

na so i open the door.

children of the most high. there was nothing in my bathroom.

like it had been stripped naked.

there were no tiles on the wall. only concrete.

and i was like oooommmmmgheeeeeee. im just gonna blog about this.

so i know i live with my mother, who owns the house, but how would you just strip my bathroom naked.

without notice. what if i came home to nack and we needed to shower?

na under tank get us be that- abi no be so.

i was so mad.

my mum had her bathroom remodeled and she loved it so much she wanted to do mine.

on the condition that we split the cost, and im like - tainz my old one still werks fine.

because i am an alaroro.

so im sure she felt the best way was too to it without my approval.

i am also very burnt because if i protest, she would ask me to take this as incentive to move into my own husbands house.

anyways thats how in my hungry and immensly upset state, i decided to continue the journey to the lovers' to go and do "couples stuff"*

he called me and said i should meet him at 1g4.

and i did.

he said he had a business meeting, only to get here, and i saw a couple of his business partners,

seated, playing fifa 12.

the lover whispered only 2games.

fast forward to 2 hours and one chinese order from marocaine, im still here

watching them play fifa 12.

im not even mad anymore.

im just hungry.

ps- couples stuff is not a reference to cotius.

Godiva, Sallah meat at 4am

The lover is the reason i am fat today.

and its the truth. from day one when i met him. that was his aim.

To fatten me up so nobody would look at me again.

but ASKO. IT DID NOT WORK!!

anyways that is besides the point.

I went over to his last night, and somehow ended up sleeping over.

*side bar- i swear that shit is getting outta hand, i say to my self, lemmie sleep for 30mins

and POW, I WAKE UP AND ITS FUCKING 3AM!!!!

and you know the irritating part, Nigga would probably be up watching TV.

I dont know what that says about the typa sleeper that i am.

But that is not why we are here.

So lastnight, since We are now both trying to lose weight,

WE decided we would have ONE sharwama for dinner.

*another sidebar.

I dunno about you but sharing sharwama is HARD!!!

Its difficulty can be compared to * insert insanely hard metaphor here*

such as-

Its difficulty can be compared to shooting a HD video with a Black berry curve 2 that doesnt have flash.

-exactly its fucking impossible.

But you know what they say, you cant lose weight, if you stay eating the same way you gained weight.

so I bought the said sharwama and forgot it in my car. And remembered when i got to his.

so While we were watching Alpha- he fell asleep.

Being the over skilled monkey that i am. - I sharply ate half.

And stop judging me.

i think the smell woke him up, so i lied it had finished. and he proceeded to open the Godiva.

* i swear last side bar.

the first sheet you see when you open that box, is the Nutrition fact sheet. in black and white, as if its practically jumping at you.

i would spare you the deets, but basically a serving is 200 calories.

now thats the good part.

this is the great part- a serving consists of about 3 pieces.

ARE THESE GUYS FUCKING KIDDING?

THERE ARE 36 FUCKING PIECES IN THE BOX.

but that didnt stop us tho.

which is really sad, because we are probably gonna be a fat couple till we both tie our teeth or something equally as melo dramatic.

and 4 to 5 other things.

1. Nershy's crush hasnt called me with the Sallah meat he promised to bring to work for me.

2. I am accepting donations to my Buy me moscato fund- BTW i dont appreciate TOLA saying i made her an alcoholic. making it sound like i put a gun to her head- but to be fair, i am pretty persuasive when it comes to alcohol. ask the Lover. before he could stand Rose wine, but now- Nigga is hooked.

3. so i went to Lagos Market and found the lace. AT *insert drumroll here* 7k. yes so said lady intended to make 13k on a piece. My mother was livid. I dont blame her. i cant stand people jobbing me. especially family.

4. Today is Oneki's birthday. I love her muchos, growing up she practically raised us. She sued to let me go to parties and shit.

5. at 4am this morning, the lover and I ate all the sallah meat i forgot at his over the weekend. along with some more Godiva.( i took only one piece) but he gobbled everything up.- Afterall he that is down need fear no fall. Me on the other hand. I still have hope.

6. I know i said 4 or 5. BUT i need to know what is wrong with Men giving women money? you see the problem with women is that we are our own enemies. Fine you dont want your boyfriend giving you money, park in your lane, but instead you are abusing the girl that is demanding what she wants, and getting it, calling her hungry and what not- WHEN IN REALITY YOU SEF YOU WANT THE SAME THING. talking about, OH i dont wanna ask, but if you give me i will take.

Matt 7:7 Ask and it shall be given unto you.

Even God knows the importance of asking, but instead be there simmering in bitterness. na you know.

anyways im #teamtakemoneyfromyoman #teamnevergodutch and most importantly.

#team10%istoofuckingsmall.

So how was your sallah break? was it Ace?

Did you whore for meat?

Or did you come to work like lil ol me?

ps: i just realised how dirty " did you whore for meat sounded".

Sallah and Random things.

I dont know where to start from.

And i dont want to bore you people with insanely long posts.

but yah Eid mubarak. to all my moslem readers.

I finally got around going to visit my Lovers mother, Hadnt seen her since April. gosh.

Anyways we watched xfactor USA and yabbed everybody we felt like yabbing.

and it was good bonding time.

I miss that, before the lover moved out, we used to chill a lot together. :(

psss: the longer i stay looking at these dresses on ASOS.com, the more i rationalize aristo in my head. lol jk. but ASOS delivers to Nigeria now. the devil is a liar. i will remain strong!!!!

I knew him moving was a bad idea.

2nd. Shout out to my friend who finally got what she wanted. I am glad.

3rd. Swift is a shit network.

4. I came home yday night only to find my mother buying lace. thats how i got roped in. and now im buying lace, that im not even wearing. smh

5. My other car came back from the mechanics place today. LAWWWWWDY!

the lover is def in my good books for this.

6. Although he broke my bottle of moscato and im a lirru Mad at him. but still...

7. i recommend the bare foot brand of moscato for my wine drinkers. it has become my new kryptonite along side moi moi.

8. I just spent almost 40 mins downloading this song- hold me MJ , free willy sound track.

9. im itching to go karaoking. even tho i doubt my voice box has recovered from the last attempt we had. it was still fun.

10. the ipad. is probably the shittiest gadget ever. I so totally do not need it. urgh. Android ftw.

but dont take my word on that, im the most technically inept person i know. smh

11. This ghana weaving that was my highest last week. don dey rough. urgh.

12. i ran into someone that grew up in the same estate as i did. i told him i wanted to move back, he thought i was insane. :(

13. My lover is usually a big baby. but when he is sick. nah men, i cant deal, NIgga just becomes a diva. refusing to eat and throwing tantrums and shit. Half the time its amusing. but today, it was irritating. mildly. but still annoying, in that" Does this boy think im his mother typa way"

14. SOOOOOOOO Oc* and i had a mini convo via text today. it was funny cuz my girl said he was attempting to set P, via sallah meat. anyways he offered to bring the meat to work for me on wednesday.

15. FRSC stopped me today to ask for fire extinguisher and C- caution. I swear im going to kill my driver- nigga will be requesting new seat covers and floor mats, meanwhile there is no C-Caution in the car. too annoying. and then FRSC said they would write me a ticket. and im like hiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. ticket Kwa? maka gini? mschewww. in my mind obv. i just smiled as asked if they would need to take the car as well.

they sha released me.

16. I miss my baby brother. he is my go to guy for everything electronic mayne.

17. im entering lagos market with Oneki tomorrow. *fingers crossed*

18. TOLA!!!! I NEED THOSE IPOD SPEAKERS. thanks.

or i would just steal your own. jejely.

ps: oc = office crush of Nershy. who happens to have a mega crush on me. but i try not to fan the flames- although i have her blessings. but he fineeee, like a ticket on the dash.

pss: song im totally feeling MJ's "hold me" free willy sound track.

Im feeling extra vulnerable right now, somebody hold me

:((((