Thankful

i have too much to be thankful for.

i didn't grow up rich. i grew up well below comfortable.

when my parents split. my mother was a house wife, unemployed with 3 kids to look after.

only the lord in heaven could have looked after us. and he did.

he truly looks after his own.

today or rather last week, i had 2 sort out clothes to give out. because i own too many clothes.

i remember when we did not have enough clothes.

there is just so much to be thankful for.

there is this yoruba saying- that someone would take away your mat, not knowing that god is bringing you a rug.

off course my yoruba is poor.

as at last week, i decided to not buy anything i do not need.

luckily for me im not a buyer, but i even need to stop taking stuff from people i dont need.

and i need to be a giver as well.

im adding this to my new years resolution this year.

i mean i have suitcases of stuff i havent even worn.

this is not who i am.

Shopping, Cheating and Gratitude

shopping.

today i went shopping with the lover. i like that he saw how hard market runs was. at least now before he opens his mouth 2 make noise he would calm down.

i also hated his attitude towards the sellers. always dashing them money after we had agreed a certain price. they ended up calling me mummy ijebu.

cheating.

would i leave my husband if he cheated on me?

no.

my boyfriend- maybe, most likely. 85€€ percent sure the answer is yes.

however if i found out my husband 2 be got jiggy with someone night before the wedding.

i'd ask him 2 take the aids/hiv test. if he is negative. we'll go ahead with it.

if not- sorry to all those who bought and sewed aso-ebi.- because i am going to sell.

gratitude.

my last post, i was lamenting about how growing up was hard and all that.

my lord in heaven was listening to me.

and he provided.

and i am thankful.

he really does look after his own.

growing up

growing up is probably the hardest thing ever.

especially financially.

once you start working, you just find that everything is different.

and by every thing, i mean every single thing.

and this is not good for someone like me.

my sisters birthday is in a weeks time,

so i decided to buy her a full head of human hair. you know as her birthday present.

this is costing me x naira. ( and x is very high)

so i went 2 see my friend- who has practically become family today and i found out

she is getting married.

i mean, i knew but i didnt know it was that soon.

so now im torn between booking a ticket or buying my sisters present.

my sister is away from home so im sure it would have made her smile.

but my friend said i must not miss her wedding.

and trust me to be in this financial fix.

offcourse i told my mum. she said i should go by road. :(

and its a destination wedding. lol

its actually at balyesa.

i used to be able 2 manage money a lot better than this.

im not pleased with being in this tight corner.

i am actually almost crying. lol.

i amuse myself. sometimes. *sigh*

music

i confess i am a slacker.

lets blame this job that enables me to carry last like there is no tomorrow.

anyways here i am watching trace.

and a couple of songs caught my fancy

- move like jagger- i absolute adore maroon 5 and anything they churn out. along with xtina and that powerful voice with her platinum blond hair, dark eyeliner and stick your thingy in my mouth red lipstick.

anyways i would def be downloading this song.

- it aint my fault- ltido ft bankyw.

im all for supporting my nigerian acts, but i need to point out to both of these artistes that nigerian girls dont follow boys that wear hoodies in the club. especially if thier men just took them shopping and bought then a diamond neck lace. or maybe its just me. video had that trying 2 hard feel.

i just cant get enough- bep.

i heart fergie and that her voice that is obviously tweaked with auto tune. i'd like her 2 redo this song again when bep split up. or sorry when they take a break to pursue thier individual albums.

extra points because it was shot in japan. i love it!!!

sans the outfits and the last verse. definately gonna download it.

finally

wiz khalifa- no sleeping.

im not a fan of wiz. negro is too skinny and his skin looks like ankara. because im not one to judge i wont include the fact that he is trying 2 wife a ho among the reasons i dont like him.

but just like roll up- which i refused 2 listen to because i strong believed it had 2 do with weed- i still do. but when i did hear it at the club. i rushed to download it. and i actually really really really really like/liked it.

still one of the highest played songs on my itunes after obianuju.

but no sleeping?

amazing. i like it. sort of reminds me of what i want my next birthday to be like- everything free and everybody getting thier party on.

i may just end up buying this album in traffic- dont judge me.

anyways nepa took lite so thats that.

Damaged Goods?

personally i believe older men. i.e. 35 and above with no hope/form of partners are damaged goods.

why are women avoiding you so? ehn that you would be chasing girls 15yrs younger?

anyways that is besides the point.

i was in such a foul mood today so i went 2 visit my home girl funlolly.

funtimes- and major amebo- if you know me in real life. you'd know im not a slacker in that dept.

i need to quit sha- im getting to old.

anyways we sha gisted until she said sthg that i have noticed.

children from broken homes are so "cynical"

i admit i see a picture of a happy family and i sneer like why is the father holding the mothers hand?

i hear someone's boyfriend cheated on them, and i sneer and say- dont beat your self up over it. all of them are the same.

i have subconciously agreed to the fact that

there are no marriages- happy marriages.

only 2 people managing each other.

bear in mind that i am in a "thingy" and i am very comitted to the lover.

but somehow i just think the only people happy in marriages, are women with rich husbands that are well looked after, and widows. oh and women that are avid church workers.

i want to get married- but i think being from a broken home

has really screwed up that whole marriage thing for me.

i am in love with my lover sha.

but as for marriage.

i worry.

that children from broken home are damaged goods.

and i worry that marriage is a lot different than its made out to seem.

series of unfortunate events

my lover never gives me anything.

well anything that really matters to me.

so last year- we crossed like a major treshold in our thingy( i hate that word relationship)

to celebrate this. he gave me this bracelet.

that his mother gave him. and he had had it foreverrrrrr

and he never ever ever took it off.

anyways, he gave me and i promised not to lose it.

sometime before my last trip it broke. and i went to play kissy face with him

and he was upset i even took it off. so i had 2 explain that it broke and im trying 2 get 2 a goldsmith and all that jazz.

so that was cool. i got back home sat and i didnt find it on my dressing table.

so i asked the maid, she said she saw it but didnt touch it.

and that is how i tore my room apart.

and i cant find the bracelet.

and what is worse - he is so calm about it.

needless to say. im soooo upset. i feel like smashing something.

Unhappy

Today is the 1st of September.

wake me up when September ends somebody.

I am unhappy away from home.

i know at this age no one is supposed to falling home sick- but i am home sick.

and terribly so too.

i miss my Mommy. :(

but i may be going home soon. so i think i quite happy about that.

I also miss the Lover.

I think sleeping alone takes a toll on me. :(

One of the reasons i cant wait to get married - is having some one in my bed every night.

i think i'm still a little afraid of the dark.

Well other reasons i cant wait also include

- having someone to cream my back- hard to reach areas

- having someone to dote on.

-having someone elses money to spend. :)

and always having someone to talk too till i fall asleep.

offcourse these are my reasons- asides all the other regular recreation reasons and blah blah

funny i dont think Love is as important in marriage as people make it out to seem.

like love pays bills.

anyways i miss the Lover.

i have no idea how i am going to cope when i leave for my masters.

which should have been this month.

smh at my procastinating self.

i feel berra already.

the Girl on the rhythm fm in Abuja- her faux accent is probably the reason she will die a spinster.

yes its that horrible.

Anyways my manager is coming today!!!!!!

something to drink to.