The mistake i made.

that serves as a reminder. when dealing with boys.

REWIND.
four years ago, i was in a relationship. that was a waste of time.

PLAY.
to day i want to revisit that relationshipo and what it means and meant to me.

first i settled.
yes he did not derserve me, i mean you know when someone deserves you. this boy did not deserve me. and i knew this without him sliping up.

second.
his mother hated me. ladies, if his mother dosent like you, and you are not intrested in kissing ass to an igbo woman, dont bother. blood pressure at a young age is not cute. and trust me, mothers od boyfriends= blood pressure. all the time. except off course you are as evil as some people i know.

third.
i let the gifts carry me away. and i know many of you will berate me. but whatever, he was dating me and buying me gifts. and i was taking.
my mother said its rude to reject stuff. and it is very bad to be rude.

fourth.
i walked outta there an even worse person than i was when i met him. i cannot say i am a better person as a result of having him in my life. infact i can relate him to the effect my Uni had on me. kinda like a waste of my freaking time.

anyways thats all asides the point.

REWIND.
last holiday i had, i was supposed to be gone for eight weeks. 4 in america, 2 in london, 1 in paris and 1 in either milan or spain. boyfriend dearest said it was too much time to be away from him and cried and cried and cried about he was gonna be a lone and what not. so like a good girlfriend i gave up the paris and milain journey. i love fashion, but mother said those were the only two i could forfeit. so my fab 8 weeekshoilday turned into 6.

i am not complaining. he came to meet me at the airport and what not. so at the airport, there was this boy that had been giving me the eye. turns out my brother knew him. as did i. when my brother was in his former secondary school. ( in Nigeria its kinda ok to switch kids from school to school). he was the owner of the phone i used to call my brother on.

this boy was mentally undressing me with his eyes and soon we got talking.really talking. and off course like the good girlfriend, i was quick to inform Zer.( lets call him that) that i was in a long term relationship and what not. anyways.Zer wasnt to bothered.

since he liked me, we hung out a lot. he kept telling me" you knoe your man is cheating on you right?" and im like nahh he is straight.

and he said" leave him for me". me : *side eye*. leave me jo. and thats how we went on and on.

he met my mum, took me shopping. i met his mum, she loved me. like totally LOVED me. ( and knowing how hard it is to get a yoruba woman to like you, this was manna from heaven) anyways i kept saying nooo. even though my body wa saying yes!!

so i went to london 2 continue my holiday, and Zer never stopped calling me. infact he became very sure he wanted me.
so sure he wanted 2 see me before he came home for christmas.

so he intvited me to see him.

by now i was alone, bored and broke in london. everything was routine.
but i had a boyfriend. see i was goin to be faithful. so i told Zer that america was to far. and told him off, thinking he'll be mad.

next day this convo took place.

***PHONE RINGING***
Z: hey babe.
P: hey im sorry 4 screaming at u yday, i was just about...
Z: Paris. come to Paris, America is too far come to paris.
** thinking**: ewo one chance!!! all these yankee boys sef. shebi they cant vex ni, ahn ahn after i sparked for him yday he still wants to see me.
P: errr
Z: i know we both have schengen visas.
P: err but i said i wasnt going.
( i told him i was supposed 2 go 2 paris but changed my mind last min, i didnt want 2 be away to long from my babycakes, in my defence it was a 13hr flight and we were seated next to eachother)
Z: i know you wanna go, i know you have a bboyfriend that you want to marry, but i just want to see you.
P: sweets its a lot more complicated that than.
Z: i know you like me, just come, paris is about 40 mins away. its not to far.i'll have you back in two days.
P: im sorry i cant. not that i dont want to, i just cant.

***thinking*** shit see this hot hot nice young man, who wants to spoil me in the city of love and im here saying no. na wa, i have a boyfriend.

and i know your thinking nothing goes for nothing abi?? well i had worked all that out. "the red robot"

so ZER and i kept in touch. he came home last christmas, hell bent on marrying me, but that is another story.

so after buying babycakes heaven and earth and remaining faithful and passing up on Zer, i get back to hear the wonderful news: he got someone else pg in my absence.

lol, ok i kid, he was screwing some other "people". when i found out, i calmly asked him. he didnt deny it.
and since i ahd already given him his stuff and my birthday was around the corner, i said...whatever i'll stay. so i stayed. and those were the best 2 months onf my almost 2 yr relationship.

i was just bidding time till my birthday, and since he was trying to get back in my good books, i just let him keep trying.

on my birthday i was at the hospital and he didnt call or show up. 2 weeks later i got my gift. what i wanted. so i wasnt bothered.

3days after my friend Bobo took me to see, our friend.. who is now my lover.
he used to be a former flame, but we fell out and blah blah blah.
he had been trying to see me, and i kept giving him that " i have a boyfriend line"

well i didnt have a boyfriend anymore so i said whatever i'll come see you with my friend. what i didnt tell him was that my friend was a boy. but that is another story.

i wasnt going to snooze on this one. besides he had been chasing me forever. plus do you know how hard it is not to find me? like we both lived on the island, had the same circle of friends and i avoided him like a plauge. but then i had a boyfriend...

well christmas came and babycakes said we werent dating anymore. i said ok. but we remained friends.

Freinds: the ex that became my personal driver, and choclate cake buyer, and what not. he also got me something really cute for christmas. i cant remeber, oh a watch, the next day i let it at new lovers house. till this day it hasnt been found. lol.

so after a while my "friend" became upset that I who he broke up with was seeing someone else( i wasnt seeing anyone) so he started acting funny. didnt stop him from dropping me off at new lovers guest house all the time tho. yes i am funny like that.

after a while he stopped talking to me. *rolls eyes* good riddance to bad nonsense.

anyways babycakes, still wants to be "friends" the other day he emailed me. honestly i drive now, so his friendship services are no longer needed.

so i guess the lessons i learnt are numerous.
1. dont settle.
2. be choosy about your men
3. keep the gift buying to the minimum
and most importantly

when u find someone that wants to take you to Paris.. for Gods sake... dont be stupid like me. pack your bags and goooooo!!!

and i have found the perfect im gonna make mistakes and just be there for me song.
beulah - sweet kinda something.

the chrous goes like this:

because a sweet kinda something got a hold of me
and even if i fight it, it wont let me go
cant you see??
everyody gotta fall in love
and live every moment like its never enough
one day i may say what was i thinking off

everybody has got to take this road.

do try to listen to the song. and be easy on your friends..:)

a very repentant.
PussyKat.x

sowi its a long post. :)

THANK YOU.

***DISCLAIMER***

This isnt about you, or you.. and i know you think its about you and the next thing you are gonna hit me up on BBM and start aring your views. drop a comment if its that serious. HOWEVER, this post is about YOU and YOU and I both KNOW its you because you read this ish religiously like your bible, even though you lie about it.
any ways its about YOU.


i am picky. all sorts of picky. everyone knows this. im so picky its ridiculous.

i mean, i could drop a friend for cancelling on me.. even if it is to spend time with her beau who has been outta town for 4 years and just got back and blah blah blah. even though i'd do it without thinking twice.( i already said i was ridiculous at it )

but i am even more picky about new friends. i am not an advocate of woman on woman hate, but with some women, it just just advisable not not get sucked in. flee, friendship is optional.seriously.

yes you must have guessed this is a post about WOMEN!!!
Yesterday i went to see my friend's cousin. who said she had gist for me.

PAUSE.
When a girl has gist for you. its one of two things... a man got her something and she wants you to be happy for her *rolls eyes* OR someone was trying to steal her man, and she caught the girl.

anyways so i asked her 4 the gist.. and true to my word, someone was trying to steal her cousins man. *rolls eyes*

i do not feel bad for girls that sleep with married men and then thier friends now try to snipe the men from them. nahhhh, you lot deserve it.

but by the time this babe finished giving me the gist i was like O_O. and i had nothing to say. if you know me personally...I ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

anyways the friend stole her"boyfriends" number from the phone and started calling the said "boyfriend". the man owner got suspicious and strated snooping. found her friends number and turned into a scientist. asking questions. said boyfriend... obviously shifted the blame to the other girl. said she stole the number and started calling the him and what not. notice how he didnt tell the friend not to call him again, because he had a girlfriend, instead he invited her to oriental hotel. *gasp*

said friend confronted that girl, who said yes she did it, but it was the devil.

best part is.. they are still friends.

i told you i do not suport woman on woman hate.

i cant even begin to wrap my mind around how these people know each other. but as they say" to each his own"

so to YOU my female friend, who has had gist for me and it wasnt concerning a man. thank you.

to YOU who i called and cried after my secomd paper because i was scared and had no 1 elseto call. thank you.

to YOU who trusted my judgement and allowed me to take you shopping. thank you

to YOU who i sent my picture to on BBM and you said " Bitch get ur ass to the gym< looking like me". thank you.

to YOU who does Aristo and you have never asked me to follow you to see "him". thank you, because that would have destroyed our relationship.

to YOU who sat behind me all the way from JS2 till SS3 and we had shared too much. thank you.

to YOU who i know wants what i have so bad, but can still smile and be happy for me. thank you. you are a friend.

but to you who keeps harping about some random boy and stressing me. no thanks to you, my patience is wearing thin.

yes you know who you are.

and OMG SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY "CHUNKY" FRIENDS. i was at the gym yesterday. my body hurts allover and you inspire me to keep going back. hahahah.
Gotcha.x

PussyKat.x

my visit to Babcock.

with all due respect, that school is in shambles.and is a hot mess.

i think i havent seen a greater gathering on "not so attractive girls".

i also got all the boys i met there to agree with me. the girls that attend that university did not try... at all.

and i have a couple of friends there, those are the only fine girls.im serious..

and then the students there are delusional.. they actually think thier university is better than Covenant.

i have no idea where they got that from. oh well they are allowed to dream.

and the school isnt pretty to look at.

thats all i took away from there.

congrats to all my babies that graduated:
Ogo. Ope. Wandi. Aisha. Inem. Favour.
welcome to the real world. hope you can cope!!

and OMG i hope the women in brazil will still have hair by xmas.. ahn ahn. 20 outta 10 girls there had the said " brazilain hair" in two plaits down thier sides. i blame pocahontas for this nonsense fad. abeg the next thing they will be saying they have blue eyes.

any ways bottom line. comparing babcock to Covenant is like comparing Lasu to unilag. and we all know you rather attend unilag that babcock...

all in all. it was fun, girls, free foood, free drinks. if you are an awoof lover.

anyways after seein a couple of my friends parents. who remebered me skinny, i knew for a fact that i had to hit the gym.

and so as i blog this... my gym stuff are in my car. off course im wearing tights and a vest. hopefully i wont giggle everywhere.

contemplating doing a mon, wed and saturday movement.

all i want is a flat tummy. and skinnier arms.. the size 12 behind is nice. that i like. i want everything else size 8.

and i found me a new tailor!!!! you must know my love for ankara by now... so yes hopefully she doesnt screw up and she is costing me quite a lot but *shrugs* nothing makes me happier than a properly sewn dress. :P

ok one more thing.. my cousin just started blogging. and he is soo good at it, it hurts, but since its all love between us here is the link:
www.mondayingidi.blogspot.com

thank me later.
songs im really feeling atm: as we enter and under tow. nas &DM and timberland, esthero and the fray.

relationship expert 2.

how to keep a man stolen or not.

STEP ONE.
actually own a man.... yes your own not someone elses own.. how you chose to go about it is your business, but it isnt a rumour it is true, all men are the same, and one womans trash is another womans trash collector. yes men are like that. ( dont try to see reason to that)

now off course its only fair to lay ground rules for those who actually want to keep thier man so yes this is it.

a) keep it fresh, sexy and hot.
yes hit the gym if you must, as unrealistic as it sounds, he wants 2 remeber what or rather who he got attracted too. the pretty girl with the smile and blah blah blah.
so this means he will slowly discover the real you and what you look like, but he would love to keep this discovery to himself. yes men loooovee to brag about thier women, how the hell do you think they rationalize taking you to the salon, or actually letting you get that weave they hate so much. yes so that when his homesboys see you and whistle, they would be like OMG you are soo lucky you babe is HAWT! he wont say that ugly girl that wears hairnet and snores, and blah blah blah you get the point. ladies you have to keep it sexy and sexy and even more sexy, men are visual animals.

b) confidence.

he is yours and he isnt going anywhere( well not until that slimy man stealer comes along and digs her claws into your man) confidence is uber sexy. ikid you not. not all that blond dumb shit you see paris trying to make look cute( i know we all saw thatE!'s 5 steps to be paris) no the kind that knows her stuff, i mean you are doing your thing and he is complementing and not completeing you. yes you will change to make adjustments but you wont lose you to him. because you are confident in who you are. you may not be the prettiest girl but confidence will get you along way. you know how they say an ugly girl starts looking good after a couple of drinks in the club, confidence does that to you.
beware: there is a thin line between confidence and corky.

and if you are corkey= mrs independent and bam! you will be the one everyone wonders how you managed to get a man in the 1st place. trust me thsi will make your man a very easy target.

c) know your man.

he hates trousers, for fucks sakes shave your legs and wear the damn skirts!! all that talk of how it isnt you will get another person (20%) to pop up and skirt you man away from you. yes relationships have been lost over even less fickle things.

he likes tennis, girl u better tink nadal is the hottest thing to hit planet earth, BEFORE sliced bread.

basically know what he likes and as much as possible try to get to it.
offcourse since men are dogs you know his gonna try and pull some fast ones, like asking for a 3some. tell him the get the fuck away from you and cry a river.

if he is the type of man that tears move. as i said know your man, or some1 else will.

d) support your man.

yes you want all the jewels from persia and what not. you gatta support him. what ever his hustle is. if he sells "beans cakes" suggest he puts egg instead of cray fish. you get my point. yes there are women that have managed to lose thier men over nagging.

please cut out the nagging.

e)know your self and be yourself.

i know how much we all want to be beautiful in the eyes of the ones we love, but when you know and love yourself, then you can love another properly without resentment.

f) love, thank and appreciate your man.
growing up, my mother told me never to marry for love. she and all her friends said, marry a man that can look after you, and you'll grow to love him. i dont know if this is true, beacuse i havent been married but i think there is some truth in that, if you have some one that looks after you and your kids you will appreciate them, and appreciation would leave to affection which would lead to love.

g) law of attractio.

if you think he is gonna say, he is gonna stay.

thats alll i can think up right now.
DISCLAIMER:

if all of this do not work email me "iamhrs@ymail.com." to hook you up with my babalawo, yes ke. i have a baba. and he is very good. infact, he uses the ipad to consult ifa,and yes it is my money, actually it is my man's money but whatever.

also there are some men that will never be yours because they belong to other people that have used babalawo to hold him. these are the kind of men that afmag yoruba movies are made off, flee, lest all the male children in your womb be stolen by that other womans babalawo.

im sorry i have no real deep advise on how to keep your man, but if you have got a good man, its advisable to love, cherish, respect and support him. even more important that sex, men love respect( RIP pastor Bimbo). i also advise you to get pastor bimbo dvd's on single and married. lol.

and all that cosmo talk about "communication" with your man, odds are they wont work with nigerian men, you'll come off as needy and depressed.

i hope you email and askfor my baba beacause i cant swear by any other way. lol. but seriously though, relationships are hard work, and if you dont lay down a plan odds are you will be alone for a very very very loooooooooong time. especially if you arent miss Nigeria, and even those ones sef,dem no to dey marry like that.

Godbless. you and your man.
pussyKat.x

relationship expert

i woke up by 5am this morning. yes its kinda like the pattern i used 2 live wen i was reading so the body is still adjusting, at times im awake by 5am. most times 5:11 am.
so i had these thots running through my mind. (actually it takes me about 30mins to convince my body that im done reading and i can sleep in peace and all that) so in that 30 mins, this is what i was thinking. or at least the bits i can remember.

i have single friends, and they have no plans to meet anyone. what is wrong with you people, you think the men would come and meet you

actually the do.

do you people realise that the ratio of men to women is about 1:200. ok i kid. about 1:20. that is if u want a decent man. if we include the useless men ita aout 1:5.

anyways so they still dont have a plan. and believe me, he or rather she whho fails to plan plans to fail. moving on.

so i say what do u mean u dont have a plan, she says all the good men are taken.

and im lkike AND SO????!!!

err im not ready to be anybody 2nd girlfriend, and im like bitch you dont even have a toaster. besides everybody does have a girl friend.

reallife example. the only friend i have that wears a ring is boobsy*. so missB told me and i quote" oh mr D had a girl friend when i met him, but i didnt concern myself with that, i focused on becoming wifey and in say 2 months, he left her for me" high five. you notice how she didnt say i joined his other girlfriend and became " iyawo kekere?"

thats what all these girls do not understand. i believe men are as simple as it gets. there are the womanizers, the talkers and then the doers.
there are also hybrid versions, the womanizer-doers, the womanizer-talkers. but the fact remains that no matter what kinda man he is, if he wants you he will leave her ass for you.

off course if he is a womanizer he will lie thathehas left her and string you along, these kind of men there is no hope for thier kind. flee. they are also the most attractive. dont ask.

anywyas the problem with single girls these days is all this Miss independent talk. yes trust Nigerian girls to take it up a notch.."mrs independent" they act as if no man can toast them and most times, no man will. nigerian men have enough already as it is, they do not need you ass going all dramatic on them. except helikes drama, then stick to dat. it will keep him on his toes.

so back to Nigerian man stealers, the problem that most of them have is this...

they have nothing to offer. lets face it, he has a girlfriend, that gives him everything he wants, u are going to have to up the ante. yes you heard me. when he has met you watch out for the tiny 20% his girlfriend isnt giving him. trust me when a man is getting 80%, that 20% he will never get looks so good. that should be you. if his girlfroend, cant cook. u learn how to cook. if she hates eating out, you'll love it. silly little stuff like that. men are very fickle especially the nigerian man. yes yall are hard working and all that but you know you people are fickle.

(shout out to all nigerian men that are looking after thier families abi?) now to all of you that got up to receive that shout out slap your selves. it is your damn duty to look after your family. gosshhhh.

anyways the key is to bring more to the table, than the present girlfriend.
i should mention that married men are off the list for this single reason: if and not when, if he does marry you, *rolls eyes* that side chic space is gonna open up. and you know how easy its gonna be for him to fill up. yes that means ur 15mis are already up. funny abi?

single girls stay away from married men!!!!! they just bring drama, and wives with buckets of acid into your life. you think im kidding ask around.

ok im done playing relationship expert.
DISCLAIMER: i am not disclaming shit, this works, i promise and if it doesent move on to another man. life too damn short to play second fiddle to another woman. if he isnt leaving her,( u know when he isnt leaving her, all those times you have 2 ask " baby what are we doing?") yes so if he isnt move on to someone else who will.................and trust me there are a million goood men out there. you just need to plan and play the field. although there are some people like yours truky who get to live a cinderella story( wash plates for 21years, and have a prince come to my front door) yes that story except i have more than one prince. hey dont hate the playerette, hate the game.

ok im done now.

so the other day i was talking to my home girl and she said" death to possesive boyfriends" i was giggling and i said, they are posseive and wired that way. i mean face it if your man allowed you go for sleep overs at jide, tomide, and sules house everytime or allowed you it the club without hassling you or even asking you. you are gonna love it, then after a while you will begin to wonder what the hell he is up to with his time especially when jide, and sule and tomide get girlfriends and then u'll relaise he probably needed all the time away from you to pursue other goals( aka other women) yes let him be possesive, at least then you can say
"but u said icouldnt go last time"
as a line that will allow you go. lol.

back to the convo. then i heard in the back ground "DEATH TYO CHEATING GIRLFRIENDS"

in other totally unrelated news,if you went to covenant university and you havent heard that you bad clip. meeenn you are missing out bad!!! that being said, have a lovely weekend people.

God bless.
pussyKat.x

Random note.

so i read a blog post recently, that someone i know put up and i thought at first oh wow, i had no idea relationships are enviable.

then the second thing i thought was there are no perfect relationships.

then the 3rd thing i thought was, oh your single, nevermind, you wont understand.

but as it turns out i was wrong on all three counts.

somr realtionships are enviable, the ones where you are only aware off all the good stuff and all the presents shared. the owner isnt lying per se, they just arent letting you in on the whole package, and so you are envious, the gifts are pretty, the angry words during the fights that led to the gifts being given, not so pretty. but you wont know that, no one would tell you.


second, alomst like the first except you are now privy to imformation. the reasons for the fights, the arguments, the insecurities, the cheating, all the other girlfriends and then you think, oh sheet, she can never be happy here, she is seeling her self short blah blah blah. funny thing is, before you knew all this, she was in an enviable realtionship.

what you dont know wont kill you. really it wont, especially when it isnt your business.

its odd how you envied her happy and now you want her single because there is a rough patch and you are privy to information about it??

third, you do understand because you have been there, so you do know that there are difficult times, but we all chose to remeber only the happy times of the relationships we have had, and somewhat cannot understand how or why this girl stays, with the possessive boyfriend, the nonchallant boyfriend, the cheating boyfriend( even i cant understand) but along the line, we learn to accept our friends choices, accept thier decisions and support them.

and keep the "i told you" so snide comments to ourseleves.

if she loves him or thinks she does, who are you to stop her??

sometimes, i wonder why people make the opinions of others so important in thier relationships, why they feel the need to be friendly with people you honestly cant stand.

ok i think thats all.

moving on something has snapped inside me, before i was able to put up with peoples excesses. like pretend to be cool around people i dont like to please the people i do like. now i cant.
before i could bridge the gap between all my different circles of friends, now i cant. or rather i wont.

yes if a doesnt like be, its thier problem, i would no longer try to fix it. not anymore. you will both have to live with the fact that a and b are my friends. end of story.

mummy told me the older i get i'd realise that
a) all men are the same.
b) in the end it all comes down to you.
c) these people you carry on your head, will fail you. and its only God that wont.

i believe i have reached this point.
*shrugs*

may 25th

remember that date.

well u may not always have to, but it was the day i got back.

thats all im saying.

i love surprises. dont you?