Friday, July 31, 2015

Of Single parentage and hypocrisy


It is NO secret, none at all that my parents are separated.

I live with my mum, always have, it is probably the only life I know.

My mother as every mother worries that she doesn't do/didn't do enough ( which is crazy, she did too much)

I also went to see my father a few weeks ago

And it breaks my heart to say this BUTTTTT, I think my mother may have dodged a bullet.  God really likes her.

That is all I want to say.

But I find it odd when people ( Men*) won't touch you because your father left your mother.

*I have a friend who was always surprised that I had so many toasters, He would always be like OMG I would never touch you with a 10 foot pole. Look at your mum, you already know you do not need a man, my ego can not deal with that abeg.
While I appreciated his honesty, I did not think anything of it.
When I split with my Lover, he was one of the biggest champions of reconciliation, he kept saying look ask your mum, she will tell you.
She did not tell me shit.
Please your father, that stayed with your mother has her calling all his other women begging and pleading them to stop wrecking her home.

I feel the need to let these men know that- Their two parent homes aren't Utopia. and more importantly single parent homes do not have monopoly on raising fucked up children.

I mean ALL* the fuck boys I know have two parents.

* I know enough to paint them with this brush.

I know the psychologists will say that without a father figure and so, a child can't have a balanced life and I'm proof its untrue.

If anything not having a father in my life, has taught me from watching my mother that there is really no glass ceiling.

I mean there is. But people break it. But only if they want.

Again, I am not coming across coherently BUT, having one parent is much more a blessing than a curse.- as far as I'm concerned in my life, my siblings may disagree but ha, guess whose blog this is.

EXCEPT- when you want to get married and then long thing. ( another post)

Yesterday on twitter, someone asked when you realized you were a hypocrite.
And I laughed because I mean, I have ALWAYS been the queen of double standards

Since I could remember.

I mean you guys read this blog, so you know I dabble in hypocrisy from time to time.

But I will tell you when I realized I was about 7, and we had just come from sunday school and my sister had some gogo, so I asked her for some, she said no.

So I told my mother and my mum was like why should she give you, did you not eat your own.
Me: But the bible said we should share.

My mum was like valid point. And made my sister give me some

Fastforward to a few days later roles reversed. Me with candy, My sister, with my mother as a general overseer.

Sister- Give me some now, remember I gave you when you asked.
Me- No
Mummy- Ah Ore give her now, shey the bible said we should share.
Me- BUT ITS ONLY IF YOU WANT.

I think my mother smacked me and made me give her candy,

Now we laugh about it and she tells it at every gathering, almost as a cautionary tale about the kind of person I really am at my core.

Think Jacob really.

But if its any consolation. God blessed Jacob.

I'm deviating but I guess the way people who like the same sex are aware of their sexuality before anyone tell's them, is how I am always known that this was who I am.

The one who likes to eat her cake, have it and have some of your's too.
Just because.



1 comment:

Olamide Amosu said...

I like this post because you raised some valid points about being from a separated home and how guys react. Being from a separated home I have gotten mixed feeling from guys some are drawn to me because they wonder how you wr raised well with one parent and how strong you are, others can't see past it like they have issues with it. All in all It made me the amazing strong lady I am today and I have seen more realities in life than people ever know.

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