Friday, August 7, 2015

City-ing

Do you guys like my Blog over haul?

It takes me forward to when I become prim and proper and all that good stuff

Speaking of forward

I WANT TO GO TO PARIS.

But only because Yewande of SLTFT's just put up a photo of Venus d milo (sp?)

And lots of chinese tourists as a back drop. Loved it

I need a gun.

For two reasons, One being that my driver RAN AWAY.

I swear I will kill him when I find him ( Not with the gun)

Like duh, the gun is not for him, It is for all the OTHER  animals who drive in Lagos without home training that I will need to shoot.

Like excuse me, see that white line, if for your car to stay inside not straddle.

Ps- I had no idea that straddle could be used in any other context asides woman on top of a man.

Blame ALLL the mill's and boons my mother used for my literary development.

Pss- I hate growing up and finding that M&B stories aren't really real/ relatable.

Like I'm not going to be brushing my hair and look out my window and see the labourer in the next compound and our eyes will meet and the beginning of this sexually delicious but tense romance will start and end with me finding that he isn't really a labourer just a multi-billionaire (dangote's son -if you will), who just prefers to get his hands dirty and fix this roof for the house he built himself from gound up (thanks to  his building technology degree-that he doesnt use because he is running daddy's dynasty), and wants to donate to charity.



WHOOOOOSAAAAAAA. As you can see totally un-relate-able.
For one, I use a wide toothed comb through my really lush human hair that cost me a fortune ( what I eventually gave in).

And two my window is closed and the curtain is drawn, why?

Because the A/C is on.

Okay enough of the reasons why this won't work out.

I missed by friend's birthday dinner due to no fault OF MINE.

And I Know it is unacceptable and all that BUT....

Look, It happens.

Now she wont speak to me anymore.

And it just further re-inforces the story that I am really a horrible person.

Really

and I like to think I am not.

I told my friend(not really)  that my Driver left- And he was like- WELLLLLLLLLLLL, no surprises really, you were awful.


I hate to sound needy and whiny but I swear I am not that bad a person. *bursts into tears*

Figuratively off course.

pss- I am getting ready for Barcelona. Like I'm just accepting the fact that I am a fatso.

And would be giving them strictly one pieces ONLY, among other things.

But yah.
You ever wonder why Nigeria is just so full of ugliness?

(I mean its not ugly, but itis full of a lot of ugliness)

I mean home girl just got back from Greece AND LET ME TELL YOU

TRAVEL ENVY IS REALEST.

I mean. Greece is beautiful  ( and broke)

But that doesn't take away from how beautiful it is.

Like the water is clean. the air is fresh, the scenery, the sun set AND OHMYGAD the Men.

Look- Greek men are at the top of the pecking order.

So beautiful. Just so swoon-worthly-beautiful and their bodies.

You Nigerian men with you pot bellies you disguise in your agbada's - we see you and love you but NO.

The greek men win this one.

Here is to an amazing weekend.


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